


Into You

by DairyFarmer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Jealous Keith (Voltron), M/M, all the galra are prob like 'step on me please', allura is an opportunistic lady, but so does the rest of the tbh, coran and shiro just wanna protect their son, lmao zarkon is gunna hate lance for what he's doin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 82,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11917806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DairyFarmer/pseuds/DairyFarmer
Summary: Lance is under no hallucination when he says he’s an attractive person. He IS attractive. Hunk thinks so, his mom thinks so- the people who truly matter all agree that Lance McClain is one fine piece of ass. So it was only a matter of time before everyone else started noticing it too.XxXAU where everything’s the same but the Galra are smitten with Lance





	1. and so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> this amazing AU was crafted by the beautiful brain of sososhady.tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)

To be honest no one on the team was really interested in finding out when... _everything_ started. Mainly because none of them had even _noticed_ what was going on until it was directly in front of their faces (because that would be humiliating to admit) - but even then they still didn’t _quite_ grasp what was going on.

Maybe it started when that Galra ship tried attacking Blue after they left Earth- that probably did something for the “thrill of the chase” instinct most Galra (apparently) seemed to have. Or maybe it was after Sendak invaded the Castle, or on the Balmara, or the Galactic Hub, or on _any_ one of the numerous Galra ships Voltron had raided and destroyed. There was no clear beginning for them to pinpoint, no singular moment where the tables began to turn.

All they knew was that suddenly the Galra they faced off against seemed to share one inexplicable trait, a quirk that was so unexpected and perplexing that they ,had at first, dismissed as nothing of particular significance- because it was _just so implausible_ .  But it was real. _Holy shit it was real._

And to give credit where it was due- Pidge was the first among them to actually raise some speculation about the behavior of some of their Galra prisoners after the team had broken into a cargo cruiser for information about docking locations and ship routes.

It wasn’t even something that particularly stood out, Pidge would later note, it was just that the three Galra they tied up kept...stealing glances at _Lance_. They were split second gazes, not lingering long enough to draw much attention from anyone on the team….well anyone but Pidge.  

Shiro and Keith were keeping watch outside the ship’s main bay while Lance and Hunk both guarded Pidge as they downloaded the information to the castle’s database.

One of the Galra would let their gaze wash over Lance every few seconds, scanning his body up and down before turning their eye to the rest of the room as if to cover up their staring.

Pidge didn't like it.

Nothing good ever came from Galra soldiers eyeing their teammates, it usually meant they were singling one of them out. And as much as Pidge hated the thought of the Galra targeting Lance, they could almost see why they may be more...inclined to choose him.

Pidge's eyes narrowed on Lance's back. The Blue Paladin was half sitting on a dashboard that wound itself around the control deck. His legs swinging idly as he whistled a light tune and fiddled with his bayard. He looked far too at ease, likely why the Galra seemed to be paying him special attention. Pidge quickly glanced down at the loading screen in front of them, irritatingly noting that only about 83% of the information had transferred.

“Lance.” Pidge called. Lance stopped whistling and turned his curious gaze to them, raising a questioning brow.

“Yes Pidgey?” He asked curiously. Pidge didn’t make it a habit of chatting up their teammates during missions so his confusion was well-founded. But Lance was their teammate, they had to look out for him.

“Watch your back, alright?” Pidge replied, tilting their head to subtly gesture to the three Galra tied up in the corner.

Lance stared at them for a second before switching his gaze to the Galra (who all avoided his stare). Lance smirks confidently, the same way he always does when he thinks he's got everything under control but is really about to massively tank.

“Don’t worry Pidge,” He drawled, waving away Pidge’s warning, “these guys won’t get the drop on me. I mean who do you think you’re talking to?” He brags, pushing off the counter, swinging his bayard around, and moving into various ‘heroic’ poses. Pidge scoffs and rolls their eyes at the theatrics, already accustomed to Lance’s brand of personality.

“Whatever.” Pidge mutters and proceeds to ignore Lance until they can finish getting the necessary information.

Pidge tries to put the staring out of their mind- Lance and Hunk are both perfectly capable paladins, they don’t need Pidge to play babysitter. Plus all three Galra are tied up with electra-bound cables, there’s no way they can break out of those with brute strength and both Shiro and Keith searched their bodies beforehand so it’s not like they’re holding any hidden weapons. Lance is safe and the Galra can't try anything, even if they wanted to.

Pidge nods to themselves silently at the thought and tries to speed up the process because even though the chances of anything happen were incredibly low...it didn’t mean they weren’t there.

The second the last of the ship's information transferred Pidge quickly slammed their laptop shut and jumped to their feet.

“We're done here, I got everything I could.” Pidge announced, turning to Hunk who was standing closest to the exit. Hunk shoots them a small smile and nods before turning towards the bay’s doors. Pidge is hot on Hunk’s heel, also about to leave the room when they hear Lance’s voice call out from behind them.

“Well gentlemen,” Lance announces, addressing their bound prisoners, “it’s been fun! But it’s time for us to make like a banana and _split_.” Lance grins widely at the captives, throwing in a saucy wink and finger guns before turning and dancing out of the room with a skip.

Pidge stares after him, the slight curve of amusement tugging at their lips. As Pidge turns, they only give the Galra a passing glance.

Keith and Shiro were both quickly alerted of the mission’s completion and before long, all five paladins boarded their Lions and were headed for the castle, another successful mission to tack under Voltron’s belt. Pidge listened ,silently, to the slight argument between Keith and Lance over the open comms, both of them were voicing their opinions about the exact amount they ‘contributed’ during the mission, with Lance arguing their own importance by pointing out he had guarded Pidge as they stole information from the Galra. ‘ _While the Galra were in the room with us, Keith!_ ’.

Now normally Pidge would be inclined to mention how the Galra were tied up and that Hunk had been guarding them as well, but Pidge’s mind is clouded in thought.  The same way it gets when met with a particularly puzzling situation- because the thing is that Pidge is smart. Really smart. Really _really_ smart. Pidge tends to be the brain of the operation, so that means they end up seeing the small details the others may not see. But if Pidge payed attention to _every single thing_ then nothing would ever get done...but...Pidge still can’t help but think….think of the way the Galra looked after Lance had pranced away like some show-offy doe. It wasn’t bad, or malicious, or really anything very negative it was just...weird. The way they were still watching the place Lance had been been only seconds before, their eyes fixed in widened shock and astonishment (Pidge could relate, Lance truly was his own character with his own brand of personality). But if Pidge didn’t know any better (and Pidge _did_ know better) they’d almost compare the look on those Galra’s faces as being almost identical to every comically lovestruck person in every romantic comedy that was released every summer...ever.

But...no. Just no. Because this was _Lance_ they were talking about. Pidge has known Lance almost close to a full year and they would begrudgingly admit that Lance could be charming at times, what with his bright eyes and glowing skin (how did he do that anyway?), his compassionate and thoughtful nature. Pidge appreciated Lance and all he did, but these were _Galra_ . In Pidge’s experience, all of them were too busy “Vrepit Sa-ing” all over the Universe to probably do much else and the thought of them having an interest...possibly an _attraction_ to Lance was a big no-no. Because Lance was _theirs_ , he belonged to team Voltron, he was Pidge’s _friend_ and no one was going to take that away.

“Yo Pidgeon! You alive in there?”

Pidge flinched ,startled, at the sound of Lance’s voice flooding their comms.

“What?” Pidge asked, a bit too sharply. Lance’s head was suddenly projected onto their dashboard, his brow raised in question.

“You good?” He asked, the lightest touch of concern in his voice. Pidge nodded sharply.

“Yeah, duh. Why?” Pidge asked, rambling a bit and probably speaking quicker than normal. When Pidge got in the zone, they _got in the zone_ and being pulled out of it so quickly always left them slightly disoriented. Lance’s eyes still shone with a gleam of concern.

“Um, because you’ve been sitting in your Lion for the last ten minutes? Usually you’re all _‘Oh boy! Encryption codes! Thanks mom and dad!’_ and then you scurry off to your room until we drag you out for dinner.” Lance replies, doing his best impression of Pidge but he ends up sounding more like a gremlin breathing helium. Pidge is sure he’s doing it on purpose.

“I don’t sound like that!” Pidge immediately gripes. Lance shrugs and grins widely at them through the screen. Pidge feels their own face begin to betray them and mirror Lance’s expression.

“C’mon, I’ll meet you in the kitchen! Last one there is a rotten Keith!” He exclaims, his excited expression taking up the entire screen before it suddenly goes black, signaling the end of the connection. So Pidge immediately leaps up and races out of their Lion because Pidge _can’t resist_ a challenge, even though they know they’ll likely end up being the loser because of Lance’s stupidly long legs and surprisingly ample stamina. But Pidge puts up a respectable fight, they almost crash into Lance in the hall and proceed to attempt to trip him. But Lance just laughs and leaps over Pidge’s so called “baby legs” before dancing away. Pidge watches Lance’s broad back as they chase him to the kitchen. As much of a... _Lance_ as Lance can be he’s still very important to Pidge. Important...in the same way that Matt is.

Pidge is suddenly struck with the memory of Matt in his last few years at the Garrison before graduating. In that time, Matt became a hot commodity (much to his pleasure). Because not only was Matthew Holt a skilled technician and comms specialist but he was also the son of the revered Dr. Samuel Holt, one of the more prestigious Professors at the Garrison. Pilots and Engineers alike went after Matt like starving wolves his last year, looking to up their own careers through him. So Pidge was no stranger to beating off undesirables and suitors, but this was still _Lance_. Lance who always made it a point to invade Pidge’s work space once a day, who badgered Pidge about their latest project, who...always brought Pidge a snack whenever they stopped by, who offered a blanket and water pouch when it started getting late and Pidge couldn’t be persuaded to go to their room, who usually carried Pidge to a couch whenever they couldn’t convince them to retreat to their own bed for the night.

That’s right…

Lance always looked out for Pidge.

Tried to be there for Pidge.

Lance wasn’t just Pidge’s friend, he was their _brother_.

“Ha!” Lance suddenly cheered from in front of Pidge. Pidge’s eyes followed up the line of Lance’s body to his head where they were met with the sight of his brightly grinning face. “Better luck next time Pidgeotto.” He says excitedly as he slides to the kitchen counter and begins pawing through a drawer for water pouches. Pidge remains silent, taking in the sight of Lance’s relaxed smile as he punches a straw through two of the water packets, holding one out for Pidge to accept. Pidge does so wordlessly, blindly attempting to maneuver the straw into their mouth. Lance must find their attempt amusing as he snickers and pointedly takes a long sip before choking and dropping the packet on the floor where it explodes in a watery mess. Pidge grins as Lance bends over and begins hacking.

 _‘He’s such an idiot’_ Pidge thinks absently as they make no move to help Lance and instead prop themselves up on the counter, distractedly swinging their legs back and forth as Lance coughs. _‘But he’s our idiot’_ Pidge thinks fondly as Lance regains control of his breathing and begins whining at the mess he now has to clean up.

Pidge’s mind returns them to the expressions the Galra had worn just as Lance bid them a cheerful  goodbye earlier that day  and suddenly Pidge’s grip tightens enough to begin spilling water from their own pouch.

 _‘They can’t have him.’_ Pidge thinks fiercely. _‘They can’t take Lance too.’_

Pidge clutches the water in their hand tighter, their knuckles slowly turning white as water begins quickly dribbling out and over their hand, then onto the floor. _‘I’ll protect him.’_ Pidge determines. _‘If they want to take him like they took Matt then they’re gunna have to go through me first’_

“Pidge!” Lance suddenly screams, starting Pidge. “I just cleaned there!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> i am personally a fan of mobile version-( there's a picture someone getting bitten by a cow as my header)


	2. this is not how i imagined rising to stardom but ill take it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the team seemingly have a normal mission on a trading planet, they get side tracked when they discover something....unusual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all would not believe the hoops i had to jump through to work on the chapter this week. first my parents moved to a new apartment so we had no wifi because they had to call up our providers to set it up which would take like a week- so i just worked on it at the public library (the place isn't as quiet as you may think). Then i finally moved into the freshman dorms on friday and finally had stable wifi access but then friday and saturday the RA's and welcoming comitteekept us for hours (im talkin like 3-9pm) in welcoming seminars and bonding activities. But I FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER

Shiro was the one who found the merchandise booth. 

The chances of any of them ever coming across it, much less  _ randomly  _ coming across it was practically impossible.

Or at least “statistically improbable” according to Pidge. The trader’s planet they ended up at was similar to the Unilu swap moon that Coran dragged them to a while ago. The only difference was the size and inhabitants, as well as the fact  that the team couldn’t return to that specific space mall even if they’d  _ wanted  _ to. 

They’d been blacklisted by the Galra mall cop. 

Shiro had been disappointed in them and Lance almost cried. At the time it hadn’t even mattered, they’d gotten the teleduv lenses which was the reason they were there at all.

But then the temperature of the castle began fluctuating violently.

And so it was discovered that the castle found itself in need of extra parts to repair the damaged thermoregulator. So their only option was to dock at a well know bartering planet, where they wouldn’t need to concern themselves with having enough GAC to purchase the necessary equipment. It was an easy mission. Simple. Practically a vacation for the paladins considering they’d all been put through the wringer with endless new missions and few breaks in between. It was just like a Allura said,  _ ‘A paladin’s work is never done.’ _

It was  _ supposed  _ to be no problem, no sweat,  _ uncomplicated _ . They’d all split up, wear discreet communication devices under their normal clothes (they’d learnt their lesson from the space mall), window shop a bit, and radio in if they found any of the equipment that Coran had shown them diagrams and pictures of. It was clean, easy work. No fighting necessary, no Voltron needed.

The five paladins all arrived planet side with no issues, using one of the castle’s escape pods to land in a large grid-like plot of land that had the uncanny appearance of a supermarket parking lot. Apparently some things were just universal.

“Alright, so in order to cover the most ground we might have to split up and each take a section of the planet.” Shiro began, turning his head slightly to look at the others as they navigated between hulking ships that likely carried hundreds of crew members, as well as small single passenger capsules that littered their quadrant of the designated landing site. 

“Uh, are you sure that’s a good idea Shiro?” Hunk asked, uncertainly looking up at where countless vessels were entering and leaving the planet’s atmosphere in bright, flaming displays. “I mean this isn’t exactly a swap moon, it’s more of a swap...planet. So there’s a lot more ground to cover than before.” Hunk pointed out. Pidge nodded from beside him.

“Plus this place is just an open marketplace with booths and tents, no tech  _ at all! _ I can’t exactly break into their security cameras and watch our backs through the monitors.” Pidge added. Allura and Coran had warned them of the Planet, it was essentially all desert save for the parts that were developed and turned into a massive flea market. Traders, merchants, and collectors from all over the Universe came to Planet Atie for their shopping needs (both legal and illegal). The paladins were well aware of the danger that Atie could possibly hold. The streets were narrow- not suited for a rushed escape should the need arise. And the massive numbers of aliens traversing through the lines of tents and stalls made the already narrow streets incredibly congested- the paladins could easily lose each other in the crowd. 

“I know.” Shiro agreed, nodding as he led the small group to a multi-split path leading into the busy streets. “And normally I would be against breaking up the team in order to go off on our own, especially in a place like this.” He said, gesturing to the lines of brightly colored tarps covering stalls to provide shade and stretching as far back as the planet’s horizon. “But we need those parts, and the only way we’re going to be able to find them in a place like this is if we split up and-”

“Look for clues?” Lance Interjected, a bright grin plastered across his face. Shiro stopped, his mouth still open to speak.

“Yes.” He replied, somewhat hesitantly. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Don’t bother, Shiro.” Keith says, eyeing Lance with slightly narrowed eyes. “He’s just making another one of his stupid inside jokes again.”

“It’s not my fault that everyone here , specifically  _ you _ , have no class.” Lance replied, crossing his arms and turning his nose up at the Red paladin.

“As if  _ you  _ know anything about being classy,” Keith scoffed. Shiro could see Lance’s shoulders rising in offense and quickly stepped between the two to avoid further argument.

“Alright! Lance you head to the leftmost path, Keith you head to the rightmost path we’ll radio check in 30 doboshes.” Shiro instructs, pacifying the rising tempers between the two paladins. Lance huffs in annoyance and murmurs his understanding before turning on his heel and marching away from the group to disappear into the crowd. Shiro hears Keith breath deeply through his nose before also turning away, making a sound of agreement and immediately being swallowed up by the horde of shoppers. Hunk and Pidge both turn to Shiro, their own inquisitive expressions following the flow of the crowd in the remaining three paths.

“If you find something radio me so that we can reconvene and retrieve the items.” Shiro advises. He’s the only one among them with the pouch full of glowing gems that Allura gave him to haggle with, not because Allura didn’t  _ trust  _ the other paladins with the mission. But apparently the mission to the Unilu mall had not been a smooth success. Both Hunk and Pidge nod before darting off down their own paths and leaving Shiro standing alone at the entrance arch. Shiro breathes in slowly and begins marching forward, taking wide steps, and easily maneuvering between those entering and leaving stalls and tents. He keeps his eyes peeled for any tables that look like they may be lined with scrap metal or ship parts. Normally Shiro would be worried about he and the other paladins being recognized but everyone on Atie seemed more interested in their own personal tasks rather than paying attention to their surroundings. 

Shiro quickly side steps a brightly cloaked alien with a long elephant-like nose and ducks beneath the swinging arms of a tall, gangly blue alien that towered over most of the people in the streets. Shiro sighs and wipes away the beads of sweat forming on his forehead, the heat of the desert was starting to get to him and being in all dark cloths was not helping his slowly rising temperature. Shiro tries to stay under the shade of the tarps and hanging decorative blankets as much as possible as he quickly scans the various tables he passes. 

Everything he saw was attractive and caught his attention instantly. Spices and fruits with heavy and soft fragrances that urged him to come closer, pieces of shiny cloth and what looked like miniature hand looms drew his eyes to them, furs and plush fabrics that looked like they were begging to be felt and rubbed between his fingers. Although he may not seem like it, Shiro was a very tactile person. Exploring was in his very nature, it was one of the things that drew him to the Garrison in the first place.

The sudden sound of rushing water immediately caught his attention and Shiro drew his eyes away from the table displaying elaborate glass figurines of Galra sentries. They reminded Shiro a bit of the small, plastic, green army men he used to see in old films as a kid. Shiro stepped closer in the direction of the sound, turning a corner and immediately being met with an oddly carved pink stone fountain- water gushing out of it’s porous walls. Shiro immediately approached it upon seeing other shoppers scooping up the white frothy water into buckets and flasks. Bending over with cupped hands to fill his palms with water, Shiro lifted it to his mouth. It’s cooling effect was instantaneous, it’s temperature practically icy as he swallowed down mouthfuls. Shiro sighed slightly in relief, before moving a hand over his communicator. If he had gotten so thirsty by just wandering around in the heat for a few minutes he had to check on the other paladins to see how they were doing.

Shiro tried to make his movements as innocuous as possible, laying his hand over the covered comms to activate it. Just as Shiro prepared to speak a flash of brightly dyed blue fabric caught his eye. Shiro’s eyes widen in shock as he turned to face a stall that was filled with trinkets, prints, and posters of-

“Lance.” Shiro breathed.

XxX

Despite originally setting off in opposing directions Lance and Keith had somehow ended up running into each other as they scoured booths and tents for the parts that Coran asked for. Lance was  _ just  _ trying to chat up the stall owner of what looked with small birds of prey (considering one of the weirdly Jurassic looking winged animals was eyeing the animal plushies across the street in a hungry way) to see if they could offer any sort of lead, when Keith suddenly pulled him away.

“Wha-?  _ Mullet _ !” Lance exclaimed as he was pulled backwards by the hood of his jacket, forcing Lance to walk in reverse as he was pulled away from the confused green alien. “Slow down! You’re gunna make me fall!” Lance hissed, attempting to reach up and pry Keith’s stupid fingers off his jacket.

“We don’t have time for you to mess around, Shiro gave us a mission.” Keith replies boredly. Lance struggles for a few more seconds, trying to dig his recently filed nails into the skin of Keith’s stupid hands.

_ “Lance.” _

Lance suddenly stopped, startled at Shiro’s voice crackling over the communicator. Thankfully Keith also decided to stop moving, letting Lance lightly bump into him as they slowed down to rest by a support pillar for the tarps of a line of tables.

“Yeah?” Lance replied, managing to yank Keith’s fingers off his jacket and letting them drop down to the Red Paladin’s side. Honestly, it was like that boy had no concept of ‘look but don’t touch’.

_ “Lance.” _ Shiro repeated.

“Uh..yeah?” Lance responded, brow raising slightly in confusion and sharing a slightly befuddled look with Keith. “Did you not hear me the first time? What’s up?” Lance asked, fiddling with his shirt and letting his back lean against the pillar behind him.

_ “Lance…, guys, all of you- get over here.”  _ Shiro said, voice sounding slightly strained and borderline disbelieving. Lance froze, his fingers stilled where they were pulling at a stray thread on his shoulder. Lance prided himself on knowing his teammates well. And he thought he had Shiro down pat, he was a simple guy with simple joys in life- but the main thing about Shiro was that the guy pretty much  _ always  _ kept it chill. He was a lot like Allura in the sense that he tried to keep the peace on the ship, dissolving arguments and sending people to their rooms (mostly Lance and Keith) for misbehavior. But the one thing that Shiro didn’t do- was panic (or at least not publically). But he sounded as close to panicked as Shiro could get just now. Lance shared a look with Keith and both immediately set off, back to the location they had last seen Shiro.

“What do you think happened?” Lance asked as he avoided bumping into the milling aliens.

“Don’t know, but it must’ve been something important if Shiro sounded like that over the comms.” Keith replied, barely avoiding mowing down someone who barely looked like they reached Lance’s knees. “And especially if he was asking for  _ you _ .” Keith had to add because he was a _ fucking asshole _ .

“And what is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?” Lance asked despite knowing  _ exactly  _ what Keith meant.

“It means whatever you want it to mean.” Keith replied, stopping in front of the multi-split paths that they had last seen Shiro and the others. Keith looked down each of the paths critically, his eyes narrowed as he observed the different species all lingering together down every road open to them.

“This way.” He said abruptly, dashing forward and not even giving Lance  _ a freakin second to register what was happening. _

“Hey!” Lance called out, racing after Keith who made no signs of slowing down. Lance huffed and muttered under his breath, struggling to maneuver through the crowd with his usual grace while Keith just stampeded down the middle of the street like he was some enraged rhinoceros that was personally offended by a safari group, thus scarring an eight year old innocent boy named Lance McClain who  _ just  _ wanted to see some hippos.

“I said  _ ‘Hey!’ _ !” Lance hissed as he reached out to grab the back of Keith’s jacket. Keith flailed like the loser he was and turned his head to give Lance an incredulous look.

“What are you doing?” He asked, confused. _ As if he had a right to sound confused. _

“What am  _ I  _ doing?” Lance asked. “What are  _ you  _ doing? You don’t even know if this the right way!” Lance exclaimed. Keith frowned and easily pulled away from Lance’s grip.

“Of course this is the right way.” Keith replied.

“Oh _ is it  _ ?” Lance replied, pitching his voice in a way he knew would sound annoying. “Then please,  _ enlighten me. _ ”

Keith’s eyes narrowed in annoyance before turning his body to face Lance fully.

“It was a gut feeling.”

_ ‘Oh my gooooood.’ _

Lance released a long breath.

“A gut feeling?” Lance asked. Keith nodded. “A gut feeling is somehow going to help us find Shiro faster than, say….asking him?”

Keith nodded. “Have my instincts ever been wrong before?” He asked. Keith wasn’t smiling, but Lance could feel the smugness radiating off him in waves because-

“No.” Lance replied somewhat reluctantly. “They haven’t….yet.” Lance added just so he wouldn’t give Keith the satisfaction. But Keith seemed affected because his lips curled up in triumph before turning and continuing marching down the street, Lance following after him.

“This doesn’t prove anything Mr. _ I-still-shop-at-Gymboree _ .” Lance says as he catches up to Keith to walk beside him. Keith’s smile slipped off his face and he turns his head to frown at Lance.

“What is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?” He asks, annoyance bubbling through his voice.

“ _ It means whatever you want it to mean. _ ” Lance replies, grin creeping on his face at the sight of Keith’s narrowed eyes. Rather than allowing Keith to respond and possibly deliver some devastating comeback that would take Lance a minute to refute, Lance dashes forward, jumping between the patrons of Atie and getting a headstart before Keith could do something.

“Lance don’t run ahead!” Keith yells from behind him. Lance scoffs, as if  _ Keith  _ had any right to tell anyone to  _ not  _ do something. Lance continues forward, occasionally glancing back to see if Keith was following because if Keith decided to be a  _ shit  _ and intentionally get lost then  _ Lance  _ was going to be the one to receive the lecture because Keith was a piece of shit that knew how to work the system in his favor. But damn if Lance didn’t respect that.

A flash of white caught Lance’s attention and he immediately turned his head, scanning the crowd before his eyes finally landed on Shiro. Lance grinned and turned around to find Keith, who had by then caught up and was glaring at Lance’s back from a few paces away.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself.” He grouches, practically growling as he comes up beside Lance and crosses his arms over his chest.

“I always am.” Lance sings before gripping Keith’s chin between two fingers and turning them in Shiro’s direction. “But look who I found!” Lance grins, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. Shiro’s back is to them but Lance could recognize that ass from anywhere. Keith pulls his chin out of Lance’s hands with an annoyed huff, running his hand over the area before starting forward, not even bothering to offer a _ ‘way to go Lance!’  _ or _ ‘good job Lance!’  _ or _ ‘I wish I was as cool as you Lance!’.  _

Lance really was the unsung hero of this team.

Lance’s lips pull down into a slight pout and he follows after the speed walking Keith at a much more sedate pace. Despite the tone of Shiro’s voice when he requested the rest of the team show up, he didn't  _ look  _ like he was in danger. Lance did a subtle scan of their surroundings, pretending to stretch his arms over his head so he could tilt his head back and check behind him. Nothing. Or at least nothing that screamed  _ ‘Immediate threat! Need backup!’  _

Now Shiro was cautious, but he wasn’t  _ paranoid _ , he gave people the benefit of the doubt and worked hard to make sure things turned out okay when it turned out that the  _ ‘benefit of the doubt’ _ wasn’t the best choice. But Lance respected Shiro, trusted him with  _ his life  _ even. If Shiro called them to him, then it must’ve been important.

Lance and Keith finally stop a few feet away from the Black Paladin, Keith reaches out with a hand to touch Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro turns around before he can and he gazes at them with eyes full of relief. Lance immediately straightens up because obviously Shiro’s got something important to say considering he was looking at them (and more importantly,  _ Lance _ ) in that way

“I need you guys to help me destroy this stand.”

….What?

Lance had to take a moment, really  _ absorb  _ the words. Because there’s no way that goody two-shoes, poster boy for the Boy Scouts, the living embodiment of a ‘choice morsel’  _ just said that. _

“Alright.” Keith replied without hesitation and  _ what the fuck! _ Does Bad-Haircut McGee not give a shit about destruction of property!? But then again he should’ve expected it, Keith follows Shiro like a moth to light. Because if Keith were an animal, he would undoubtedly transform from a caterpillar into an ugly brown moth rather than the beautiful blue butterfly that Lance is.

A sudden punch to his arm has Lance wincing and he turns to glare at Keith who still had their fist out while his eyes shined with a slightly offended light.

“If anyone would be a moth it’d be  _ you _ .” Keith retorts, it occurs to Lance that he  _ may  _ have spoken out loud. Lance opens his mouth to complain to Shiro, because he knew Shiro would have his back, and also because Keith just  _ hit  _ him.

“Shiro!” Lance whines. Keith’s eyes suddenly fill with a fearful light, the same fear that every elementary school student feels when a classmate they were fighting with begins crying their fake-ass-bitch tears. “Shiro! Keith hit me!” Lance calls out and begins walking forward in the direction that he had last seen Shiro, the Black Paladin had looked particularly shifty just before he ducked behind a silver trimmed blanket that was hanging from overhead racks of a stall.

“Lance!” Keith hisses, the slightest edge of desperation in his voice.

“Shiro!” Lance calls out louder.

“Lance,  _ please _ !” Keith ground out, reaching out a hand to grip his shoulder and prevent Lance from moving forward. 

“What are you losers doing?”

Keith and Lance both turn their heads, immediately spotting Hunk and Pidge ambling towards them.

“If by ‘loser’ you mean Keith, then he’s trying to stop me from seeking justice.” Lance offers, before turning to Hunk and cheerfully waving at him from where Keith has him restrained. Hunk grins and waves with a slow movement of his hand.

“Do you know why Shiro called us here? It sounded kinda important.” Hunk says, glancing around as if searching for their aforementioned leader.

“I don’t think it’s something too bad, I mean he was asking for  _ Lance  _ before he called all of us to him so my interest is peaked.” Pidge offers, shrugging their shoulders and taking a step forward. Lance frowns and shoots his hand out towards them, plucking Pidge’s glasses off their face and shoving them down his shirt in a quick movement. Pidge screeches in offense and immediately begins shoving their clammy hands up Lance’s shirt in an attempt to retrieve their stolen specs. Lance  _ did not _ count on Pidge being willing to dive their hands under his clothes to retrieve said item and immediately began screaming when he felt their tiny, cold gremlin hands touching him.

Shiro burst out from behind a row of hanging decorative blankets. His eyes wide and alert, before his eyes settle on Pidge who is pulling their hands away from Lance.

“What happened?” He asks, brow raised and confusion creeping into his tone, but from the look on his face Lance can tell he doesn’t really want to know.

Lance tells him anyway.

“Pidge violated me.” Lance immediately says. Shiro purses his lips a bit and looks like he’s trying to figure out something to say. 

He doesn't say anything and instead decides to turn around and go back to wherever he burst out of.

Keith shoves past Lance and follows after Shiro because Keith is a  _ bitch _ , but Lance decides to keep that thought to himself and instead looks towards Hunk and Pidge who both shrug and follow after the Red and Black paladins.

Now there are several things that Lance  _ did not  _ expect to see once he finished brushing aside the hanging decorations of a stall. Which honestly...isn’t a big deal- it’s  _ outerspace _ , every other week he gets his mind blown (just a few days ago he’s pretty sure this gelatinous, octopus-looking alien thing tried to fuck him but he got outta there  _ real quick _ , so he may never know the truth) so by this point Lance has more or less seen it all.

That still doesn’t prepare him for being greeted by a huge poster of himself in his Blue Paladin uniform, posed to shoot with his bayard transformed.

Lance needs to stop for a second.

He needs a moment.

A good couple minutes.

Because-

“What. The.  _ Fuck _ .” Pidge breathes.

Lance agrees, taking a step forward and scanning down the table-  _ a fucking table _ \- full of stuff about him.  _ Him _ . Lance  _ Mc-freakin-Clain. _

Lance’s finger trail over what look like a charm of himself grinning widely with his bayard hanging down by his hips in a...suggestive pose. Now Lance has no money, but  _ somehow  _ he’s gunna buy it because  _ daamn _ . 

Lance feels an excited smile begin creeping onto his face and quickly begins making his way down the table- it looks like there’s a roll of thick repair tape with his face blowing a kiss printed on the roll, he’s gunna take that. A thick blanket with himself sprawled across it in a ‘ _ come hither _ ’ pose, and he’s  _ definitely  _ getting that because that’d make a  _ great  _ Christmas present to Allura.

Lance is in  _ heaven _ , a heaven filled entirely of  _ himself _ .

“This is  _ amazing _ .” Lance squeals, holding his arms out like he’s Rose on the Titanic.

“More like horrifying.” Keith mutters from beside him holding up- is that an  _ action figure _ ?!

Lance reaches out and snatches the figure of himself out of Keith’s hands. The figure is in his Blue Paladin uniform, well actually-  _ everything  _ of him in the booth is of him in his uniform. But who doesn’t love a man in uniform?

Lance grins and begins fiddling with the limbs, bending the arm to make the toy of himself to-

“Are you serious?” Keith asks, sounding exasperated.

“What?” Lance asks innocently. Toy-Lance is now posed with his legs spread out, one hand pointed out while the other is bent with Lance’s head tucked toward his elbow. “Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t do it if  _ you  _ found a toy of yourself!” Lance defends.

“Actually I’d be too busy trying to figure out why there was a doll of myself in the first place!” Keith retorts.

“It’s an  _ action figure _ ,” Lance stresses, “and you’re just jealous!”

“Of what?!” Keith asks incredulously.

“Of the fact that there’s a book with pictures of  _ me  _ in them!” Lance retaliates, holding up a shiny cover booklet with candid shots of himself. Keith immediately rips it out of his hands and begins flipping through it, looking thoroughly exasperated.

“These are from Galra security monitors!” Keith exclaims, opening the pamphlet and shoving it in Lance’s face. 

“So?” Lance asks, shrugging his shoulders.

“SO?!” Keith sputters. “ _ SO _ , it means someone’s been watching us!”

“You mean  _ me _ .” Lance interjects, because he  _ has  _ to. Keith narrows his eyes on Lance and tosses the booklet aside.

“Hey!” Lance exclaims, and chases after the leaflet where it fell to the floor. Another hand picks it up before he can and Lance rises back up to meet the eyes of a smiling pinkish reptilian looking alien.

“Interested in buying?” They ask with a melodic voice. Lance is instantly entranced.

“Yes.” He replies immediately.

“ _ No _ .” Another interjects. Lance turns his head and spots Shiro coming up to stand beside Keith who is standing with his shoulders slumped and arms crossed. “But we  _ do  _ have some questions.” Shiro says.

The stall owner is wearing a long red robe with gold lining which  floats in the light wind running through the streets. They nod their head slowly and gently set down the booklet along side others of it’s kind.

“How may I assist you today, customer?” They ask. Shiro gazes uncertainly up and down the stall, using his pinky to pick up the charm Lance had set down earlier.

“What is...all of this?” He asks hesitantly. The stall owner smiles, their eyes curling up slightly in amusement.

“You don’t know?” They ask.

“ _ Obviously _ .” Keith scoffs. Shiro nudges Keith harshly causing him to let out a grunt before turning to the alien and murmuring an apology.

“Blue is a popular figure among the Galra populace, his attraction appears to stem from a combination of exoctic looks and behaviorism considered seductive in their culture.” The alien explains.

“The  _ Galra  _ populace?” Shiro asks sharply.

“It’s Lance actually” Lance interjects. The vendor’s attention is pulled away from Shiro and to Lance where their face tilts slightly in confusion.

“What was that, customer?” They ask.

“Lance. My name is Lance, not Blue- though that would be a pretty cool name to have I gotta admit.” Lance explains, smiling. The alien’s eyes are confused for a moment longer before they widen in comprehension. Suddenly they reach out a scaly hand to grip Lance’s chin, turning his head slightly to get a look at him from various angles.

“ _ Hey! _ ” Keith calls out, taking a step forward and tugging Lance out of the stall owner’s hands by his shoulders. They don’t seem to notice and instead let out what sounds like an excited but very throaty trill.

“Customer! If you may, I will give you anything you wish from my stall if you agree to a trade!” They exclaim, eyes glimmering brightly. Lance eyes the posters of himself rolled up along the table and pretend to consider the offer.

“I’ll do it.” Lance replies, excitement already bubbling in his stomach. He bounces a bit on the balls of his feet and grins widely in the shop owner’s direction.

“No.” Shiro protests, narrowing his eyes and wagging a finger in disapproval at Lance. What does he think Lance is, a dog? They both know he’ll just do whatever he wants.

“...Forgive me, but are you doing it or not?” The pinkish alien asks, looking between him and Shiro unsurely.

“Yes.”

“No.”

Both Shiro and Lance reply at the same time before turning to look at each other with raised brows and slightly offended looks at one another.

“I am the leader of Voltron and I say  _ ‘No’ _ .” Shiro says, crossing both arms and looking far too much like he's already won. But Shiro's at a disadvantage. Because Lance has rotten, know-it-all older brothers and sisters and if there’s _ one thing  _ Lance can do- he can play ball.

“Really?” Lance says, faux shocked as he places a hand to his chin. “Cuz it seemed to me like  _ Allura _ really dominates the strategy meetings.”

Shiro's eyes turn to him with both brows raised in astonishment and maybe a little bit of agreement. Because yeah, what do you think of that Takashi Shirogane? When Lance McClain goes up to bat he fucking  _ swings _ .

“Lance!”

Lance turns at the call of his name and spots Hunk coming towards him, Pidge trailing after him.

“Look! They’ve got cute little dolls of you!” Hunk gushes, holding out a small cloth Lance with sparkling blue buttons for eyes and a tiny little rifle bayard.

“Awwww.” Lance coos, poking a finger at the soft toy. “It’s so cute!”

“It’s not cute!” Pidge immediately fires, their eyes lighting up. “It’s weird! People are buying and selling pictures, posters, dolls, and-and-and who knows what else about you! Doesn’t it bother you?” Pidge asks, their gaze imploring as they look up at Lance. Lance eyes a wall decal of himself shooting finger guns and lets his silence do the talking for him. Pidge sighs and lets their shoulders slump down in exasperation. I mean are any of them really that surprised? Out of all of them Lance  _ is  _ the second hottest person on the team.

“What should we do?” Pidge asks, turning to look at Shiro and Keith who are frowning at a lifesize stuffed body pillow of Lance.

“Let’s burn it.” Keith immediately replies, Shiro nods from beside him. Lance isn’t sure if this is Keith’s weird of way of showing that he cares for Lance or if the isolation of being alone for a year is manifesting and Keith is finally snapping, because this is still the person who set off explosions and beat up a bunch of military doctors the night Lance saw him again.

“You can’t do that!” Hunk immediately says, looking horrified. Keith raises a brow as if to ask ‘why not?’. Pidge shrugs their shoulders and doesn’t look particularly against the plan. But Shiro’s eyes look hesitant, his gaze flickering between the stall and Lance who has snuck away from the group and is listening to Neriice (the apparent buyer and seller of said merchandise) explain the popularity of various items.

“Our best selling item is actually a simulated depiction of yourself.” Neriice explains, reaching below the table to pull out a rolled up, shiny piece of paper.

“Lance we’re going back to the Castle, and we’re going to tell Allura about this.” Shiro whispers into his ear. Lance absently nods.

“Yeah, in a minute I just wanna see something first.” Lance says, leaning forward in anticipation as Neriice unrolls the paper.

“Lance we really should be getting back, I mean these are Galra we’re talking about we-” Shiro’s voice cuts off with a choke. Lance sucks in a breath and slowly raises a hand to bring the poster closer to him.

“It’s the traditional Galra concubine dressings, often seen among the upper class courtesans of the nobility.” Neriice explains. The photoshopped image of himself is adorning a purple, mesh like body suit, barely dark enough to cover Lance’s…parts. A pink translucent fabric is wrapped around Lance’s hips and over his shoulders, golden bangles dangle from his wrists and ankles, and deep maroon markings are painted on Lance’s cheeks- with thick lines alternating with thinner ones to form geometric designs trailing the lines of his cheekbones to his neck.

It’s the greatest thing that Lance has ever seen. And now he kinda wants that outfit because  _ goddamnnn  _ he looks good.

“...Guys I change my mind let's burn it.” Shiro says flatly.

XxX

The ride back to the castle is quiet.

Lance doesn't know if it’s because everyone feels awkward or if it’s because the stuff Lance traded a few locks of hair for were taking up a majority of the space.

“So are we just all not talking about it? Not saying that’s a bad idea I just wanna know.” Pidge interjects, a rolled up wall decal poking them in the cheek.

“I think that….perhaps...this may be a situation that must be...discussed extensively.” Shiro says carefully, his grip on the controls of the escape pod practically trembling

“...So we  _ are  _ gunna talk about the fact that Lance is a pin-up?” Keith asks.

Pidge chokes on their spit, the ship suddenly dives down from Shiro’s surprised fumbling, and Hunk and lets out a loud cough. Lance just smiles, because nothing Keith says is going to ruin the high he has.

“You say what you wanna say,” Lance begins, shrugging and using the poster he’s holding to poke the back of Keith’s neck from where he’s sitting beside Shiro. “But I know that deep inside you’re  _ burning  _ with jealousy.”

Keith doesn’t reply and instead reaches a hand up and crunches his hand around the poster, crinkling it up.

Lance has to be held back by Hunk the entire ride back to the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time : allura and coran get in on it and the team turns to the only other galra they know to get some perspective
> 
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	3. i may not know dick, but i do know 'dick'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allura and paladins reach out to the blade of marmora to figure out what in the tiddy fucks is going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my first week of university and i already hate it- not the classes, they're okay- but the food, jesus christ ive been living off of pb&j sandwiches and oatmeal everyday for the last week and i am ready and willing to kill someone just for the chance to lick an unpeeled mango.

The thing that Shiro hated most about being in charge...was that he was in charge.

Now normally that wasn’t a thing that bothered him, Shiro was _used_ to being in charge, he was _acquainted_ and _familiar_ with it. But the thing was that everyone just assumed that if you took the lead then you _somehow_ knew what you were doing. And to some extent Shiro _did_ know what he was doing- he knew how to buy his own groceries, how to file his taxes, how to keep score in a baseball game, and how to get grass and oil stains out of white clothing.

But the thing about being in space was that...no one was hounding Shiro, desperate to know about what their deductions for a mortgage would be. Out in space people expected Shiro to be able to do things like “negotiate” and “peacefully” resolve conflict and... _know_ what he was doing. But the truth was that Shiro didn’t.

He had _no idea_ what he was doing.

Shiro hadn’t even been in charge of the Kerberos mission, he’d just been the pilot for the ship. And now all of a sudden everyone was turning to _him_ , expecting _him_ to have the answers and know what to do and what to say.

Usually that would be enough to send Shiro into a near breakdown…

But he thanked god everyday for Allura.

XxX

At first Allura’s face didn’t say much, just the slightest widening of her eyes gave way to her reaction to the information that the five paladins (more like four, Lance was plopped down on the floor unraveling the merchandise he had brought with him) had laid out for her.

“...Are you sure that you heard correctly?” Allura asks, her head tilted inquisitively. Shiro nods and lets his gaze wash over a smugly grinning Lance as he sorted through his new posters.

“And this shop owner said that... _Galra_ were the main customers?” Coran asked, frowning slightly.

“That’s what they said, yes. We didn’t get a chance to ask any more questions, I figured it’d be better to come back here and see what you thought of it before making a move.” Shiro replied and pointedly does not mention how close they came to setting the stand on fire had Lance not protected it with his own body and loudly proclaimed how if they wanted to destroy the stall they’d have to kill him first.

Shiro was honestly unsure about how serious Lance was about that statement.

“This is most...concerning.” Allura trailed off, her fingers tapping against her cheek absently. “For as long as I can remember, I can’t recall Galra ever accumulating a single united interest for something before.” She says quietly, a pensive expression taking over her face.

“I mean like...Zarkon’s got like a totally weird _thing_ for the Black Lion so you might wanna reassess that statement.” Hunk points out, Pidge nodding in agreement beside him.

“I don’t think it’s that bad.” Lance pipes up, getting up from his crouched position on the floor. “I mean let’s be honest here,” he begins, turning to face the others, his arms full of rolled up posters and shiny booklets, “we all knew this day would come.” Lance grins  brightly, his cheeks a light red as he tries to hand off some of his things to Hunk.

“ _You_ might think is great, but one of those pamphlet things had pictures from Galra monitors- someone on the inside had to have been the one to hand them over.” Keith announces, stepping forward and between Lance and Hunk who were exchanging rolled up decals.

“Yeah and this stand isn’t the only thing.” Pidge interjected. “I noticed something a while ago.”

“Noticed what?” Shiro asked, brow raised. Pidge tended to be one of more observant of the group, so the fact that this...whatever _this_ was may have been going on for longer than they realized made a heavy feeling settle in his stomach.

“A couple weeks ago when we boarded that Galra ship and were downloading information- Lance and Hunk were on watch duty, and while it was loading I noticed the guards we tied up were...watching him.” Pidge said, frowning in thought as they recalled the occurrence.

“So?” Keith asked, shrugging his shoulders. “They were probably looking for an opening to escape, that’s why we _have_ watch duty.” Keith points out. Pidge huffs and crosses their arms.

“I _know_ that but I just didn’t like the way they kept stealing glances at him.” Pidge replies, narrowing their eyes.

“Awwww,” Lance coos, coming up behind Pidge and flopping his torso down over them. “Pidgey, baby, were you trying to defend my honor?” He asks, a giddy smile painted over his face. Shiro can see Pidge straining under Lance’s body and almost moves to help when Pidge heaves Lance off with a loud grunt of effort.

“Don’t look too deeply into it.” Pidge snorts, an annoyed flush accompanying their downturned lips and crossed arms. “It was just suspicious. We were there for almost ten doboshes and _not once_ did they look at me or Hunk.” Pidge points out.

“There are probably some good explanations for that.” Keith argues, raising a brow and looking wholly unconvinced.

“Well then why were they staring at Lance?” Pidge asks, a challenging expression forming and focusing on Keith who immediately returned the look.

“Ummm because they have _eyes_ ?” Lance throws in, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean come on!” Lance cries, turning to face the room with puckered lips and a slight pose. “Is it so hard to believe that people are attracted to _me_? I’ve got like three exes who will still say I’m pretty!” Lance whines slightly, his face creasing into a pout.

“No one’s saying that you’re not attractive bro.” Hunk soothes, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulders, who leant into the embrace.

“Who’s not saying that?” Keith asks.

Shiro immediately steps in front of Lance, preventing him from vaulting out of Hunk’s arms and into Keith’s where he might actually make good on his promise to _‘open a can of whoop ass that’s had your name on it since our first day in flight school!’_

“Princess, if what Pidge says is correct then it appears this may be something we have let go unrecognized for quite some time.” Coran states, his brows furrowed in uncertainty as he eyed the stack of merchandise Lance threw a fit over being able to bring onboard with them.

“What do you mean _‘if’_?” Pidge asked with a slightly offended voice as Allura nods sharpley and turns to activate the star charts.

“If this has been going on for longer than we have been aware we may need to turn to our allies in order to attain information on the present situation.” Allura says, reconfiguring coordinates on the ship's log. “Hunk, Pidge do you think you’ll be able to locate the parts necessary to fix the temperature regulator within a vaga?” Allura asks quickly as the projector in the front of the room begins plotting a layout for the ship’s course.

“If you can give me a few doboshes to create a rendition of the trader’s planet and run it through a detail refiner then sure.” Pidge says, shrugging and already making their way to their control panel. “But why the sudden crunch time? I thought you wanted us to relax a bit, isn’t that why you sent us all down to find the parts by ourselves?” Pidge asks, rapidly typing into their keyboard.

Allura nods their head affirmatively from the bow of the ship. “I had wished for the five of you to rest a bit and believed exploring a relatively safe planet would accomplish that. But it appears that the current state of affairs have become-” Her eyes shoot to Lance who has fully unraveled a large poster of himself shot from the back, standing with his legs spread apart in a classic power stance with emphasis placed on his cocked ass. “-most disturbing.” She finishes and looks back to the front of the ship, pretending like she wasn’t just taking in Lance’s posters.

“Alright, I’ve narrowed it down to three likely spots where we’ll find the parts. We can be down and out in half the time.” Pidge says, bounding off their chair and out the door with Hunk following closely after waving goodbye to the others.

“I’ll begin prepping the engines so we can leave the moment they get back.” Coran states, leaving the room to head down to the lower decks.

“Allura,” Keith begins, taking a step forward and not bothering to avoid Lance’s things. “You said we’d have to talk to our allies about this...what did you mean by that?” He asks, ignoring Lance’s screeching and yells for him to _‘get off my stuff!’_.

Allura shares a look with Shiro before turning to Keith.

“The only Galra on our side at the moment are Kolivan and the other Blades. They’ve infiltrated Zarkon’s Empire before, so they must have insider knowledge about this. I want to know how much they know.” Allura says, biting her lip and turning back to the front.

Allura’s faith and trust in the Blade is strong though still sometimes shaky. The other paladins know that she’s doing her best, and while she may trust Kolivan and a few Blades implicitly, she is still wary of the other members that she has not met personally. An alert suddenly flashes on the projection at the front of the room, signifying the recent ejection of an escape pod likely containing the yellow and green paladins.

“As soon as Hunk and Pidge return we will send a transmission to Kolivan and have him meet us in the Rikonian system- then we can find out more about this situation.” Allura says, staring at the projection of Hunk and Pidge’s ship breaking  through the atmosphere of the planet.

XxX

The moment  the pod containing the two remaining paladins flew through the hatch, Allura started a wormhole jump, having already sent a quick message to Kolivan, requesting to meet.

Both Keith and Shiro were seated at their stations while Lance retreated to his room to begin either storing away his stuff like a chipmunk preparing for winter or actually hang up the... _things_ he traded hair, literal fucking _hair_ for. Now Keith may not be the most cosmopolitan chic but he does like to think he knows when things have value. So he had no idea what sort of use Lance’s (as in Lance McClain, as in Blue Paladin of Voltron, as in the teammate Keith _constantly_ butted head with) hair could _possibly_ have. Was that creepy stall owner going to sell it to the highest bidder or something?? Because Keith seriously doubted the thirst could be that  desperate.

The lurching of the castle exiting the wormhole brought all the occupants of the room’s attention to the front where the scanners alerted of a vessel anchoring itself to the gravity of a nearby uninhabited gas planet. Allura steadily drove the castle forward, before allowing the natural pull of the planet to hook onto the ship.

“Alright, we should receive a boarding request soon, so while I wait for it the two of you get Lance and head down to the hanger to greet Kolivan and other Blades.” Allura requests as she straightens up and begins opening the ship’s communications.

Keith makes an affirmative sound while Shiro voices his understanding before turning and following Keith as he speed walks down the hall to bang loudly on Lance’s door, not even checking to see if the blue eyed boy would emerge from his room before continuing forward.

Keith is on edge. And he doesn’t know _why_ . IT’s like something, some subconscious emotions are reacting to what’s going on. Keith has never been very  good at dealing with his emotions, sometimes he just couldn’t...control them. They were wild and unpredictable, like him. But still, feeling so strongly over the situation just didn’t make _sense_ . Because it all simply boiled down to the question of- did he care for Lance?...The answer was yes. _Of course_ he cared for Lance. As irritating as Lance could be and as angry as he made Keith, Lance was still his teammate, Lance was still Keith’s _friend_.

Keith never had very many of those.

So he wanted to keep the ones he did have close. But damn if Lance didn’t make that difficult.

XxX

Keith and Shiro arrive to the hanger just as the ship holding the Blades touches down noiselessly. Keith waits, anticipation curling in his stomach as he sees the front of the ship slide open, it’s purple lights dimming as it reveals Kolivan standing in all his towering glory. For all of Keith’s supposed Galra genes, he just _had_ to miss out on the height aspect didn’t he?

Kolivan strides forward, his gaze familiar and unhostile though still off putting by the sternness of his face.

“We received your alert and came as quickly as we could, what appears to be the problem?” He asks, his voice calm and straightforward.

Keith glances and Shiro, who returns the look. Keith’s not gunna say. Shiro can say it. Because Keith’s not gunna say it.

Shiro must get the message because he purses his lips and turns to face Kolivan, purposely bumping Keith’s shoulder with his stupidly muscled shoulder because Shiro’s an infant and Keith had to pick up his petty from somewhere.

“Are you familiar with a planet called Atie?” Shiro asks, his face looking far too probing. Shiro’s a horrible detective and Keith blames it on the fact that he didn’t watch enough _‘True Crime’_ as a child.

“The trader’s planet? Yes. I have heard and even visited it on a occasion while leading a supply run. Why?” Kolivan asks, his eyes not giving away much in terms of emotion.

“We went planetside to look for some parts to fix a damaged area of the castle ship and we came across something….unusual.” Shiro says slowly, looking like he’s still trying to work out what to say. “And we were hoping...maybe you had some information on it.” Shiro finishes, brows furrowed in contemplation.

Kolivan washes his gaze over both Keith and Shiro, his inquisitive eyes attempting to figure out the situation without being told.

“What do you mean by ‘unusual’?” He asks slowly. Shiro breathes in through his nose and opens his mouth to speak, but his face is still so unsure that Keith decides to just cut to the chase.

“We found a vender that was selling a bunch of Lance paraphernalia and apparently Galra are the number one buyers, some of the stuff was from security cameras on board Galra vessels and we wanted to know how much you and the other Blades knew about this.” Keith says swiftly and cleanly. Shiro makes a slightly wheezing sound from beside him.

“Did you have to use the word ‘paraphernalia’?” He whisper hisses to Keith. Keith doesn’t know why. All the detectives on the crime and cold case shows he used to watch used it to refer to stuff that was probably illegal. And in Keith’s book all that stuff they saw would _definitely_ fall under that category.

Kolivan’s face doesn’t change in expression but his shoulders become tense and Keith immediately takes it as a sign of guilt (well in this case Kolivan wasn’t being accused of anything but Keith was in the zone and he wasn’t getting out of it anytime soon).

“You are referring to the prominence of the Blue Paladin, correct?” He asks. The three other Galra who have accompanied Kolivan are standing a few paces away but still close enough to hear to conversation. They’re all wearing their identity protecting masks so Keith can’t examine their expressions but does see them all shift uncomfortably at Kolivan’s words. Could that be...guilt?

“Keith stop trying to psychoanalyze them, we’ve talked about this.” Shiro whispers and moves Keith behind him to shield the other Blades from the Red Paladin’s gaze. “Kolivan, we just want to figure out what’s going on.” Shiro insits.

“Oh I’ll tell you what’s going on.” A husky voice coming from the entrance of the hanger says. They all turn to see a grinning Lance leaning casually against the wall with one of his arms bent over his head and back arched off the wall looking too much like he was trying to model some 1940s starlet. “The Universe is finally gaining some culture, that’s what’s going on.” Lance says and then winks at the gathered Blades before blowing them a kiss. Keith feels ire begin to rise at the sight, but he doesn’t know _why_. So he does the only thing he’s good at. He reacts.

“And _you’re_ supposed to be the pinnacle of culture?” Keith snarks.

“Hey!” Lance immediately protests, pushing off the wall and turning to glare at Keith with his hands on his hips. “I’ll have you know I’m the most cultured person on the ship! Whenever I eat sandwiches, I cut the crust off like all the fancy ladies drinking tea in those old people films!” Lance huffs like he made some devastating point. Keith isn’t sure if Lance is just being...himself or if he genuinely believes he’s somehow won the argument.

But if one spent too long trying to figure out the inner workings of Lance McClain’s mind they’d go insane. So Keith decided to just let it go and let Lance think he won, like he always does.

Before Keith has a chance to say anything else Hunk and Pidge come tumbling, followed by Allura who comes along at a much more sedate pace.

“Sorry we’re late.” Hunk apologizes, lifting Pidge up by their arms and settling them down by Shiro before petting them softly on the head. “We would’ve come in sooner but the parts we found on Atie took a little longer to install.” He says and smiles as Lance tucks himself into his side.

“Miiiiisssseeed yooouuuu.” Lance croons. Hunk grins and claps his hand down on Lance’s head.

“Me too buddy.” Hunk replies. Keith doesn’t think he’s ever even seen _married_ couples that are as close as Hunk and Lance are.

“I’d like to thank you for being able to meet with us so quickly.” Allura says as she side steps the paladins to greet Kolivan, her smile is welcoming but Keith can tell by the furrow in her brow that she’s anxious to start the conversation. “I suppose Shiro has briefed you on what we wish to discuss.” She begins, her eyes flickering to Lance who is tugging on the hanging strands of Hunk’s headband.

“Yes.” Kolivan replies, nodding slightly. “We have been aware of the Blue Paladin’s...popularity for quite some time. But we had assumed you had already been aware.”

Allura’s expression tightens and she shares a look with Shiro.

“Do you know how all this began?”Shiro asks.

Kolivan turns to the Blades standing behind him, Keith assumes some subtle signaling must’ve been happening because Kolivan turns back to face them with a blank expression.

“The first reports came back from undercover agents within the Empire. They weren’t high ranking officers, merely foot soldiers and medical staff that were placed to guard posts around the Empire and maintain prisons. It was assumed to be a passing fancy, a few officers that had been in charge of monitors had recordings of the Voltron Paladins come into their possession for video and information analysis. The Blue Paladin had apparently displayed archaic Galra mating calls and caught the attention of quite a few soldiers.” Kolivan began.

The hanger is silent.

Dead silent.

“Mating...calls?” Allura began, brows furrowed in confusion. “I recall as a child that the courtship between Galra was often a very public display, but you cannot possibly mean that _Lance_ has put out signals implying his...availability.” She says incredulously.

“I don’t know, that does sound like Lance.” Pidge murmurs.

“Well it has to be some sort of misunderstanding.” Shiro insists. “What sort of mating call was it?” Shiro asks.

Kolivan’s eyes widen in surprise before falling into a frown and looking at each one of the paladins.

“Are displays not common in your culture?” He asks. Slowly each one of the paladins shook their heads, because sure humans did do things like make pick-up lines (Lance), dance (Lance), flirt (Lance), and do other things (Lance). But there weren’t any singular Universal signs that said ‘please date me.’ Though Keith is sure that if anyone could figure it out, it’d be Lance.

“The Blue Paladin has done the display frequently enough and has done so without being directed at any specific person, which demonstrates approachability to all interested parties.” Kolivan informs them. “It is a call of loneliness and is simply an arrangement of one's hands.” Kolivan says before lifting both hands with all fingers up, letting his thumbs touch, followed by his other fingers curling together to form a-

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Keith asks, borderline exasperated. Because Kolivan’s hands, have come together to form a _mother-fucking_ heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in other news i am a firm believer in keith reading and watching prime crime tv-mostly cuz thats what i did as a wee lass
> 
> we get more details next time as well as some flashbacks to lance inadvertently propositioning some blades becuz u bet your ass he did  
> XxX
> 
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	4. got them apple bottom jeannns and the boots wit the furrr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kolivan reveals lance's...flirtations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit ive never gotten so much writing done so quickly, two of my roommates went home for the weekend and the other two went to some party to get fucked up hours ago so ive got the whole dorm to myself and honestly- most productive five hours of my life.

To be clear- it’s not like having a bunch of Blades onboard the castleship was _weird_ , or _unnerving_ . After all the Blade of Marmora _was_ , Voltron’s first ally and inadvertently the ones who set up Voltron’s return in the first place. So it’s not like distrust was even a thought that appeared in the heads of _any_ of the paladins.

But after hearing about the infatuation that the Empire-Galra seem to have with Lance, _their Lance_ , it’s not like anyone could really blame them for closing ranks around the blue eyed boy.

Kolivan immediately notices the shifting positions around the pouting paladin, who has begun eyeing one of his Blades with a sultry smile. He’s not sure if they’re trying to protect the Blue paladin or his nervously shifting comrade. And he’s not sure he _wants_ to know.

Allura clears her throat and proceeds to ignore the huddled group of paladins, instead focusing her attention on Kolivan who has lowered his hands to rest by his sides.

“Kolivan,” she begins slowly as if working through her thoughts, “,you believe that this...infatuation is a result of Lance unknowingly flashing displays while there were Galra in his presence?” She asks somewhat incredulously, her eyes flickering between looking at Lance and looking at Kolivan.

Kolivan can understand her disbelief. He himself had been struck silent for a few doboshes after being sent the security footage by one of his undercover operatives. It was ,after all, rather _risqué_ . While Galra courting rituals and displays were often public, they were normally reserved for a _particular_ person. The Blue Paladin had used a call that hadn’t been in popular use for numerous decafeebs, and in addition had simply...issued it out. The presentation was an open call, an expression of loneliness and desire- a desire to be made _whole_. It’s a call that would appeal to any Galra.

“As unintentional as the Blue Paladin’s actions may have been it does not change the fact that they exist and are now widespread.” Kolivan replies, his eyes landing on the Blue Paladin who looked far too satisfied with himself. Kolivan narrowed his eyes a bit on the brightly smiling and rosy cheeked human. Kolivan is Galra himself and his instincts instantly recognized the appeal that several of his kind have become enthralled by, but first and foremost- Kolivan and his kin are Blades of Marmora.

“Princess Allura,” Kolivan begins, catching the Altean’s attention, “you have made it clear that you were unaware of the...situation.” Kolivan says, unsure of how to phrase the current predicament they now seemed to have. The Princess nods her head in agreement, her eyes drifting towards the Blue Paladin who was nudging the Black Paladin from behind and appeared to be raising complaint about his protected position.

Kolivan breathes in slowly through his nose and straightens his back. The nervous shifting of his companions standing behind him did not go unnoticed by him- they too have been painfully aware of the Blue one’s allure for quite some time. Galra are ,after all, creatures of instinct- oftentimes they react before they assess. And had they not all been fighting a 10,000 year old war, Kolivan would be the first to bless his comrades and their pursuit of the enticing paladin. But they _are_ fighting a 10,000 year old war. And Kolivan if there’s one thing that Kolivan can not afford to have- it’s distracted soldiers.

“I would like to make a direct request to the Blue Paladin, by your leave Princess.” Kolivan voices, drawing the eyes of everyone in the room to him. Kolivan could feel the air instantly becomes tense with anticipation, the Paladins _and_ his Blades all leaning forward unknowingly as the Princess nodded her permission. Kolivan turned his eyes to the Blue Paladin who had tilted his head like a confused cub and was watching Kolivan with an eager curiosity.

“Please refrain from seducing my Blades any further.” Kolivan says, somewhat tiredly. The Blue Paladin’s eyes widen in surprise as the hanger falls into a crisp silence. It was immediately broken by the Yellow Paladin ,apparently, choking on the air in his lungs. The Green Paladin proceeds to attach themselves to the arm of the Blue one and begin screeching like a newly born kit, the Red Paladin’s face creases in anger and turns the same shade as his armor, and the Black Paladin looks to the ceiling as if it holds the cosmic answers of the Universe.

Kolivan supposes he could have phrased his words more delicately.

“Might...might you please...elaborate?” The stunned Princess says slowly, as if still processing Kolivan’s words. Kolivan rolls the request over in his head and turns his head to look at the Blades standing behind him. All of their stances have instantly become tense, and Kolivan can smell their desire to crawl back into the ship and fly as far away from the Castleship as possible.

“The Blue Paladin has had a tendency to…,” how should he phrase it? “To...proposition...my comrades.” Kolivan says, attempting to voice his statement as gently as possible.

It doesn’t seem to work.

The Red Paladin instantly rounds on the Blue one.

“Lance!” He hisses. His eyebrows creased in annoyance and teeth bared in what would normally be perceived as a threat but appears to be more of a habit for the halfling.

“I didn’t do anything!” The Blue paladin instantly protests, turning to face the Red Paladin with the Green Paladin still glued to his side. “I for one _like_ to remember my canoodling! And even if you don’t believe me _I_ am 100% professional.” He huffs and crosses his arms as if assured of his reply

The Red Paladin doesn’t appear to believe his words.

“Just a few minutes ago your were blowing kisses to Kolivan and his team.” He replies, unimpressed.

The Blue Paladin is not deterred and shrugs uncaringly.

“Kisses of friendship.” He defends and proceeds to rest a hand against his cheek in an almost bored fashion.

The Red Paladin sighs in exasperation, putting his face in his hands in a frustrated manner.

“Kolivan.” Princess Allura calls out, bringing his attention back to her as the Black Paladin attempts to soothe the temper of the Red Paladin.

“Might you give an example of Lance’s behavior? We’d like to know so as to remediate any conduct.” She requests.

Kolivan begins to reply just as the Blue Paladin indignantly restates that he _‘didn’t do anything, Allura!’_

XxX

Kolivan recalls how ashen Antok had appeared when he arrived to the control room directly after the Princess and her Advisor had finished filling Kolivan in on Voltron’s progress thus far. Kolivan felt a flicker of concern for his longtime friend and right-hand. Unlike him, Antok had always been far more expressive with his emotions, giving into whims and impulses easily- so much so that Kolivan always had to be the one to get them out of trouble whenever Antok pushed an older cub too far when they were just small, mewling kits.

“Friend, are you in distress?” Kolivan asked lowly as the Black Paladin entered and began relaying to the Princess what occurred on the Blade of Marmora base when the Red Lion attacked.

Antok clenched his fists by his side and appeared to be struggling to communicate what was plaguing him. Kolivan’s concern grew and he rested a heavy hand on his friend’s shoulder. Antok took a shaky breath before responding.

“The Blue Paladin is...the Blue Paladin is...nesting.” Antok said softly, almost disbelievingly. Kolivan felt his eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Nesting?” Kolivan asked in astonishment. Antok nodded slowly, as if in a trance. Kolivan momentarily worried that the Blue Paladin was some sort of enchanter for having gripped the attention of Antok so firmly before dismissing the thought. Of course Antok and Kolivan were both aware of the Blue Paladin and his...loneliness- they had been together when the undercover operative had sent them the recording (which was apparently being passed all around in the Galra Empire’s low and high command).

“Kolivan!”

Kolivan turned at the call of his name, his eyes making contact with those of the Black Paladin who was turned to exit the main deck.

“I’d like you to meet the rest of the team.” He voiced, waiting for the two of them by the door. Kolivan motioned for Antok to follow as the Black Paladin led them down the hall and past a few corridors before stopping in front of a control panel to open a closed door.

“Lance and Hunk usually spend their free time in the common area.” The Black Paladin informs them, offering a nervous smile as the doors soundlessly slid open. Kolivan takes only a single step forward before freezing in place.

In front of him is a widely tented area, dark blankets are thrown over the furniture and stretched out to form barriers and provide privacy. Glowing cord hands from the ceiling and acts as support for what look like bedsheets and an opening to the area is guarded by spongy cushions. It forms a triangular hideaway that is seemingly built for comfort.

It’s a nest.

A nest is lying directly in front of Kolivan.

Kolivan feels his pulse begin to race because this is someone’s _nest_ . Someone has placed a lot of time and effort into creating a shelter for their mate and it is lying in front of Kolivan as if it _belongs_ there.

A head pops out of the nest, fluffed up hair catching on the blankets as blue eyes gaze upon the three new occupants of the room.

Kolivan instantly feels shame fill him because he has just stumbled so carelessly upon someone's _nest_ and _oh stars now he must leave, but first he must apologize!_

“Hey!” The Blue Paladin loudly greets, a large grin forming on his face as he crawls out his nest. _Stars, his_ **_nest_ ** _!_

The Blue Paladin stands, brushing himself off and bouncing up the few steps to stand in front of Kolivan.

“Lance,” the Black Paladin begins, speaking so casually when they’re standing in the same room as a nest that does _not belong to them_. “This is Kolivan and Antok, they’re the Blade of Marmora members that Keith and I brought back with us.” He explains motioning to the two Galra.

The Blue Paladin’s eyes instantly latch onto Kolivan and takes a step forward.

Kolivan resists the urge to take a step back.

The Blue Paladin stares up at Kolivan, his eyes glittering as they search his face. A smile suddenly makes it’s way onto the Paladin’s lips.

“So you guys are the ones that beat up Keith?” He asks, eyes sharp even as he has his head tilted in question.

“ _Lance_.” The Black Paladin says, stressing the name like a sire scolding their cub.

The Blue Paladin lifts both hands up, palms open as if proclaiming his innocence.

“I was just asking, nothing wrong with just asking.” He replies before going back down the steps behind him and stopping in front of his nest.

“Soooooooo,” the Blue Paladins says, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Wanna come in?” He asks innocently, holding back a blanket that covers the entrance.

Kolivan swears he felt his soul leave his body in that moment.

“ _Lance_.” The Black Paladin says, raising an unimpressed brow. Kolivan is silently wondering why he’s not reacting to the Blue Paladin’s advances.

The Blue Paladin pouts and lets his hand fall back down to his side before huffing and crossing his arms.

“I was just being a good host.” He defends.

Kolivan idly wonders how he treats his mate if this is how he treats his _guests_.

“Besides,” The Blue Paladin continues, “everyone loves blanket forts! And I worked extra hard on mine!” He complains just as another body rolls out of the nest.

Kolivan feels his heart stop.

Because…

Not _only_ have they entered the space of a nest... they’ve entered the space of an _occupied_ nest.

Kolivan shivers as feels the phantom claws of his dam harshly scolding him after he and Antok accidentally stumbled upon another Galra and her mate building their nest.

“Hey are these those Marmora guys?” The human that Kolivan instantly recognized as the Yellow Paladin asked. Kolivan doesn’t trust his voice and instead nods. The Yellow Paladin grins brightly, holding out his hand.

Kolivan decides to not wonder why neither the Yellow or Blue Paladins are currently attempting to kill him, Antok, and the Black Paladin for entering space surrounding the nest belonging to them and instead reaches out to “shake” the Yellow Paladin’s hand, just as the Black Paladin had taught them.

The Yellow and Blue Paladins are both still smiling as the Black Paladin leads them out of them room and towards the medical bay where the Green and Red Paladin are residing as the Red Paladin heals from his injuries received during his trials.

Kolivan is tense as the Black Paladin speaks a few paces in front of he and Antok.

Antok leans over to speak in a low voice.

“I was in the room as the Blue Paladin began to construct the nest.” He whispers hoarsely. Kolivan sucks in a sharp breath.

“He asked if I wanted to _help_ him. _Help him,_ Kolivan!” Antok hisses, slightly distressed. Kolivan purses his lips together. It appears the Blue Paladin is quite...forward. He hadn’t even known Antok a few doboshes and _already_ he was proposing to mate with him.

“Perhaps it is...just the way his species behaves.” Kolivan said slowly, still working through the events just occurred.

“I don’t believe it.” Antok replies, shaking his head. “None of the other paladins nor the Alteans have been as...forthright with their affections. _If_ they have any at all!” Antok says crossing his arms across his chest...just as Kolivan had seen the Blue Paladin do.

Kolivan’s back straightens and he shoots Antok a look out of the corner of his eye.

“Antok.” Kolivan says, a careful tone that bordered on warning. Antok lowered his arms instantly.

“...I didn't _do_ anything with him Kolivan.” Antok says, huffing like a disgruntled cub, his tail curling up just as it always does when he’s annoyed.

Kolivan raises a brow and keeps his eyes straight ahead and on the Black Paladin.

“I expect you were far too surprised to receive an offer to mate in order to _do_ anything.” Kolivan points out. Antok remains silent but also doesn’t deny it.

Kolivan feels a wave of exhaustion rush over him and runs a hand down and his braid, hoping the texture would relieve him.

“You cannot mate with him if he offers again.” Kolivan says softly. Antok does not reply. “You know the rules just as I do, you may mate and bond with another member of the Blade but never with an outsider.”

“...The halfling’s dam was a Blade- _she_ mated with an outsider.” Antok points out softly. Kolivan knows he’s just grasping at wind now.

“We also don’t know who she was, for all we know she was just a newly initiated member that had not been informed.” Kolivan replies just as they arrive to the doors of the medical bay, which slide open to reveal the Red Paladin still within the pod and the Green Paladin typing away at a tablet.

“Besides,” Kolivan whispers as they step into the room, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “there are plenty of suns in the Universe.”

“Perhaps.” Antok mumbles, before starting forward and turning to look at Kolivan with a genuine expression. “But there are none like him.”

XxX

The room is filled with disbelief upon Kolivan completing his memory.

“Did you seriously propose to Antok, Kolivan, _and_ Shiro?” The Yellow Paladin asked curiously, turning to the frozen Blue Paladin. The Green Paladin pipes up from where they are resting with the Blue Paladin's arm wrapped around their shoulders.

“Technically Lance asked to ‘mate’ with them, so he was actually asking if they’d be his booty calls.” They reply as they lifted the Blue Paladin's hand to flop down on their head, where it immediately began running through the Green Paladin's hair as if on instinct.

The Blue Paladin begins sputtering as if having suffered through a delayed reaction and pushes their hand down on the Green Paladin's head, forcing them to slouch over.

“I didn’t know that offering to let people into my blanket fort was the alien equivalent of asking someone if they wanted to hook up!” He exclaimed. Kolivan notes that the Blue Paladin's face has begun to flush a reddish color and assumes it must be a sign of his embarrassment.

“Well if it makes you feel any better- since Hunk was already in there they probably thought he was getting into _your_ blanket fort too.” The Green Paladin wheezes out as a grin begins tugging at their lips. The Blue Paladin gapes and lets his arm flop down as The Black Paladin shrieks _‘Pidge’_ with a scandalized expression.

“Who _raised_ you?” The Blue Paladin asks incredulously down at the Green Paladin who shrugs uncaringly, latching onto the other side of the Blue Paladin.

Kolivan listens to the four paladins get into a fierce debate over who is responsible for the Green Paladin’s confusing commentary before switching his attention to the Red Paladin, who is staring ahead with blank eyes. Kolivan assumes he is suffering some form of depersonalization but the theory is combatted when he sees the Red Paladin's shaking fists. Kolivan feels a small inkling of amusement begin to form because no- the cub is not in shock, he’s _envious_.

The sharp sound of clapping draws Kolivan’s attention back towards the Princess who is standing with a slightly astonished expression. The action appeared to be for the purpose of garnering the attention of the Paladins more than Kolivan’s. Kolivan supposed it must be another one of their species’ peculiar rituals.

“Thank you…,” The Princess begins unsteadily, “I will take measures to ensure that Lance does not place you into... that position again.” She finishes hesitantly, expression going from confused, to embarrassed, to shocked, before returning to confused.

“Are there any other...things?” She asks unsurely. Kolivan raises a brow and nods, watching as the Princesses’ face flushed in embarrassment before she closed her eyes and cleared her throat, waving her hand and signaling Kolivan to continue.

XxX

Kolivan and another young Blade were marching side by side down the hall to the control room to deliver the Princess a message from another outpost. A door slid open ahead of them, revealing the Blue Paladin stepping out. His head turned in their direction, his eyes setting on them before a grin and wave were thrown in their direction. Kolivan has long since learnt that the hand motion is a form of silent-human greeting and returns the motion, watching out of the corner of his eye as the subordinate by his side smoothly copied his movement.

The Blue Paladin jogs beside Kolivan as he accompanies them to the control room, babbling inanely as he usually does when he seeks the companionship of another Blade. Kolivan believes it must be a quirk specific to the Blue Paladin, a desire known only to him to fill the atmosphere with sound as his fellow comrades do not appear to share the same inclinations.

The group of three arrive to main deck where the Princess is standing, dressed for war, and listening to her advisor as they stand surrounded by a map of Zarkon’s Empire.

“Princess Allura,” Kolivan calls out, catching her attention, “A fellow Blade comes bearing a message from the Rhyterian System.” Kolivan announces before turning and allowing the Blade to brush past him in order to approach the Altean Princess. Kolivan stands back, listening silently as the Blade delivers information of Galra fleets being spotted in growing numbers.

Kolivan’s attention is focused solely on the Princess and the young Blade, but his reflexes are still sharp enough to catch movement coming towards his head out of the corner of his eye. He turns swiftly and grabs the wrist of the Blue Paladin, who had his fingers outstretched and reaching for Kolivan. The Blue Paladin’s eyes widen in surprise and Kolivan decides to allow the Paladin to explain himself. He does so immediately. Face flushing, and mouth falling open in babbled, half-coherent apologies.

“Oh gosh, oh gosh, I’m so _sorry_ !” He exclaims, backing up, and Kolivan allows his small human wrist to fall out of his grasp. “I am _so so sorry_! I should’ve asked permission first!” He exclaims, face plagued with creased brows and grimaces of humiliation. Kolivan tries to sooth the human as he continues to talk on.

“You have done no harm.” Kolivan assures him as the Blue Paladin nods, listening to the older Galra. “However, I _am_ interested in what you _were_ trying to do.” Kolivan says, feeling far too much like he was chiding a particularly unruly cub during training. The Blue Paladin looks down to his feet and mumbles out a response.

“Your...your braid is messy and I...I wanted to fix it.”

Kolivan’s eyes widen in surprise.

The Blue Paladin had been attempting to...groom him?

Kolivan’s silence must come across as discouraging as the Blue Paladin awkwardly laughs and apologizes again, moving to leave.

“Very well.” Kolivan replies, his words stopping the Blue Paladin in his tracks. Kolivan watches as the stunned expression shifts to excited and the Blue Paladin grasps his hand, pulling him toward his control station and climbing up on his station’s seating. Kolivan stands stiffly as the Blue Paladin unties his braid, running his thin fingers through the white locks. Kolivan almost tenses when the Blue Paladin’s nails lightly scratch the ridges running down the center of his head and back. Swiftly, the Blue paladin separated the hair into three pieces and begins efficiently weaving them together into a tightened braid. Kolivan feels him tie off the end and pauses for a moment as the Blue Paladin slowly rubs the braid between his fingers. Suddenly, the Blue paladin jumps down and lands beside Kolivan, looking up at him with a strangely nostalgic expression.

“Thanks.” He says quietly, his eyes wet. “I used to help my older sister do her hair everyday before school and it just...yeah.” He says trailing off softly.

“You miss your littermates.” Kolivan says, sympathetically. He had been born alone, as had Antok, it had been what had brought them together when the other Galra kits had congregated to play amongst their own little herds.

“We call em ‘siblings’ back on Earth but...yeah. Yeah I do.” The Blue Paladin says softly. Kolivan feels a stab of pity and slowly pats the Blue Paladin on the head, just as he does for all the cubs when he wants them to know they’ve done good.

Kolivan’s eyes drift over to the Princess and sees that the young Blade is just about finished reporting. Kolivan nods a final time to the Blue Paladin and waits for the Blade to finish before turning and accompanying his comrade back to his ship. The walk is silent but Kolivan can feel the eyes of his comrade burning a hole in the side of his face.

The two slow to a stop and the younger Galra is just about to climb into the pilot’s seat before he freezes and turns to look back at Kolivan.

“Do you have a concern young one?” Kolivan asks, his tone inquisitive. The Blade hesitates for a moment, their hands faltering before straightening their shoulders in determination.

“Is the Blue Paladin attempting to court you?” They ask, curiosity flooding through their question. Kolivan raises a brow, slightly in amusement.

“No. I believe that he was simply reminiscing of when he and his littermates used to groom one another.” Kolivan replies and resists the urge to shake his head when the Blade sags in obvious relief. Kolivan silently watches as the Galra climbs into their seat and activates their pod before flying out of the hanger doors.

Kolivan could understand the confusion that plagued the young one. Grooming was reserved for only two groups- littermates and courting groups. As Kolivan was not the former, the clear assumption would have been that the Blue Paladin was attempting to charm him.

Kolivan breathed slowly through his nose and recalled the feeling of the Blue Paladin lacing his hair together in a smooth braid. Grooming was not an experience that Kolivan was familiar with, but the experience, as innocent as it was, _truly_ was pleasant.  

Kolivan turned on his heel and began marching back in the direction of the main deck, intending to hear what information the Blade had relayed to the Princess and resisting the urge to touch his newly plaited hair.

XxX

“Are you serious right now?” The Red Paladin asks incredulously, his outburst not surprising Kolivan. The tension building up in the cub could be smelt from all over the hanger.

“What so like I can’t offer to fix someone’s ‘do’ anymore?” The Blue Paladin asks, confusion shining through his face.

“I mean you gotta admit that just straight up touching someone’s hair is kinda weird, right?” The Green Paladin replies, resting their head against the chest of the Blue Paladin.

“I _did_ ask permission.” The Blue Paladin huffs.

“Yeah, after you tried to touch his hair like a creeper.” The Green Paladin shoots back and screeches when the Blue Paladin lifts a hand and flicks their forehead.

“Oh don’t exaggerate Pidge I _barely_ touched you.” The Blue Paladin rolls his eyes. The Yellow Paladin sidles up to the Blue Paladin’s other side.

“You can fix _my_ hair whenever you want.” He offers, wrapping his arms around the Blue Paladin’s waist and squeezing. The Blue Paladin smiles happily and nuzzles his face against the Yellow Paladin.

“Thanks bud, you’re a true friend.” He replies. The Green Paladin huffs on the Blue’s other side in clear offense.

“Is there anything else?” The Black Paladin asks, grimacing and looking as though he was decades older than his youthful face suggested.

Kolivan opens to respond when the Red Paladin speaks up in protests.

“Enough! Alright enough! We get it! Lance does _stuff_ and it means _other stuff_ to other people! We get it!” The Red Paladin grits out, running his fingers through his thick black mane.

“I was simply going to suggest the Blue Paladin avoid offering Galra foods he may have procured from a hunt.” Kolivan says, raising a brow at the vexed cub.

“You mean ‘hunt’ like…?” The Yellow Paladin asks, their question left open.

“Fresh kills.” Kolivan responds. The Blue Paladin’s face immediately scrunches up in distaste.

“Okay, yeah, nope. You got nothing to worry about.” He says shivering slightly. “Nope, nope, nope. No fresh kills here, nu-uh.” He says as he shakes head.

The Green Paladin raises a brow from where they’re standing beside him.

“Don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?” They ask.

“I am in fact being the _perfect_ amount of dramatic. I’ll also have you know that I’m a vegetarian.” The Blue Paladin responds pointing to himself. The Green Paladin's nose scrunches up in thought.

“No you’re not.” They reply, squinting up at the Blue Paladin. The Blue Paladin’s shoulders slump and he shrugs.

“You’re right I’m not but I _was_ one for like... two months.”

“And then?” The Green Paladin asks, quirking a brow.

“And then my sister Marcie ordered a pizza with sausage, pepperoni, and olives and I realized I was a weak man.” The Blue Paladin replies sagely. The Yellow Paladin and Blue Paladin both simultaneously begin to whine about ‘pizza’ and ignore the Green Paladin who is pawing at the Blue Paladin like a kit demanding attention.

“Kolivan.” The Princess calls out to him. Kolivan turns his body to face the Altean monarch, their expression open as they approach Kolivan. “Thank You.” She says, grasping Kolivan’s hands tightly. “Your counsel has been most appreciated and I apologize for any trouble this may have caused you.”

Kolivan briefly thinks back to the residence halls back on the main base, recalling the vast collection of merchandise several Blades had been discovered holding during a room safety inspection following the Red Lion’s attack and decides not to mention it.

Kolivan nods and returns his own gratitude for the Princess having hosted them on her ship before turning with his (disappointed) Blades to their ship. Kolivan makes his way to the pilot's seat and waits for his companions to settle in before activating the ship’s boosters, flying out of the hanger doors, and back to the outpost he was currently stationed at.  

The ride is a tense silence and Kolivan is tempted to let it remain, but the sadness he can smell from the young Galra outweigh his decision.

“The rules set by our predecessors exist for our own protection.” Kolivan says lowly. The Blade besides him sinks lower in his seat. “But there are no rules against admiration.” Kolivan adds, resisting the urge to shake his head and smile in amusement as his three companions immediately bumped back from their former melancholy.

Cubs.

Always so dramatic.

XxX

“So...that happened.” Pidge said, breaking the silence of the common room. The five paladins had all moved to the shared living area once Kolivan had departed with his team.

“I mean we all suffer from misunderstandings.” Lance shrugged, looking completely unconcerned. “For example: The first eight weeks I knew Hunk?  I thought we were dating.”

Hunk nodded from beside him on the couch, which had once been part of Lance’s ‘nest’.

“When I told him we weren’t, he was devastated. He even missed four days of the First Grade because he was so heartbroken.” He added.

“But he won me back,” Lance said grinning brightly and falling back into Hunk’s lap. “He brought me cookies and a flower from his mom’s garden and it was like falling in love _all over_ again.” Lance swooned as Hunk smiled down at him, probably used to his eccentricities. Keith was frowning in his seat across from the two.

“Am I the only one who thinks we should, I don’t know- _do_ something about this?” He gripes, looking toward Shiro as though expecting him to back him up.

“I don’t see why we should.” Lance replies, folding his hands behind his head on Hunk’s lap and closing his eyes.

“Kolivan cleared this up on his end and the most the Empire Galra have done is buy posters of _yours truly_ so I don’t see what you’re getting worked up for.” Lance replied, waving an uncaring hand in Keith’s direction.

“It’s a security risk-!”

“Security risk- schmacurity risk!” Lance said, sitting up to frown at Keith. “Don’t get your pants in a knot just because you don’t like that people _like_ me, which honestly? Is expected. I mean have you _met_ me?”

“Unfortunately.” Keith mutters, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Lance gasps in offense and begins slinging his own insults, beginning an argument as a tired and exasperated Shiro works to soothe the tempers of the team’s two hot heads.

Paladins.

Always so exasperating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao lance's story is based on a true story- in the first grade a boy gave me a note telling me he liked me so i assumed we were dating. nope - 2 weeks later he was sending those notes to another girl and then little me learnt to never trust the words of a man  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	5. it's called hentai. and it's art.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the team discovers a galra ship with an...unusual passenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> daaammmn this is a whole lot longer than i thought it would be i was aiming for 5k but it turned into 7
> 
> also do y'all like my 'the office' reference took me like 6 hrs to decide on.

Alright so it was settled.

Evidently Lance had been making _“moves”_ on their Galra Allies and now he had to _“cut that shit out”_ to paraphrase Allura. But it totally wasn’t fair! Because Lance didn’t even _do_ anything that bad! I mean sure there were some miscommunications, some misinterpreted actions- but how was that Lance’s fault?! He can’t help it if people think he’s a total _snack_.

But now apparently Lance’s irresistible nature is the reason he’s being treated like a slightly destructive toddler that has to be watched at all times- which is again, unfair. Because if anyone’s the destructive toddler that has to be closely monitored it’s _Keith_. Boi’s had some serious issues ever since Kolivan told Lance to stop trying to fuck his friends.

The mullet haired boy had been a constant presence in Lance’s life (not that the other paladins haven’t) ever since the Blade had left the castleship a week ago. He was keeping an eye on Lance all hours of the day, even during Lance’s down time! Didn’t the Red Paladin have something better to do? Like attacking a threatening looking wall or traumatizing the gladiator simulations?

Lance missed it when Keith was too absorbed by _‘Keith World’_ to pay attention to him. When he was too enamored by a world where his mornings were met with a punch to the face and his afternoons were filled with jacking off to knife catalogues.

Lance telling Shiro as much was met with a blank look and a ten minute lecture about how he shouldn’t “reduce your teammates to such base characteristics! Jesus, Lance do you actually think that Keith would find release in pictures of knives?!”

And so Lance was stuck with a fingerless glove toting, crop top jacket wearing, 70s looking _douchebag_.

“I can hear you ya know.” A voice growled out from beside Lance. Lance slowly turned his head to look at  the other side of the couch where Keith was sitting slouched against the armrest with his legs spread in two different time zones. “You haven’t exactly been keeping your thoughts to yourself _genius_.”

Lance huffed in offense and turned back to the water pouch he had been sipping on a few minutes ago.

“Well maybe you wouldn’t have heard if you were off minding _your own_ business.” Lance spit out bitterly, before shoving the straw in his mouth and trying to hide his wince when the sharp edge of the plastic hit the sensitive roof of his mouth.

Keith released an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose in a silent sign of his steadily rising temper.

“I’m just keeping an eye on you as a favor to Shiro, he’s already got enough on his plate and doesn’t need to worry about _you_ endangering our alliances.” Keith said slowly, as if attempting to rein in his annoyance for Lance. Lance immediately scowled and rounded on Keith, squeezing his pouch a bit too tightly and letting some water spring out.

“I haven’t done _anything_ to endanger our alliances! And from what Kolivan told us it’s not like this whole thing is one-sided!” Lance exclaimed, crawling closer to Keith and jutting his nose sharply against the Red Paladin’s cheek.

Lance felt Keith’s cheek heat up in what he could only assume to be anger and then lift a hand to shove Lance’s face away, nearly forcing him to topple off the couch had Lance not wrapped his fingers around the lapel of Keith’s jacket.

“Let go!” Keith immediately demanded, wrapping a hand around Lance’s wrist and attempting to rip it off. Lance tightened his grip and used his hold on the slightly older boy to pull himself up into a standing position before backing up and dodging a swipe from him.

“You know _you’re_ really getting on my nerves.” Lance said tensely as Keith jumped up from the couch and began straightening his jacket, the redness of his face slowly dwindling back to his normal complexion.

“ _I’m_ getting on _your_ nerves?” Keith asked incredulously, his mouth gaping slightly.

“Yes.” Lance sniffed, shoving his fists into his pockets so that if Keith _does_ decide to hit him Lance can cry foul since his hands weren’t out to protect him.

“ _You’re_ the one who’s acting like a baby! You’re being all _‘wahhhh my teammates wanna make sure I don’t make the situation worse by hitting on valuable members of the Voltron Coalition!’_ ” Keith replied, mocking Lance’s voice and sounding too much like a crow choking on a worm.

Lance bristles in offence instantly.

“I’m not a baby! And you guys never had a problem with my charm before!” Lance fires back immediately, leaning his face in close to Keith’s and bumping their foreheads together. Keith goes cross-eyed, staring down his nose at Lance.

“Well _before_ we never knew that a bunch of Galra were mooning over you like a bunch of lovestruck preteens!” Keith responds, shoving his forehead harder against Lance and forcing Lance to pull back because _ow!_ Is Keith part Ram in addition to part Galra?

Lance pouts and lifts a hand to begin massaging the part of his abused forehead that Keith crashed against.

“Ohh is that why you’ve been acting like a total tool? Are you _jealous_?” Lance asks mockingly, trying to throw in one last swing at Keith. Keith’s shoulders immediately tense and Lance assumes he’s going to throw back his own indignant reply. But instead, Keith clears his throat and fixes the collar of his jacket to rest higher against his neck, which is glowing a flushed color that’s rising up to his cheeks.

Lance opens his mouth to point that out and hopefully score some mad comeback points when the castle’s alarm suddenly began ringing.

Both Lance and Keith immediately spring away from each other and look towards the door of the common room. Lance doesn’t even get the chance to take a step forward before Keith nearly drives into his side as he scrambles for the door. Lance takes a second to regain his footing before chasing after him.

The other Paladin isn’t even a few feet ahead of him but Lance is still irritated at the fact that he’s running _behind_ Keith. Now normally Lance wouldn’t be so petty. Being out in space and entrusting your life to your rival worked pretty well to wash away the more fiery competitive spirit that Lance used to have at the beginning of their adventure. But the last week has set Lance on edge.

Keith was treating him like he had _messed up_ somehow and now _Keith_ had to be the one to look after and make sure that ‘ _Little Lancy-Pants’_ didn’t make a mess of things again. Sure he understood if Shiro and Allura were a little paranoid over what they learned, the _whole team_ seemed pretty hung up on it. But Lance could take care of _himself_!

Hadn’t...hadn’t he already proved that to them?

Lance’s darkening thoughts were cut off immediately once he and Keith arrived at the main deck. It looked like they were the last ones considering that Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro were already seated at their stations and Coran and Allura were both standing at their respective positions. Without another look at each other Lance and Keith both rushed to their control panels, letting their dashboards sense their presence and manifest at their fingertips.

“What’s going on?” Keith demanded as his hands poised to activate his defense drone. The paladins had long since learnt that finding out what the situation was first and _then_ deciding what to do was usually the best choice. Because six times out of ten Voltron wasn’t even needed and the Castle’s built in defenses would work just fine to get them out of whatever hole they’d fallen into.

“The Castle’s long range scanners picked up the signature of a Galra ship anchored to the orbit of Plant Laudio’s moon.” Allura explains tensely, her eyes narrowed on the projectors at the front of the room.

Lance’s eyes were immediately drawn down to his own dashboard, information from the Castle’s radar summarized in front of him. It was _strange_ to say the least, the Rikonian System was pretty much a baby Galaxy. It had nearly no intelligent life, strong cosmic interference, and few habitable planets. It was hardly a place that the Galra Empire would see much value in, but it’s presence was none the less disturbing. Because…

“One of the Blade of Marmora’s outposts are located in this exact system. What are the odds that a lone Galra ship would be here too?” Hunk asks, brows creased in confusion.

“That is exactly what I'm concerned about.” Allura says steadily, her jaw tensing as she laid both her hands on her steering orbs.

After meeting with Kolivan, Allura had stationed the castleship in a sluggishly moving asteroid belt in order to ensure that the recently repaired thermoregulator wouldn’t disengage or become overheated by its abrupt installation. It was only supposed to be for _‘half a spicolian movement’_ according to Coran. Lance normally would’ve enjoyed the short break they got from Paladin duties (had Keith not been on his ass the entire time) but this new development put a stopper on those plans.

“Is it just a single ship?” Pidge asks, a frown curling at their lips.

“The castle’s only picked up one fuel signature so it seems that way.” Coran answered, his normally jovial tone missing. Lance frowned at the information because that was _way weird_ . Most battlecruisers didn’t go _anywhere_ without a few escorts ever since Voltron made it a habit of destroying each Galra ship they came across.

“What classification is it?” Shiro asked, sitting up from his position at the helm. “It’s too defenseless to be Battle and too small to be Cargo.”

Lance raised his head, looking towards the others to see what the response would be. If it was Cargo then they’d have to stage a rescue mission to free any prisoners on board and if it was Battle then they could just go straight in to destroy it.

“It’s...neither.” Pidge says, their confusion clear in their voice. “Like you said it’s too small and too defenseless to be any of the ships we’ve faced off before. It...actually looks more like….a passenger vessel?” Pidge adds, frowning as they sent an enlarged view of the ship to the front.

The cruiser was obviously of Galra design, the purple colored paneling of the ship nearly deep enough to blend into the natural darkness of the Universe. It was about the size of a scouting ship, if not a little bigger. Lance estimated it could hold about 3,000 personnel. But there were no slots to release fighters, no ion cannons, no hyper speed engines visible at _all_ . It looked like a normal...passenger ship. Alright _now_ Lance was worried.

“Who would be onboard a Galra Transporter?” Lance asks, looking around the room for help to see if anyone could make heads or tails of the situation. Both Hunk and Pidge were glancing towards each other worriedly, Keith was sitting with his shoulders tensed to the extreme and his hands hovering over his drone activation, and Shiro was standing up from his seat and looking up at the projection with furrowed brows.

“Allura?” Lance asks. The Altean Princess had her back ramrod straight as she observed the the Galra ship in front of them with a contemplative air.

“We’re too far away for their scanners to detect us...if they have scanners at all.” She murmurs, her eyes narrowing. “You may have to take your Lions and board the ship.” She finally says, bringing up a contact monitor. “Kolivan should still be at the Rikonian Base. I’ll inform him of the situation while you figure out what’s happening.” She announces, clearly ordering them to suit up.

Lance doesn’t hesitate, leaping up and moving towards his lift just as the other Paladins do. The doors in front of him silently slide closed and lower him to a narrow foyer where his armor is on display and protected behind a blue-glass tube. Lance mechanically removes his regular clothes, dropping them into a chute where they’ll be washed and slides on the tight black undersuit that clings to his body like a second skin before slipping on the blue and white protective plates. Lance quickly throws on his helmet after making sure the microphone was on and runs to his zipline, listening closely to see if his teammates were already in their pilot chairs or still in transport. One by one Lance hears them each release slight murmurs and grunts as they land in their speeders and ride up to their Lions.

Blue hums to life the second Lance grabs her steering staffs, purring softly as he leads her out of the hanger and enters formation beside Keith.

“So what’s the plan?” Lance asks, bringing up a video of each of his teammates on Blues’ control panel. Shiro’s eyes are focused in front of him as he answers.

“First the Green Lion is going to scan for any detection software that may be present on the ship and since there’s still a chance that the ship is armed we’ll have to enter through the belly.” He replies, his lips pursed in concentration as the five Lions follow his lead around Laudio’s moon. Blue swiftly activates her gravity anchor and floats steadily beside the other Lions as the Paladins await Pidge's results. Lance closely watches the reflection of graphs and Altean characters on Pidge's visor through their video connection and slowly draws patterns into his thighs with his fingers.

Pidge’s nose scrunches up whenever they’re concentrating which Lance personally finds _adorable_. He’s just about to mention it when Pidge’s eyes flicker up and meet his through their connection. Lance is slightly startled, jumping a bit in his seat and hoping that the others don’t notice his slip up.

“I’m not detecting any outgoing pulses of energy so I don’t believe that they have any advanced detection technology. Most likely they’ve only got the tech for detecting asteroid fields and other incoming objects so we should be able to slip onboard without them spotting us.” Pidge explains. Shiro nods in understanding before addressing them.

“Alright, the rest of us will stay back.” Shiro begins. “Pidge, since your Lion has stealth capabilities you’ll be able to go in undetected and open the bay doors for us so that we can all board.” Shiro instructs. Pidge’s eyes hardened, a determined expression sliding into place.

“Roger.” They reply before disconnecting their videochat and flying forward, following the orbit of the moon and disappearing underneath the protection of their invisibility cloak.

Lance mentally counts to thirty before Pidge’s voice crackles to life on his comms.

“I’m inside, their hatches have like no security so you guys should be clear to fly in.” Pidge relays. Lance grips Blue’s steering staffs and urges her forward, following the invisible orbital path to sling him forward.

The Galra ship comes into view immediately after Lance reaches the other side of the moon. The ship is clearly smaller than the big cargo ships and even _bigger_ battle cruisers that he’s used to. Lance can spot the Green Lion from where the bay doors are open near the end of the ship and flies Blue in steadily, making sure not to hit the walls of the entrance as he parks beside Green and jumps up to exit Blue.

Lance hops out of Blue’s mouth just as the others finish setting down their Lions and runs over to where Pidge is standing by a closed maintenance door. Lance stops beside them, watching curiously as they hook their gauntlet up to a security scanner.

“I don’t get it.” Lance hears Pidge murmur under their breath.

“Don’t get what?” Lance asks as he hears the footsteps of the other Paladins approach from behind.

“Usually when I break into a ship’s security network I have to get through at least _five_ protective measures. But this, _this_ barely even has _one_.” Pidge says, annoyance and confusion seeping into their words. Lance doesn’t get a chance to respond before the door in front of them click open, revealing a long hallway lined with a deep purple carpet. Lance raises a brow at the odd sight but starts forward anyway, following Shiro and Pidge as they lead the group through the hall.

Lance has been on _numerous_ Galra vessels, and they all have a pretty identical layout but this one….this one doesn’t look _anything_ like what he’s accustomed to.

“Guys I don’t have a good feeling about this.” Hunk murmurs as they stop beside another closed door. “This doesn’t look like a military ship to me it’s too... _lodge-looking._ ”

Lance can see where Hunk is coming from. Instead of the cold, stark-grey metal walls that normally line the corridors of a Galra ship, there’s a warm, black, velvet-like material pasted on instead. If Lance leans in closer he can see small designs carved into the walls that look similar to paisley. The floor is covered by purple carpeting and his steps make no sound as he moves down the hallways with the rest of the team as opposed to the hollow sounds his feet usually make when escaping or sneaking around a Galra ship.

“I agree with Hunk” Lance pipes up. “This is _sorta_ freaky.” He whispers, coming up beside Shiro’s shoulder and peeking up at him. Shiro bites his lip and frowns at the door in front of them.

“Okay.” He sighs, turning to face them and motioning for them to huddle closer to him. “We’re _all_ a bit lost, so when we enter the main body of the ship we’re going to have to split up. Pidge, you try and find a security office to get a map of this place. The rest of us will scout this place out, see if we can find sentries, Galra, or prisoners. Hunk, you’ll go right with me. Lance and Keith, the two of you will go left. If any of us get into trouble we are to return to the Lions _immediately_. Is that understood?” Shiro asks, his voice lowered but serious as he probes them all for a reaction. Lance can see the uncertainty in his leader’s eyes and decides to swallow back any protests he had and instead nods in agreement.

The door they’re in front of doesn’t even _need_ to be unlocked. The second Pidge takes another step closer, it _slides open_. It’s like those ‘Organism Detection’ doors they have back at the castle or the oftentimes broken automatic doors they have at Earth’s grocery stores.

With a nod to the other Paladins, Lance follows Keith as they both make their way down their assigned corridor. Lance can’t help but take in the sight around them. Glowing pink lights on the ceiling brighten the way for them and feel almost...cheery? That’s a word he _never_ thought he’d associate with the Galra Empire. But still, the ship they’re on has an inexplicable _fancy_ air about it. It reminds Lance of the nights he would spend in a hotel whenever his flight home was cancelled or when his seat was given away and he’d need to take a later plane.

The Garrison could apparently afford cool hotel rooms for their students and staff but _couldn’t_ afford to get them on planes that would actually _take_ them home whenever they would go on leave. Yeah Lance was still bitter about that. He missed his mom’s _birthday_ because of a cancelled flight. So the Galaxy Garrison’s Bursar Office could suck his-

“ _Duck_!” Keith suddenly hisses in front of him. Lance’s body reacts on instinct, cramming itself into a thin alcove by the corner of the hall just as a sentry rounds the corner. Lance barely even blinks before Keith has whipped out his sword and sliced the robot across the chest, leaving behind a pile of sparkling machinery.

“Nice.” Lance compliments before he can register what he’s saying. Keith’s face looks momentarily surprised before it’s washed away and he looks down at the de-torsoed sentry. Keith’s brows suddenly furrow in confusion and he kneels down beside the mechanical homicide like a detective examining a crime scene (a crime he _technically_ committed).

“Hey, check this out.” Keith murmurs. Lance crouches down beside the Red Paladin and frowns at what looks like _food_ splattered on the floor. Lance reaches out a finger and runs it through an orange crumb mixture that’s been _demolished_ by the floor and the sentry that landed on it. It looks like it _could’ve_ been a cake, but Lance has been in space for so long that he wouldn’t have been surprised if it was the alien equivalent of a _soup_.

“Poor cake-soup.” Lance says sadly as he wipes his hands clean on Keith’s armor. Keith looks completely befuddled by his words, enough so that he doesn’t notice Lance cleaning his dirty hand on his shoulder plates.

“Wha-? No!” Keith says, frowning. “I mean why would a _robot_ need food?” Keith asks, standing up and away from the mess. Lance follows his lead, wiping his boots against the purple carpet under them to make sure none of the cake-soup got in his soles because damn that cake-soup is gunna be a _bitch_ to clean out of a carpet.

“Um because he got hungry?” Lance asks distractedly as he tries to kick the sentry’s body away from the middle of the hallways because that shit was _hazardous_. What if someone came around the corner and tripped?

“It’s a _robot_ , Lance.” Keith says exasperatedly.

“So then it was taking it to someone.” Lance replies, not truly registering his own words. Keith’s face is struck with realization at the same time that Lance is and both immediately scramble for their comms.

“Pidge!” They both shout simultaneously the second their helmets crackle to life. Pidge releases a startled sound before replying with a quick _‘what?’_.

“Can you scan the ship for biorhythms?” Keith asks quickly, beating Lance to the punch. There’s a pause from Pidge before Lance hears a quiet _‘Just a sec’_

“Keith? Lance?” Shiro’s voice comes through. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

“We think we may have found something.” Keith replies, his eyes flickering to the broken sentry’s body.

“Got it!” Pidge exclaims and Lance immediately snaps to attention. “It looks like...like there’s only one other person on board other than us.” Pidge says quietly.

“Only _one_ person on a ship like _this_?” Hunk asks. Lance frowned in suspicion.

“Well there’s sentries on board, the one Keith and I found looked like it was carrying food in the direction we came from.” Lance points out.

“Well it looks like that assessment is correct because whoever this person is they’re in the living quarters of the ship, which is around where Hunk and Shiro are.” Pidge replies.

Lance and Keith share a single look before turning on their heels and going back the way they came.

“So are we thinkin this is like a Beta Traz situation or something?” Lance asks into his helmet’s microphone as he tries to keep up with Keith, who’s slowly turning his brisk speed-walk into a run.

“Possibly.” Shiro replies. “But we won’t know until we find out more. Allura, have you gotten into contact with Kolivan?” Shiro asks, opening the comms to the Castleship.

“I have.” Allura responds. “I’m going to set up a line so that you can keep him updated on what’s happening.”

Allura murmurs something unintelligible before Lance manages to make out the vaguely familiar voice of Kolivan.

“Paladins.” He greets in his usual stoic tone. “What’s the situation?” He asks, his voice shifting to what Lance secretly dubbed his ‘mission’ voice.

“The vessel is empty save for a single biorhythm and an unknown amount of sentries.” Shiro reports cooly.

“And we think that the situation may be similar to Beta Traz.” Lance adds. Kolivan is silent for a moment before replying.

“That evaluation seems logical. Most Galra ships carry anywhere from 50 to 50,000 officers. Even scouting ships have a minimum of thirty crewmembers. To have only a single passenger on a ship by themselves creates a prisoner scenario, that fits in considering the ship is stationed in a Galaxy with no apparent reason for being here.” Kolivan says, his tone considering. Lance is slightly amazed that he was able to deduce as much so quickly.

“If this is a prisoner, then shouldn’t there be more security? We’ve had almost no trouble getting on board the ship.” Shiro points out.

“It’s possible the prisoner is seen as low risk to escape. Slav was under such high scrutiny while in Beta Traz because he had valuable information to offer and was also capable of dismantling and escaping from any security measures they had set in place for him. _This_ prisoner is potentially a civilian. If they were a member of any form of rebellion, security would not be nearly as lax- meaning whoever placed this person here was confident they _wouldn’t_ escape or _couldn’t_ escape.”

Lance’s brows have nearly risen to his hairline. From the corner of his eye, Lance can see that Keith is equally as baffled as he is. Looks like Kolivan is the leader of the Blade of Marmora for a reason...damn.

Both Lance and Keith turn a corner and are met with the sight of Shiro and Hunk standing in the middle of the hallway, in front of one of the many doors running through the corridor. Hunk motions the two over to him.

“The biorhythm scans that Pidge ran show that whoever’s onboard the ship is behind _that_ door.” Hunk says lowly, using his thumb to point behind him. Lance peeks over his shoulder and sees Shiro slowly reach out his Galra arm to open the door using the identity scanner. Lance tensely lowers his hand to summon his bayard on the _off chance_ that a face-eating space zombie springs out at them.

But no Space Zombie attacks them.

The door slides open quietly and Lance slowly maneuvers around Hunk to stand beside Shiro at the entrance to the room.

“ _Dang_.” Lance whistles, amazement leaking into his voice as he gazes around the room. A lavender canopy bed with golden colored curtains sits in the middle of the room. A couch and several recliners sit on the far side of the room, and a large metal writing desk sits beside the bed. The figure at the desk suddenly rises and Lance is so startled he almost screeches.

Lance stumbles back a few paces, bumping into Hunk’s chest who immediately wraps his arms around Lance in a slight hug.

The figure that’s risen up is clearly Galra. The large, violet, downlike ears sticking out of their head are in the shape of butterfly wings. Lance notes that their face is much more youthful compared to all of the Galra they’ve met so far. Similarly to Kolivan they have long hair arranged into a braid, but their hair is a reddish color rather than the white that Kolivan has. The Galra’s eyes are a bright yellow, gazing at them in surprise before narrowing in annoyance.

“Oh great, _visitors_.” They say in a tired voice before slumping back into their chair and gazing up at the ceiling. Lance feels slightly confused at the reaction. A quick scan of his teammates faces show that they share similar feelings.

“Uh...hello?” Shiro greets slowly, hesitating to step foot in the room. The Galra lazily turns their head to look at him blankly before heaving themself up from their chair, standing back up, and crossing their arms in front of their chest.

“What does that split-end infant want now?” They ask, rubbing at their forehead in annoyance, just as Lance has seen Keith do multiple times before. “I _told_ him that I wasn’t finished with it. If he wants it to turn out well then he’s _going_ to have to wait!” The Galra huffs, placing both hands on their hips.

Shiro glances back at Lance, confusion clear in his face.

“Um...we’re not sure what you’re talking about.” He begins, taking a steady step forward and holding up his hands in innocence. “I’m Shiro, the Pilot of the Black Lion. We’re part of Voltron, maybe you’ve heard of us?” He asks slowly, looking at the Galra in front of him carefully. The Galra suddenly freezes, their eyes widening in surprise as they look up at Shiro with a stunned expression.

“...Voltron?” They ask incredulously. Shiro nods.

“As in _the_ Voltron. Like the actual _really-real_ Voltron? _That_ Voltron?” They ask, their brow raised in clear disbelief.

Although the sarcasm and disbelief of the person was clear Lance was nothing if not persistent.

“Yep!” Lance boasts, side stepping Shiro in order to meet the Galra head on. “We’re like the real deal, got the Lions to prove it and everything! And guess what sugar, _we’re_ here to rescue _you_ .” Lance coos, pointing both his fingers at the Galra in front of him with his signature finger guns. The Galra’s disbelief slips away instantly, an astonished expression taking over in it’s place. Their eyes critically examine Lance’s face, taking in his features. Lance starts to feel slightly uncomfortable, mainly because the _last_ time someone looked at him that deeply it was his mom trying to figure out if he was lying to her (which he was-and she caught him _every time_ . He never got away with _anything_ as a kid.).

“Your eyes…” The Galra trails off.

Oh boy he’s been down _this_ road before.

“Yeah?” Lance asks, somewhat reluctantly. Because the _last_ time an alien made an observation about his appearance they ended up insulting his ears (which were actually really nice he’d like to add.)

“They’re _gorgeous_ .” The Galra breaths, reaching out with both hands and pulling Lance’s face close to them. Lance only yelps a _little_.

The Galra is attempting to pull of his helmet and that’s when Lance begins pulling back because _nope_ . As cute as the Galra may be with their big butterfly ears and their red hair, Lance has got a _past_ with pretty aliens pulling him in close to them.

“Whoa!” Lance says, pulling the Galra’s hands away from his head. “Alright babe let’s not move _too_ fast.”

The Galra in front of him huffs in annoyance before straining their hands to try to reach for Lance’s helmet again.

“You don’t understand!” They insist. “I have to get a better reference on what you look like! All the pictures that I’ve seen so far are from monitors and those are hardly accurate representations! They got your eyes wrong so who knows how much else is incorrect!” They exclaim, wiggling their fingers at Lance. Lance feels his brows raise in confusion.

“Pictures?” Lance asks. The Galra in front of him nods.

“Yes! They’re the only reference materials I have. The rest comes from up here” They reply, lifting a finger to proudly point at their own head.

“Okaaay…” Lance says slowly. “And use those materials for...what exactly?” Lance asks, glancing behind him and hoping that maybe the others were as confused as he was.

“Writings!” The Galra in front of him exclaims.

Lance is still just as lost as he was five minutes ago.

XxX

Asking questions led to nowhere.

Anytime they would try looking for a direct answer, they got a vague response that was lost in context. Context which they _did not_ have.

Pidge eventually joined them, arriving from the monitor room and stumbling across the scene of the four other paladins attempting to question a confused Galra teen.

“We need more perspective.” Pidge announces, and breaking up the mixture of conversation going on in the room. “Kolivan’s probably got a better clue about what to do so let’s just take the Galra back to the castleship and go from there.” Pidge says, shrugging slightly like the plan should’ve been obvious.

“I have a name. And it’s not _‘the Galra’._ ” The teen huffs, their ears fluttering in slight offense. Normally Lance would gush over something like that but it _really_ wasn’t the time.

“Oh….uh, what is it?” Pidge asks sheepishly, just about to step out of the room. Lance feels his own cheeks heat up in embarrassment because dammit he was taught _better_ than that! Forgetting to ask someone their name?! Like how shitty is that?

“It’s Merla.” They reply, crossing their arms back over their chest. Thankfully they don’t seem too offended that none of the Paladins thought to question them on their name, but Lance can feel his shame follow him all the way to Blue and then back to the Castle.

XxX

Lance exits Blue and is surprised to see Allura and Kolivan waiting in the hanger for them.

“I thought you were back on your base?” Lance asks, striding up to the two of them.

“I was. But the Princess requested my presence once you discovered that there was a potentially important prisoner onboard an unmanned ship.” Kolivan replies in a professional voice. Lance glances behind Kolivan, half expecting to see at least two other Marmora members with him.

“I have come alone.” Kolivan adds, answering Lance’s unvoiced question. Lance nods, lifting a hand with a thumbs-up before turning to face the Red Lion as it flew into the hanger and landed precisely in front of them. Keith had insisted on having Merla fly with him despite their insistence about wanting to go with Lance, who they continuosly referred to as ‘Blue’ despite the fact that Lance had told them his name at least five times.

“Have you managed to get any information from the prisoner?” Kolivan asks as Red lowered her head to the floor.

“Not really.” Lance sighs, rubbing his hands together. “All we know is that they’re Galra, young-ish, they’ve been on that ship awhile, and that we accidentally smashed their cake-soup.”

Kolivan’s face twisted in confusion at Lance’s last statement, brows furrowing in thought before smoothing out to a calm expression when Red’s jaw slid open and Merla walked out, looking around the hanger with critical eyes.

Kolivan slowly approached them, stopping in front of them and allowing Merla to look them up and down before speaking.

“Hello cub.” He greets in the softest voice Lance has ever heard from him. Merla immediately raises their shoulders in annoyance.

“I am _not_ a _cub_!” They insist, raising their fists by their waist like a child about to throw a tantrum. Kolivan nods and raises a placating hand.

“Of course you’re not.” He says, nodding in agreement, but Lance gets the impression that he’s just humoring Merla. “We would like to ask you a few questions. Is that agreeable?”

Merla sniffs, wiggling their nose a bit before slowly nodding.

“Why were you on that ship?” Kolivan asks, eyes scanning Merla’s face for any trace of deceit. Merla doesn't seem to notice because they shrug before answering in a bored tone.

“It’s quiet out there.”

Kolivan seems to be accustomed to vague answers because he just moves on and rephrases the questions.

“What is the _reason_ you were placed on the ship?”

At that Merla appears to perk up.

“My writings!” They exclaim, their eyes glittering in pride.

Lance had heard them say that before, ‘writings’. But he still didn’t know what that _was_ , was Merla like some author or a blogger maybe? Those were technically writers weren’t they? Whatever it meant it made Kolivan tense up like a cat whose boundaries had been violated. Allura and Lance immediately snap to attention, looking to the taller Alien in slight alarm.

“Could you excuse us just a sec?” Lance asks, shooting Merla a grin before gripping Kolivan’s bicep and leading him into a small huddle with Allura.

“What happened? You got taut all of a sudden, did Merla say something important?” Lance whisper-asks, forcing Kolivan to bend at the waist to hear him. Kolivan has a considering expression on his face before he opens his mouth to speak.

“The cub said that their writing got them put on the ship.” He says slowly. Lance nods in understanding, waiting for him to elaborate. “The Galra Empire has very specific legislation for the types of work that can and cannot be published. But the only one that would earn someone a prison sentence would be works advocating for Political Change and Reform.”

Lance is struck silent. So Merla...is on that ship...because...because _what_? Because they were encouraging full-scale class warfare?

...That was kinda hot.

It’s Allura and Kolivan’s incredulous eyes on him that make him realize he had voiced his thoughts aloud.

“Don’t shame me.” Lance whispers. “We all have weird things that get us going.”

Allura and Kolivan seem to decide against questioning him and instead turn back to Merla who is waiting silently. Kolivan approaches them once again.

“How long have you been imprisoned? Has your Political Literature led to the arrest of anyone else? Do you know where they are?” Kolivan asks abruptly. Merla’s face goes from disinterested to confused in an instant.

“Imprisoned?” They asks, their brows furrowing in confusion. “I’m not a prisoner.”

Kolivan’s eyes squint down at Merla.

“Have you not been imprisoned on a ship?” He asks. Mela raises a brow and shakes their head.

“No? I _requested_ to be on that ship.”

“Why?” Lance asks, his own bewilderment overtaking him.

“It’s the only way I’ll be able to explore the Universe.” They shrug. “I was never ‘military’ material so my chances of traveling aboard a ship through the galaxies was never much of an option.”

“But you said your writings placed you on that ship.” Kolivan protests, his eyes narrowing on Merla.

“ _Yes_.” Merla replies, meeting Kolivan’s gaze. “One of my patrons offered me their personal cruiser if in exchange I accepted their contract to be employed as their personal creator.”

“Wait so you’re not a prisoner?” Lance asks, peeking around Kolivan to stare incredulously at Merla. Merla shakes her head.

“I am a commissioned creator.” Merla repeats.

“For what subject?” Kolivan asks, his face seemingly disgruntled as he stared down at Merla in confusion.

“Erotica.” Merla replies casually. Kolivan’s face instantly loses all expression. Allura freezes like a deer in the headlights.

Lance knows instantly what he has to do.

“Shiroooo!” Lance calls out to the other paladins gathered by their Lions. “I think we accidentally kidnapped a porn writer!”

This is the greatest thing he’s ever done. He has _peaked_.

Lance can see Shiro’s eyes widen in surprise all the way from across the hangar, Pidge flinches in surprise, Hunk goes as still as a statue, and Keith begins sputtering incomprehensibly.

While the others try to rein themselves in, Lance turns back to face the Galra teen, holding up his hand for a high-five.

“Merla, you cool cat, that’s so awesome, good for you.” Lance grins before leaning in closer to whisper.“Between you and me that was my _secondary_ career choice.”

Merla’s eyes show incomprehension as they gaze at Lance’s outstretched palm. So Lance joyously reaches out for her hand hanging by her side and touches her clawed, purple hand to his smaller human hand.

“So what do you usually write? I’m kinda open to _everything-_ ”

“ _Lance_!” Allura hisses, cutting him off.

“Well I mainly write about you.” Merla replies at the same time as Allura’s reprimand.

Lance stills.

So does Allura.

So does a _still not recovered_ Kolivan.

“Pardon?” Allura says breathlessly. Merla shrugs, either not noticing or not caring that Allura looks like she’s about to question the Universe and her existence.

“My works on Blue have received much praise through my obscene use of him in various situations and scenarios- It was one of my works featuring him and Prince Lotor that-”

“Stop!” Allura exclaims, her eyes widened in panic. “Please. I believe I have...heard enough.”

Merla’s mouth clicks shut and they cross their  arms over their chest- waiting patiently as Allura steadily breathed through her nose.

“You were on a ship using military grade fuel. That’s how we found you in the first place” Allura says slowly, her eyes slightly distant.

Merla nods.

“Which means someone with access to military grade fuel... _gave_ you that ship.”

Merla nods again.

“Could you tell us...who that might be?” Despite Allura’s question she seemed pretty reluctant  to find out considering her lips were curled down in distaste. Which Lance _sorta_ understood cuz apparently some big wig in the Galra Empire was paying Merla mega monies to write about _him_ sucking and fucking...not that Merla actually _said_ what she wrote about...but Lance would imagine that if he was in a porno, he’d be doing _a lot_ of sucking and fucking.

“It was Prince Lotor.” Merla replies nonchalantly.

…...

What the _fuuuuuuckkkk._

“I would _never_ suck Prince L’Oreal’s dick!” Lance immediately denies (in hindsight it was probably not a good idea to deny things no one accused him of).

Allura’s face gave no reaction. But Lance could see in her eyes that she was dead.

“Merla.” Kolivan begins. “Do you mean to say that you are...employed by the _Prince_ of the _Galra Empire_ to write...dirty stories?”

“My writings are actually filthy but yes that is the synopsis.”

Lance doesn’t know how someone could say that with such a strait face.

“What does Lotor give you in return?” Kolivan asks, looking like he’s aged in the span of five minutes.

“Whatever I want.” Merla replies. “He gave me his ship, left sentries to wait on my needs, supplied me with a writing space, all the food I could want, he even left me carts of _Zerti_.”

Merla seemed especially excited about that last thing, but Kolivan frowned at her enthusiasm.

“I do hope you’re not overindulging in it.” Kolivan says. Merla huffs and looks like they’re rolling their eyes.

“What’s Zerti?” Lance asks. Kolivan’s frown deepens.

“It’s a hallucinogenic drink often enjoyed at festivities. And it’s _only_ for Galra who are of _age_.” He says stressing his words. Merla frowns and scoffs their feet against the floor.

So Lotor supplies underaged teenagers with alcohol...good to know.

“I’ll be of age in four more cycles.” Merla murmurs before they look up at Kolivan with annoyed eyes. “But you’re not my sire, you can’t tell me what to do!”

Kolivan breaths deeply out of his mouth and mutters something about _cubs_ and how much they _loved_ to think they were _independent_ the second they leave their dens.

“Do you know how to contact Prince Lotor?” Allura suddenly breaks in, her eyes serious as she examined Merla.

“No, thankfully.” They reply their face scrunching up in annoyance. “If we had a communicator all he would do is pester me about whether I was working….Sometimes he sends people to check on me but those are rare and once I finish my writings I simply mark them and they get sent to him in an encoded message.”

Allura looks disappointed at the information but then immediately begins frowning in thought. Lance doesn’t have a chance to ask Allura anything because soon after Kolivan begins turning Merla to walk back in the direction of the Lions.

“Hey, wait-” Lance begins.

“He’s going to have one of the paladins return Merla to their ship.” Allura informs him.

“But I thought you guys wanted to ask them a buncha questions? And I mean Merla is on that ship all by themselves, won’t they get lonely?” Lance asks, confused.

“Merla is just a bystander, I doubt that they know much.” Allura sighs. “And Galra are naturally solitary creatures, bonds can be formed but it seems as though Merla may not have had any deep enough to keep her away from accepting Lotor’s contract.”

Allura turns to face him, her eyes lingering on him longer than normal, as if seeing him a new light.

“But I suppose that loneliness could be possibility.” She murmurs.

Lance gets the feeling Allura isn’t talking about Merla.

XxX

Pidge ended up being the one to take Merla home. The other paladins seemed to be unsure about what had occurred at first but Lance made sure to fill them in. _Oh did he fill them in._

Keith ran off like the weenie he was before Lance even got to fill them in on _who_ was paying for Merla’s _lovely services._ But that was overshadowed but the fact that Lance got to witness- for the first time in his life- a _flustered Shiro._

Lance would’ve kept going but then Allura told them to _‘retire’_ to their rooms because they’d all had a _‘long day’_.

Honestly. The one time Lance actually _wants_ to continue talking about a mission they all suddenly _need_ their rest.

He never gets away with _anything_ in this house.

XxX

Allura is silently examining the map of the Galra Empire when she hears the doors behind her slide open.

“Allura?” She hears a familiar voice ask. Allura turns her head and spots Shiro slowly approaching, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He asks.

“Shouldn’t _you_?” Allura retorts, raising a brow in challenge.

“Touché.” Shiro replies, shrugging his shoulders before following her eyes back to the map in front of them.

“The Galra Empire is vast.” Allura comments, her words sounding stronger in the silence of the main deck. “We’ll be struggling to fight this war unless we can gain an advantage.”

Shiro remains silent beside her.

“Shiro,”Allura begins, “I think I might have an idea.”

“What kind of idea?” Shiro asks, quirking a brow at the Altean Princess. Allura didn’t usually hesitate to present a plan to him, Coran, or any of the other paladins.

“Before today I’ve never thought much of Lance’s flirtations- they were simply...quirks of his.” She began slowly.

“But Lance has an _allure_ about him- one that has enamored numerous Galra as we now know.”

“Yeah…” Shiro says slowly, his face becoming unsure as he slowly began to piece together what Allura was implying.

“Allura...what _exactly_ are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we might have just found our advantage.” She murmurs, but in the silence of the bay she may as well have shouted it. Shiro’s eyes widen in comprehension as Allura turns to face him, her face set in determination.

“We can use this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my girl Merla!!! She's been dealing with lotor’s shit since the 80s!!!  
> And i don't know about yall but some of the greatest porn i’ve ever read was written by 16 year old virgins - and before you ask, yes they were Naruto fics.
> 
> slight dialogue preview to the next chapter:  
> “So let me get this straight.” Lance begins, putting a finger to his chin in thought. “You want me to weaponize my thiccness for the forces of good?”
> 
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	6. kick ass, go to space, represent the human race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allura discusses her idea with the paladins, meets some opposition, and lancy-lance makes a new friend.

The dining room has fallen into a thick silence. The four recently rested paladins staring at Shiro Allura, and Coran with varying degrees of astonishment.

Lance is the one to break the hush of the room.

“Let me get this straight.” Lance began, putting a finger to his chin in thought. “You want _me_ to weaponize my thiccness for the forces of good?” He asks, his brow raised slightly at the nervously shifting Shiro and determined Allura in front of him. Despite his question, he doesn’t seem particularly opposed to the plan considering how brightly his eyes were sparkling and how there was a steadily forming grin tugging at his lips.

“Yes.” Allura nods affirmatively. Shiro awkwardly begins cracking his knuckles from where he’s standing beside her, avoiding Lance’s gaze and instead letting it settle behind him, where the other paladins are standing.

“No.” Pidge immediately protests, starting forward and resting one hand on the small of Lance’s back and the other on his stomach before forcing the Blue Paladin to begin backing away.

“Wha-? Pidge!” Lance immediately begins protesting, flailing out his arms.

“I said _‘No’_!” Pidge screeches and wraps both arms around Lance’s waist and continues hauling him back like a parent scolding their over exuberant puppy. Pidge tightened a fist in Lance’s shirt and continued backing him away from Allura and Shiro. “Hunk do something!” They demand, fierce hazel eyes peeking around Lance’s body to the unsure Yellow Paladin. “Shiro and Allura are trying to pimp out Lance!” They hiss. Hunk doesn’t even get a chance to respond before Shiro jumps in.

“No! That is _not_ what is happening!” Shiro immediately denies, starting forward, his embarrassed blush creeping up from his neck and to his cheeks. “Allura was simply _speculating_ on...the possibilities this situation could entail.” He continued unsurely, not looking wholly convinced of his words.

“Possibilities that hold great benefit to the team.” Allura adds helpfully. Coran shifted from foot to foot behind her, looking torn between saying something and staying silent.

“Wait.” Keith begins, starting forward and nudging Lance and Pidge behind him in order to stand before the two Alteans and Black Paladin. “You want to use _Lance_ as some...some kind of _honey trap_?” He asks incredulously, looking extremely offended, whether that was on Lance’s behalf Shiro wasn’t sure.

“We believe the effect we’ve seen Lance have on the Galra thus far could serve as an effective tool against the Empire.” Allura replies calmly, nodding her head at her own statement. Keith’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates before switching their gaze to Shiro and narrowing on him.

“Shiro you can’t honestly be on her side about this!” He exclaims, raising his arms out at his side in disbelief. Shiro’s eyes flicker uncertainly as he bites his lip.

“Allura…” He begins, turning to face the Altean standing beside him. “This does seem a bit far-fetched…”He begins, trailing off. Allura frowns at him, forehead creased in thought.

“I don’t understand.” She says, tilting her head to the side. “The Galra, both our allies and our enemies have all displayed a shared interest in Lance. Why should we not address this?” She asks. Coran clears his throat from behind her.

“Princess,” He begins,” I too find myself a bit unsure of this plan of yours. There are many factors we couldn’t hope to predict.” Coran points out. “We have no idea how far this...fondness the Galra have for Lance may stretch.”

Allura frowns at Coran’s words, lifting a hand a putting it against her chin in thought.

“Be that as it may,” she murmurs, tapping a finger against her lips, “this is something that cannot go ignored.”

“Well _I_ say that we leave this _alone_ .” Keith says, crossing both arms across his chest. “Things were going fine _before_ we knew about this and they’ll go fine now that we _do_.” He huffs before he turns on his heel and begins marching towards the door.

“Hold on a sec!” Lance loudly demands. “Don’t _I_ get a vote?” He asks, pointing a finger to his own chest. Lance lays  a hand down on where Pidge has coiled their arms around him and attempts to pry them off as he continues speaking. “I would ,personally, _love_ to be a honey trap I mean I _do_ get all the honies aftera- Jesus, Pidge _what do you eat_?!” Lance asks as he huffs while attempting to get out of Pidge’s hold. Pidge grumbles and steps away from Lance, glaring up at him.

“These are the thanks I get for looking out for you?” They ask looking vaguely annoyed. Lance deflates slightly and lays a hand down on Pidge’s head.

“ _Thank you_ , Pidge for looking out for me.” He says, but seems to say it more out of resigned obligation. Either way Pidge appears to be satisfied considering the pleased smile that made it’s way onto their face and the proud puffing of their chest. But that pose disappears the moment Lance pokes a finger at their stomach, forcing them to release the air they were holding and hunching over to protect their gut from Lance’s hands.

“Don’t get too big for your britches kiddo Lance McClain can still save his _own_ ass.” Lance points out, grinning widely and swiftly dodging a punch from the still hunched over Pidge. “Now back to the conversation!” He says gleefully.

“ _What_ conversation?” Keith asks, still standing by the doorway with a raised brow. “I thought we said we’d just set this aside.”

“Actually _no one_ said that, Willie Nelson.” Lance sassed, putting his hands on his waist and jutting out a hip in Keith’s direction. Keith frowned, his nose scrunching in a mixture of displeasure and confusion.

“I don’t even know _who that is_.” Keith replied.

Lance pretended to flip hair he didn’t have over his shoulder and turned his back on an annoyed Keith.

“So Allura, beautiful, graceful Allura. What were you saying?” Lance asked, hopping closer to the Altean Princess and gazing up at her with excited eyes. “It was something about me putting my best qualities to the test?” Lance says, hopping from foot to foot like he couldn’t stand to keep still. Allura nodded her head, smiling in relief at Lance’s eager energy.

“Due to the newly acquired information I thought it would be crucial to seize this opportunity that has been presented to us.” Allura said amicably. Her smile faltered slightly as she turned her head to meet the gaze of Shiro. Shiro returned her look with a raised brow, directing his eyes towards Lance before returning to meet hers again. The silent sign must’ve clicked because she turned back to the smiling Lance with a serious expression. “But there is, however, some concern that this plan has arisen.” She said slowly. Lance tilted his head to the side, confusion seeping into his expression.

“Like what?” He asked, brows furrowing slightly.

“Well…” Allura began. “This plan may require you to get much closer to Empire Galra than you’re used to.”

“He can’t to do that!”

Lance and Allura both turned to face a displeased Keith standing behind them.

“Last I checked we all had _specific_ jobs on this team.” Keith said, lips turning down into a frown. “Lance is a long range fighter, he’s not _supposed_ to get into the fray. That’s what _Shiro_ and _I_ do.” Keith pointed out, arms crossing over his body and staring down at Allura.

“So?” Lance interrupted the stare off, drawing Keith’s gaze to him. Lance stepped closer to the Red Paladin, bumping his chest against the crossed arms Keith had between them. “ _I’m_ just as much part of this team as _you_ are.” Lance said, poking Keith in the chest with a finger. “Who says I can’t be close combat?”

“ _I_ do.” Keith stresses, glaring into the blue eyes of the other boy. “And besides I’m just looking out on what’s best for yo- the team.”

“Ohhhhhh.” Lance said, nodding slowly as if understanding. “So you’re looking out for the _team_ ?” Lance asked, lowering his head to touch his nose to Keith’s and looking deeply into his eyes. “Are you sure you’re not just looking out for _yourself_?”

Keith’s face suddenly scrunched in confusion.

“What?” He asked, a slight redness in his cheeks forming. Lance’s eyes narrowed on the other’s face.

“You’ve been acting pretty weird ever since we found out the Galra wanted to get down and dirty with yours truly.” Lance said, sounding accusing. “And now you’re getting all up in arms against something that could _help_ us.” Lance added, starting forward and forcing Keith to begin backing up.

Keith took a few steps backwards before stopping and pushing back against Lance, a deep frown taking over his expression.

“I _said_ I was looking out for our best interests! And last I recall you couldn’t even dodge a kick-sweep from me!” Keith argued, putting his hands firmly by his side and glaring at Lance. Lance bristled in offense.

“I _slipped_ and you know it!”

Shiro immediately stepped between the two, resting a calming hand on both their shoulders. The two instantly went limp at his presence and opted to glower at opposing ends of the room. Shiro breathed in slowly through his nose, closing his eyes.

“Keith. Lance.” He began. “You both make good points, but...Allura is right.”

Keith’s head snapped up to look at him.

“You are too, Keith.” Shiro assured. “Which is why we need to figure this out...peacefully.” He added as a second thought. Keith looked begrudging but nodded his agreement. Lance murmured his own understanding.

“Alright, then it’s settled.” Allura said, a look of slight relief on her face. “As Coran stated, we’ve no idea how deep this fondness for Lance will go so it may end up being a sort of ‘trial and error’ sort of plan.” Allura said, making her way to her post to address the paladins. “Of course, Keith’s concerns do have merit.” She pondered. Her eyes flickered to Lance, an inquisitive light shining in them.”Lance...how would you feel about extra training?” She asked, a considering expression on her face.

Lance tried to hide the grimace that immediately appeared.

“Uh...totally..yeah!” Lance replied somewhat unenthusiastically. Allura didn’t seem to notice.

“Excellent!” She exclaimed, walking forwards to where the three paladins were gathered, and resting a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “You’ll need to strengthen your abilities in hand to hand combat, it’ll be your fail safe in case anything were to happen on a mission.”

“Wait.” Pidge interrupted. “Are you saying that Lance is going to get close to Empire Galra?”

Hunk frowned, his brows furrowing unsurely.

“I’m-I’m kinda with Pidge on this one, that seems a little dangerous. I mean Galra _are_ a lot bigger than humans and way stronger too.” He points out.

“Shiro can face off against them just fine.” Lance argues.

“Well Shiro’s got a robot arm and way more experience than any of us do in fighting without a weapon.” Pidge retaliates, pushing their glasses up. “If you wanna stand a chance against them you’re gunna have to pull some major rabbits out of your hat.”

Lance pouted and huffed.

“I’m allergic to rabbits.” He replies, smiling to himself and not seeing Pidge roll their eyes at his supposed ‘comeback’.

“But in all seriousness _how_ am I gunna do this?” Lance asked, turning to Allura. “Cuz Hunk is kinda right the Galra are a whole lotta...mass. And I may not look it but I’m pretty delicate, after all _these_ legs were made for booty shorts, not kickin in faces-though I do admit that’d be pretty cool.” Lance says, lifting his leg and parading it around the room by hopping around on one foot. No one kicks it out from under him, which Pidge thinks he should be grateful for.

“Well we would need to set you up with a personal trainer.” Allura says, lifting a finger to her chin in thought.

“Oh, is that you offering?” Lance asks, winking at her. Allura doesn’t appear to notice and just shakes her head, still deep in thought.

“No. I’ve too many duties, I couldn’t possibly find the time to teach you. Coran also wouldn’t be able to fit this into his schedule. And Shiro and I already discussed him as a possibility, but his style seems to be more personally suited for him, I don't think he could replicate it.” Allura muses, beginning to pace around the hanger.

“Why don’t I just do it?” Keith asks, drawing all eyes in the room to him. “I’m pretty good at hand to hand and it’s not like I could make Lance _worse_.”

“Hey!” Lance yells, narrowing his eyes on the Red Paladin. Shiro mindlessly lifts an arm, making a blockade so Lance couldn’t march over to Keith and start an argument.

“I appreciate the thought Keith but I don’t think that’d be such a good idea.” Shiro says, offering an apologetic expression to him. Keith’s face creases in confusion.

“Why not?” He asks. Shiro tilts his head up to the ceiling, creasing his brows in thought. How should he put this?

“It’s just that...you can be... an impatient person. And Lance needs someone who will talk him through his training and explain things- it’s not that you’re not a good candidate!” Shiro adds in hastily. “It’s just that you wouldn’t be a good fit...for Lance.”

Keith bites his lip, looking a bit unsure at Shiro’s words before nodding in agreement. Lance peeks around Shiro’s shoulder and grins at the now silent paladin.

“He means you suck.” Lance says, and is swiftly pushed back behind Shiro with a deep sigh from the older paladin.

“Shut up.” Keith grouches.

“ _You_ shut up.” Lance says from underneath the weight of Shiro’s arm.

“Why doesn’t Kolivan do it?” Pidge asks, breaking up the bickering brewing between the two of them.

“Yeah!” Hunk says, perking up. “Kolivan’s a Blade of Marmora so he’s probably got loads of experience with this! Plus he’s a Galra, I bet he’d know a _ton_ of weak spots that he could teach Lance!” Hunk exclaims, high-fiving Pidge.

“That is an excellent suggestion, but Kolivan is the leader of the Blade of Marmora. I couldn’t ask him away from his organization for this.” Allura says shaking her head before freezing and looking pensive at their words. “...But perhaps he might have an agent he could send our way.” She says, turning to her post and summoning a communications link.

Lance ducks down under Shiro’s arm and pops up beside him, staring up at the front projectors as Kolivan’s face materialized on screen.

“Princess Allura, you’ve contacted me so soon after our last meeting. Has something gone awry?” He asks, his face serious as he stares down at the Princess. Allura shakes her head and straightens her back as she addresses Kolivan.

“Kolivan,” she began, “I’ve a favor I wish to ask of you.”

Kolivan’s gaze cleared and he nodded in understanding.

“I was hoping you may be able to provide an instructor for Lance. We have put great thought into a new strategy of using the attraction held for him against the Empire, however this is still a significantly dangerous task as he runs the risk of being trapped in close quarters with enemy Galra. So it was decided he needed supplemental instruction for combat without a weapon.” Allura says in one breath before staring up at Kolivan and awaiting his response. The only indication that he is surprised is the slightest widening of his eyes before his face returns to its normal,neutral expression.

“So the Blue Paladin requires a trainer?” He asks. Allura nods. Kolivan is silent for a few moments, rolling over the request in his head before responding. “There is one prospective candidate that may be able to fulfill your needs at this time.”Kolivan begins, gaze focusing and settling on the paladins and Allura. “I personally trained him alongside Antok and he mainly remains on base to monitor the development of kits so he should be able to carry out this task. I’ll inform him and send him in a pod, he should arrive within a varga.” Kolivan finishes. Allura offers a grateful thanks and ends the connection, turning to face the waiting paladins.

“Well it seems as though we have found the solution to our problem.” Allura smiles, before turning her gaze towards the Blue paladin. “Lance.” She calls out. Lance straightens and turns his head to face her.

“Yeah?” He asks. Allura smiles widely and clasps both hands in front of her in excitement.

“Why don’t you go wait on the training deck for your new instructor, Coran will send him your way once he arrives.”

“Yay. More work.” Lance agrees blandly as he turns to leave. At the sight of Allura’s raised brow he quickly backpedals.

“I mean, YAY! _More_ work!” Lance says, faux excitement in his voice and shoots the remaining occupants of the room finger guns as he backs out of the doors and turns to jog in the direction of the training deck.

XxX

Lance arrives to the spotless room and immediately sheds his dark green jacket, dropping it on the floor. Lance’s experience in _actual fighting_ , as in giving someone the old “1,2” was _extremely_ limited. Mainly because...well...Lance just wasn’t a _fighter_ . He was a _lover_.

Sure Lance could tumble with people if it came down to it (he did it often enough, roughhousing as a kid with his older brothers and sisters), and he was pretty quick on his feet but that was about all he had going for him. He wasn’t like Keith or Shiro who seemed to know what parts to hit for the most damage, who knew that their feet had to be positioned like _this_ and not like _that,_ who knew whether or not you had to tuck your thumb into a fist or keep it out to prevent it from breaking.

Shiro and Keith just seemed to _know_ that stuff, which was good. Fighting was their thing.

It wasn’t Lance’s thing. His thing was being able to shoot a target from far away. But now apparently he had to be able to pick _this_ stuff up now because the team was depending on him. They were _depending_ on _him_. And Lance couldn’t afford to let them down. He just couldn’t.

The sound of the training room doors opening drew Lance away from his own thoughts and he looked up to catch the sight of a Galra he had never seen before walking in. They wore the same Blade of Marmora uniform that all the members Lance had seen so far seemed to own. Only this Galra wasn’t wearing the identity protection mask Lance had grown accustomed to seeing. Lance saw that the Galra had slightly stern features and a square jaw. Their canines were sticking out slightly from their top lip and they had a mane-like head of purple hair that began at their neck and ended on their head where it poofed out the slightest bit. Lance idly noted that their ears were very Sendak-like and unconsciously tensed as the Marmora member made their way over to him.

The unnamed Blade stopped in front of where Lance was sitting and stared down at him. Lance stared up in return, taking in features he hadn’t noticed from a distance.

“What’s up?” Lance asked as his eyes locked on the light scar underneath the Galra’s left eye. His new trainer raised a slight brow at Lance’s question before seemingly shrugging it off.

“I am Tiroth.” He said, introducing himself. His voice was gravely and reverberated around the room. Lance nodded and jumped up from his sitting position.

“I’m Lance.” He replied, pointing to himself and offering a small smile. People won’t beat you up if you smile at them right? Because Tiroth had about two feet in height over him and a solid 60 pounds. He could probably take Lance’s lunch money without even having to ask for it. In fact Lance would _gladly_ hand it over to him.

“I was informed by Kolivan that I would be your handler for unarmed combat.” Tiroth said, breaking Lance out his thoughts. Lance nodded feverishly, not trusting himself to speak. Tiroth followed the movement of his head with placid eyes.

“First.” Tiroth began, moving towards the center of the deck and motioning for Lance to follow. “You must answer the question of how you are going to take down an opponent who is not only larger but also stronger than you.”

At the mention of Tiroth’s strength Lance nervously eyed the bulging biceps of Tiroth's arms. Jesus _Christ_ , they were probably bigger than Pidge’s _head_. Lance bit his lip and began scrambling for an answer the second Tiroth landed their expectant gaze on him.

“Well,” Lance began, “ya see...you just...you sorta...you can...punch...you can punch...them?” Lance offers, stumbling over his words as he tried to give a response. Not smooth McClain. _Not smooth at all_.

It looks like Tiroth is as equally unimpressed with Lance’s shitty response as Lance is because he immediately settles into a slightly crouched stance, both arms raised in front of him like they were prepared to block a hit from Lance.

“Attack me.” He orders. Lance freezes.

“Attack me.” He repeats. Lance unsurely raises a fist and thrusts it forward, aiming for Tiroth’s protected face. Almost immediately Tiroth side steps him, grabbing his wrist and tossing him to the ground. Lance lands with a light thump on his knees and immediately scrambles to get back on his feet.

“Attack me.” Tiroth demands. Lance frowns slightly and forms a fist in both hands.

“But _how_?” Lance asks.

“Attack me.” Tiroth replies, not answering Lance’s question _at all._

“Yeah, I heard you.” Lance replies getting slightly frustrated. “But _how_?” He stresses. “I don’t...I don’t really do this.”

“ _Attack me._ ” Tiroth urges. Lance releases a deep sigh and starts forward, faster than last time, and pulls his fist back before throwing it forward. Like before, Tiroth side steps him and grabs his wrist. But before he has a chance to throw Lance down, Lance raises his other fist and fires it towards Tiroth’s face. Tiroth blocks with his other hand and throws Lance down, letting him fall to his knees again. Lance jumps up quickly, frustration tingling at the edge of his patience.

“Attac-”

“I _know_ !” Lance grits out and rushes forward, feinting a punch and attempting to get behind the Galra. Tiroth spins smoothly as if he was expecting it and ,quick as lightning, throws Lance down on his knees again. Lance immediately stands up and backs away a few paces, the slightest bit of sweat beginning to form on his forehead. _This_ was exactly the reason why Lance didn’t engage in front-line fighting. For the most part, Lance’s opponents could go for longer than he could (his stamina only surpassed Pidge’s after all), it wouldn’t really be a test strength it would moreso be a test of endurance. Patience was a game Lance could play well, but _this_ type of patience was where he fell short.

Lance slowly began circling Tiroth, who mimicked his actions.

If he wanted to win, then he’d have to do it quickly because there was no way he would be able to out last Tiroth. Lance breathed in slowly through his nose and began scanning Tiroth’s body for any weaknesses he could exploit.

Nope.

Tiroth was bigger than Lance. More experienced than Lance. He had longer arms and longer legs. He could probably kill Lance with one punch and _motherfucker_ he had _claws_.

Lance felt nervousness begin to bubble in his stomach as he continued circling the Galra without making any move towards him. Lance’s eyes were drawn back to the scar on Tiroth’s face and he scanned his opponent's head, desperate for any sort of leverage. Almost immediately Lance’s eyes settled on Tiroth’s large Galra ears.

Were Galra sensitive to sound?

Looks like he’d find out.

Without wasting another second Lance powered forward, pretending to lift a fist and aim for Tiroth’s face again. Once Tiroth grabbed his wrist, Lance pushed himself closer to the Galra, almost as if moving to embrace him. Lance lifted his free hand and reached for Tiroth’s neck, using his hold on the other to yank his head down and scream as loudly as he could into his ear.

Tiroth immediately released his wrist, bending over slightly and lifting both hands to cover his ears as if in pain. Seeing an opportunity, Lance raised his knee and rammed it into Tiroth’s face as hard as he could. Tiroth stumbled to his knees, looking disoriented. Lance raised his leg to kick again, swinging it as hard as he could, aiming for Tiroth’s jaw.

Whatever his screaming did, it seemed to knock Tiroth off his game enough to allow the second blow to make contact. But as soon as he did Lance regretted it. Pain immediately flared in his toes and shot up his leg.

“Bad idea!” Lance cried lowly as he limped away from a recovering Tiroth. “Really, really, _really bad idea_!”

Lance began sucking in air harshly through his teeth as he avoided putting weight on his foot. As he continued grumbling to himself Lance heard movement behind him and turned around just in time to land on his back when Tiroth tackled him down. Lance’s head hit the floor with a harsh thump and he groaned, grimacing at the pain and lifting a hand to cradle the injured spot as Tiroth lowered his head to glare at Lance.

Lance immediately felt pain leave him, replaced by panic and fear as he stared up at Tiroth’s face, inches away from his. And he did _not_ look happy.

Tiroth opened his mouth to speak, and without thinking, Lance shoved the hand he had been cradling his head with into Tiroth’s open mouth. Lance pushed his fingers down Tiroth’s throat, the heat and wetness of the Galra’s tongue only slightly grossing him out, hoping, _really fucking_ hoping that Galra had a gag reflex.

They did.

Because Tiroth immediately began choking on Lance’s hand. Lance pulled his arm back to his body as soon as Tiroth began coughing and scrambled out from under him, attempting to stand and them immediately falling the second he tried to walk on his hurt foot.

“Oh man you’ve really gone and done it now McClain.” He hissed to himself as he heard the coughing behind him slow to a stop. Lance was attempting to army crawl his way to freedom when a large shadow fell over him. Lance felt his muscles tense in place, refusing to move any further. Hesitantly, he lifted his head and stared up at the unimpressed face of Tiroth.

“Tiroth!” Lance exclaims. “Buddy! Ya know what would be a really great thing to do? Not kill me. I feel like we’d just become such great friends if you didn-”

Tiroth raised a clawed hand and began lowering it in the direction of Lance’s face.

“Bro!” Lance shrieked as he flipped on his back and tried to crab crawl backwards. “I thought we were cool, man!”

Tiroth followed him slowly, until Lance was pinned in place by a wall. His hand continued lowering, his large claws glimmering dangerously the closer they got to Lance’s soft human skin. Lance screwed his eyes shut, preparing for pain when a heavy weight settled on his head. It was gone for a few moments before it returned again and again.

Was Tiroth...petting him?

Lance opened his closed eyes, and gazed up in confusion to a slightly smiling Tiroth.

“Well done cub.” He praised.

What?

“What?” Lance asked. Tiroth stood from his crouched position and offered a hand to Lance, which he mindlessly accepted. Tiroth half carried Lance as he began walking them in the direction of the hanger doors.

“Wait.” Lance said, before they took more than a few steps. “Aren’t you mad? You seemed pretty mad.” Lance pointed out. Tiroth raised a brow and slowly shook his head.

“At first I had been planning to scold you on your tactics, what you did- yelling into my ear was very dishonorable. Galra don’t fight like that.” Tiroth said. Lance winced slightly.

“Yeah that was kind of a dick move wasn’t it?” Lance admitted. “But you _told_ me to attack you.”

Lance feels the slight rumbling of Tiroth’s laughter as he continues to press against him as they continued walking forward.

“So I did.” He muses. “At first that had been my plan, but then you _escaped_ my grasp.” Tiroth said, sounding somewhat impressed. “My job is mainly the instruction of kits and I can tell you the amount of times they have managed to escape my hold. But your unorthodox tactics granted you that ability.”

Lance nodded, trying to look like he was in agreement. When really he was just thanking his lucky stars that a bonafide beefcake like Tiroth _hadn’t_ been trying to kill him.

“It seems as though Galra fighting techniques may not be what you need.” Tiroth says. Lance nods almost dismissing the thought, but not before it caught up with him again.

Actually...Lance could work with this.

Hair pulling, biting, screaming into someone’s ear, and almost getting them to throw up. That was total _dirty_ , _below the belt_ fighting.

But more than that. That was _sibling-roughhousing._

Now _that_ was a thing that Lance could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there goes my boi lance finding his strengths in the face of insecurity. this boi is so precious yall dont even know. (also total truth in that sibling fighting stuff, me and my two sisters only really had each other for company while we were growing so of course violence was the obvious outlet)
> 
> lmao tiroth probably makes a 'i deepthroated the blue paladin' joke once he gets back to base becuz you bet your ass he's THAT bitch.
> 
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	7. check yo self before you wreck yo self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance bonds with his new friend and both keith and lance learn a little lesson in sensitivity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i was on nyquil writing half of this because my dumbass doesn't use hand sanitizer enough and caught a cold.

“Alright so like...watching over galra babies, what’s that like?” Lance asks, rocking back and forth on his thighs as he sat crossed legged on the floor. Tiroth stretched his arms above his head, releasing a deep sigh before settling down in front of Lance.

“It is as you would expect. Young kits who are far too reckless to be left on their own. I mainly act as a peace keeper for when fights break out or redirect their attention for when they lose focus in training.” Tiroth replies, reaching for the stack of water pouches that Coran had dropped off earlier that day. “Patience is a virtue when commanding an entire herd of kits.” He chuckles, a slight fond look crossing his face. Lance feels a grin begin to tug on his own lips.

“That’s so cute- you’re like their babysitter/kindergarten teacher!” He exclaims as he accepts the pouch that Tiroth is offering him. Tiroth’s eyes flash in slight confusion at his words before curiously focusing on Lance.

“Are those what qualify as Den Guardians on your planet?” Tiroth asks, tilting his head in question. Lance hums in thought as he sticks the straw in his mouth.

“Kinda? They’re the people who take care of your kids when you’re not there. Like teach em and stuff, make sure they’re safe, that kinda stuff. Do Den Guardians take care of kits the whole day?” Lance asks, genuinely  interested. Making conversation with Tiroth during their breaks and asking about his duties has given Lance more insight into Galra culture than fighting against them _ever_ has.

Tiroth nods affirmatively.

“Yes, Galra sires and dams don’t typically have much of a hand in the rearing of their young beyond a certain amount of cycles.” Tiroth explains. “They dedicate themselves to the survival of their kits the first few seasons of their lives. A burrowed sire and dam are among the deadliest adversaries in the Universe, they would sacrifice themselves to ensure the safety of their offspring.” Tiroth informs him, stabbing a straw into his own pouch and attempting to maneuver it into his mouth without accidentally impaling it on his sharp canines.

Lance nods absently in thought.

“So hands-off parenting, huh?” He mumbles to himself but Tiroth appears to hear him anyway.

“Is that _not_ how Humans nurture their pups?” Tiroth asks, his own gaze probing as Lance empties the last of the water into his mouth.

“Not really.” Lance shakes his head. “Humans…” Lance trailed off. “..Humans tend to stick to their offspring from the time they’re born until...well until they can take care of themselves I guess.” Lance shrugs, quietly fiddling with the loose strings of his shirt, feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness curl around his shoulders. The thought of his mom and dad handing him off to strangers when he’s barely capable of forming his own sentences left a bad taste in his mouth. Maybe for Galra it was normal, they seemed to stress that whole ‘independence’ thing early on. That probably explains why Merla seemed happy to travel the Universe in an empty cruise ship with nothing but a bunch of robots and ,occasionally, Prince Lotion to keep her company. But still...his parents were all he knew and all he _had_ when he was just a gumless little brat that cried in the middle of the night because he missed his mommy.

“But even then they still keep em pretty close.” Lance says, the sadness he felt pressing down on him creeping into his voice. He suddenly recalls how every Saturday, like clockwork, his mom would call him on the Garrison's international phones and they'd spend a solid hour talking about how he was doing, how his family back home was doing, when his next leave would be. Lance missed that motherly fretting he’d hear over the phone.

He couldn’t imagine growing up without it.

“Well...every species has their differences.” Tiroth says soothingly, his ears twitching slightly and resting a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder. He must’ve detected the pain in Lance’s voice. “Now come, we’ve rested enough and still have to work on your form- though I do have one request.” Tiroth says as he stands and offers Lance a hand, raising him to stand up straight before him. “Please try not to pull as harshly on my hair this time.” He asks, running a hand through the clump of missing fur at the base of his skull. Lance grimaces and feels his blooming sadness be immediately replaced by embarrassment and murmurs apologies as Tiroth leads him to the center of the training deck.

Lance would like to say he was improving. Tiroth certainly seemed to think Lance posed a challenge considering how much harder he was throwing Lance down whenever he misstepped. But still, flinging a loogie into the eye of your instructor could only take you _so far_.

Almost immediately after Lance let that thought pass through his head Tiroth grappled him to the ground, wrapping a hand around Lance’s right thigh and lifting it off the floor before pushing Lance’s chest back.

“Your reaction time still needs to improve.” Tiroth comments as he lifts off of where he was pinning Lance down.

“You didn’t say _‘start’_!” Lance whines, indignancy immediately flowing through him as he pushes himself up. An amused smile forms on Tiroth’s face as Lance stands and puts both hands out in front of him so the Galra couldn’t attack from the front.

“Forgive me, I’m sure your other opponents will make sure to alert you of their surprise attack during a fight.” Tiroth apologizes. Lance huffs and uses his palms to push against Tiroth’s chest. But he doesn't budge an inch….the bitch.

“Alright Sir Sassy Pants, pay better attention- got it.” Lance nods and tries to not-so-subtly sink his nails through Tiroth’s armor.

“Your human claws will not be an effective tool in battle.” Tiroth comments, looking particularly unimpressed and gingerly grabbing Lance’s wrist. Lance wonders if he makes that face because he knows that it bothers Lance.

He seems like the type to do that.

“Are you sure it doesn’t hurt? Not even a _little_ ?” Lance asks, trying wiggle his wrist out of Tiroth’s iron hold and push his nails deeper because _goddammit_ he spent half an hour filing his nails last night for this express purpose.

“What you’re doing is the equivalent of a cub attempting to sharpen their claws on a gartevite stone.” He replies blandly.

“Is that good?” Lance asks curiously, looking up at Tiroth.

“Cub claws are fragile until they reach the end of their maturity. Gartevite would simply dull them.”

“So what you’re saying is...this does nothing for you?” Lance asks, the edge of a flirtatious tone seeping into his voice before he could stop it. _Shit_. What if Tiroth goes and tattles on him to Shiro, Allura, and Kolivan?

Shiro’s just a tired man and Kolivan seems like he’d just blow it off.

But he’s not worried about them.

Allura is the one he fears.

Allura _is_ fear.

Lance is about to sputter out excuses when Tiroth’s body begins to tremble in lightly amused chuckles. Lance feels his shoulders immediately sag in relief.

He knew Tiroth was cool.

Tiroth shakes his head and drops Lance’s hand.

“While your tactics for intimidation are amusing they are ultimately ineffective.” Tiroth says, his voice echoing through the empty room. “In addition, I monitor cubs and their development from recently presented to maturity.” He adds, raising a brow at Lance who sheepishly smiles. “I’ve had to deal with the occasional voracious cub before- how do you think I acquired this scar?” He asks, lifting a finger to point at the discolored flesh under his eye.

Lance purses his lips as he stares with wide eyes at the afflicted area. Damn. The worst _he_ ever did as a kid was accidentally knock out his uncle with a baton while practicing his twirling when he was eight. He was doing so good too, but then poor uncle Decarlos walked _right_ into his path just as the red and blue stick came tumbling down to Earth. Lance was grounded for a week and lost all ‘stick throwing’ privileges. It was a sad day in the McClain household.

Lance opens his mouth to offer his condolences when he catches sight of Tiroth’s barely concealed smile. Lance gapes and throws a hand towards Tiroth’s face.

“Jerk, I was gunna give you my sympathy!” Lance says, beating a hand against the Galra’s chest once it was flicked away with a single finger. Tiroth just continued grinning, his shoulders slumped at ease.

Lance felt his own smile tugging his lips and huffed a laugh as he and Tiroth shared a moment. Had anyone else been around Lance would easily tell them that the smoothness of his and Tiroth’s friendship was because of the classic Blue Paladin _charm_ that allowed them to get along despite the rocky start.

But the truth was...Lance felt _something_ for Tiroth. A sort of...respect and comradery whenever he trained with him. Not that his own team didn’t do a good job of that, but...lately it seemed as if they didn’t have...faith in Lance. Sure they set him up with a cool, fancy tutor to improve his hand to hand skills but the hesitancy that he saw all of them (even Coran!) display when Allura voiced her piece just _stuck_ with him. Was Lance the greatest pilot on the team?

Okay, well he’s big enough to admit that maybe, _sometimes_ , _on occasion_ his focus gets a _little_ disrupted. But just a little.

Is he serious when he’s supposed to be?

Well he takes his _missions_ seriously and he hasn’t had any issues so far. But so what if Lance liked to joke around and lighten the mood a little? Was that a crime?

Does he always do what he’s told?

Well he definitely follows orders better than _Keith_.

Does Lance pull his own weight on the team?

….Okay that one was a little loaded. Sure Lance didn’t have a _specific_ , defined role like leader, or hacker, or mechanic, or cool, half-alien with membership to the outer space purple koala cool kidz club but he’s good in his own right!...Isn’t he?...But….the team...sure seemed to think that they needed to keep an extra eye on Lance lately.

“Lance?”

Lance flinched at the sound of his name and was startled to see Tiroth leaning in closely, his warm breath brushing against Lance’s cheek as he observed him with a critical eye.

“Are you well? I called your name but you did not respond.” Tiroth breathes peering down at Lance like he was attempting to figure out the issue without Lance having to say anything.

“Oh, man, sorry Tiroth.” Lance apologized brushing away his thoughts and trying to get rid of his lingering doubts. “My mind just sorta wandered off, it won’t happen again.”

Despite Lance’s assurances Tiroth immediately looks unsettled rather than reassured.

“Your mind...left?” He asked slowly, rolling over the question. Lance nodded.

“Yeah it’s like...you sorta just forget what you’re doing or where you are so your mind just...wanders away.” Lance says, attempting to explain it. If anything Tiroth just appears further confused.

“Well...if you ever suffer from some...ailment again please inform me.” Tiroth finally replies, nodding slowly. Lance murmurs an agreement. Before long Tiroth has him settling a few steps back to complete their training. Lance resists the urge to grimace as his knees begin to creak every time he moves to stand back up after being thrown to the ground.

Seriously, would it kill Allura and Coran to install some nice foam flooring in the training room? Lance bruises like a summer peach and his legs are one of his best features!

Just as Lance is begin to voice his complaints Tiroth finally, _finally_ calls an end to their training. Lance breathes a sigh of relief and does a few squats, trying to stretch out the soreness of his knees.

“Are you gunna stay for dinner?” Lance asks as he spreads his legs and reaches down to touch the floor.

“Unfortunately I must decline.” Tiroth responds, walking over to the soft towels by the door. “I am needed on the base.”

“Galra babies givin you trouble?” Lance asks, a grin creeping onto his face as he begins lowering himself into a split.

“The kits are of no issue- they know the consequences for any misbehavior whilst I am not present.” Tiroth says, walking over to Lance and holding out a clean towel for him. Lance smiles, grateful and begins wiping away the perspiration gathering on his neck and forehead. “It is my comrades that wish for me to return once your lessons have finished.”

Lance nods in understanding and lets out a grunt as he stands up, shooting Tiroth a small smile.

“Maybe next time you can stick around?” Lance offers as he begins leading Tiroth out of the training deck. “Cuz you’re really missing out this time- Hunk’s making Space Lasagna for dinner.” Lance says excitedly, his stomach giving a low growl as they begin trekking  in the direction of the Castle’s main ship bay. Tiroth nods and doesn’t make to question what ‘space lasagna’ is, instead deciding to silently listen as Lance babbled on their way to Tiroth’s ship.

Upon arriving Lance slowly quieted his one sided conversation and turned to face his Galra companion as he began climbing into his pod.

“See you tomorrow!” He yelled out as Tiroth began lowering the protective shields of his ship. “And have fun with your lightly murderous Galra children!” Lance adds as Tiroth offers a departing wave of his hand and flies silently out of the hanger.

Lance stands around for a moment longer, watching to make sure the bay doors fully closed before turning quickly on his heel and speed walking in the direction of the dining room. Hunk had made sure to time dinner coincide with the end of Lance’s training after the first day had Lance crawling out of the medical bay with a bound foot and a grumbling stomach, Hunk had made sure to have a hot plate waiting for him as soon as Lance finished saying ‘adieu’ to his new Galra friend.

Spotting the doors to the dining room slightly ahead, Lance sped up his pace and turned to face the door just as it began sliding open.

“What up fives, your ten is here.” Lance announced as he strolled into the room, everyone but a certain yellow paladin present.

Pidge glanced up from where they were hunched over their laptop settled on the table and shot him a frown.

“You’re sweaty.” They state with a grimace and push their chair away from him once Lance bounded over and fell into the chair beside them.

“So are Keith’s hands, but you don’t see anyone else complaining.” Lance replies, smoothly unfolding the napkin beside his plate and settling it in his lap because Lance is a _classy motherfucker_ and he didn’t sit through six months of etiquette lessons for nothing.

“I don’t have sweaty hands.” Keith immediately protests, a frown plaguing his face as he leaned over Shiro to shoot Lance a glare from down the table.

“Yeah you do.” Lance says, a large grin creeping on his face.

“ _No_ I don’t” Keith grits out, his tight grip on his spoon slightly bending the metal in his hand.

“Tiroth said that Galra sweat out of their paws just like _kitties_ and _you’re_ half-galra so...yeah ya do.” Lance says, leaning back in his chair with an air of smug satisfaction practically clinging to his skin. He ignores the hostile air growing stronger just a few chairs away and bounces in his seat excitedly when he hears the door slide open and Hunk walks in with a covered Altean serving plate in hand.

“Hey Lance!” He greets, a bright smile on his face. “Did you finish for the day?” He asks, tilting his head curiously as he set the heavy dish down on the table. Lance is eyeing it as he answers the other paladin’s question.

“Yup. I asked Tiroth if he wanted to stay for dinner but he had other stuff to do.” Lance replies, leaning forward eagerly as Hunk unclasped the lid, revealing a crispy, gooey, green topping on a deep rectangular dish.

“I present- Space Lasagna!” Hunk proudly announced, pushing the large dish forward.

“Awww yeah come to daddy.” Lance cheered, immediately reaching for the spatula held out by Hunk. Lance bit his lip in delight as he cut himself a thick square of goo-noodles and whatever that orange looking sauce was. As soon as he dumped the steaming pile of food on his plate he immediately handed off the serving tool to Pidge who whined about how they _‘wanted a corner piece!’_ and now had to cut away at a different section because Lance got to the platter first. Lance ignores them and immediately stabs his fork into the thick cut green noodles Hunk made.

Lance was so busy shoveling food into his mouth he didn’t notice Shiro asking him a question until Pidge elbowed him in the side.

“What up big man?” Lance asked, careful to not put his shirt into his dinner as he leaned his body forward to see around Pidge and Hunk. Shiro smiled slowly and repeated his question.

“I asked how your training has been going with Tiroth.” He said, his fork absently moving his food around his plate as he watched Lance expectantly.

“Oh...uh things have been good? I think?” Lance responded, a pensive look coming onto his face as he attempted to recall Tiroth’s final remarks about his progress before he left. A barely muffled snort sounded from Shiro’s side of the table.

“Shut up Keith!” Lance immediately hissed, trying to catch sight of his mullet haired teammate. Keith appeared from where he was hidden behind Shiro’s bicep.

“I didn’t even say anything!” He immediately defended, but not _denying_ that he was in fact the one who snorted.

The _disrespect_.

“Well you _thought_ it and that’s all the proof I need.” Lance huffed, crossing his arms and accidentally stabbing himself with his fork. Keith’s brows furrowed in annoyance.

“Thought _what_ ? You can’t _read_ minds, you don’t know what I was thinking!” He fired back. Lance is subtly trying to massage his injured forearm from where he almost punctured the skin and simultaneously glare at Keith. He opens to mouth to reply when Allura suddenly cuts him off.

“Paladins! Please!” She exclaims, her fingers clasped tightly in front of her. Lance instantly deflates and silences his grumblings, because Lance ,despite what some may believe, was not a moron and like _fuck_ was he gunna defy the one person at the table that could genuinely make him fear for his life (the other was Pidge).

Lance uses his fork to cut down the thick noodles on his plate down to smaller pieces and absently lifts his head whenever something in the conversation catches his interest. When the dish Hunk brought dinner out in has been wiped clean Lance is just about ready to take a nappy nap right on the table. It’s only Allura clearing her throat to catch their attention that stop him from dozing off.

“Earlier today Coran and I were testing the long-range scanners that were fastened to Hunk and Pidge’s experimental waste detection software.” She began, a pleased expression on her face.

“Yeah.” Pidge interjected, straightening in their seat. “Based on all the collected data from the Galra ships we’ve faced off against it seems like whenever a Cargo class or higher needs to make a pitstop, they expel collected trash in their incinerators to save on fuel until they can reload.” Pidge says, grinning widely as Allura nods from her position at the head of the table.

“Wait, so the Galra are _litterbugs_?” Lance asks, indignance clear in his voice. Lance can see Keith roll his eyes so hard all the way down the table he’s surprised they don’t fall out of his head.

“As if _you_ care about the environment.” He scoffs. And what the hell?! Keith’s being so much _snippier_ than usual, which is saying something because even on a good day he’s just a _know-it-all little bitch_.

“I was the President of the Ocean Life Conservation Club back at the Garrison, Asshole!” Lance yells, standing up from his chair. His full stomach instantly protests at the quick movement, cramping slightly.

“Okay, okay.” Shiro sooths, also rising from his seat. “There’s nothing wrong with caring about the environment.” He says, attempting to placate Lance and apologizing in Keith’s stead. Lance’s stomach has begun to throb and rather than milk the situation because apparently even Shiro’s noticed Keith’s cranky-pants attitude if he’s apologizing _for him_ . He instead decides to sit down and place a hand over his cramping side- _why_ were there always consequences for overindulging?

The diffusion of the situation must be the cue for Allura to continue talking.

“As Pidge stated, the program that they created as well as the implant Hunk installed to the Castle’s scanners all mean that we will be able to locate ships low on fuel.” She says, her smile wavering slightly as her eyes meet with Shiro’s before pointedly glancing at Keith.

“And that means we won’t need to form Voltron for when we board them.” Pidge adds grinning. “The castle’s defenses should have us covered because if the main ship is taking up a majority of the fuel then that means less fighters.”

“Which also means we can just sneak aboard, grab the information, and then sneak right back out!” Hunk exclaims, a satisfied expression on his face. Lance suspects it has to do with the _lack_ of fighting they’d be doing if their plan works.

“Great job guys.” Shiro says, offering a soft smile to Hunk and Pidge who both puff up their chests in pride. Allura nods in agreement.

“Yes, excellent work! In the morning we’ll put this to the test, if successful this could prove most advantageous.” She says, a fist clenched in promise as she speculated the possibilities. Lance was nodding in understanding, grinning widely at Hunk when Allura’s words suddenly caught up with him.

“Wait.” He interjected, drawing the eyes of everyone at the table to him. “In the _morning_?” He asked, incredulously. “But Tiroth usually flies in after breakfast for my training.” Lance says, confusion clouding his face. Why hadn’t they told him about it earlier? Then he’d...he’d at least have been able to give Tiroth a better send off, maybe offer him a nude or two because Lance liked starting drama.

Allura’s face also creases in confusion and she turns to look at Keith who is sinking down in his chair.

“Keith,” She says, addressing him with a slight frown, “I thought you said you’d tell Lance that today would be his last lesson with Tiroth.”

Keith torso is on the chair, right where his butt should be and he’s refusing to look at Allura. “I forgot.” He mumbles, clearly not willing to elaborate as he tucks his hands under his elbows and sits unmoving on the chair. Allura sighs lightly and shoots Lance an apologetic look.

“My apologies Lance.” She says. “I know you’ve grown to consider Tiroth a friend. Perhaps the next time Kolivan visits I could request that he invite Tiroth along as well.” She offers. Lance puts a finger to his lips, thinking for a moment. Tiroth hadn’t exactly hid the fact that his ‘den mother’ role on the base was pretty important so Lance always felt a twinge of regret whenever he’d send Tiroth home tired, knowing he still had to deal with twelve plus crying Galra kits once he got there.

“Nah,” Lance shakes his head. “Tiroth’s already got plenty on his plate. He doesn’t need me peeking over his shoulder and trying to get him to go out for Piña Coladas.”

No matter how much Lance may think Tiroth should kick back and enjoy a nice drink, Tiroth is a master of his own destiny. And he wants his destiny to be the giver of animal crackers and juice boxes. Lance had mad respect for a person like that.

Allura nods in understanding even though her eyes flicker in confusion over his chosen words.

Lance begins to drown out the rest of the conversation, the satisfying weight of food in his stomach and the warm air blowing from the vents due to the fixed thermoregulator all slowly lulling him to sleep. Just as his eyes are about to slip closed a hand suddenly lands on his shoulder, jolting him awake, and making him kick away from the table. Lance turns to face a blank faced Keith and a table devoid of others.

“You drifted off while Allura was telling us to head to our rooms for the night.” Keith informs him. Lance makes a quiet _‘oh’_ sound and stands up, absently noting that Keith had not removed his hand from his shoulder and instead let it slip off when Lance rose from his chair. Without exchanging any more words the two began walking in the direction of their rooms side by side, shoulders occasionally brushing.

“Sorry you couldn’t say goodbye to Tiroth.” Keith mumbles, his words barely audible despite the silence of the hall. Lance glances at the Red Paladin out of the corner of his eye as they approach the corner that will take them to the corridor holding both their rooms.

“It’s alright.” Lance shrugs. “I liked him, he was a cool dude.”

“Yeah, it _seemed_ like you liked him.” Keith says under his breath, but Lance still hears him. Raising a brow, Lance turns his head.

“What’s that mean?” Lance asks, the edge of annoyance seeping into his voice. Keith’s been acting pretty snarky, not usually a cause for concern when it came to Lance- but usually the attitude is because Lance _did_ something to set him off and he can’t recall doing _anything_ noteworthy in the last few days.

“Kolivan said you had to stop hitting on Blade members.” Keith says, turning his own head to meet Lance’s gaze. His lips are pursed and he’s staring at Lance with stormy eyes.

“Yeah I know, I was _there_.” Lance sasses as they slow to a stop in front of Keith’s room. If anything Keith’s expression tightens at Lance’s response.

“Well if you know _so much_ , then why did I walk into the training room today to see you putting your hands all over Tiroth’s _chest_?” Keith hisses, pushing his face closer to Lance’s and gazing deeply into his eyes. Lance almost startles backwards at the sudden movement but reigns in control of himself before narrowing his own eyes back on the Red Paladin.

“I thought you said you forgot to come tell me that it would be me and Tiroth’s last day of training.” Lance states, straightening his back and returning Keith’s glare, which faltered slightly before returning equally as intense.

“We’re not talking about that, we’re talking about _you_ putting our alliances at ris-”

“Would it kill you to have a little faith in me?” Lance grits out, eyes flashing in hurt at the slight accusation that he couldn’t draw the line between personal and paladin duties. Keith seems to spot the micro expression of sadness because his anger immediately slips away.

“I-I didn’t say-”

“But you were implying it!” Lance cuts him off, anger beginning to bubble in his gut before Lance took slow breaths to ease away his temper. “I wasn't...I wasn’t trying to _get_ with Tiroth. It’s just that yesterday... I tried to scratch him to get out of a hold but my nails were too blunt...so I filed them and tried to see if they could get through his Marmora armor.” Lance admits, looking down and refusing to meet Keith’s gaze. “I wasn’t putting anything at risk.” Lance says quietly and  turns away, hoping to escape to his room.

“I’m sorry.”

Lance freezes at the words, turning to look at Keith who was shuffling awkwardly behind him.

“I wasn’t trying to make it seem like I didn’t believe in you.” He adds. “I was just trying to make sure that you...and the team would be okay.”

Keith looks so out of his element, his hands tightly gripping the fabric of his shirt as he shuffled from foot to foot looking incredibly uncomfortable. Lance is about to open his mouth to speak when he’s suddenly struck with a memory of his and Tiroth’s conversation earlier that day. _‘Galra sires and dams don’t typically have much of a hand in the rearing of their young beyond a certain amount of cycles’_. Lance feels his mouth click shut. Because...

How could he forget?

Unlike the rest of them...Keith had almost always been alone. Lance had been devastated just at the thought but Keith...Keith had _lived_ it.

Suddenly Lance didn’t feel as angry about the constant concern Keith seemed to express over the integrity of their alliances. Because the team...was all Keith had. Outside of him, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Allura, and Coran...was there anyone else there for Keith? Anyone at all?

Keith shifts again in front of him, gazing at Lance with furrowed brows.

“I’m sorry too.” Lance sighs. Keith’s eyes shine in confusion, probably wondering what he was apologizing for. Honestly? Lance didn’t know either. The heaviness of the situation is weighing down on Lance so he does what he does best.

He lightens it.

“Tell you what.” Lance begins, a slight grin beginning to form as he leans in close to whisper. “You promise to lay off a little and _I_ promise to not go hunting for some Galra dick. Deal?”

Keith chokes on his own spit and begins coughing as Lance stretches out a hand to shake on their agreement. Keith isn’t able to get full control of his breathing so Lance just pries away one of his hands clenched around his black shirt and shakes it, adding a harsh slap to his back to hep with his breathing and sauntering away once he hears Keith begin to take steadier breaths.

“Goodnight mullet head!” Lance calls out as he reaches his door, uncaring if his loud yell disturbed any of the others resting in their rooms. Lance doesn’t wait for a response and enters his room, settling down on his bed and resolving to wake up early for a shower and do some heavy duty exfoliation.

Lance digs under his pillow for his sleeping mask and settles it over his forehead as he quickly changes into his pajamas before flopping back down on his bed, bouncing slightly with the sponginess of the mattress. Lance breathes slowly through his nose, and settles under the covers, his muscles losing the tension of the day.

As Lance begins to drift off into a peaceful sleep he can’t help but imagine Keith- a younger, smaller Keith ,all alone and lost in the world. And suddenly his sleep isn’t peaceful at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo this ending was way sadder than i originally intended it to be but maybe this is just the residual effect of over the counter medication 
> 
> Dont do (Hard) Drugs Kids ...or do. im a stranger over the internet not a cop.
> 
> as for next time::chapter title: all according to keikaku  
> i think yall can guess what itll be about. but if not- lancey pants puts his talents to the test.
> 
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	8. all according to keikaku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance spots a chance to test out the waters of his fanbase and space dad is stressed(but what else is new?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooooo im sorry i didn't update last week yall are probably used to a chapter around the weekends by now . but two of professors had to cancel classes for the week and another has a sub in for a few weeks so ive been tryin to adjust and finish the work they left for us but i think i should be getting back into my rhythm pretty soon

“Wow. You look horrible.”

Lance barely looked up from where he was lying, slumped over the dining room table, instead deciding to lift his hand and flip off the speaker.

A snort of amusement led him to the conclusion that it was probably Pidge who had voiced their _very unnecessary and rude opinion_.

Lance sighed and lifted his head, trying to ignore the ache in his eyes and head, evidence from his sleepless night.

The thing about Lance is that he has a _set_ schedule. Maybe it was because of the fact that as a kid he tried to fit as much as he could into a day so he got into the habit of _writing that shit down_ and then sticking to it like glue. But out in space there were things Lance _couldn’t_ do anymore so his suddenly small daily agenda became pretty important to him. Of course they were pretty simple things like ‘get a full night of beauty sleep’ ‘take a warm shower in the morning’, ‘beat Keith to the dining room’, ‘hog Hunk’s imitation orange juice until Shiro forces him to share’, ‘beat Keith to the lounge’, ‘listen to some rad workout music while babysitting the mice’, and ‘just be overall awesome’. It was simple, straightforward, and easy.

Or at least it _should’ve_ been. But instead Lance laid awake most of the night thinking of Keith’s tragic backstory and about how _lonely_ baby-Keith must’ve been.

It was pretty obvious to anyone who spent more than fifteen minutes with Lance that he was a bit of a bleeding heart. Lance McClain was _soft_ beneath his rugged, hot, gun-slinging exterior. Soft enough to lay awake, thinking about his kind-of-a-jerk teammate who was also not-really-that-much-of-a-jerk and feel bad for him. If Keith ever found out that Lance did that he’d probably pound him into a pulp on the training deck. And probably not even in the hot way. Probably.

“Alright team I hope you all got a good night’s rest.”

Lance resisted the urge to whine and instead lifted his bleary eyes to take in Shiro, who looked more refreshed than he had a right to be. That man’s blood was made almost entirely of that shitty Altean coffee and pure force of will. How he hasn’t collapsed yet remains a mystery for someone who knows more than Lance.

Shiro was already dressed up in his armour, the white chestplate practically gleaming.

He shined his armour.

Lance could tell.

Out of all of them-Shiro wore his paladin suit like a boy scout badge of honor and Lance had a sneaking suspicion that it was because Shiro was a secret LARPer and this whole Voltron gig was a dream come true for him.

The appearance of Allura behind Shiro had Lance straightening in his seat and rubbing at his eyes to get rid of the urge to let them slip closed.

“We will be approaching the target ship soon.” Allura reported, a small smile on her face as she stepped around Shiro to address the table of paladins. “You should suit up and report to the bridge as soon as we are finished here.” She finishes, approaching her usual spot at the head of the table. Lance barely pays her any mind before zeroing in on Hunk, who gladly reveals their newest experiment.

On the large serving platters are several light blue, flat disks. They’re too thin to be pancakes and are practically translucent, Lance notes when Hunk happily lifts one from the tall stack and dumps it on his plate before piling small scoops of the alien berries and whipped goo he had set out in smaller bowls. Everyone else begins following Hunk’s example, carefully adding their own toppings. Hunk has opted to fold the pancake-like blue shell in half like a taco and begin digging in. Shiro, Keith, and Allura all follow his example. Pidge folds theirs into three’s, like a pamphlet. And Lance goes through the slightly complex motions of folding his like a burrito because he’s extra and he wants to make sure everyone knows it.

Keith must notice because he raises a brow in Lance’s direction when he finally finishes rolling it into a smooth little log. Lance smirks, turning to face Keith (because he can’t resist proving a point to the Red Paladin) as he bites down into the soft, gummy, shell. Keith rolls his eyes and goes back to picking apart his breakfast with a fork, eating only the blue-apple looking fruits they got as a gift from planet Cerul 3-D4 in the Doguine System. Lance shrugs and shoves the rest of his bastard-burrito down his throat. Just as he finishes swallowing he hears a slight scoff beside him.

“That was so unnecessary Lance.” Pidge drawls, knees drawn up to their chest as they lean back in their chair. “You didn’t even _chew_ it.” They point out, offering the Blue Paladin a judgemental glare. Lance feels a smirk begin to creep onto his face, his earlier grogginess finally beginning to clear away.

“Pidgey, Pidgey, Pidgey,” Lance grins, throwing a hand over their shoulder so he could lean down to whisper in their ear. “You should know by now that I _always_ swallow.”

Lance feels the sudden heat of Pidge’s face at his words erupt on his cheek, which he has rested beside theirs. Lance pulls his head away fast enough to avoid ear damage when Pidge’s screeching begins, even tilting his head back to avoid them throwing up their arms to land a hopeful punch on his face.

“You’re so _gross_ !” They whine, in a high-pitched voice, face creased in comical disgust. “Have you no respect for the _children at the table_?!”

Lance snickers as he easily dodges the punches aimed at him. Years of avoiding thrown toys from angry toddlers is finally coming in clutch.

The clearing of a throat from the head of the table draws the attention of both the Green and Blue Paladins. Shiro is seated beside a confused Allura with an unimpressed expression staring them down. Pidge huffs and leans back in their chair, kicking their feet up on the table, looking all like a rebellious teen refusing to acknowledge their disapproving parent.

“Pidge.” Shiro says, an unvoiced demand in their voice.

And just like that- Pidge breaks like a two dollar toaster from ebay.

“Lance started it!” They immediately yell, jumping up in their seat and pointing an accusing finger in Lance’s face. “He was being all shameless!”

“That’s not news to anyone here.” Keith says, a bored expression on his face as he rests his head on the palm of his hand and begins picking out the blue-apple slices on Shiro’s plate.

“Well it should be!” Pidge mutters, kicking their legs out and turning to face Lance with bright, indignant eyes. “Why can’t you be more embarrassed of yourself like the rest of us!” They demand. Lance grins, resting his hand against his chin and glowing in happiness.

“My momma says that I’m perfect just the way I am.” He brags, fluffing his hair. Pidge pouts and turns away, likely smelling a lost cause.

The rest of their morning breakfast passes uneventfully- with Keith stealing apple slices from both Shiro and Hunk when they weren’t looking. (They both noticed but neither of them had the heart to stop the Red Paladin from pilfering their plates). Lance manages to shake off the last of his fatigue and heads to the bridge as soon as he finishes slipping on his armor and checking his hair. (Just because it’d be under a helmet didn’t mean it didn’t _matter_.)

Lance glides into the room, slipping into his seat and swiftly activating his control panel. The others are watching the front monitor closely, large chunks of ice,taking up a majority of the view. The castleship was floating alongside them in the ring of a nearby planet.

“So like...where is it?” Lance asks curiously, glancing around, searching for the Galra ship they were supposed to board.

“We are remaining outside their detection perimeter.” Allura replies, summoning a diagram of the planet they were orbiting. “Metriu is a gas giant, their magnetic poles are strong enough to allow your lions to remain undetected.” She adds, the illustration forming lines to represent the planet’s natural forces.

“According to Hunk and Pidge’s scanner the Galra should be passing by Metriu in just a few doboshes, we should head to our Lions and get into position.” Shiro orders, turning to face the room from his position at the helm.

Lance jumps up from his seat at the same time as the others and rushes towards his lift. Just before the door slides shut Lance lets his gaze wash over the diagram of Metriu one final time, committing it to memory.

This would be his first mission engaging with enemy Galra since Kolivan gave them the ‘what’s up’ on the Empire’s latest interests.

...Those interests being of the Blue variety.

Lance suddenly straightened, anticipation curling in his gut.

_This was his chance._

XxX

Shiro has them lay low behind the swirling yellow gases of Metriu as they wait to get the drop on their target. Lance is nervously tapping a random tune on his dashboard and occasionally glancing at the others through the video connection between them. Just as he opens his mouth to ask how much longer they’d be waiting, Pidge suddenly begins typing away in their Lion.

“I’ve detected activity approaching us!” They exclaim, their eyes flickering to meet the other paladins as they share their data through the Lion’s connection. Lance leans closer, genuinely interested in the offered map. The ship is cargo, he notes. That means more _live personnel_ and less sentries. Lance feels a grin curl at his lips and tightens his grip around Blue’s steering staffs.

_Perfect._

XxX

The five of them are able to board without much fanfare- looks like Pidge and Hunk were right about their theory, not that it surprised Lance.

Shiro leads the group, maneuvering through the halls and disposing of any sentries they come across before they could sound the alarm. Lance tightens his grip around his transformed bayard and keeps close to Keith as they turn in the direction of the cruiser’s bridge. Pidge stops at the door and is connecting their gauntlet to it while the others press themselves against the wall.

“Lance, Hunk.” Shiro whispers, drawing Lance’s eyes to him. “Both of you are on watch duty once we take care of any officers inside, got it?” He says, his dark eyes boring into Lance’s as they await his nod of agreement. Lance offers a sly smile and wink before turning back to face Pidge as they finally got through the door’s security measures. Lance crouches slightly, preparing to rush the door once it opens and incapacitate the Galra inside. Pidge takes their position beside Shiro and counts down with their fingers...3...2... _1_. The purple doors slide open without a sound and Lance immediately follows behind Keith, who targets the sentry stationed at the communications panel.

Lance turns his attentions to the officers seated along the right of the ship and fires his bayard to scatter them apart from each other. Behind him he can hear Hunk doing the same with the officers to the left of the ship.

The three Galra that had been sitting at their stations immediately duck for cover, separating from their comrades. Lance steps to the side, making room for Pidge who immediately charges them, firing their electrified bayard at one while Keith kicked the legs out from another. Lance lifted his bayard, propping it against his shoulder and preparing to release a stunning shot at the final Galra.

He doesn’t get a chance to.

Because _Keith-fucking-Kogane_ gets to him first.

Keith slices through the Galra’s blaster with his sword in one quick movement before turning on his heel and ramming the handle on his glorified toothpick into the forehead of the poor purple furby that never stood a chance.

“Hey!” Lance whines, lowering his gun and staring at Keith in disbelieving offense. “I had him first!”

Keith raises a brow before letting his gaze drop down to the Galra at his feet who he just knocked the fuck out.

“Well then, better luck next time.” He shrugs, kneeling down and summoning electra-bound cord. Lance huffs and turns to help Hunk and Shiro tie up the other two Galra they had taken down on their side.

With some effort, Lance helps Hunk drag the five Galra into the far corner of the room, giving Pidge free reign over the open panels. Lance grins, planting both hands on his hips and pushing himself up on the empty dashboard beside the mostly unconscious bunch of Galra.

“Alright, it’s exactly like what we’ve done before.” Shiro begins, already heading towards the doors with Keith by his side. “Keith and I will take care of any patrols that try to get into the room, Pidge you have at most ten doboshes before we have to leave.” Shiro instructs, giving them each a final look before exiting the room with Keith hot on his heels. Lance waves a hand goodbye in their direction before turning his head towards Pidge, who is slumped over the main control panel with Hunk peering over their shoulder.

Lance bites his lip and shifts his rifle over in his lap, allowing the heaviest side to lean on his thigh. He begins kicking his legs out, letting them swing back and forth as he waited for any sign that the Galra beside him might be waking up. Lance lets his gaze drop down to the grey armour of the Empire Galra who is less than a few inches away from where Lance is swinging his feet. Keith must’ve knocked the guy’s helmet off in their scuffle because Lance can see that an oddly maroon colored bruise is forming on his forehead. And he’s also drooling Lance notes in slight disgust.

Lance cringes as a glob of spit begins sliding down the side of the Galra’s mouth. Without thinking about it, Lance leaned forward, using the sleeve of his bodysuit to clean away the slobber. Smiling in satisfaction, he leaned back just in time to see wide yellow eyes watching him in muted bewilderment.

Lance jumped in surprise, pushing himself back on the dashboard and staring back at the Galra with a tight grip on his bayard.

The Galra’s eyes look slightly cloudy, confusion clear as they rock their body back and forth, testing their restraints.

“Yah, sorry bud that’s not gunna work.” Lance says, quickly glancing behind him to see if Pidge and Hunk have caught wind that one of the Galra is awake. The two are too engrossed with whatever is on Pidge’s gauntlet that they don’t seem to notice Lance striking up some friendly conversation...which it was.

“Soooooooo….” Lance begins, turning to face the Galra who is watching him with suspicious and dazed eyes. “What’s your name?”

The Galra’s head tilts up in surprise at the question before he frowns, his teeth peeking out of his bottom lip. He turns his head away, looking across the room and-

_Is he ignoring him?!_

Lance feels offense begin to rise in him and begins moving before he can stop himself. He jumps off his perch and begins crawling towards the bound Galra, a slightly indignant expression on his face as he settled down in front of the alien.

“Ya know it’s rude to ignore people.” Lance huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and peering up at the forced blank expression of the Galra. Lance knows for a fact that the Galra in front of him is not nearly as put together as he may appear. For one, the fur on the sides of his face is fluffed up slightly- which Lance has learnt from Tiroth meant a Galra in turmoil. Also they were swallowing hard, their throat trembling slightly as Lance leaned in closer.

“My name’s Lance.” Lance says lowly, introducing himself because momma didn’t raise no animal. Lance is about to stop-leave it at that and try to see just how deep he can sink his claws (because what Tiroth says is bulllshit, nicely filed nails _do_ make a difference). But another thought occurs to him first.

It’d be such a dick move.

So obviously he has to do it.

“But you might know me better as _Blue_ .” He adds smiling coyly because evidently momma _did_ raise a drama stirring little bitch.

The Galra freezes in front of him, their muscles going tense. Lance discreetly checks to make sure the cables are still holding tight. Their breath hitches and their yolk-colored eyes widen at the mention of his apparent alias.

It’s the biggest reaction Lance has gotten from them so far.

“Aaaahhhh.” Lance drawls, slightly excited. “So you _have_ heard of me?”

The Galra in front of him seems to be struggling with a response before settling on glaring up at Lance with a tight jaw.

“It is difficult to go through one cycle without hearing your identifier mentioned.” He grits out, seeming reluctant to speak to Lance at all.

Lance’s grin widens.

“And are _you_ one of the one’s who mentions it?” He asks, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

At his words the Galra’s eyes narrow and he scowls down at Lance in all his furby Galra glory.

“I am not of _weak blood_ like some of my comrades.” He grits out, staring directly into Lance’s eyes with a severe expression. “And your pelvic sorcery will not induce my compliance.”

Lance isn’t sure what face he’s making but he’s pretty sure it’s a mix between flattered and confused.

“Does that mean you think I’m hot?” He asks.

“LANCE!”

Lance bolts up from his kneeling position, startled, before whipping around to the sound of his name. Pidge is staring at him with an incredulous expression while Hunk is also watching him with an expression caught between fondness and exasperation.

“What?” Lance asks innocently.

“Are you seriously trying to chat up our prisoners?” Pidge asks, frowning at him in a slightly tired manner.

Lance pretends to think for a moment, putting a finger against his lips in thought before answering.

“Yeah.” He shrugs in a manner he hope seems adorably casual because that’s about the only thing that’ll stop Pidge from calling in Shiro.

“Shiro! Get in here!” Pidge calls out not even a second later, turning on their comms.

Lance gapes.

“Pidge, you freakin _narc_!” He yells, betrayed. Pidge has an expression of little sympathy and instead turns back to the monitor in front of them, muttering some annoyed curses as they continued attempting to download the ship’s information.

At the sight of their struggling Lance straightened up, frowning. It didn’t usually take this long for Pidge to retrieve information from something as simple as a cargo ship…

The sound of the door to the control room opening is enough to draw Lance’s attention to where Shiro is entering, looking slightly concerned.

“What happened?” He asks, his gaze flickering around the room. Pidge doesn’t turn around to face him, too involved with whatever they’re doing on the Galra monitors.

“Our fellow Blue Paladin is asking our Galra captives to rate his hotness.” Pidge replies, their brow creased in concentration as they met roadblock after roadblock on the monitor.

Shiro frowned and slowly turned to face Lance, who went back to swinging his legs back and forth on top of the dashboard.

“Lance.” Shiro sighed, looking all the world like he’d rather be doing anything else. “ _Please_ tell me you weren't doing what Pidge said you were doing.”

“I wasn’t doing what Pidge said I was doing.” Lance replies, mumbling slightly as he kicked his leg closer to the awake Galra, who leant away like it was made of poison.

Shiro closed his eyes, shoulders slumping, and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _‘why me?’_

“Alright but this time I’m actually telling the truth,” Lance insists and can’t resist adding,“besides I don’t need anyone to _rate_ me. I think we can all appreciate that on a scale of one to ten, I’m a solid _twenty_.”

Pidge snorts and Lance, because he’s a _good-fucking person_ with a heart that _shits_ gold, doesn’t throw anything at them.

Shiro raises a brow, looking wholly unconvinced.

So clearly Lance needs to get him to see the light.

“Okay,” Lance begins, sighing, “I was trying to test out the Lancession.” He concedes.

If anything, Shiro looks even more confused.

“The what?” He asks.

At his inquiry Lance immediately perks back up.

“The _Lancecession_ .” He repeats. “It’s a mix between Lance,” He says, happily pointing to himself,”and obsession. The _Lancecession_!” Lance throws in some jazz hands at the end for the sake of theatrical drama.

Shiro doesn’t reply, instead simply staring at Lance.

Lance hopes that it’s in admiration of that genius adlib because Lance was pretty freaking proud of that.

“The Blue one tells lies.” The Galra behind them says, still scowling and pretending as though he totally wouldn’t stare at Lance’s cute ass if he had his back to them.

“I most certainly would _not_ !” The Galra yells indignantly. It occurs to Lance that maybe he should work on _not_ accidentally speaking his thoughts aloud.

“Did you just call your own ass _‘cute’_?” Pidge asks, grimacing as they finally began the downloading process.

“Uh, yeah?” Lance shrugs. “You guys know that this suit makes my booty _pop_.” Lance says, turning slightly to display the proof.

Pidge examines with a critical eye before shaking their head in denial.

“Can’t see it.” They shrug.

Lance puffs up in indignation

“Well what would you know?” He argues, turning back around. “You've got the flattest ass of everyone here, second only to _Keith_.”

“So?” Pidge replies, raising a brow. “It's _just_ a butt.”

 _“Don’t disrespect the beauty of the booty!”_ Lance screams passionately because if there’s one thing Lance will die to defend-it’s ass.

“Alright I am officially putting an end to this conversation.” Shiro interjects, looking distinctly pained. “Lance go stand in the corner.”

“Wah?!-”

“ _Now_.” Shiro replies, his tone leaving no room for argument. Lance huffs and jumps off his perch, grumbling as he walks in the direction where Shiro is pointing. Lance stands with arms crossed, quiet protests escaping his lips the longer he waits. It feels like he stands in the corner, staring at the wall for hours when in reality it was probably like...five doboshes.

Lance would still claim that was unfair.

Just when Lance is about to begin kicking the wall out of boredom (just like he did when he was put in time-outs as a kid), Pidge yells their data collection completion. Taking that as a signal, Lance immediately whips around and joins the other three paladins, who were finishing the final touches on Pidge’s software storage.

“ _Fiiiiinnnnnaaaallllyyyyy_.” Lance groans hopping up to them.

“Go. Start heading back while we wrap things up here. Tell Keith that we’ll meet you guys at the Lions.” Shiro informs him, clapping him slightly on the shoulder. Lance nods, relieved to be allowed to move around again- nobody put baby in a corner.

Just before he makes his way out of the doors, Lance spots the Galra he’d been trying to talk to watching him out of the corner of his eye.

Lance grins and just as he steps past the door, turns and wiggles his fingers in goodbye. The Galra scowls something fierce and turns his head away.

Lance isn’t fooled.

As much as he may deny it- that Galra thinks that Lance McClain has got it _going on._

XxX

Overall despite the mission’s success and the happiness Allura and the others had expressed at Pidge and Hunk’s new software-he hadn’t gotten much more info than he already had. He possibly, maybe, _could’ve_ gotten more if he’d been more discreet while chatting up the Galra but it seemed like he’d just have to stick with what he had for the time being.

Well.

There’d always be next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance's justification is easily simmered down to : it's for science. also do yall like my guardians of the galaxy reference
> 
> next time:  
> we get a look to how things are going for the galra.  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	9. OwO what's this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how things have progressed for the galra lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you all know that the title is appropriate since the galra are practically furries. forgive me keith, forgive me kolivan it was not my intent to besmirch you

The Blue Paladin was steadily becoming a _problem_.

Any commanding officer within the Empire knew that to be true. Because problems led to _reports_ and reports led to _summons_ and summons led to _Emperor Zarkon_ and Emperor Zarkon led to… _difficulties_.

Every supervisor, even those part of Zarkon’s most favored audience, walked a fine line. Quotas were to be met, shipments were to leave and arrive _directly_ on time, and distractions were to be dealt with _immediately_.

So far incidents had been contained and Emperor Zarkon was none the wiser about the...issue.

But even so, issues had their way of popping up again.

XxX

It had been dismissed as a passing fancy at first.

Smuggled footage from the break in at Sector 5Q-Y98 of the Zerio System made it’s way throughout the communication legion serving beneath Commander Hocx.

It was simply so inconceivable. That was what caught attention of the numerous officers ordered to evaluate the recordings of the Voltron Paladins disarming and neutralizing the soldiers in charge of the attacked base.

The action by the Paladin was quick. Hardly much of a time slot within the entirety of the footage. But it scarcely needed longer than a tic to capture the attention of the coordinating officers.

The story changed every time, and versions varied depending on who was telling it but the generally accepted recount-  was that the officer closest to the door alerted others in the room to the...incident.

XxX

“Word has it that it was _that same_ officer who originally sent the footage to the neighboring communications service hub after they saw it.” A soldier would whisper to a huddled group ,in passing, as they all completed their duties in service to the Emperor.

“Who’s word?” Another, who didn’t quite believe there was in fact a recording _at all_ ,  would scoff. Then the response would be the same, every time- that another colleague heard it from someone in the engineering division, who was acquainted with a ship repair officer, who’d heard from someone in the decryption unit who’d seen it for themselves.

“Oh well isn’t _that_ convenient,” A member of the gathered group would scoff.

“It’s the _truth_!” The retelller would hiss indignantly. After all, one’s honor was being put on the line if accused of spreading falsehoods.

“How could it be?” The opposing Galra retorted. “You expect any of us to believe that a _Paladin of Voltron_ , Emperor Zarkon’s most condemned rebels, would _posture_ at Galra?”

The notion was ridiculous. Positively impossible.

But it was true.

Because that footage eventually made into the hands of those same workers by the end of the cycle.

Then by the end of the next cycle it had spread through the next ship dock, then the next, then the next, _then the next_ -

XxX

“It’s an infection,” Hissed a Commander to a table of similarly decorated officers.

“I agree.” Nodded another.

“My soldiers are acting as if they’ve reached maturity for the first time.” Another interjected, a frown curled at their lips as they made eye-contact with each of the Commanders seated beside them.

“And a _Paladin_ no less.” One grimaced in disgust. “It’s practically treason!”

“Yes!” Another immediately agreed. “What is it that they are seeing? The Blue one would hardly be  _my_ first choice for a mate.”

A barely muffled snort followed the Commander’s remark.

“I believe that sentiment would be shared.” Replied the Galra officer seated across from the Commander, whose eyes narrowed at the other.

“What do you imply, Commander Kavo?” He asked flatly. The General shrugged, leaning back in his chair.

“I mean no offense, friend.” He replies. “But you have a tendency to be quite...overbearing as I’ve heard from your men. And no one enjoys a caddish mate.”

“ _Caddish_?” The addressed Galra says, sounding unamused before turning to face the other Commander. “What would you know of what mates desire?” He asks, leaning forward and flicking the messy mane of his companion. “You are practically a cub yourself, and no one wants such a thinly maned mate.”

The aforementioned mane fluffs in indignance, matching the outrage of its owner.

“I am no more than a few movements younger than you.” The other Commander grits out, choosing to ignore the chortles of the table’s other occupants.

“Oh it’s more than a few, young one.” Another General pipes up from down the table, a wide grin pulling at her lips and revealing a row of blunt teeth with enlarged canines peeking out. “But you’re both at a loss.” They add, raising a hand and gesturing to both of them. “Neither of you would be suitable prospective mates, you’re far too brutish.” They scoff.

“Considering it is a Paladin of Voltron that is being discussed I hardly think that rough treatment would drive them away.” Another Galra comments, boredly. “Have none of you seen the extensive damage caused by that Altean led rebellion? The Blue one is hardly a delicate flower that needs a sensitive mate, Commander Mory.”

Commander Mory’s grin refuses to fade and instead she leans forward, putting weight on the table as she inches in the direction of the seemingly uninterested Galra.

“And what say you Commander Herkke?” She asks, eyes glittering in excitement at getting the typically silent Commander to speak. “Would you treat him like a flower? Or like the _little rebel he is?_ ”

Commander Herkke frowns, grimaces slightly and turns his head away from the probing Galra. “Your obsession with my preference in mating habits is quite vulgar.”

Commander Mory’s booming laughter fills the room, echoing through the empty hallways outside the closed door.

“So is that an agreement that I hear?” Mory asks, genuine glee in her expression.

“Why are we still discussing this?!” Commander Kavo asks, the maroon of his face and rise of his mane finally calming. “The Blue one is not even Galra!” He protests.

“He may not be Galra but he satiates me like no other Galra I’ve had before.” Mory purrs, ignoring Herkke’s look of disgust.

“Traitors.” Another Commander murmurs at the head of the table. “All of you are traitors.”

XxX

Interest and fascination was to be expected when confronted with the Blue one’s calls for relief. Even more so when the intended recipient was not made clear.

“It’s positively _scandalous_ !” One Galra hissed to another as they patrolled the corridors of a docking bay. “Putting out an _open_ display? No particularly intended mate?” They say incredulously as the group of two turns a corner. “It’s so _shameful_!”

“I wouldn’t say that.” The other Galra replies. “You _saw_ that posturing- it hasn’t been used in numerous decafeebs, why would something so antiquated be considered shameful?” They ask their companion who splutters in response, their cheeks flushing and eyes widening.

“Rythian,” The flustered Galra begins, addressing his companion. “The Blue one’s call is... _primal_ .” They whisper softly, glancing around as if fearing someone would overhear him speak. “Such a carnal call is sure to lead to unnecessary conflict between soldiers who may share a possible interest in... _answering_ the Blue one’s call.”

“So you fear the outbreak of violence.” Rythian notes, raising a brow at his younger companion. The younger Galra fiddles with their armour, adjusting the chestplate and maintaining his rapid pace down the corridor. “I fear you may have been deluded by the shows of bonding within the current films and available literature.” The older Galra replies, shaking his head. “Galra Honor demands courtship be followed nobly, to enter a brawl over a mating rights would be nothing short of savage.” Rythian states before a considering expression creeps up. “Though I do suppose that _‘roughness’_ with mating is what cubs entering maturity seem to be attracted to, is it not?”

The younger Galra companion begins sputtering, indignation and denial being choked out as the senior officer continued down the hall, a thoughtful front on as they continued their patrol.

XxX

“What do you suppose the Blue one’s scent is?” an inquisitive voice asks aloud.

“Officer Pithork,” A voice groans in the darkness of the barracks, “ _please_ , we have been assigned to the Vinlaria System’s Communication’s outpost and I would like to be rested enough to remain awake for the journey.”

XxX

“I believe I can finally sense of the appeal.” A Galra shrugs, settling down beside their companions all settled at a table in the cargo ship’s commissary.

“Appeal of what?” One asks, raising a brow in confusion.

“The Blue one,” their companion replies, offering a clenched hand in view of the others before opening it and revealing a rectangular card with a printed image on the front.

The table falls into a hushed silence, eyes drawn to the image displayed on the card.

“Is... Is that?”

“One of Officer Zoreke’s _Blue_ portraits from his collection? Yes.” The Galra replied, nodding before bringing the image closer to their face in order inspect the details further. The Blue one’s body was long and nicely proportionate with a softness that was not Galra but suited the Paladin nicely, something not clearly seen in the footage of him offering displays towards a Galra security monitor.

“And Zoreke...just _gave_ it to you?” One of the tables occupants asked, confusion and disbelief clear.

“Of course not!” The Galra replied. “He’s selling them for 500 GAC each, if you want one you’re going to have to hurry because he’s selling out quickly.”

XxX

“Supervisor Norvok, what are you doing?”

The addressed Galra startled at the sudden question, scrambling to clear their monitor before slowly turning to face their inspection partner who was watching them with a raised brow. Norvok tensed under the scrutiny, shifting in their chair as their partner slowly approached, silently offering a dark cannister likely filled with water.

“I was...filling out the inspection logs.” They said slowly, clearing their throat as they felt their partner’s eyes still resting heavily on them.

“That didn’t look like inspection logs to me.” They replied slowly, eyes fixating on the cleared monitor. “They looked more like...writings.” They finish.

Norvok quickly flipped open the dark cannister and began drinking as their partner began approaching.

“Why would you hide away  writings…?” They asked suspiciously.

“Am I to be persecuted for desiring a space where I can enjoy a leisurely read?” Norvok fires back, rising slightly in his chair and hoping the display of annoyance would be enough to get the other Galra to leave the matter to rest. They did not seem convinced.

“So you enjoy reading do you?” They ask, brow raised as they leant a hip against the office dashboard where Norvok’s monitor was settled.

“ _Yes_.” Norvok replied tensely, fingers twitching as they fiddled with their cannister.

“Do you have a favorite writer?” They ask casually, eyes inquisitive as they sit down beside Norvok’s station.

Norvok’s jaw tensed at the question, eyes flittering around his partner’s expression before offering a reluctant answer.

“Of course.”

“Pray tell, what is it?” They reply, slightly curious expression as they fall into their seat beside Norvok, crossing their arms in front of them. Both Galra stare each other down, yellow eyes gazing at each other as they both grow increasingly anxious in the silence that follows. Finally Norvok opens his mouth speak, expression pained.

“...merla_queen_of_darkness.”

XxX

“I heard that Commander Vero of the 112th Legion faced off against the Paladins of Voltron in battle and he was thrown near Blue just before getting knocked out.”

“And...how is the humiliation of one of the Empire’s greatest Commanders a topic of speculation?”

“Apparently after he woke up he was babbling to the healers how the Blue Paladin smelt like Yaruba berries and spiced Zerti.”

XxX

“This infatuation has gone on for far too long.” One of the gathered Commanders voiced, eyes narrowing on the information tablet resting in front of him. “Production in the shipyard is down almost 3%, if it it rises any higher and production continues to fall, I’ll have Central Command asking questions.”

“I’m in the same situation.” Another sighed, kicking back from the table and leaning back to stare at the ceiling, a forlorn expression on their face. “How can one so small hold so much power?” They ask softly.

“It’s witchcraft!” One grouches from the end of the table. “Just as that witch has the Emperor’s ear, so too does the Blue Paladin of Voltron have the captive attention of the Galra!”

“Oh please,” another scoffs, “pretty faces and nice eyes are hardly capable of toppling Empires.”

“Don’t be dim Commander Wrathor!”  A protest immediately rises, one of the Galra straightening in their chair as they glare at the others. “The Blue one’s enchantment over the soldiers have already proven to be effective, the Paladin’s image has even leaked into the civilian populace and his power only grows with each passing cycle!”

“You lose yourself, Reonor!” Another argues. “The Paladins have no magic! If so why would they employ it within such a manner, and only with the Blue Paladin no less! He is the only one who has thus far used any application of seduction and even then it was a call of loneliness, hardly the raunch affair you are making it out to be.”

“The Blue One is dangerous!” Reonor insists, tightening his hands into fists and glaring at the Galra gathered around the table. “He has weaponized his body and turned some of our best soldiers into-into-into _stumbling cubs!_ ”

“What then, is your proposal to resolve this issue?” A bored Galra asks, the slightest bit of annoyance tugging at his expression.

“I propose we dissolve the decree forbidding fraternization among the officers.” Reonor answers, eyes serious as he gazed around the disbelieving table of Generals.

“And allow the opportunity for _more_ distraction to enter the forces?!” One asks, incredulously. “That policy has been in place since before the Empire began! We can’t simply _request_ for it to be removed!”

“If the soldiers had the opportunity to fixate on something else, then the Blue one’s effect would be broken!” Reonor replies, eyes fierce and nearly desperate as they argue with the table of Galra Commanders. “Their enchantment will have lost!”

“Reonor, you may find this difficult to accept but there is _no enchantment_. No one, not even Zarkon’s witch, could hold the power necessary to cast such a massive ritual!” Another Commander shouts. “What is with your insistence on there being a magical cause to all of this?”

Reonor falls silent, the muscles in his jaw twitching as he sat tensely in his seat. Suddenly, realization began dawning on the inhabitants of the room.

“I don’t believe it….” Wrathor began, eyes widened in astonishment.

“Be silent, Wrathor.” Reonor grit out, fists trembling as he lifted a hand to hide his expression from the other Commanders.

“You’ve become entranced as well haven’t you!” Wrathor shouted, rising from his seat and pointing at Reonor, who was steadily growing angrier.

“That’s why you wanted to abolish the fraternization policy!” He realized. “You were hoping it would stop your interest in the Blue Paladin!”

“ _I ordered you to be quiet!_ ”

XxX

Merla liked to believe that she was doing well for herself.

She was performing well in her assigned courses, she found happiness in practicing and sharing her writings, and she was only a few cycles away from completing her mandatory education from the Empire.

Everything was fine.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t great.

But it was very _fine_.

Of course that was subject to change when she began receiving messages from an encrypted source- questioning her about the extent of her education, whether she accepted requests to craft commission works, and whether she’d be interesting in signing a work contract for an indeterminate amount of time. Now Merla may not have been the highest ranked pupil within her education institution, but she knew opportunity when she saw it.

Without hesitating for a moment longer Merla immediately began writing a response to the inquiring individual, looking to find out more about her future employer and what she could get out of their arrangement.

XxX

“Have you heard of the trading planet Atie?” Soldiers asked one another, as ships docked and departed to various destinations within the Empire.

“Supposedly it holds a trove of treasures, according to soldiers who have docked there to retrieve supplies.”

“What sorts of treasures?”

“Treasure of the _blue_ variety.” They’d whisper to each other. “Supposedly a few Galra within the Empire have established connections with merchants on Atie and privately produce and distribute these wares.”

“That’s dangerous.” A few would shake their heads, “if a commanding officer were to catch someone with something like that in their possession they could be carted off to Central Command.”

“Well apparently many don’t really seem to care considering Galra are the top clients for these traders- I’ve even heard that one of those stall owners was selling the Blue one’s _fur_.”

“Absurd. How would a simple stall owner obtain something that would require close contact with the Blue Paladin while the Empire struggles to corner Voltron?”

XxX

“Commander Reonor’s ship was attacked while passing by Metriu.” A Galra informed a group gathered by the hanger of a battlecruiser, heading towards distress signals of another Galra ship.

“Commander Reonor?” Another asked, surprise clear in their voice. The Galra nodded affirmatively.

“Supposedly it was the Paladins of Voltron who boarded ,undetected, before taking control of the ship’s command center, following the defeat of Reonor and his crew.”

“Oh, the Emperor is not going to be happy with this news.” One of the gathered Galra winced before pausing to think for a moment. “But why did you come inform us of this?” He asked, suddenly confused. Another Galra nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, debriefing almost never occurs during a ship assistance mission.” They pointed out. The addressed Galra nodded, seemingly agreeing with the observations before leaning in closer.

“One of my littermates is part of Reonor’s crew, supposedly during the occupation of the ship by the Voltron Paladins the Blue one was attempting to converse with Reonor.”

“Converse, in terms of interrogation?” One asked, brows furrowed at the information. The Galra shook his head.

“From what my littermate has told me, he recalls catching snippets of the conversation. But his clearest memory is of the Blue asking for _Reonor’s name._ ”

There is a stunned silence that permeates through the group at the newly revealed information.

“He asked for Reonor’s _name_?” One asked quietly, stunned.

“Did he give it to him?” Another asked, suddenly interested. The questioned Galra shook his head.

“Supposedly Reonor believes that the Blue one is an enchanter and refused to offer a response.”

A few of the gathered Galra scoff.

“The fool.” One murmurs. “Refusing to offer his name is as good as losing all chance at a courtship or mating!”

“I would believe that Reonor has more pressing matters to concern himself with.” Another murmurs.

“Still…”One of them mumbles, the lightest tinge of disbelief running through them. Disbelief that someone could let the perfect opportunity slip right past.

XxX

Kolivan had immediately figured the Blue Paladin would become an issue once a transmission from an undercover Blade made it’s way to the main base’s direct line of communication.

Antok had been the one present in the control when room it arrived and had responded accordingly by summoning Kolivan to view it personally.

The footage was....unexpected to say the least. Kolivan had seen the Blue Paladin only through recordings that were filtered through the Empire’s systems to the Blade of Marmora’s scanners. He was of average height for his kind and lean build. Kolivan imagined others of his species would consider him attractive, because it appeared as though other Galra certainly would.

Antok watched beside Kolivan in silent astonishment as a recording of one Voltron’s data extractions took place. Four paladins and the Princess Allura gathered around the Green Paladin as they ripped out what information they needed from one of the Empire’s Galactic Hub’s main ports. The footage was short and mainly featured the Green, Yellow, and Blue Paladin’s remaining within the control room while the Black Paladin and Altean Princess left, later followed by the Red Paladin. Kolivan was silently waiting for the footage to reveal it’s importance. Afterall, sending information through the main base’s direct line hinted at information of great interest.

Then came the time for the departure from the control room. Both the Green and Yellow Paladins scrambled to leave the room as soon as they received a presumed signal, the Blue Paladin following behind. But just as the Blue Paladin was making to leave the room, he turned suddenly on his heel- staring directly into the control center’s security camera that had been pointed at them the entire time.

Kolivan was nearly impressed at the Blue Paladin’s detection skills. With a large curling of his lips, the Blue Paladin’s face creased into a wide smile- one of childlike happiness. Without further prompting the Blue Paladin slowly lifted both hands, cupping his hands and curling his fingers together, letting his thumbs tough in order to form-

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Antok makes a slight sound beside him that could be a choke or a whimper. Kolivan can understand. Because that display….that’s a display that hasn’t been in use since likely before his own sire and dam were born.

Antiquated. Loneliness.

The display alone would certainly catch any Galra’s attention instantly but the request…

Well now Kolivan could see why the footage was so urgent, the repressed soldiers within the Empire must be going mad with such a  blatant demand for attention.

Yes. For the Empire this may wind up causing problems.

It may even cause problems for the Blade. Yet…

Kolivan shot a slight look at Antok who was watching the footage with a frozen expression, his eyes widened in still shock. It was an expression Kolivan had _never_ seen on him before.

Difficult, perhaps.

But amusing. So very amusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol kolivan's a secret asshole- he prob loves seeing his friends suffer so long as nothing bad is happening.
> 
> also i dont know if any of you noticed- but merla's pseudonym is literally the name of the episode where she got introduced in the original voltron, well the american version at least. but i just remembering seeing it in her wiki page and thought 'holy shit that is exactly what i wouldve called myself if i made my name during my emo phase'  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	10. i fucked my way into this mess and ill fuck my way out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the team wants to talk about lance’s plans about what occurred on their mission and lance gets a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall dont know struggle until you have 0% homework the entire weekend and still manage to procrastinate on doing something you actually LIKE (in my case writing this chap)- anyway sorry my little cow bells, i totally lost myself this weekend. i legit spent 2 hours and 23 minutes just staring at the ceiling, i want even listening to music i was just staring- totally freaked my roommate out.  
> XxX  
> Also someone made[ART!!!!!](https://fallingstars5683.tumblr.com/post/166974023745/happy-halloween-have-some-sad-lance-made-for) my blue son (lol it took me 7 minutes to make that pun) D: , just like how the Galra see him!!!

Lance thinks that Shiro’s overreacting just the  _ slightest  _ bit by throwing him under the bus. Lance says only the “slightest” bit because he’d like to continue to believe that Shiro isn’t some basic backstabbing  _ binch _ .

….

But he’s wrong because Shiro  _ is _ .

Homeboi ratted him out to Allura and Coran the second they got back from the mission.

Talk about major betrayal. Lance finally knows how Caesar felt when all his friends took turns sticking their knives in him.

“Lance,  _ please _ .” Shiro sighs from where he was standing beside a pensive Allura.

“Thou does not get a defense,  _ Brutus _ .” Lance murmurs unhappily as he scoffs his boot against recently shined floor (he knows because  _ he’s  _ the one that shined it), taking pleasure in the slight squeaking sound it makes.

Shiro sighs deeply and rests both hands against his cheeks, dragging the skin down like he’s trying to rip it off. It’s the same thing his mom would do whenever Lance would get into a fight at a Sephora.

“You’re gunna get wrinkles if you keep doing that.” Lance points out snootily because Shiro is supposed to be his  _ man _ , his _ backup bitch _ ! Shouldn’t he be proud that Lance was kickin ass and takin names?!

“Neither of those things happened today.” Pidge points out unhelpfully from their position beside Coran. Lance huffs and pulls off his helmet, running his fingers through sweaty hair and marching over to his control panel. 

“They might’ve if you guys just let me do my  _ thing _ .” Lance whines, slumping down and throwing his legs over the armrest of the seat.

“What  _ ‘thing’ _ ?” Pidge asks, raising a brow as they activate their own control panel, likely to begin running all the retrieved information through their various programs and decoders. “The way  _ I  _ saw it you weren’t getting very far with that Galra.” They add, shrugging their shoulders slightly. Lance frowns and begins kicking his legs out, swinging them back and forth as they dangled over the side of his command seat.

“There’s gotta be a build up to these things, Pidgey!” Lance replies, slumping further down and letting his knees press against his chest as he began doing bicycle kicks. “You can’t just jump into it! You need to work your way up-  _ that’s  _ the secret to success!”

“Riveting.” Pidge sighs, shaking their head and turning their attention back to their dashboard.

“Ya know I gotta side with Shiro and Pidge on this one, man.” Hunk interjects slowly, looking stuck between fluttering over to him or staying at his place by the door to the control room. “I mean trying to see how far you could take it without warning any one of us that you were is... kinda dangerous.” Hunk says 

Lance pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

“The Galra were mostly unconscious and tied up!” Lance exclaims, rising up slightly. “They couldn’t have done anything even if they wanted to!”

“That may be so, but accidents do occur!” Coran interjects, adding his two cents and pointing at Lance as if to emphasize his point. Allura straightens from her position at the helm and rests a hand against her chin in thought.

“I think…,” she begins slowly, tapping a finger against her lips, “that Lance’s actions while unplanned- may be wise.” 

Lance sits up straighter, a wide grin tugging at his lips because  _ hell yeah _ , Allura’s got his back! 

He knew she was his boo for a reason. 

Allura’s forehead is creased in thought, realization slowly creeping into her expression, promptly followed by a wide grin that Lance has long since learned to associate with missions that usually ended with them getting their asses dragged like nobody’s business.

It’s probably Lance’s least favorite aspect of Allura’s face.

“In fact!” She exclaims, clapping her hands together, eyes glinting slightly. “This could be greatly utilized if we plan carefully- we  _ have  _ briefly discussed the possibility of employing the Galra’s interest in Lance for distraction purposes and possible intelligence gathering.” She points out. Lance nods approvingly, shooting the Princess a ‘thumbs-up’ as he does.

“I understand that Allura.” Shiro replies, turning his body slightly to face her and Lance. “But we can’t just... _ test _ these things out in the middle of a mission- it’s too dangerous.” He says, shaking his head.

“Every mission is dangerous.” Lance pipes up, “That’s kinda it’s thing- like how  _ my  _ new thing could be just kickin’ back and chillin’ with some of my new found admirers-”

“They’re not admirers Lance!” Pidge exclaims from the other side of the room, turning in their seat to face him. “They just like you because they think you’re  pretty! That means we can’t trust them!” They say fiercely, hazel eyes glinting with a protective light that usually belongs to Shiro.

Lance is touched. And also-

“You think I’m pretty?” Lance asks, tilting his head slightly. Pidge throws their arms up in exasperation.

“Of  _ course  _ that’s what’d you take away from it.” They mutter, turning back around to continue typing away at their control panel screen.

“Well it  _ is  _ a valid point.” Lance muses. “But that shouldn’t be something that counts  _ against  _ them,” Lance argues, “I mean,  _ Hunk  _ thinks that I’m pretty does that mean we lose faith in him?”

Hunk nods vehemently in agreement from where he’s moved to stand beside Shiro at the helm of the ship. 

“I think what Pidge means to say is that we can’t be sure of any of the Empire Galra’s motivations.” Shiro says calmly, probably trying to prevent an argument from breaking out between paladins.

“Oh I think we all know what their “ _ motivations”  _ are.” Keith mumbles, barely audible from where he’s tucked himself in the corner of the room. 

“Keith’s right.” Pidge says, standing up and walking to stand beside Shiro and Hunk. “From what Kolivan told us this... _ thing _ that they’ve got for Lance has been going on for awhile, Should we really push it?” They ask, glancing around the room with their arms spread wide. “I mean we were doing fine before we even knew about... _ this _ .” Pidge points out.

Lance looks to Allura, trying to gauge her opinion.

“Or perhaps it is our ignorance that has held us back.” Allura argues, briefly glancing towards Lance. “Whether you are in favor or against it, the situation at hand will not go away- I vote we allow Lance to continue this experimentation.”

“ _ Hell yeah _ .” Lance grins, jumping up and skipping over to her, holding out a fist for Allura to bump. 

“Let’s not jump into this  _ too  _ quickly.” Shiro protests, the slightest frown on his face. 

“Yeah!” Pidge agrees. “How are we gunna work this into a mission? We can’t just  _ let  _ Lance go off by  _ himself _ !”

“Why not?” Lance asks, frowning and feels something in his chest tighten at the protest being raised by his teammates.

“Dude, Lance.” Hunk begins, his brows furrowing in concern. “This isn’t some ‘hit it and quit it’ typa thing.” 

Lance resists the urge to giggle at the fact that Hunk just  _ said  _ that and keep up with the serious air of the conversation.

“I mean they’re...they’re  _ Galra _ , man!” Hunk stresses. “They’ve kinda been jerks the entire time we’ve been in space- they’re like those guys that take all the french fries in the commissary and don’t leave anything for the rest of us so we gotta wait for them them to make more before getting any.” Hunk says, his voice getting progressively more annoyed as he recalls the carnage that was lunch time at the Garrison.

“Ooooo I hated those guys.” Lance says, shaking his head and choosing to ignore that on more than one occasion  _ he  _ was  _ that  _ guy.

“I feel like what Hunk’s trying to get at it is that you….can’t take those guys on your own, Lance.” Pidge says, pushing their way between Allura and Lance to peer up at him. Lance’s throat tighten slightly, Pidge’s words being tossed around in his head,  because...they….they don’t think he  _ can  _ do it. 

And sure Lance had his suspicions ever since he saw how they reacted to Kolivan giving them a basic idea about what was going on…..But wow that hurt just a little bit more than Lance thought it would.

“Yeah…” Lance begins, trailing off. “...Well then I guess it’s a good thing that I’m not going to  _ ‘take them on’  _ then isn’t it?” His voice a little more bitter than he would like.

“Lance-” Shiro begins.

“You guys are acting like a.) I’m actually going to fight them, b.) go in there without a weapon, or c.) that I can’t take care of myself.” Lance says, brows furrowing as he gazes at each of his teammates- all of whom still have their faces creased in worry and concern. They have every right to be, Lance knows if he was in their shoes he’d probably express his concern for his teammates too- but Lance also had  _ faith  _ in his teammates and their abilities.

So why isn’t he being given the same consideration?

“Look, guys.” Lance sighs, pushing away a strand of sweat soaked hair that’s clinging to his cheek. “I get that you’re worried and stuff but it’s not like I’m gunna just waltz in there and be all  _ ‘yo wassup boi u wanna fire up my ion cannon’ _ ? Cuz we all know that I’ve got more class than that.”

Pidge tries to muffle their snort but Lance hears it. 

Lance hears everything. 

And one day Lance will get justice.

“And besides Tiroth taught me some stuff!” Lance adds. “And isn’t that why you guys wanted me to learn some close combat in the first place? So that I could do  _ this _ ?”

Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro all look at one another, exchanging varying looks that Lance can’t quite understand before turning back to face him.

“Those lessons were meant to help you,” Shiro says, nodding in agreement. Lance feels a small smile begin to form, his shoulders begin to sag, losing the slight tenseness he had unconsciously gained as their conversation dragged on. “But that was mostly insurance- in case you got into a situation where we couldn’t back you up and you had to fight alone.” Shiro adds almost immediately and Lance feels his shoulders tighten all over again. Lance is quiet for a moment before opening his mouth to begin speaking.

“So….do you guys….like….like….not...trust me?” Lance asks slowly, stumbling slightly over his words and trying to keep the pain he feels out of his voice. A wave of relief sweeps over him and soothes the hurt drumming away in his chest when Shiro frantically shakes his head.

“It isn’t like that, Lance.” He insists, taking a few steps forward and resting his hands on Lance’s shoulders. Lance looks up, meeting Shiro’s gaze and searching his dark eyes, which are furrowed slightly. “You know that we trust you.” He says, tightening his grip slightly, hard enough to offer reassurement to Lance who silently nods. Shiro smiles slightly before sighing. “But….this situation isn’t something that you can just...do things.” Shiro says.

“But I can be careful!” Lance argues. “Plus Allura thinks that it’s a good idea!”

“That may be so, but-”

“And Tiroth thought I totally kicked ass!”

“Alright, but-”

“And the Galra already think that I’m prime time yanky doodle material!”

Shiro opens his mouth to speak but freezes, gazing down at Lance incredulously.

“Wait. What did you just say?” He asks.

“That Allura thinks it’s a good idea?”

“No, after that- the last thing you just said” Shiro says, looking distinctly lost. 

“That I’m prime time yanky doodle material?”

Shiro purses his lips, his hands tightening on Lance’s shoulders like he’s making sure that Lance is actually standing in front of him and he’s not a hallucination. His mouth opens and closes like he’s trying to say something but can’t quite get it out. 

“Would you feel better if I said they were slinging their jelly, instead?” Lance asks curiously. Shiro closes his eyes, forehead furrowing in what seems like pain.

“Buttering their corn?” Lance offers.

“Stop.” Shiro whispers, shaking his head and looking like he wants to shed a tear. 

“Spreading their mayo on a Lance sandwich?”

“ _ Okay _ !” Shiro says, loudly, clapping Lance on his back harder than was probably necessary. But Shiro was a big boy, he probably forgot that Lance was a regular cheeseburger and not a double quarter pounder with pickles, lettuce, tomato, and extra onion.

Shiro’s back to staring at him.

“Ya know,” Pidge says loudly from behind them,“sometimes I wonder what is going on inside your head and the rest of the time I’m too scared to consider it.”

“Yeah I’m workin on the whole ‘speaking my thoughts aloud’ thing.” Lance replies, tilting his head back to address Pidge and absently noting Hunk’s embarrassed shifting and the confused expressions of Allura and Coran. “But I am serious.” Lance says, lifting his head back to stare at Shiro who still looks unsure. “I  _ can  _ do it.” Lance insists. Shiro bites his lip, his eyes flickering from Lance to Allura. “ _ Please _ , Shiro” Lance says earnestly.

Shiro looks about ready to concede, his concerned features softening slightly. But Lance can see the edge of hesitance still lingering in his eyes.

“I say you should let him try.”

Lance almost startles at the sound of Keith’s voice coming up beside them. He didn’t even hear him leave his corner!

“Keith?” Shiro asks, surprise and hesitation clear in his voice as they both turn to face the Red Paladin.

Keith’s face is slightly flushed, a red tint coloring his cheeks and ears.

“Lance is right.” Keith says, back straightened and eyes glowing in their usual fiery determination. “He can take care of himself. He’s just as much a paladin as the rest of us and if he says that he wants to do it then….then we should let him.”

Lance is stunned. Because of all people,  _ of all people _ \- Keith Kogane is siding with Lance,  _ Lance  _ on something. And something that Shiro disagrees with no less!

“I agree that Lance is capable in his own right.” Shiro replies, finally shaking himself out of his own stupor. “But, Keith we can’t just abandon-”

“We wouldn’t be abandoning Lance.” Keith cuts him off. 

Holy shit. Not only is Keith taking Lance’s side in something but he actually  _ interrupted  _ Shiro,  _ while he was talking _ . Did Lance accidentally wander into an alternate universe?

“We can still have Lance’s back.” Keith says. “It’s just like when Pidge is downloading info from the Galra, we watch and protect them while they do their thing.”

Lance can see that Keith’s words are getting through to Shiro, the last of his hesitation beginning to chip away. Everyone on the team knew that Shiro and Keith trusted each other implicitly and Lance could relate to having that level of faith in someone. Hunk was his go-to, his cuddle bug, his brother from another mother. If Hunk vouched for someone or had a bad feeling about something, Lance wouldn’t even question it. And it seemed like Keith and Shiro seemed to be similarly kindred spirits because a few moments of silent communication between the Black and Red Paladins and Shiro slowly lost his uneasy air and furrowed expression.

Lance waited, shifting from foot to foot and darting his eyes toward the rest of the team as they all tensed in anticipation for Shiro’s response. Shiro breathed deeply through his nose, sighing deeply as he turned to face Lance. His expression was slightly considering and Lance was worried that Keith’s words were for nothing, but that worry was immediately swished away when Shiro smiled slightly and opened his mouth to speak.

“Alright.”

It was a one word response, but it filled Lance with so much joy it was like Shiro finally acquiesced and agreed to let Lance touch his tiddies. Shiro’s smile instantly slipped off his face and he raised both hands to cover his chest.

“They’re not tiddies.” Shiro replied, sounding vaguely offended.

“Moobs?” Lance offers. Shiro’s jaw tightens slightly.

“You know what, just call them tiddies and before you ask- No, you can’t touch them.” He responded, his voice sounding slightly huffy. Lance pouts and steps to the side as Shiro moves to join the others and deal with a still protesting Pidge. Lance is about to move forward to join but stops, hesitating. With no little amount of reluctance he turns back around to face an awkwardly shifting Keith.

“Hey.” Lance says, softly, still trying to work out what exactly happened.

“Uh...Hi?” Keith replies. Lance raises a hand and tugs at his armour’s collar, trying to stall for a bit.

“Um…” Lance begins, resisting the urge to sigh, “thanks.”

Keith’s face shows his unbridled surprise. Ouch. Lance isn’t that much of a dick that a simple thank you would evoke that reaction….is he?

“For backing me up I mean.” Lance adds, wanting to specify. Keith’s eyes gain understanding and he nods sharply.

“Yeah, no problem I was just….” He trails off, looking slightly hesitant. “...I was just...keeping my end of the bargain.”

Lance is confused for all of a moment when he suddenly remembers the agreement they (well mostly Lance) made the night before.

“Oh yeah.” Lance says, slightly breathless before nodding and clapping Keith on the shoulder, a wide grin beginning to stretch across his face. “Thanks.” He repeats sincerely, throwing a hand over the Red Paladin’s shoulder. “And as per our agreement- no dicks shall pass these lips.” Lance says happily, puckering up slightly and laughing as Keith’s face gained a rosy hue before the other boy shoved him away with a disgruntled noise. Keith brushed past him and rejoined the others, standing beside the others as they each slowly turned back to face him.

“Okay.” Shiro began, resting a hand on a grumbling Pidge’s head, his eyes focused on Lance. “What did you have in mind?”

Lance felt a wide grin begin to tug on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao my boi keef came in clutch- next time we see the inner workings of lance's mind and shiro begins to regret giving a hormonal teenager free reign on his right to seduce and reduce the galra.  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	11. are you nasty?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which lance leads the team through a slight walk through and shiro reaches a realization

Shiro would like kindly to point out that he is not paid to do his job.

He does it free of charge.

Organizing a training regimen that suits the personal schedule of all the other paladins?

Free.

Herding all the paladins to bed at night then getting them to show up for team meals?

Free.

Playing mediator when Lance, Pidge, or Keith (not Hunk bless his young soul) starts something with another paladin?

Free.

Shiro used to have a 401k. His biggest concerns used to be keeping Keith out of trouble and wondering whether or not Iverson would be willing to switch mac and cheese day from Monday to Friday.

It wasn’t as if he _disliked_ being the person the other paladins could come to. It was, in fact, incredibly touching that they’d go to _him_ for advice- Shiro has always been a providing sort of person. In preschool he used to give all his animal crackers away (even the Camel shaped ones) and if that didn’t scream _‘kindness’_ then he didn’t know what did.

And sure Shiro’s had his off days- but he’s never reached the point of wanting to bail, hang out alone in his room, and listen to Keith’s disco playlist while downing box after box of fruit punch flavored Juicy Juice.

But he could have never predicted that it would be an 18 year old, 5’7”, 133 lbs, blue-eyed, Cuban teenager that would get him to that point so fast his head would spin.

XxX

The second Lance’s grin creeped across his face after being given the green light, Shiro felt a smidge of unease begin to brew in his stomach. Mainly because out of all the Paladins, Lance was particularly….imaginative.

Not that it was a bad trait!

But it did, on occasion, make Shiro feel like a stressed single mother.

“I’ve got a few ideas!” Lance exclaimed, his cheeks a slight rosy hue as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands clasped behind his back and looking like he was the complete picture of innocence when Shiro knew for a fact that darkness and sin swirled behind those eyes. “Follow me!” Lance grinned, pointing a finger behind him.

Shiro felt a nervous sweat begin to break out on his forehead.

Shiro tilted his head, trying to catch a glimpse at Allura’s reaction. The Princess smiled widely and immediately nodded, jumping the few steps down from her post and moving to stand beside Lance.

“I’ll remain here, Princess!” Coran explained from his position at the front most control panel. “A couple of the systems need to be prepared for our next wormhole jump and I want to get that cleared away as soon as possible!”

That was bullshit.

Coran knew just as well as he did that the Castle only needed tweaks after firing defense cannons and activating the particle barrier- he just didn’t want to see what cocked up scheme Lance had thought up to get the Galra to put their guard down around him.

“That’s quite alright, Coran!” Allura assured, still smiling and seemingly unaware of what they’d all just gotten themselves into- but it was finally hitting Shiro. “Join us as soon as you finish!”

Shiro desperately hoped it was just a few quirky lines and some eyelash fluttering.

Lance tilted his head and smiled sweetly before twirling and making big motions for the others to follow him. With unvoiced reluctance Shiro took a step forward, walking beside an unsteadily breathing Keith as Lance led the Paladins and Allura to the training deck.

Shiro’s brows furrowed in slight confusion.

“So as you all know, _I_ am a man of many talents!” Lance began, spreading his arms wide and addressing his audience of five. Hunk nodded sagely from his position beside Allura. Lance’s smile widened and he winked, forming finger guns and pointing them in Hunk’s direction.

“So you _say_ .” Pidge grumbled, still upset at having lost their bid against _‘supporting this harlotry!’._

Lance’s smile didn’t falter and in fact, his eyes glittered with a mischievous light that Shiro has long since learned meant nothing but trouble and possible property damage.

“Alright doubty-pouty.” Lance shrugs, “If _you’re_ so good- tell me, can you do _this_?”

Shiro barely blinked before Lance slipped to the floor like lightning, his legs spread out on either side of him, a smug grin accompanying the self-satisfied hands clasping his hips. Shiro felt an inkling of astonishment, for a while he’d thought _he_ was the only one on the team that could do a full split.

“What the fuck.” Pidge said, their eyes scrunched in confusion. “What does that prove?”

“It proves that I have _talent_!” Lance replied, raising both arms in a classic ‘ta-da’ pose.

“No it doesn’t!” Pidge protested. “That just proves you’re flexible! Any five year old in a gymnastics class can do that!”

Lance huffed, putting both hands in front of him and pushing off the floor to lift himself up. “I’ll have you know that I _earnt_ that skill.” He says, lifting his nose in slight superiority. “It’s what won me $20 from Bobbi Newthorn in Cargo Class back at the Garrison.” He adds, crossing both arms over his chest.

“I thought you two bet about whether or not your could hold your breath underwater for two minutes?” Hunk asked, tilting his head in slight confusion. Lance shook his head, dusting his hands off against his thighs and beginning to remove his chest armour.

“Nah that was another bet- but I won that one too. I held it for four minutes and he nearly shit himself because he thought I died.” Lance said, grinning widely as if savoring the memory of nearly fooling someone into believing they’d committed manslaughter.

“As enlightening as finding out about your weird flirting habits is,” Pidge began, “you _still_ haven’t told us what you were planning to do because I doubt the Galra are gunna bend to your will if you show them a party trick.” Pidge complains.

“Patience my duckling.” Lance soothes, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. “All will be revealed in due time.”

“I am curious as well.” Allura pipes up. “My knowledge of Galran mating and attraction is, unfortunately, quite small. I am only aware of the signs of courtship but am not as attuned to what would be considered _appealing_.” She says, face inquisitive as she leaned forward, staring at Lance curiously. Lance’s chest puffed up in pride as he turned his eyes to Allura.

“Well sit back and enjoy the show, Princess, because Lancey Lance has got some tricks up his sleeve!” Lance exclaimed, winking at Allura before beginning to stretch his arms across his chest and doing a few lunges.

“What are you doing?” Shiro asked curiously, watching Lance closely as he tried to discern what the Blue Paladin was planning to do.

“Preparing my body, dearest Shiro.” Lance replied, doing high kicks. “Now tell me, young padawans, what is Lancy Pant’s best feature?” He asked, turning to gaze at each of them individually as he spun his arms in small circles like a hummingbird. The intensity of his gaze made Shiro feel like he was 13 years old again and sitting in Mr.Renga’s English class without an in depth character analysis about _The Crucible_.

“Your personality?” Hunk offered, his expression sincere. Lance froze and put a hand to his chest, looking genuinely touched.

“ _Bro_.” He whispered softly, gaze slightly tearful as he locked his eyes on Hunk. Hunk smiled sweetly and lifted a hand to blow a kiss at Lance. Lance reached a hand out and caught the invisible peck, lifting it to his heart before sniffling slightly. “None of these other hoes will ever love me like you do.” Lance sighed dreamily and vaguely gestured in their direction.

Shiro sometimes wondered if Lance and Hunk’s relationship was perhaps something even deeper than their supposed friendship.

“Who’re you calling a hoe?” Keith asked, suddenly, from beside him, looking honestly peeved.

“ _Us_ , apparently.” Pidge replied, raising an unimpressed brow before shaking their head,  light brown locks flying like a wet dog drying themselves off. “But anyway, cut to the chase Lance. I wanna see if my software has finished translating the data we got from that Galra ship.”

“ _Fine_ .” Lance pouted, shoulders slumping slightly before he perked back up. “Good guess Hunky Wunky, but not quite!” He grinned before turning swiftly on his heel so his back was to everyone. Lance bent over slightly, arching his back and sticking his...backside out for display. “It’s this _Lanass_!”

“Ughhhh.” Pidge groaned, tilting their head back. “ _This_ again.”

“Just because _you_ don’t see the appeal doesn’t mean everyone else is in the same boat, _Pidge_!” Lance argued, straightening back up but not turning back around to face them. Instead, preferring to stand with his legs slightly spread out and posing.

“I said it once and I’ll say it _again_ .” Pidge sassed. “It’s _just_ a butt.”

“It’s my moneymaker!” Lance yelled back, tilting his head back and maintaining his position. “And it’s what’s gunna get me in good with the Galra so pay your respects!”

Pidge rolled their eyes but Shiro could see an amused smile tugging at their lips.

“And to do that I’m going to need one of your bodysuits.”

Just as easily as the smile had appeared it slipped away just as fast.

“What?!” Pidge asked incredulously. Shiro resisted the urge to sigh and rubbed at his forehead that was creasing with the usual mixture of stress and confusion that only Lance and Keith were capable of summoning.

“Explain, Lance. _Please_.” Shiro requested, hoping it was some convoluted explanation that Lance typically formulated.

“Well ya guys know how all our suits immediately molded to our bodies when we first put them on?” Lance asks. Shiro and the others  nodded, wondering what point Lance was trying to make. “Well for my suits, _this_ , is as tight as it’s gunna get.” Lance pointed out, pinching the fabric near his right butt cheek. “But to show off all my _ass_ ets-” he grinned. “I need a tighter suit that’ll stick to me like white on rice.”

“But why do they have to be _my_ suits!” Pidge whined.

“Because you’re the smallest out of all us and also because they’ll just snap right back into place after I take them off.” Lance replied, shrugging as he turned around to face them again, a proud smile on his face. “Besides! I know the perfect move that’ll get the Galra- it’s the same one that got me my first girlfriend!” Lance exclaimed before taking a breath and beginning to strut towards them. Just as he was a few feet away he turned suddenly on the ball of his foot, letting his side face them as he cocked his hip in their direction. Lance smiled coyly as he turned his head in their direction. “It’s the booty jiggle that’ll get them.” He bragged.

Hunk began clapping, practically applauding Lance, who humbly bowed.

“And that is to be your starring spectacle?” Allura asked curiously. Lance nodded in affirmation.

“Yup.” He replied. “Unlike some people I don’t have bouncy tiddies going for me.” Lance side-eyed Shiro, eyes lingering.

“My face is up here.” Shiro replied blandly, his cheeks heating up in slight embarrassment. Sure his chest was...a bit bigger than most people’s. But it didn’t bounce!

“Yes it does.” Pidge interrupted, gazing up at him with wide eyes. “It’s like the first thing people notice about you.” They offer.

Shiro sighed. Wonderful. Now _he_ was thinking aloud.

“It’s not so bad.” Lance commented, standing on one foot like a flamingo and lifting his other leg in the air. “It lets you air out your thoughts and my momma says that you shouldn’t keep things secret anyway- it’ll clog up your mind!”

Shiro is relatively positive that Lance’s mother was just trying to make sure her kids didn’t get into any skeevy business by keeping things under a lock and key.

“Alright Lance, so you want one of Pidge’s body suits?” Shiro asks, trying to move on and make sure they have all their ducks in a row. Lance nods firmly, planting both feet back down on the ground before speaking again.

“Yeah and I’m also gunna start carrying around a spray bottle.” He adds.

Shiro nods slowly.

“Dare I ask...why?”

“I’m like 40% hotter when I’m wet, I can pull off the _‘lifeguard on duty’_ look better than anyone you’ve _ever_ seen.” Lance winks. Shiro isn’t really in a position to argue that, he grew up in Kansas and has seen the ocean _maybe_ five times and was never really into swimming.

“I’ll take your word for it.” Shiro nods, releasing a relieved breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in the entire time. Alright- so far Lance’s ideas weren’t particularly alarming. They were even, to an extent, _reasonable_. Maybe Shiro had thrown himself into a tizzy over nothing. It seemed like Lance had a firm grasp on his talents and seemed to know how to best use them so all Shiro really needed to do was….have faith.

Okay.

He could do that.

Just have faith.

Have faith.

XxX

“Question: If we were trapped in a closet, how long would it take for us to get wild with each other?”

The Blade of Marmora member shifted from foot to foot in front of Lance, his inquisitive eyes gazing up at him through spray-bottle moistened hair.

Shiro resisted the urge to smack his own forehead in exasperation. He felt genuine pity for the Blades unfortunate enough to cross paths with Lance, especially since Kolivan had already reminded them all of some sort of code they needed to follow.

The Blade standing in front of Lance let their silence drone on for awhile but Shiro and the others have long since grown accustomed to the lack of conversation being exchanged despite the Blades of Marmora being Voltron’s closest ally.

“Lance leave the poor guy alone.” Pidge called out from the other side of the common room.

“I was conducting an experimental survey!” Lance protested, his voice lacking any bite at being interrupted with his latest project. Shiro supposed that he shared partial blame for Lance’s newfound hobby.

It was the lack of missions that was getting to Lance. After their agreement to hand off the reins to him, the Blue paladin had been practically bouncing off the walls with excitement- eager to see how much he could get out of the enemy Galra, see what he could mark down as a ‘must’ or ‘bust’.

But Voltron’s direct contact  missions had been put on hold and no instances where the Paladins would need to leave the Castle or their Lions during a battle was necessary.

It was eating away at Lance who was hyped up like a kid on Christmas Eve. And it manifested itself in the form of Lance jumping on the visiting Blades that Kolivan brought along with him, which was often considering how much closer the two groups were working since they were collaborating on attacking one of the Empire’s outermost Sentry production plants.

At first Shiro had been worried that Kolivan may find an issue with Lance attaching himself to his warriors but the older Galra had simply raised a brow before shrugging and allowing it under the guise of _‘maintaining the integrity of their loyalty to Marmora and our decrees’_

Shiro had no idea that Kolivan was such a massive asshole.

He had an inkling of suspicion that Kolivan was getting a bit more pleasure than he let on at the sight of seeing some Blades scramble away once they caught sight of Lance and others deliberately seek the Blue Paladin’s company in marginally subtle ways.

What Shiro was becoming increasingly aware of was Keith, his right-hand, and brother in everything but blood becoming increasingly absorbed by Lance. Lately, wherever Lance seemed to be, Keith was right there beside him. Shiro had figured that maybe Keith was sticking around Lance just for the sake of being around other Blade members, people he was _technically_ in arms with. But Shiro could tell there was something slightly _more_ about the situation. Lance didn’t appear particularly bothered by it, in fact, he seemed _more_ surprised than Shiro at Keith’s presence but also didn’t seem to object to it. He supposed that Keith vouching for Lance must’ve done a load of good for the occasionally tense friendship built on mutual respect the two shared. That was strange in of itself, from Shiro’s perspective Keith used to be the one most adamantly against Lance breaking roles, but now he was Lance’s supporter?

“You are bewildered.”

Shiro managed to avoid showing his surprise and turned to face Kolivan, who was standing behind him, also gazing at the scene of Lance trying to squeeze an answer from the Blade watching Lance from behind their identity protecting mask, head tilted in slight confusion.

“I guess.” Shiro replied. “It’s just so surreal you know? But Lance seems to have things under control.”

Kolivan nodded slowly beside him, eyes focused on the scene.

“He certainly has  _something_ control.” Kolivan comments before the two fall back into silence. Kolivan slowly turns to leave, likely back to the control room where Coran and Allura were working out the final details of their attack plan.

“Kolivan, wait.” Shiro says, before he can stop himself. Kolivan obliges, turning around slightly to face him. Shiro feels slight hesitation begin to creep up before pushing it back down. “Is it a Galra thing?” He blurts out. “Or is it just a teenager thing? Where they just kinda...go back and forth?” He asks, voice weakening as he announced his inquisitions. Kolivan’s expression is momentarily confused before they follow Shiro’s flickering gaze to Keith, who is silently watching Lance with intense eyes. Kolivan makes a slight noise, something Shiro could possibly have mistaken for a laugh before laying a hand on Shiro’s head, petting his slightly.

“I believe that this _‘back and forth’_ you are referring to may be something exclusive to the Red Paladin.” Kolivan answers, before lifting his hand up, fluffing up Shiro’s hair. Shiro nodded slowly in understanding, his mind working a mile a minute as slowly, bit by bit, pieces started to fall into place to paint a picture.

“The Princess Allura was about to review the strategy once more, would you like to be present?” Kolivan asked, motioning towards the door. Shiro glanced back to Lance who was throwing out interrogating questions to the innocent Blade and the silent Keith, watching over him before turning and conveying a silent agreement.

Shiro walked beside Kolivan, the two of them enjoying the silence between them as Shiro continued rolling the information around in his head.

When it hit him. It him like a freight train. Quickly and mercilessly.

Keith’s defense of Lance. His “sudden” interest in hanging around him. Shiro has no idea how he could’ve missed it before. But the real dinger was that Keith _himself_ , likely didn’t even realize it. The other boy _did_ have a tendency to be dense with his own emotions.

As the realization began to sink in, Shiro stopped in the middle of the corridor. Kolivan took a few more steps before halting as well, glancing back at him in confusion.

Now Shiro was always more of an assisting sort of person. It was in his _nature_. But raising an emotionally repressed teenager who held feelings that likely bordered on more than friendship for a guy that had an entire species gunning for him? And also probably didn't even realize he had feelings that were more than friendly?

That was a whole other ball park.

“Black Paladin?”

Shiro looked up at Kolivan’s call, his eyes probing him for whatever stopped him in his tracks. Shiro opened his mouth to offer an assurance of his well-being and reassure Kolivan that he was fine. But instead what came out was-

“I deserve all the animal crackers in the world.”

Kolivan’s face immediately switched from slight concern to straight up confusion. Without offering any explanation Shiro continued forward in the direction of the main deck.

Shiro has _earnt_ all the crackers.

Even the Camel ones.

Especially the Camel ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao shiro's all like 'i give so much, i deserve to recieve' 
> 
> next chapter is what i fondly refer to as the sex-doll chapter. and you guys have Blitzdrake to thank for it existing at all!!
> 
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	12. throw that ass in a circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> team voltron and the blade of marmora do a joint mission where they hit an important part of the galra empire and get a whole lot more than they were expecting in return.

The thing is that Lance _knows_ he was born to be amazing.

The good Lord doesn’t bless you with a _caboose_ like his for no reason- or at least that’s what Bobbi Newthorn from Cargo used to tell him. Man...why did they break up again? Lance needed that sort of positivity in his life.

Then at least he’d have _somebody_ appreciating all the time and money that went into his appearance.

Did all the paladins think that blessings like him just _happened_?

No.

Natural miracles (like Hunk) only pass along once every thousand years and the rest of them had to scramble behind with man made tools like toners, moisturizers, and special birthday gift samples from Sephora.

“Ya know, you _really_ do need to work on that.”

Lance startled, flailing from where he was reclined on the couch before whipping his head towards the speaker. Keith was leaning against the entrance to the Castle’s sitting room, dressed in his Red Paladin armour and staring at Lance with a raised brow and surprisingly intense eyes.

“Oh put a sock in it _mullet_.” Lance grumbled, settling back on the couch and pulling his jacket closed around him. “I can stop whenever I want.” He added, throwing an arm over his eyes and sighing deeply.

Keith is silent for a long moment and Lance almost thinks that he’s scurried off to wherever he usually goes when he’s not following him around when the Red Paladin finally speaks.

“We have a mission with the Blade coming up soon.” The other boy offers. Lance makes a slight noise and turns around to lie on his stomach.

“So?” He asks, voice slightly muffled by the cushions. Lance hears the hollow sound of Keith’s footsteps coming closer to his couch.

“ _Sooo_.” Keith begins, drawing out the phrase. “You can finally stop moping- it’s a recon and destroy mission. Pidge and Hunk are gunna be on the intel team with Kolivan and you, me, and Shiro are gunna be on the sabotage team with some Blades for support.”

Lance’s interest is peaked and he raises his head, straining his neck to meet Keith’s eyes.

“A ground mission?” Lance asks, voice slightly hopeful. Keith rolls his eyes but nods in affirmation. Lance feels a grin begin to tug on his lips and reaches up with one of his hands to grab onto Keith’s padded shoulders, pulling himself up into a kneeling position and ignoring the loud hissing Keith is spewing at him. As soon as Lance lets go, Keith huffs and primly runs his hands down the front of his chest plate like he’s trying to wipe Lance’s sweet germs away.

“Allura told me to come get you, you’re the only one missing from the debrief and it’s kinda important.” Keith says, voice somewhat strained. Lance assumes it’s from his button pushing and decides to back off...for now.

“I gotchu.” Lance nods in understanding, climbing over the couch to Keith’s side. He lands softly on his feet and runs his fingers through his hair, tousling it slightly. He turns to Keith, prepared to offer a _‘let’s go you spandex wearing fuck!’_ when he spots Keith’s grimace directed at him.

“What?” Lance asks, confusion clear in his tone. Keith’s eyes dart briefly to the couch Lance just crawled over before flickering back to him.

“Why didn’t you just walk around?” He asks, frowning slightly.

Lance is stumped.

Honest to god stumped.

Because is Keith seriously serious?

“Oh myyy _goooooddddd_.” Lance whines, shoulders slumping. “You sound just like my momma!” He exclaims before turning on his heel and marching directly towards the door. Lance hears the slight scrambling of feet behind him and before long, Keith is walking right beside him, shoulders nearly touching as he pops up with a confused expression.

“What? It was just a suggestion!” The Red Paladin points out, a slight frown still lingering on his expression. “Besides, it’s more practical!” He adds as the two turn a corner in the direction of the main deck. Lance groaned, tilting his head back.

“It’s not about being practical, Keith!” Lance whines. “You do it because it looks cool!”

“Well I was the only one in the room,” Keith argues, “ _I_ didn’t think it was cool.”

“Yeah well you never think anything I do is cool.” Lance grumbles and speedwalks forward, letting the doors to the bridge open for him as he leaves Keith in the dust, not waiting for a response. Once Lance steps into the room, the slight annoyance that had been building up in him instantly melts away.

Allura is standing between Kolivan and Shiro, all of them hunched over in hushed discussion. Hunk and Pidge are both with Coran as they each point out various points on what looks like a Galra building diagram and the few Blades that are present are stand along the wall, silently awaiting orders.

Lance feels Keith slowly trail in behind him and slink to stand beside the Blades (his ‘homies’ as Lance privately calls them)

Allura is the first one to spot him and instantly lights up, eyes glittering as she takes a few steps forward to meet Lance.

“Oh, Lance!” She calls out, gesturing him to come forward. Lance _happily_ does so. “We were just about to start.” She adds, gripping Lance’s shoulder and pushing him in the direction of the Galra diagram.

“Well it’s about time.” Pidge greets him as he takes a spot beside them.

“Awwww I missed you too!” Lance gushes, patting Pidge on the head and purposely messing up their hair.  Pidge swipes at them but Lance seeks refuge behind Coran who laughs and pats him on the back like they’re playing a game.

“Let’s begin.” Allura announces, likely ignoring the miniature spat that just took place in front of her. She raises both arms and allows for the holographic diagram in front of them  to expand further, several selected areas lighting up with a soft blue glow. “Kolivan and the Blade of Marmora have managed to gather the location and layout of a major Sentry manufacturing plant.” She begins. “It resides on a relatively isolated part of the Machurin  galaxy and is far from the commonly used travel routes of Galra vessels, the chances of there being high security are also remarkably low due to its status as an industrial port, and not a weapons or trade dock.” Allura finishes, turning to Kolivan.

“A majority of the Sentry plants are closer to the major exchange markets owned by the Empire- but if we eliminate the outermost facilities we may be able to exterminate nearly a ¼ of the Galra Empire’s supply of Sentries.” Kolivan says, stepping forward and gesturing towards the slowly rotating hologram.

“As we all know, the Galra use Sentries for a lot of their more mundane tasks,” Shiro begins. “Patrolling, manning control decks, operating fighters- any job that can be done manually is done by a Sentry. So I don’t think I need to stress how important this mission is.”

Lance feels himself slowly nodding as Shiro begins explaining the plan of action to them. It’s exactly like Keith said- they’d be split into two groups, Kolivan, Pidge, and Hunk (the smarties of the group) would be doing all the digging to find the location of the other plants while Lance ‘McHottie’ McClain, Keith, Shiro, and the remaining Blades would attack from the air before descending and taking out the Galra in charge of the post.

Just as Lance thinks that the meeting is about to conclude, Allura pipes up again.

“There is one matter I should bring up before we depart.” She begins, eyes scanning along the room before stopping on Pidge. “Pidge has informed me that the Galra’s information defense systems have begun to give them issues.”

“Not _‘issues’_.” Pidge protests. “They’re just taking a little...longer than usual….” They trail off before snapping back to attention. “The Galra used to have this like…Universal code thing- all their ships and control panels had it and once I introduced it to an unfamiliar system I was pretty much in.” They say, their face scrunching up like they’d smelt something unpleasant. “But lately it seems like they’ve caught on and every base has it’s own password- but it’s not something that’s kept in the systems! It seems like whoever commands that station is the one who created that specific code so it takes a little longer to get around that.” Pidge says slowly, their frown deepening.

“How much longer?” Shiro asks, a concerned expression beginning to settle on his face.

“Maybe...twenty to thirty minutes?” Pidge says hesitantly. “I’d need to find out how long the passcode is before running it through a number-code breaking system then a language matchup program.”

“That is much too long.” Kolivan says, eyes gaining a thoughtful light as he turned to the diagram, likely trying to work around the newly presented information.

“I can create a program to go around it!” Pidge exclaims, jumping up slightly before settling down once Hunk placed a reassuring hand on their shoulder. “But...it’ll take some time and I’m not sure that I’ll be able to finish before we reach the factory.”

Lance sees Pidge’s jaw clench as they look down at the table in disappointment. Lance bites his lip and suddenly recalls how during their last mission aboard a Galra vessel Pidge looked like they’d been struggling as Lance tried to chat up the bound Galra soldiers...wait a minute.

“I have an idea!” Lance shrieks, raising his hand. Coran flinches away and lays a hand over both his ears at Lance’s volume. Lance gently murmurs a soft apology and continues talking once Coran gives him an encouraging smile. “Alright, I have an idea!” Lance beams, spreading his arms out wide.

“We heard.” Keith says, raising a brow. Lance doesn’t spare him a glance and instead continues talking, gazing at Allura, Shiro, and Kolivan with a wide smile.

“ _I_ can get the password out the head honcho!” Lance grins, wiggling in excitement as he sidled up to Shiro’s side, eyes hopeful. Lance has been forced to hold back throughout all their latest missions- it was all _‘blow up this’, ‘fire your cannons at that’, blah blah blah._ But this is Lance’s _chance_. His golden moment!

Shiro tilts his head slightly, looking momentarily confused before his eyes widened in realization.

“If you give me like five minutes I swear I can get whoever’s in charge to sing like a canary!” Lance exclaims, smile taking up a majority of his face as he clasped both hands in front of him. Shiro’s eyes flicker to Allura and Kolivan- both of whom seem to be taking his words well. That’s two out of three, all he needs is the third ‘yes’.

Shiro narrows his eyes marginally and lays a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“You stay where we can see you at all times-”

Lance resists the urge to yell in triumph.

“Have your bayard summoned while you do your thing and whatever Tiroth taught you, don’t hesitate to use it.”

Lance nods rapidly and spins around briefly, shooting a startled Pidge finger guns before darting away.

“I’m gunna go borrow one of your suits BRB!” Lance yells behind him, running away before Shiro had a chance to change his mind.

All sorts of ideas and awesome one-liners are flying across Lance’s mind as he reaches Pidge’s room. He’s got this. It’s gunna be great. It’s gunna be _amazing_.

XxX

“Ohhh guysssss,” Lance sang, twirling into the room before stopping and posing with one hand in the air and the other gripping his waist. Pidge’s suit definitely gripped Lance tighter than his usual suits did. It fit him like a second skin, whenever he stretched slightly he almost felt like it would burst at the seams even though he _knew_ it wouldn’t (Altean fabric was like suuuper durable). Lance felt like someone’s strong hands were holding on tightly to every part of his body.

It’s everything he’s ever wanted.

“If you jack off in one of my suits I’m gunna have a hard time forgiving you.” Pidge grunted, looking distinctly unimpressed as Lance immediately began doing calf stretches against the wall- right beside one of the Blades who was (pointedly) looking away.

“Oh Pidgey you know I’d never do that to you.” Lance replied before switching to quad stretches and bouncing on one foot to keep his balance. “Besides don’t worry! I’ll wash it before I give it back!” Lance assures.

“Your lies demean us both, Lance.” Pidge glared, face falling into a pout. Lance shrugged and began hopping on one foot over to them.

“Alright the _Castle_ will clean it- no biggie.” Lance responded, reaching out with his free hand and holding onto Pidge as he bounced up beside them. Lance was almost afraid Pidge would kick his remaining foot out from under him but relaxed when the still huffy Pidge just sighed and laid their hand on top of the one Lance had rested on their shoulder. Lance beamed at them and planted both feet down on the ground, leaning over to lightly bump his Blue Paladin helmet against Pidge’s Green one. Pidge flinched, looking up at him with a startled expression at the action before their expression softened the slightest bit and Lance instant knew he’d been forgiven...for the time being.

“We finished up the final details of what we’re doing while you got suited up- just make sure you keep to the plan and we should be good.” Pidge murmurs, patting Lance on his lower back and turning in the direction of their Lion’s lift.

Lance turned to briefly face Shiro, who offered him a reassuring expression before clapping him on the back and sending him in the direction of his own Lion lift. Lance shot him a two fingered salute (used by both the Cub Scouts and the Polish military) and bounced away.

Once inside the lift Lance felt the familiar itch of nervousness begin to tug on his stomach. He clenched his hands and tried to will away the feeling- he always got the pre-game jitters. Lance slowly breathed through his nose, feeling his chest rise and fall before the feeling began to steadily dim.

He had this in the bag.

This wasn’t like that time with Nyma or on the Baku or all those other times on Earth. It’s literally not at all possible or even _feasible_ for the entirety of the _Galra Empire_ to pretend to like him all to just pull the rug out from under his feet- this isn’t his 8th grade homecoming dance.

This mission was practically already a success.

Lance was gunna help Shiro and Keith singe the Sentry plant a bit and draw the attention away so Hunk, Kolivan, and Pidge could sneak in.

Then he was gunna pull a total _‘Baywatch’_ move on the Galra in charge, blow em away, and get that passcode for Pidge.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

XxX

“Lance take down the communication tower!” Shiro called out. “Keith, you take the docking bay! I need a clear area so I can drop down the Blades!” Shiro ordered through their comms. Lance gave a short shout of understanding, tightening his grip on Blue’s steering staffs and readying her tail cannon. The Galra communication tower was attached to the roof of the main production plant, it was a small target, easy to miss. With a slight clench of his hands, Blue’s shot fired, nailing the target dead on.

“Heck _yup_!” Lance grinned before his eyes narrowed in on the roof he had just fired at.

“Alright baby girl, let’s go down nice and steady.” Lance soothed as Blue’s paws extended to meet the surface of the roof. “ _Hah_!” Lance laughed, immediately bounding out of the cockpit.

He heard the distant sound of firing cannons but ignored them in favor of skidding in the direction of the complex’s rooftop opening. A quick fire of his bayard and the latch holding it closed was destroyed.

“Shiro, I’m in.” Lance whispered lowly into his comms as he jumped through the opening and landed in an unguarded service corridor.

“Nice work, Lance!” Shiro replied.

Lance beamed and slowly began creeping  his way down the hall, keeping his back to the wall as he shuffled closer to a corridor entrance.

“Alright, get to the rendezvous point! Keith and I will be there soon.”

“Got it!” Lance responded before hearing his comms go silent. Lance managed to memorize the route he was supposed to take as they flew their Lions to the edge of the Machurin galaxy and instantly recognized where he was as he finally reached the opening to another hall. Lance quickly looked down both ends of the corridor before raising his bayard into a ready position and quickly making his way down, following the map in his head to the open expanse space of the building’s main prep phase.

Lance kept close to the darkness of the hall before glancing out.

Several assembly lines were spread out among the room, each lane holding different parts of a Galra Sentry. Lance bit his lip, straining to find another opening leading into the room. From what he could see from his vantage point the only other access was through the window lined wall all the way across the entire bay. Lance estimated it was a couple football fields away. But Shiro and Keith weren’t about to go bursting through _that_. So they had a problem.

Lance was at the rendezvous point, but he had no idea _where_ his teammates and the Blades Shiro was transporting would be entering through.

“Shiro, we got an issue.” Lance whispered lowly, activating his helmet’s comms. The plant was devoid of any activity, the heavy machinery hanging from the ceiling several leagues up that were likely for assembly were all turned off. He couldn’t see any ‘floor managers’ or Galra personnel at all- and he couldn’t risk stepping out from his hiding spot. So calling Space Dad was the final option.

“Lance? What’s wrong?” Shiro asked, his voice coming through the speakers lining the inside of his helmet.

“I don’t have a good visual from where I’m stationed, I won’t be able to help you guys if I can’t see you.” Lance replied, eyes still scanning every edge of the room he _could_ see. Shiro was silent for a moment as Lance tightened his grip on his bayard.

“Alright, find access through an alternate route- Pidge and the others are almost at the control deck.” Shiro finally instructed, his voice tinged with slight concern. Lance immediately turned around, scrambling to remember his mental map as he retraced his steps through the corridor.

Just as he was about to thank Shiro, a sudden thought occurred to him- nearly stopping him in his tracks.

“Hey, Shiro there was one other thing…” Lance trailed off slightly, glancing behind him. “The machinery where they’re building all the Sentries are off. Is that supposed to happen?” Lance asks, his confusion at the earlier scene bubbling up in him. Shiro made a slight sound over the comms as Lance turned a final corner.

“Kolivan didn’t mention anything about that.” He replied, voice pensive. “Keep on your guard, Keith and I are approaching soon- have you found a position?”

Lance made a slight humming sound as he turned a final corner, nearly breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of a wide opening that was probably for material transports lying ahead of him and opening into the plant’s main floor.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Lance replied, keeping to the shadows and creeping closer.

“Good.” Shiro replied, his voice panting slightly. Lance assumed he was running, his theory on the slightly breathless sound of his voice was proven right when Lance spotted Keith’s Red armour and Shiro’s Black armour emerging from a corridor a couple stone throw's away from where he was standing. Lance’s grin widened as he slowly emerged from the hall, standing with his back close to the wall.

Keith met his eyes and made an immediate gesture to the level above them, purple railings lining the floor above and serving as an overseer for the entire floor.

Lance understood the movement and nodded as he activated his jetpack to lift him to the secondary floor.

Lance landed heavily on his feet and turned his head to watch Shiro and Keith do the same while the Blades they were with scaled the walls like it was nothing.

Lance gave a slight whistle of amazement and turned back around, legs tensed in anticipation as he waited for the rest of his team to catch up to him.

Okay.

Good so far.

He was good as gold so far, now all they needed was that passcode.

XxX

“Kolivan said that most factories like this are staffed with very few soldiers since they’re on a rotating schedule and a majority of manual labor here is automated. More than likely they’re going to be in the officer’s lounge or soldier’s quarters.” Shiro comments as the group all move together through the main plant. “We’ll move together. The diagram of this place says we should be getting close to a boardroom of some kind.” Shiro adds.

Lance doesn’t get a chance to say anything before Pidge’s voice comes through on all their comms.

“Guys, we’re in!” They exclaim. “Kolivan’s taking control of the monitoring equipment, any word on that passcode?”

“We’re nearing the target Pidge.” Shiro replies as they all begin silently creeping towards an automated door bearing the Empire emblem. Lance splits off with Keith and two of the Blades, all of them cornering the other side of the door as Shiro and the remaining Blades remained beside the door’s Galra identifier.

“Oh, do you mind?” Shiro whispered sheepishly to the Blade beside him. The hooded Galra shrugged before raising their clawed hand in preparation for the identity scanner. Shiro nodded in thanks before aiming his gauntlet towards the entrance and frowning at whatever report he saw. “Biorhythm scans indicate four personnel inside.” He informs them in a low voice before flattening his back against the wall and letting his arm begin to glow in preparation. “Keith, your team will take the two on the right, we’ll take the two on the left. On my mark.” Shiro breaths.

Lance bends his knees in anticipation, finger hovering over his bayard’s trigger.

The hall goes dead silent, the air practically curling with trepidation.

“ _Now_!” Shiro exclaims immediately turning towards the door as the Blade lays their hand on the scanner. Lance rushes forward alongside Keith as the twin doors slide away. His heart is in his throat as he makes eye contact with one of the four Galra leaning over a gutted robot carcass on the long table in the room.

 _‘He’s not wearing a Commander’s colors.’_ Lance thinks briefly as he fires a stunning shot into the Galra’s chest. Red, red, red, red, red. Who’s wearing red? Lance is scanning the remaining three Galra when he finally spots his target in a chokehold by Shiro.

The Commanding Galra is being forced to slump over by Shiro’s smaller stature and is clearly pinned by Shiro’s glowing arm despite the grimace of effort on the Black Paladin’s face.

_‘Alright Lancy-poo this is it. Go out there and make momma proud!’_

Lance takes a brief second test the slight strain of his (Pidge’s) body suit before smoothly sliding across the table to reach the kneeling Galra held back by Shiro.

The second Lance plops down in front of them the Commander immediately ceases straining against Shiro’s hold. Instead their gaze is latched onto Lance’s blue armoured feet. Slowly, their yellow eyes begin moving up his body before an astonished expression of pure shock finally settles on their fluffy Galra face.

Lance feels a wide grin settle into place naturally and lifts a hand in greeting.

“Hey ya!” Lance smiles his patented _‘heart melting, hot boy-next door smile.’_ “What’s up hot stuff?”

The Galra continues staring up at him in silent astonishment. Lance tilts his head slightly, leaning back to half-sit on the table.

“Aw man not even a hello?” He asks, his falling into a pout that never failed to get him out of trouble.

The Galra in front of him immediately turns a dark maroon and releases a breathless wheezing sound. Their eyes begin to dart all across Lance’s face, practically frantic. Lance is about to shoot another line when he sees the Galra’s eyes settling behind him. Lance raises a brow and curiously turns around. He’s immediately met with the sight of a shorter than average Sentry skeleton lacking all it’s usual plating resting across the table. The gears and wiring that occurs underneath is present, revealing its status as the foundation of an android.

Lance turns back around, opening his mouth to speak- but not before his hand brushes against a slippery, liquid  material. Lance makes a confused sound and grabs the object brushing his wrist on instinct. He raises it to his face and distantly hears the Galra Commander make another throaty noise.

It’s a translucent looking jar that _was_ holding a clear liquid. It was probably knocked over when Lance slid across the table. The slippery material coats the fingers of his body suit. Curiously, Lance lifts it to his nose, sniffing slightly.

“Huh, it smells like creamsicles.” He mutters before settling the jelly-like substance back down alongside several other containers containing a similar looking substance. As he does so, his eyes latch onto a Galra information tablet with a sketch.

A sketch that _definitely_ has his interest.

Lance stretches across the table to reach it, nearly dropping it in his now _lube-ish_ coated fingers. His eyes lock onto the diagrams and graphs presented on the screen. A lot of the info is written in Galran but Lance doesn’t need to read to understand _exactly_ what he’s looking at. His eyes flicker back to the collection of nuts and bolts laid out on the table and a wide grin immediately stretches across his face.

Lance grips the tablet in both hands and turns back the Galra Commander slumped against Shiro.

“Shiro you’re never gunna fucking _believe_ what I just found.” Lance grins, holding the tablet up for the Black Paladin to see. Shiro frowns slightly, opening his mouth to scold Lance for saying ‘fuck’ before he freezes, his eyes settling on the drawing Lance is presenting to him.

“They’re making fleshlight versions of me!” Lance says proudly, gesturing to the detailed drawing of an automaton being designed in _his_ image.

The Blades in the room immediately freeze. Keith releases a weird choking sound that sounds like cats are fighting in his throat. And Shiro drops the Commander from his hold in wide-eyed astonishment.

Bobbi Newthorn was right.

This caboose _was_ meant for greatness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> black market sex dolls. bet none of yall ever saw that coming  
> next time: my boy lance is embracing this. my boi shiro is about reach the end of this rope and lets all guess what keefer is gunna do.  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)
> 
> come and destroy me on [my mediocre blog](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	13. pull the trigger, piglet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance tries to work over not only the galra but his teammates and pidge discovers something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aahhh finally got to post the chapter!!!!- holiday weekends really throw me off!

Keith has never hated Lance.

Not _really_ at least.

Keith understood that Lance just had a...strong personality. He had plenty of strange little quirks about him like accidentally vocalizing his _exact_ thoughts, needing to the center of attention ( _always_ ), and flaunting every little “win” in Keith's face like he was proving a point.

It was annoying.

But Keith didn't hate him.

In fact, Keith liked to think he was one of Lance's closest friends. After all, someone like Lance wouldn't spend so much time trying to impress someone like _Keith_ if he didn't at least like him on some (no matter how minuscule) level.

Plus, aside from Shiro, Lance was the only other person to ever give him so much attention.

And so Keith didn't hate him.

Or at least...Keith didn't _used_ to hate him.

“Oooooo.” Lance whistled, immediately dismissing the reaction surrounding his discovery. Keith snapped his jaw closed.

Lance began began gently tapping on the tablet in his hands. “I look _spicy_.”

Yep.

Keith hated Lance _so fucking much._

XxX

Without thinking Keith immediately started forward, some strange emotion tightening in his chest. Lance was too busy gleefully scrolling through the Galra data pad to pay him any mind. Keith ground his teeth together as he glared down at Lance.

“Lance.” Keith grit out.

Lance continued smiling, zooming in on the colored drawing in his hands.

“Lance!” Keith barked out louder, startling the Blue Paladin who fumbled with the tablet in his hands. Lance looked momentarily confused, tilting his head back to stare at Keith with a slightly open mouth which immediately became a wide smile.

“Keith!” Lance exclaimed joyously, jumping off a table and rushing to his side, shoving the purple screen into his face. Keith grimaced, squinting his eyes to let his eyes adjust to the sudden brightness, strangely it didn’t make his  eyes ache like the castle monitor lights did. “Look!” Lance exclaimed, looking like he was about to cream himself in excitement.

“They’ve got Lance-lots in twelve different flavors!”

Keith opened his mouth to respond, an incredulous yell to ask about how Lance seriously wasn’t seeing how _fucking creepy_ this was. But Lance’s words made him freeze.

“Lancelots?” He asked incredulously because of course _Lance_ made it a fucking habit to make no fucking sense sometimes and it drove Keith _insane_ when he couldn’t understand Lance-

“It’s because they’re a me! They’re a _Lance_ ” The other boy exclaimed, bounding up to Keith’s side and shoving the tablet against his cheek as some sort of side by side comparison. Keith reluctantly let his eyes drift to the tablet where, staring at him with expressionless eyes, was a drawing of Lance with his mouth gaping open like he was waiting to suck a di-

“And I have lots of love to give!” Lance yelled, throwing his arms out and nearly smacking Keith in the face. “They’re _Lance-lots!_ ”

Keith bit his lip, brows furrowed as he watched Lance bound over to the table, nearly slipping on the wet mess caused by him jumping across it earlier. Lance stood over the gutted Sentry carcass lying on the table, eyes uncharacteristically sharp as he analyzed it. Keith’s own indignance was still toiling away in his stomach as he incredulously watched Lance stick out a hand and begin running it down the robot’s chest before stopping at its stomach. Lance turned his head to face the Galra General that was currently being pressed to death by Shiro, who was laying on top of him with an expression that Keith could only describe as a mixture between pained and what-has-my-life-come-to?

“You messed up my dick.” Lance commented/whined.

Keith began counting to ten under his breath, just like the school counselor advised him to do whenever he was hit with the desire to take someone to smack down town.

Shiro lifted his head to stare at Lance, eyes widened.

“Lance.” He grunted out as he shoved his elbow between the squirming Galra’s shoulder blades. “Is now _really_ the time?” He asked, his face the very picture of misery.

“But Shiro!” Lance squawked like a particularly obnoxious bird. “I have a _nice_ dick!”

Shiro looked like he wanted to cry.

And Keith knew a broken man when he saw one.

“I wanna talk to the guy in charge!” Lance demanded, raising a fist like he was waging war over his dick besmirching.

The Galra under Shiro continued trying to squirm away.

“You!” Lance shrieked, pointing his finger at the Galra who couldn’t look up at him. Lance scrambled off the table, nearly knocking over one of the Blades who was leaning over to glimpse at the mechanical skeleton that was apparently eventually supposed to be rendered in Lance’s image. “My dick is pretty and delightful like the rest of me!” Lance exclaimed, getting on all fours and laying his cheek against the floor in order to be ‘face to face’ with the Galra.

“Tell him Shiro!” Lance immediately urged, pointing a finger at the Black Paladin in clear demand. Shiro sputtered in confusion.

“How would I know?” He asked, sounding both lost and scared. Lance lifted his head slightly, turning confused eyes on the other Paladin.

“Oh come on, man!” Lance exclaimed, pushing his face up closer to Shiro who leaned away. “We have communal showers at the Castle! You’re telling me you’ve never once peeked?”

Shiro stared at him in silent shock.

“ _No_ .” He whispered like he couldn’t believe what Lance was saying. “You’re not _supposed_ to peek!” He exclaimed incredulously.

Lance looked confused before turning his gaze to Keith.

“Keith.” He said, “your dick isn’t _completely_ disappointing, what do you think of what _I’m_ packin-”

“I’m just gunna stop you right there.” Keith said with forced calm, trying not to think about how Lance both just insulted his _junk_ and asked if he sometimes let his eyes wander during after-training showers (Keith couldn’t help it if his gaze drifted south occasionally, he was only human...half-human).

Lance pouted in disappointment  before bending over once again to stare at the Galra, with rapidly moving eyes, avoiding his gaze.

“Alright you rainy day hoe, I will be civil and ask _nicely_ .” Lance began, laying a hand on his own chest. “Whose idea was it to give me the rainbow-dick?” He probed, peering at the bound Galra. “Because if this is about that one time I watched four minutes of a clown porno- I _swear_ it was an accident.”

“How do you ' _accidentally '_  watch four minutes worth of _clown porn_?” Keith can’t help but ask, his own disgusting curiosity peeking out no matter how hard he tried to suppress it.

“Kinks need to be developed, Keith.” Lance replied in a lecturing tone. “What? You think I was just _born_ wanting to get jizz facials? That’s so classist.”

“ _Nothing_ of what you just said made any _fucking sense._ ” Keith said, resisting the urge to begin ripping out his hair, he felt like one of those bird who plucked out their feathers due to stress.

“Now start talking you somewhat passable furry!” Lance demanded, slamming his fist on the floor like he was playing bad cop in a Noir-esque movie. “Tell Lancy Lance who is responsible for this atrocity against one of God’s most perfect creatures!”

“And _you’re_ the standard?” Keith said boredly, knowing it’d rile Lance up enough to get them back on task because he’s had just about _enough_ of listening to Lance blather on about his “issues” with the literal fucking _sex doll_ the Galra were apparently making.

“Are you snap, crackle, poppin my krispies right now?” Lance asked incredulously, turning to face Keith with narrowed eyes and an expression that said he would absolutely challenge Keith to a fight for the defense of his self-proclaimed title of God’s favorite bitch.

“Hey idiots!” A voice loudly exclaimed from their comms, breaking up the brewing argument between the Red and Blue Paladins. “On any other day I’d be all for watching Lance get his ass handed to him but first I need that password, any luck so far?” Pidge asked, their tone insistent as Lance froze in place, eyes widening in realization.

“Totally, Pidgey!” He exclaimed, his smile nervous as turned on his heel and began pacing, his expression thoughtful. “Just give me a minute and I’ll get that passcode for you, baby, don’t worry!”

Pidge gave a murmur of thanks, grumbling slightly and complaining about Lance calling them a “ _baby_ ”.

Keith didn’t get a chance to say anything before Lance was throwing himself down on top of Shiro, trying to get to the Galra underneath him.

“Lance!” Shiro exclaimed, surprised at the unexpected move.

“Trust me on this Shiro!” Lance replied, wiggling himself between Shiro’s body so he would be pressed against the frozen Galra.

“ _Dude_ ,” Keith heard Lance whisper hoarsely into the ear of the maroon Galra. “I’ll cut you a deal alright, man? You hand over the passcodes to this joint and I’ll make you an offer you couldn’t possibly _refuse_.”

“Lance, if you’re trying to barter using your nudes again I _swear to God_ -” Keith began, already starting forward to rip that hormone secreting mess of a being off the Galra, his earlier ire resurfacing.

Lance looked up, huffing.

“I wasn’t going to!” he replied, lying.

Keith breathed slowly through his nose, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Fine." He sighed. "Continue whatever it was that you wanted to say."

Lance smiled primly.

"Thank you." He replied, twisting back around and getting into the Galra's personal space. Keith idly wondered if Lance even had a concept of 'personal space'.

Probably not.

"Okay man, I'm kinda on a time crunch so I gotta get a 'yes' or 'no' answer on this." Lance breathed out, before raising his hand. 

Keith was momentarily confused, wondering what exactly Lance was doing when he spotted something in the Blue Paladin's hand. Keith squinted slightly, trying to make out what it was. It looked like a small rectangular card with a plain black backing. Keith couldn't see the side Lance had facing towards him but it hardly looked like something worth exchanging access to an entire Sentry production plant and an under-the-table human shaped dildo operation.

"If I sign your trading card of me- you give my friends full access to this plant, potentially giving us exploitable information detrimental to the Galra Empire if fallen into enemy hands." Lance continued

Keith wanted to go home. 

"They have trading cards now?" He asked, looking around the room like someone could offer an explanation because Keith didn't have one. 

He'd like one.

He would so desperately like to know why, out of all the prospective people in the entire Universe, the Galra had to choose Lance- _motherfucking Lance_ , to fixate on. 

"I found it on the table." Lance answered, shooting a sly grin in Keith's direction. "Obviously it belongs to someone here." He added looking proud of himself for that deduction. "And I think that someone is at least 6'9", furry, and purple!" He exclaimed, grinning down at the gaping Galra.

"That literally describes a majority of the people in this room, genius." Keith points out, frowning. Lance waved his contradiction away and was already in the process of opening his arm gauntlet to pull out a thin, triangular 'Kladgpor' Coran had gifted them all (color coded in accordance to their armour "of course"). Keith was pretty certain they were just the Altean equivalent of a glitter pen, only they were thick and clunky like they were created with alien-baby hand-eye coordination in mind. 

They were right up Lance's alley.

"Now who am I making this out to?" Lance asked, peeking down at the Galra whose lower back he was slowly rocking back and forth on.

Even from his position a few feet away, Keith could still see the disbelieving gaze the Galra was shooting Lance.

"-oreke." A quiet voice said, breaking the tense silence of the room. Lance tilted his head in confusion, tilting his head in the direction of one of the bound Galra, lying underneath the boot of a Blade of Marmora member. 

"What was that, sweet cheeks?" Lance asked loudly.

"His name...." The Galra replied slowly, head lolling around like he was drunk. Or maybe Keith accidentally delivered a concussion when he punched that specific Galra in the face, earlier. "His name..." He repeated. "...it's Commander Zoreke." The Galra finally choked out, the front of their grey helmet caved in, likely because of some brutal force. 

Keith knows because _he_ was that brutal force. It looked like those fleeting moments of consciousness were all the Galra could handle before their head slumped back down to the floor. 

Lance grins impishly and immediately begins sounding out the words to the Galra commander's name as he spells them on the card. "Zo-re-ke." He mouths, lips moving slowly. Lance grins down at the card, a satisfied expression on his face before bringing it up to his face.

Keith frowns in confusion. What does that moron think he's doin-?

.....

Oh.

 _OH_ . 

Keith bites down on his lower lip and furrows his brows as he watches Lance plant a slow kiss on the "trading card" picture. The room is so silent Keith can hear the slight smack of Lance's lips when he pulls away, a smile already tugging on his rosy cheeks when he leans down and begins pawing at the Commander's frontal breastplate like a squirrel scouting for the perfect place to bury an acorn. Lance slides the card into the front of the Commander's armour with all the smoothness of someone who tips fifty dollar bills at a strip club. 

 

"For your troubles." Lance whispers. But in the quiet of the room he may as well have been shouting it. 

Keith doesn't know why, but his suit feels strangely hot. Strange because, all the suits are temperature regulating so Keith's body temperature would change little to not at all. Maybe Shiro would know? He'd ask when they got back to the Castle. 

Lance was leaning in close to whisper into the Galra's large ear, the purple fluff of it brushing against his cheek. Keith doesn't know why but some strange, deep part of him was seemingly unnerved at the sight. Strange because, Lance has been laying his hands all over that Galra for most of the last few minutes. Just because he also happened to be touching his ears didn't mean anything!

The Galra continued to stare up at Lance with star-struck eyes, their disbelief manifesting through their silence. Keith had to admit, Lance did have a talent for  backing people into silence- mostly because he'd just confuse them so fucking much.

It was one of the things Keith envied about him- mostly because the plan was literally stupid enough to work. None of Keith's plans ever worked out as smoothly as Lance's- even though both their ideas had about the same probability of failure.

"Pidge!" Lance suddenly exclaimed, activating his comms with an excited grin on his face as he held up the Galra Commander's gauntlet in one hand. He must've tugged it off while Keith had accidentally let his mind wander. "I think I got it! Try ' _li_ _ttle-blue_ ' in Galran!" Lance squealed, hugging the gauntlet up to his face, just like how Keith had sometimes seen Shiro do, when he thought no one was looking, with the kittens at the Animal Shelter they both used to volunteer at. 

Keith heard a grunt of acknowledgement through his comms, and maybe even the light clicking of Pidge's fingers rapidly tapping away on the written translater of their gauntlet. 

"Security measures are coming down!" 

"Alright, well it looks like we've...finished our job." Shiro said slowly, looking slightly dazed as he raised his activated Galra arm. "Now we just need to...clean up." 

Disturbingly as he said that, the Black Paladin let his eyes slide towards the Galra Commander lying under him. For a brief moment, Keith thought Shiro was going to shank the Galra in front of all of them.

"No can do, Shiro!" Lance jumped back in, shaking his head at the other paladin. "Can't have you destroying the goods just yet."

"What?" Shiro asked, his eyes regaining clarity as he offered Lance a confused expression, his eyes briefly fluttering to the Galra underneath him, watching him with wary eyes.

"OH!" Shiro said in sudden realization as he saw where he was pointing his arm. "Oh no, Lance you misunderstood me." He began. "We'll leave the Galra unconscious and restrained like we always do." As he spoke, Shiro rose his arm and brought it down on the Commander's head, knocking him out like a light.

Lance nodded in satisfaction.

"-I mean we need to destroy that...thing on the table." Shiro added, a grimace creeping up on his face. Lance froze.

"Oof." Lance said, shaking his head. "Yeahhhh that's a no-go too."

Shiro squinted his eyes, as if trying to discern whether he heard Lance correctly.

"Lance." He began slowly, holding out steadying hands in the Blue Paladin's direction. "I can't just let this...facility continue their manufacturing of...of..."

"Of Lancelots?" Lance offers.

Shiro purses his lips.

"You don't like that one?" Lance asks, looking slightly hurt before immediately bouncing back. "What about 'Lance-Lance-Romance'?" He asks, eyes probing.

"Lance, that's not the poin-"

"Lance-Lance Take a Chance, Go Ahead and Pull off your Pant-"

"Lance!" Shiro yelled, clenching his fists and looking borderline scandalized.

"Yeah." Lance sighed, looking slightly disappointed. "You're right, that one is wayyyy too long."

Looks like Shiro was beginning to use his school counselor's advice too ,Keith noted, as Shiro pinched his nose and began counting in a low voice after taking deep, slow breaths. 

"Lance," he began, "you know that I care about you." 

Lance nodded slowly, his eyes suddenly bright with what Keith could only guess was happiness at Shiro's words.

"And I want you to be safe, right?"

Lance nodded, earnestly this time.

"So you know why I have to destroy these?"

Lance's eyes suddenly lost their sparkle and he looked momentarily confused.

"Alright, I'm gunna need you to say that last part again because you totally lost me." Lance replied, tilting his head in befuddlement.

"Lance I need to destroy the sex dolls." Shiro finally replied.

"Uhhhh how about _'no'_ ?" 

"Lance-"

"Awww come on Shiro let me have this!" Lance immediately began whining. "They're just things! Besides, it's not about the dolls! It's about the meaning!" Lance insisted passionately.

"What meaning?!" Shiro asked incredulously.

"The greatest meaning of all!" Lance began, raising his arms and closing his eyes in bliss. "That all around the Universe- I'm getting laid!"

Shiro began breathing deeply through his nose. Keith hasn't seen him this stressed since that time Iverson refused to change mac and cheese day from Monday to Friday.

"I'm going to need a better defense than that one, Lance." Shiro replied blandly, looking like he aged a few years in the span of a few minutes.  
Lance looked momentarily pensive. 

"What if we ask Pidge to check out who the Lancelots were supposed to go to?" Lance suggested quietly. "I mean we'd know more stuff that way...right?"

Keith is immediately about to raise protests because clearly no good can come out of those cheap imitations of the Blue Paladin. But as he turns his head to look for Shiro to back him up he sees a slightly considering expression on his face.

"Shiro?" Keith asks, trying to hide the slight betrayal that he feels at his discovery. Shiro turns his considering gaze to Keith, his eyes trying to send some silent signal that Keith doesn't understand.

"So we pay the buyer a visit?" Shiro asks, directing the question to Lance but keeping his eyes on Keith. Keith's eyes widen in realization. 

"Uhh yeah? I guess you could say it that way." Lance replies, twirling a lock of brown hair by his cheek, a long withstanding habit of his. Keith sometimes can't help but think that whenever the other boy does that he should be dressed like the 'popular' kid from a late 50s movie about teen love, blowing pink gum bubbles, and sporting bright rouge cheeks. 

Or maybe that was just Keith's appreciation for the classics rearing its ugly head again.

"Well..." Keith began, sharing an understanding look with Shiro. "Information is information." He said slowly.

Lance gave him a strange look before smiling and clapping him on the shoulder.

"Knew you'd see it my way, buddy!" Lance grinned.

Keith and Shiro both nodded slowly in agreement. 

Lance didn't waste a moment before hopping over the knocked out body of the Commander and beginning to gather the small jars of spilled liquid into his arms.

"What are you doing?" Keith asked, confused. Lance inclined his head slightly in the direction of the Red Paladin.

"Keefer. Keebler. Kreeper." Lance tsked shaking his head in mock disappointment. "You wouldn't let perfectly good lube go to waste would you?"

Keith accidentally swallows his own spit.

"Nope." Shiro immediately says, starting forward as Lance scrambles to pile the remaining jars into his arms. Keith is just barely beginning to regain his breathing.

"They're my souvenirs!" Lance screeches as he begins running around the corner of the table to seek refuge beside one of Keith's fellow Blades.

"Lance put those down!" Shiro demands. "You don't know where those have been!"

"Well I know where they're gunna be." Lance replies slyly just as Keith regains control of his lungs and opens his mouth to respond before he can stop himself.

"Like we know where Lance has been."

Lance doesn't miss a beat before squawking indignantly and tossing a half empty jar of Galra lube at his head. 

Keith doesn't duck in time and he gets his head doused in a clear liquid that dribbles down his cheeks and into his mouth.  The last thought Keith has as Shiro reaches over the table to wrap an arm around Lance's hips to stop him from running- is that it has a disgustingly similar taste to the mango sodas he used to buy from the Garrison vending machines.

XxX

"Lance are you seriously going to ignore Shiro for the entire trip back to the Castle?" Keith asks, borderline exasperated. 

Lance sniffs and raises his nose like Keith's question personally offended him. "Hmmpph!" 

Keith sighs and shakes his head.

"Awww come on man, it couldn't have been that bad!" Hunk insists, his big brown eyes peering at the Blue Paladin through their shared Lion monitor.

Lance continues pouting and refuses to answer.

"I don't see what the big deal is." Pidge says, looking distinctly unimpressed. "We got what we came here for. All we gotta do is get back to the Castle and decrypt it. What are you so upset about?"

Lance leans his face in close enough to the monitor at Pidge's question.

"I am justifiably upset, Pidgey!" He whines loudly. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to jack off in space?"

Suddenly Keith wishes that Pidge had never asked. By the look on their face they probably wished that too.

"What am I supposed to use? My spit? My face creams? My shampoos? My conditioners? I have a very limited selection pool, Pidge!" Lance complains, looking honestly more heartbroken than Keith has ever seen. 

All because he couldn't jack off with weirdly flavored Galra lube.

"Lance, we have no idea if that stuff was sanitary." Shiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I am a bird, Shiro!" Lance exclaims. "I need to be allowed to spread my wings and soar!"

"You know that might actually be sorta nicely poetic if you weren't talking about your dick." Pidge replied boredly. 

"No one in this family understands me!"

XxX

Pidge spent most of the day upon returning to the Castle decrypting their newly acquired data with some translation help from Kolivan. But beyond waiting for the small bar on their Altean re-designed laptop to finish loading, there wasn't much left for them to do.

So Pidge ended up wandering around the Castle, eventually entering the hall leading to the kitchen. The distant sound of clanging baking pans grabbed Pidge's attention and their feet carried them to the Castle's kitchen, fully expecting to see Hunk messing around with the alien systems.

But it wasn't Hunk who was wearing his usual light blue apron and dumping a hot tray onto the countertop.

It was Shiro.

It took Pidge a second before they shook themselves out of their stupor and slowly approached a down in the dumps looking Shiro, poking a burnt clump of...something on their tray.

"Hey...Shiro?" Pidge began slowly, raising their hand in greeting as they climbed onto the counter.

Shiro slowly lifted his head, locking eyes with Pidge.

"Hi Pidge." He greeted softly before raising a clear spatula and beginning to scrape off the cookies glued to the tray.

"Trying your hand at baking?" Pidge asked, curious. Shiro nodded, grunting as one of the cookies crumbled away under the force he was exerting.

"They're animal crackers." Shiro replied. 

Pidge raised a brow before leaning over the tray. They clearly weren't any Earth animals the Pidge had ever seen but one of Shiros' blackened blobs looked like a Duflax and another vaguely resembled the Klanmurel that nearly killed Pidge in that jacked up Altean language program.

"Why?" Pidge couldn't help but ask, their curiosity and desire to know overtaking their confusion.

"Because I deserve them." Shiro said stoically and with such a serious expression that Pidge decided to just leave it alone out of slight fear for their life. 

Pidge continued to watch Shiro delicately scrape off the blackened Altean animal crackers and lay them on a cooling rack. Pidge was just about to ask if Shiro had accidentally entered the wrong temperature conversion to the Altean oven when the tablet tucked into their pant's pockets began to tremble.

"The data from Lance 2.0 finally finished loading." Pidge grinned,  immediately pulling it out and setting it on the table. Shiro made a slightly interested sound and leaned closer to Pidge's tablet.

Pidge smiled and began scrolling through the nicely organized list of shipping strips that were stored in a microchip easily within sight of the others when discovering the underground operation.

List upon list of names of Galra, their command stations, last known positions, and personalization requests. 

Pidge felt their grin grow as they continued down the list. They held so much _power_ in their tiny little hands! 

Shiro made deeply inquisitive noises over Pidge's shoulder as he sharply scanned the tablet in their hands. Blindly, he began groping the table for the cooling rack. The tips of his finger brushed against it and he lifted one of the first cookies he felt to his mouth, biting the head off a Clovenheifer as Pidge continued scrolling down the list. Shiro grimaced slightly at the taste, but only hesitated for a moment before taking another bite- this time ripping off a leg.

Shiro's continued following but stopped as soon as Pidge ceased going down the list.

"Pidge?" Shiro asked, dark crumbs flying as he spoke. Pidge suddenly turned around, nearly startling him. Suddenly a bright tablet was being shoved under his nose, Pidge making loud insistent noises.

It took a moment for Shiro's eyes to focus on the translated name in front of him. As soon as he did, his grip on his cracker went slack, allowing it to slide to the floor where it smashed into unsalvageable pieces.

There in grey characters under the category for _'recipient'_ was:   
_'Prince Lotor of the Galra Empire'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooooooooo  
> and in case anyone is wondering that little trading card lancy lance smooched is gonna be of great value to a whole lotta ppl lol  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	14. bitch, this aint 'the notebook'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which lotor is pushed off the cliff of love and into the pit of fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol whaaaat? an update so soon? yeah im surprised too! hopefully if i finish all my work this week ill be able to post the next chapter this weekend!

_‘The Blue Paladin fell across the Galra underneath him, breathing harshly against his partner’s collarbone, drowsily mouthing at it before he pushed himself up on his elbows._

_Purple hands reached down to grasp the human’s hips, digging sharp nails into soft flesh, barely managing to not break the tender skin._

_“Tired?” A mocking voice crooned into the Blue one’s small ear, blowing lightly and grinning widely at the shiver that traveled down the human’s spine._

_Blue pants tiredly, shaking his head with forced steadiness before letting his mouth fall open and beginning to suckle at the Galra’s throat. He slowly takes a deep breath and begins to thrust his hips forward, trying to regain his earlier lost rhythm._

_The Galra underneath him smiles and presses a soft kiss to Blue’s cheek, swiveling his hips and trying to match the pace of the Blue Paladin thrusting into him._

_“Harder.” He orders, forehead creasing in concentration as he focused on the feeling of the human’s girth sliding inside him._

_“_ **_Harder_ ** _” He repeated, voice strained with breathless desire. Strong purple arms wrapped themselves around Blue’s thin waist as the human tried to comply with the request._

_Blue moaned softly, burying his head in his lover’s neck as he pistoned his hips faster, harder, deeper-’_

“Prince Lotor, Sir.” A hesitant voice called from the entrance to his chambers.

Lotor lowered his tablet, shielding it from view before replying.

“I thought I had ordered I not be disturbed.” The Galran Prince responded, his tone edged with unvoiced displeasure. It would be the only warning he would grant Acxa- she knew more than anyone how much he disliked disobedience.

“Apologies, my Prince.” Acxa replied, her voice sincere as she bowed her head. “An urgent matter has arisen. Your presence is needed on the bridge.”

Lotor pursed his lips, turning in his chair to face his most trusted General.

“What sort of matter?” He asked as he rose from his seat, tucking what would be dismissed as a simple information tablet into the lining of his armour.

Acxa took larger steps in order to keep up with his pace as he strolled out of his bedchambers.

“Several alerts have been released, requesting reinforcements near the Ureot ship route. A large number of supplies being delivered to your colonies have been destroyed.” Acxa reported, voice growing tense. Lotor did not stop walking, turning corner after corner in the direction of his command center.

“Rebels?” He asked. _‘Voltron’_ he wondered.

Acxa hesitated before answering.

“Officially it is being labeled as ‘Accidental Friendly Fire’ from....outgoing warships of the Empire.”

Lotor stopped walking. Acxa did as well, keeping her eyes forward.

“What would members of Father’s fleet be doing in my part of the Universe?” Lotor asked aloud. Acxa was wise enough to remain silent.

Lotor started forward once again. Acxa waited a moment before following.

As she shadowed him, she silently watched his back grow tense, indignation bubbling under his cool facade at the supposed ‘accident’.

Acxa idly wondered if the fleet responsible would suffer an unfortunate accident- perhaps a malfunctioned gravity engine this time, or a faulty hanger door opening while in hyper speed.

Whatever it was, she was certain Lotor will have righted this wrong done to them by the time the current cycle has ended.

With that assurance she sped up, making sure to keep pace with the Prince as he approached the entrance to the bridge.

XxX

It had been Ezor who had brought her newly discovered pastime to the attention of Lotor.

“Isn’t he just stunning?” She had gushed to the gathered group during their routine scan of the Dotki supercluster.

“He’s _small_.” Zethrid spit out in reply.

“Not to mention our _enemy_.” Acxa added, face unimpressed as Ezor happily stared down at a large sheet of printed material. Clearly both were in the circle of knowledge for whatever it was Ezor was referring to. Lotor had not made a habit of educating himself on what his Generals did in their own time. He was not their Den Guardian, he was their Prince.

But he couldn’t deny the inkling of interest that crept into him upon discovering that the subject at hand was a person of interest for _all_ his Generals. As much as Acxa may believe herself to be the picture of impassivity he had still noticed her eyes flickering to Ezor’s spread out parchment. Zethrid had leaned down over Ezor’s shoulder and squinted at the image printed before huffing and making a dismissive chuff. Even Kova had puttered around Ezor’s legs, nudging the offered parcel in slight interest before slinking away, back to their master.

But it hadn’t been the reactions that had captured Lotor’s attention- it had been that all his Generals had knowledge of _who_ Ezor’s newest interest was.

Unlike the rest of them, Ezor made it no secret for when someone had caught their affection. Proclamations of supposed love were unavoidable. Lotor had become accustomed to it. But the subject changed every movement-a newer, brighter, bouncier replacement filling the void almost as soon as the last one had left. Ezor’s father had come from an affectionate race of which several mating bonds would be formed and broken throughout their lifespan, so it seemed as though Ezor had been simply following her instincts.

Lotor had taken his Generals under his wing not only for their sheer prowess in battle but for their status as ‘halflings’ as well. Growing in Galra society required a close connection to one’s intuition. Galra were one of the most instinctive creatures in the Universe, the pull of impulse simply too strong to resist. Their inability to connect with that _deep_ part of themselves is what set halflings apart from the rest. It was what made them _‘different’_ and _‘unnecessary’_.

Which is what made the current situation baffling to Lotor.

Ezor never shared the identity of her newest partner- they’d be gone soon and replaced by someone else before long so the point was moot. But not only did his other Generals have _knowledge_ of this person, but Ezor had some form of token they treated with affection. That sort of attachment was something that Ezor’s half side simply did not do.

Which meant that something about her newest interest had sparked something in her mother’s Galran heritage.

And from the reactions of his other Generals, something in _them_ as well.

Now Lotor’s interest was peaked.

But of course he wasn’t about to _ask_ for the information. What was he, a cub?

No.

He’d just have to find out for himself.

XxX

Lotor found out through the grapevine.

No that’s not true.

He found out by reading about himself and the bewitching ‘Blue’.

….In pornographic writings.

….That were owned by Ezor.

It was a strange day for Lotor.

Finding out that not only was Ezor enamored with a Paladin of Voltron but that one of her secret desires was to see _him_ , her Commanding Officer, _mate_ with him. But Lotor was not one to shame another for their interests. Ezor was entitled to do what she wished with her wages and her time- so long as it did not impede on her performance in the field Lotor had little interest in her apparent passions.

And Lotor had much _less_ interest in his fantastical relationship with a _Paladin of Voltron_.

No interest at all.

XxX

Lotor didn't know how the Blue Paladin managed to sneak his way into the creaks of the Empire’s ranks and plant himself like a seed into the minds of foot soldiers and Commanders alike.

Had it been the  result of conscious action and decision Lotor would be extremely impressed by the Paladin’s infiltration abilities and efficiency. But it was clear to Lotor that the Blue Paladin was hardly the skilled philanderer that some were making him out to be.

The Blue Paladin was a “dream”, a “fantasy”. Within the ranks of the Empire’s military there was a strict ‘Zero Fraternization’ policy. Mates were to be chased and cherished on a soldier’s personal time. Inability to maintain concentration at one’s post was punishable by the highest degree.

But Galra couldn’t last under those conditions- they needed outlets, they needed fascinations and distractions.

It seemed as though the Blue Paladin fulfilled those requirements.

Lotor couldn’t see it.

He’d seen Ezor’s disgraceful collection in her room during a routine safety inspection following the explosion of a faulty generator (Lotor would be paying a _personal_ visit to the Galran shipyard that had served them several vagas before the incident occurred). Lotor had even spotted an abnormally large pillow with his image stitched on, hidden behind the numerous blankets and plush toys piled onto Ezor’s bed.

Was the Blue Paladin pleasing to look at?

More or less so. He certainly wasn’t displeasing.

But having a presentable appearance didn’t constitute the reaction being brought forth by the soldiers within his Father’s ranks.

It had briefly crossed Lotor’s mind that perhaps...he simply wasn’t Galra enough to see it.

He had swished that thought away immediately as it had come. Lotor’s worth and ability were not reliant on whether or not he wanted to fuck the Blue Paladin.

Was this how the mighty Galra Empire was going to fall?

All because some dainty little creature with bright eyes and a cocky smile made them feel something deep, something strange, something _instinctive_.

But Lotor was nothing if not shrewd.

A majority of his Father’s Empire (a majority of _his_ Empire) sensed something, felt a kindling with a being they had seen but never met.

Lotor would be a fool not to harness this.

XxX

Lotor soon found out that a private investigation into the Blue Paladin could never truly be kept quiet. Too many knew of him to be able to ask covert questions or discretely look into first hand accounts and meetings (of which there were plenty of thanks to Voltron’s rampant success but also, consequently, continued to fuel the fires of desire- carried out by the Galra who spread their stories of battle and meeting).

For several quintents Lotor's only company became the Blue Paladin. His dashboard of information was cluttered with security footage of him. Pieces of art commissioned by soldiers and citizens alike- all available on large forums that wore constantly being refreshed and renewed.

Lotor had even stumbled upon several databanks of writings that his citizens did in their free time. Some featured well known icons in the Empire, most were of notable big name Generals who claimed stretches of galaxies for the Empire. But several featured Lotor. It hadn’t been a shock- he’d briefly skimmed the writings he’d confiscated from Ezor, it wasn’t a new subject to him.

It was only natural for the Galra populace to find him intriguing. No matter how much he may not look it, he was the son of Emperor Zarkon and ergo Royalty. That mystic title would conjure all sorts of images in the minds of those who knew nothing of Lotor’s reality.

And so they wrote long winded epics of his and the Blue Paladin’s trials in love and happiness.

Short raunchy stories of them meeting in a darkened backwater saloon in some far corner of the Galaxy and enjoying each other for a single forbidden night.

Produced depictions of he and the Blue Paladin, reclined like Gods on a background of stars, the Universe at their feet, their hands clasped together in perfect union. (Lotor didn’t know why but something in him startled when he saw it).

As far as the public knew, Blue was only a symbol- a manifestation of sex, desire, loneliness, and fulfillment.

He was a spirit of the Galra, a sympathizer to their desires.

But Lotor knew better. He knew that underneath all the ‘pretty’ there was a very real threat.

He knew he shouldn’t look anymore. Shouldn’t keep digging.

But he couldn’t help it.

The roots of the seed had finally reached him.

XxX

Lotor wondered sometimes- how far does one have to fall before they reach the bottom?

However far down it was, Lotor thinks he’s pretty close.

Unlike Ezor he wouldn’t allow himself the pleasure of a physical token to embody the interest he had started to develop.

So he would limit himself to writings. Only writings.

But if he was going to restrict himself he was going to get the best of the best.

XxX

It turned out the best of the best was a cub nearly out of their Empire mandatory education.

Lotor had raised a brow but who was he to judge the form in which skill would express itself?

Lotor had taken a moment to gather himself before extending his offer. A working contract under him. Original pieces that were to be delivered to him and only him. A signed promise that she would never breath a word of what she does to anyone Galra.

Her price? All she had to do was name it.

Unconditioned access to a luxury line cruiser that had the capability of traversing the Universe. A nice room. Good food. A place to write. And someone to occasionally wash her bedsheets and clothes as well as take her shopping on trade planets.

It was hardly payment that would put a dent in his inheritance. Maybe he’d even throw in a few carts of Zerti for her to enjoy.

And so Merla of the Sile-0369 sector of the Empire (also known as merla_queen_of_darkness) became the first person and only person to know of Lotor’s closely guarded desires.

XxX

For awhile Lotor had been satisfied.

He could enjoy this nearly harmless hobby.

It wasn’t something that could be taken from him.

It wasn’t something that could be used to deceive him.

It wasn’t something that could hurt him. In fact it couldn’t hurt him at all.

So then why did his chest hurt whenever he would pull away from the worlds and fantasies Merla had crafted for him.

As soon as he withdrew from the fantasy he was hit with the instant realization that he was alone, that his affair- his grave betrayal of his father by lying with an enemy- was not real. He was still under his father’s command, that had not changed.

And try as he may Lotor wanted the thoughts in his head to be enough.

Wanted the images that flashed behind his eyelids as he lay in bed at night to be enough.

But they weren’t.

He needed something- something better than a rendered depiction, better than characters on a tablet screen.

He needed the Blue Paladin.

Not the real one.

The real one couldn’t possibly fulfill him the way he wanted him to. But a replacement- something to hold, something that could fill the void of his own making.

He needed it.

XxX

It was easy enough to get his Generals to believe him that the visit they were paying to one of the outer Sentry production plants was for him to settle a personal matter.

Technically, it was.

It wasn’t his fault if they interpreted it differently.

He arrived unannounced, his right as Prince of the Empire.

The Commander had scrambled to greet him- confused and a bit afraid because he wondered if Lotor knew.

And Lotor did. Lotor knew all about the Commander’s skill in the arts and technology and the profitable side business he had created using discarded manufacturing materials to build pleasure bots for those wealthy enough to pay.

Lately business had been booming, what with the popularity of the Blue Paladin. So suddenly there wasn’t enough scrap material and Commander Zoreke began to steal from the Empire- a crime punishable with a life sentence in the Gladiator rings.

But Lotor was kind and generous.

“Make one for me.” Lotor commanded. “The best you’ve ever made.”

In no position to refuse, Zoreke nodded.

XxX

And so Lotor had fallen. Like a fool and like a weakling he had fallen.

But none could ever know.

Lotor was different, he always had been- he’d never been able to have what he truly desired and he just knew that if anyone ever found out about what he thought when he layed in bed at night, alone- he’d lose it. He’d lose it like he always did.

And so he let his Generals continue to believe the Blue Paladin had not touched him, continued to clean up after “accidents” his Father’s Empire committed against him and his progress.

And so his fantasy only came to life when he was alone and when he allowed it to.

Until one day it came to him.

XxX

“Scanners are picking up a large ship approaching!” Zethrid immediately yelled out once Lotor stepped onto the bridge. His sense suddenly sharpened and he approached his command position.

“Is it _‘friendly’_?” He asked, jaw clenched in anger. He saw Zethrid shake her head from his position at the helm.

“It’s not registered in our systems.” She replied.

“Pull up an image.” He ordered, his anger at the loss of supplies still bubbling underneath.

Zethrid obeyed immediately, the screen at the front of the ship lighting up.

As soon as his eyes settled on the image in front of him Lotor felt his shoulders weaken, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Is that-?” Ezor asked distantly.

“How did they find us?” Acxa asked, sharply her tone rolling in unease and confusion.

The white ship flying in their direction was easily identified. A description of it had been sent to every battle and cargo ship in the Empire upon its reappearance.

The Altean Castle, home to the Paladins of Voltron, was coming towards them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotor in private: lies in bed and stares at a poster of lance taped to his bedroom ceiling while toxic by britney spears plays softly in the background.
> 
> Lotor in public: Me? In love with the Blues Paladin? No way! He’s not my- *trips* *thousands of photos of Lance spill out of his pocket* I-I’m not… These aren’t mine, I’m just-*thousands of photos of Lance scatter across the floor* Listen, I just… fuck! Wait, listen! *gathering them up frantically while starting to sweat* Shit, fuck! I’m holding them for someone, just listen!
> 
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	15. meet me in the fucking pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the team finds out about lotor and we discover that keith would literally try to fist fight his emotions

“So _why_ are we here, again?” Lance asked, trying not to let his voice slip into the whine he wanted it to. “I thought it was an unspoken Voltron rule that after a mission we get a few hours to recharge- as much as I love all of you, I still need a break from you people sometimes.” Lance complained, tugging on his wet hair and pulling his bathrobe tighter around himself.

“Lance, shut up.” Keith groaned, sitting stiffly in his seat, still in full armour.

“How bout you _make_ me.” Lance replied, crossing his arms across his chest, a challenging expression on his face. Keith rolled his eyes, huffing slightly in annoyance and brushing a loose strand of hair away from his face.

Keith had resolved to continue ignoring Lance, still feeling lingering irritation at the other boy for their latest mission and his complete _lack of indignancy_. How Lance was just able to shrug it off- Keith would never know. The inner workings of the Blue Paladin were a complete enigma to Keith and try as he may, sometimes he just had to go along with it.

But fuck if Lance didn’t make it difficult to follow his line of thinking.

Keith’s silence must not have pleased Lance because the next thing the Red Paladin knew- the other boy was stretching a hand out, reaching for his face. The flash of tan skin registered in the corner of his eye and Keith immediately turned his head to glare at Lance, tilting his head away from the hand aching to grab him.

“What are you doing?” He asked, annoyed and raising a brow at Lance whose eyes were narrowed in concentration.

“Have you not taken a bath yet?” Lance replied incredulously rather than answer Keith’s question.

“No?” Keith answered, warily watching as Lance stretched his arm farther, warm fingers brushing against Keith’s cheek. “Again, _what_ are you doing?” Keith demanded, eyes straining to watch Lance’s fingers as they worked their way to Keith’s hair, gripping dark strands between his digits. Keith bit down sharply on his lip, feeling a shiver travel up his spine as Lance’s blunt nails lightly scratched his scalp. A strange warmth settled in Keith’s gut and, without realizing it, his eyes began to slip closed, losing himself to the sensation-

“Your hair feels like play-doh.” Lance comments, immediately ripping Keith out of the moment of tranquility he was having. It’s further broken when the other boy gives a  harsh tug on a clump of Keith’s hair.

“ _Ow_ !” Keith hisses, swatting at Lance and forcing him to retreat back to his seat like a _coward_.

“You should take a bath,” Lance advised as he kicked his bare feet up on the table, “there’s still lube in your hair and it’s making it all stick together since it’s drying.” He added, looking completely unconcerned as he tried to wipe his lube greased hand clean on the exposed thigh of Keith’s suit.

Keith batted it away, hissing slightly in annoyance as Lance returned his look with a cheeky grin.

“Well who’s fault is that?” Keith retorted, narrowing his eyes on the other boy. Lance put a finger to his lips, looking like he was in deep thought before snapping his fingers in realization and pointing his finger at Keith’s nose.

“Yours!” He replied happily. “For not dodging quick enough!”

“You’re so _annoying_.” Keith grumbled, slouching down in his seat and wishing the others would hurry up to the dining room like Shiro had ordered them to when he came around to personally deliver the summons.

Lance sniffed in slight offense but didn’t offer a comeback, instead deciding to lean back in his chair and stretch his legs out on tabletop _where they all ate_.

“Today’s my deep conditioning dayyyyyyyy.” Lance whined, eyes scrunched shut like he was about to throw a tantrum.

Keith hoped to god he wouldn’t.

“They’ll show up soon- stop whining so much.” Keith replied, pulling at the neck of his bodysuit where it was sticky with sweat. Lance huffed, crossing his arms across his chest and letting his blue robe fall open. At the flash of naked collarbones Keith felt his jaw clench, teeth clicking together slightly at the action. An unexpected heat began blooming around Keith’s body, making him shift in discomfort. His first thought was that it must be his suit acting up, just like it was back on Sentry production plant. Keith was almost tempted to ask Lance if he’d been having any issues with his/Pidge’s suits. But just as Keith opened his mouth to ask, the door to the dining hall swished open, a slightly concerned Allura and curious Hunk waltzed in, followed by an expressionless Kolivan, Shiro, and Pidge hurrying in behind them.

“Well look who finally decided to show up!” Lance loudly called out, planting his feet back on the floor and sprawling half his body across the table to peer up at the Black and Green Paladins avoiding his gaze.

“Lance, please,” Allura says, taking her seat at the head of the table. “This is where we dine - refrain from spreading your body on it.”

Lance pouts and slinks back into his seat. Keith swears he hears the other boy murmur about how he can ‘spread whatever I want’.

Keith decides that for the sake of his own sanity he won’t ask.

“Shiro and I just found something important in the data we got from the mission.” Pidge pipes up, laying their information tablet on the table. Both Hunk and Lance lean over to glance down at it in slight wonder. Keith refrains and instead raises a brow at a shifting Shiro’s direction. Clearly if Shiro called a meeting so soon after a mission (soon enough that Keith hadn’t even gotten an opportunity to shower) then it must be incredibly important- as in ‘we got dirt on Zarkon’ important.

As a result Keith expects many things. He expects Pidge to tell them how they got some ultra access code to the Empire’s huge database. Maybe they got a map detailing the location of every battle ship in the Universe. Maybe they got a lock on the communications frequency used by the Galra and could now tap into their transmissions.

He does not expect to be told that-

“Lotor’s on the list of "buyers" for the….Lance...dummies.” Pidge says slowly, their earlier excitement beginning to dwindle. Pidge seems to be slowly picking apart their own words which leads Keith to believe they hadn’t fully processed what they’d just sai-

Wait.

Lotor?!

When did _Lotor_ come into the picture?! Keith doesn’t recall him ever coming up in conversation before! Keith’s jaw falls slightly agape as he shifts his narrowed glare at Shiro.

“Uhhmmm” Lance interrupts, raising his hand in slight protest. “They’re called _Lancelots_ !” He informs them all unhelpfully. “And they’re robots not _dummies_ , Pidge.”

“I will not have you dirty the good name of robotics by including sex toys into a recognized category of mechanical achievement.” Pidge says blankly. Keith thinks they seem more bothered by the fact that Lance called them robots than the fact that they’re robots of _Lance_.

Which, considering it’s Pidge, is fair.

“Specifications aside,” Allura began, her eyes shining in an unfamiliar interest. “This news is quite interesting. Kolivan," she begins, "the young Galra we encountered had referred to Lotor as her employer, correct?” She asked, turning to face Kolivan who stood silently beside where Shiro was seated.

Wait, what?

“That is correct, Princess.” Kolivan nodded, a strange glow in his eyes as well. If Keith didn’t know any better he’d think that was _amusement_. But Keith’s gotten beaten up by a bunch of Blades while Kolivan watched so whether the other Galra had much of a humor was beyond Keith’s realm of understanding.

“Wait, hold the phone!” Keith interrupted, sitting up slightly in his seat. “What do you mean Lotor was on the list of “buyers”! And what 'young Galra'?” He asks, a demand on the edge of his tone.

Everyone at the table shoots each other confused looks as if they can’t make sense of what Keith is saying. Keith is about to open his mouth to repeat his question when Lance snaps his finger in realization.

“Oh yeah!” He yells a lot louder than he needs to. He suddenly turns to face Keith, robe falling off his shoulder. “You totally ran away when I was droppin deets on what my sweet Merla was writing about!” He exclaims poking Keith’s cheek with a finger. Keith resists the urge to turn his head and bite it (mainly because Shiro is watching and he knows he’d get pulled aside and lectured about it).

“I didn't run away!” Keith immediately fires back. “I just didn’t see the point in hanging around and listening to you talk about something that wasn’t important!”

Lance releases a high pitched gasp and puts a hand to his chest in clear offense. Keith knows for a fact that this _bitch_ is playing it up for the sake of drama.

“Who you callin’ a bitch?” Lance immediately screeches, leaning over the armrest of his chair and forcing himself into Keith’s personal space.

Great. Now _he_ was doing it.

Keith huffs and pushes a hand against Lance’s chest to force him back into his seat. The other boy’s skin is warm and slightly damp from the shower he was pulled out of for the abrupt meeting. Keith tries the banish the lingering feeling away as soon as he brings his hand back to his side.

“Just as Lance said,” Allura continues, pretending like the small scene between Keith and Lance hadn’t occurred. “Merla was under contract for Prince Lotor but she had no information of his whereabout or way to contact him unless he was the one attempting to reach her.” Allura states, a hand to her chin in thought.

“Well that’s okay because we do now!” Pidge exclaims, holding up a tablet with translated characters. Keith has to squint to recognize some of the words but even the short distance across the table is giving him a hard time. He really shouldn’t have skipped out on that eye exam before ditching the Garrison.

Thankfully Pidge decides to tell them all what they’re talking about.

“Based on the info I managed to pull from the dummy-”

“Lancelot!” Lance corrects. Pidge continues as if they hadn’t heard him.

“Lotor’s last position was beamed from section GH-035 of the Assilem Star Clusters, pretty much the frontier of the Galra Empire’s territory.”

“And more importantly, too far from any of the Empire’s known routes for backup to arrive on time should we attack.” Shiro adds, straightening in his seat.

“How long ago was the transmission?” Kolivan asks, looking at Pidge who is typing away at their screen.

“Not even a few doboshes before we hit the plant. By my estimate Lotor wouldn’t have sent information on his ship’s location unless he was planning on being docked for a while.” Pidge replies.

“Which means we know where he is right now.” Keith breathes out in realization. Everyone but Shiro and Pidge must reach the same conclusion at once since they all fall silent, absorbing the information.

“If we’re going to act on this newly presented advice then I say we should do so immediately.” Allura says, scanning all of them and gauging their response.

“So soon after another mission though?” Hunk asks, raising a brow and glancing around the table in slight concern. “I mean our last mission wasn’t too bad but are we really ready to jump into another battle?”

“I’m with Hunk on this one.” Lance says, eyes suddenly sharp and leaning forwards to look between Shiro and Allura. “We don’t even know how well guarded this guy is. Does he move alongside a fleet? A battle cruiser? What are we even gaining by confronting him?”

Keith feels slightly incredulous. Because they’re talking about Lotor- _Prince_ of the entire _Galra Empire_ , that information alone should be incentive enough to go after him. Who knows how much information he could be carrying in his ship!

“I say we go!” Keith immediately jumps in, sitting up in his seat. “When are we going get another opportunity like this? We have the element of surprise on our side, plus Voltron, and the Blade of Marmora!” Keith exclaims. Keith has both fists clenched in front of him and the excitement he usually feels at the start of a mission is beginning to bubble, low in his gut.

Pidge pushes themselves up in their seat and lays both hands on the table.

“As great as our fighting chances are, we can’t exactly extract any information from Lotor’s ship if we rush in guns blazing.” They say.

“From what I know of the Prince, you may have a harder time seeking information than you think.” Kolivan says, frowning slightly in thought.

“What do you mean?” Pidge asks, lips tilting down in confusion as they turn to face the large Galra.

“None of the Blades have been able to get close to the Prince- all their information on him has been heard second hand.” Kolivan says. “They say Lotor is remarkably cunning, his status as Prince of the Empire allows him more freedoms than the average General but it is known that his relationship to Emperor Zarkon is strained at best and nonexistent at worse.”

“What are you saying?” Shiro asks, gazing up at Kolivan. The larger Galra briefly glances at him before returning to his thoughtful stance.

“If Prince Lotor has a wary relationship with Emperor Zarkon, it’s likely he keeps all vital information on his person or in a separate transmission room. Security on the bridge of a Galra cruiser is, as you know, not as secure as one may think. Someone as intelligent as Lotor is said to be would not let his guard down for something like this.” Kolivan says. Keith feels a rush of amazement fill him at Kolivan’s deductions. It blew his mind every time Kolivan managed to work something out, even though Keith knew for a fact that there was probably a mountain's worth of information in the Galra’s head.

“So we need to be careful.” Allura muses, tapping her fingers lightly against the table. “If we attack with the Lions then Lotor might flee.” She says, frowning slightly.

“We could try distracting him.” Lance suggests, a familiar grin making its way onto his face. “I mean we already know he wants some of this _Lanass_ ~”

“Words cannot express the hatred that bubbles inside me when I hear you use that word.” Pidge says blandly. Lance playfully winks at them, the Green Paladin shakes their head in fond exasperation.

“It could be a possible fallback.” Allura says in consideration.

Keith feels his insides freeze.

“Nice!” Lance grins, drumming a slight beat on the table in excitement.

“But only as a _last resort_!” Shiro stresses, a slight crease in his forehead as he enunciates his words. Lance nods rapidly. “I mean it, Lance.” Shiro says, peering down into the Blue Paladin’s eyes. “Lotor is different from other Galra, if you somehow end up alone with him and we’re not there- don’t rely too much on talking your way out of there, alright?” Lance nods sharply in understanding but Keith can still see the underlying excitement that’s made its home in the brightness of Lance’s eyes.

“If Lance is going on the mission, then I want in too.” Keith says before he can stop himself. Keith’s request surprised himself and by the looks the others were giving him, they probably thought his request to be on the mission was slightly puzzling but not unexpected.

“This will need to be a stealth mission.” Shiro finally says after giving a slight nod in Keith’s direction. “At max it would be three people boarding, all packed into one Lion.” Shiro explains. “For this mission the Green Lion is best suited because of it’s cloaking ability.” He adds, eyeing Pidge who straightens in their seat. “Keith because you’re a close range fighter and Lance is long range you’ll need to work in tandem so should you encounter the Galra onboard as well as any sentries you’ll be able to fend them off while Pidge tries to access the information onboard.”

“I’ve been revising one of my code breakers,” Pidge announces, a light grin on their face. “If Lotor has any heavy locks on his stuff I’ll be able to get in, but it will take some time.” They warn. Keith nods sharply in understanding while Lance hums and tugs slightly on his robe, wrapping it back around his shoulders.

Keith feels a tension he hadn’t noticed disappear at the action.

“I guess I need to suit up.” Lance says, not quite whining as he rises from his seat. Both Keith in Pidge were still in their armour from their mission a few vagas ago. As Lance moves to leave he pauses, stopping in the doorway and turning to look over his shoulder.

“Hey, mullet.” He calls out. Keith instinctively looks up. Lance raises a brow at him and motions vaguely to his hair. “You gunna wash that out before we leave?” He asks, Keith reaches a hand up to tug on a clump of hair that feels horribly greased, even through the gloves of his suit. Keith swallows thickly before glancing back towards Lance who is inclined against the doorway, naked thigh visible through the opening of his robe. A sudden flash of heat startles him, traveling up through his spine and to his head which feels like it’s being stuffed with cotton.

“Yeah..” Keith says slowly, flickering his eyes over to Shiro who’s watching his expressions with slight interest. “Shiro come help me.” He quickly demands, jumping up from his seat and rushing past a startled Lance.

Keith doesn’t need to turn around to know that Shiro is on his tail. Rather than head to the washroom he knows Lance will be using, Keith begins speed walking in the direction of the showers located beside the training room. As soon as he steps through the door, he immediately heads for one the sinks, grabbing its removable head and letting a cold stream of water flow out. Keith hears footsteps come in behind him but rather than acknowledge the other paladin he dunks his head down and allows the icy chill of the water to trickle down onto his head. Keith feels Shiro take his place beside him and remove the hose from his grip, instead allowing the water to warm before continuing to soak Keith’s lube-covered hair.

“So why’d you _really_ call me to help you?” Shiro asks as he begins pumping soap into his hand from one of the nearby dispensers.

“I might need to borrow one of your suits.” Keith says, withholding a grimace as Shiro begins to massage the gel-like hand soap into his hair. The smell lightly burns his eyes and if Keith had to make a comparison he’d say the alien soap was like shredded ginger with a touch of strawberry.

As soon as Keith voices his request Shiro’s hands pause for a moment.

“Why?” He asks, confusion clear as he resumes lightly digging his knuckles into Keith’s scalp.

“I think mine is broken.” Keith says, wincing slightly, “And could you be a little softer? I’m not a dog that’s been running through the mud.” He’s not whining, he’s making a simple _request_.

“What do you mean ‘broken’?” Shiro asks as he lightly untangles Keith’s hair with his fingers.

“I _mean_ that there’s something wrong with the temperature regulator- it makes me feel really warm sometimes.” Keith replies, closing his eyes as Shiro began rinsing out the awfully scented soap. Shiro hums slightly in thought as he scrubs Keith’s head for any lingering suds.

“Does it happen often?” He asks, hooking the sink head  back into place. Keith hears his footsteps move away, likely searching for the towel dispenser.

“Not really.” Keith calls back, trying to remember all the instances where it occurred. “It usually only appears when….” Keith pauses, mind stilling for a moment. “ _Lance_ ,” he breathes as Shiro comes up beside him, microfiber cloth in hand. Shiro tilts his head in slight confusion as he begins wiping water droplets away from Keith’s face.

“Lance?” He echoes, eyes shining slightly in interest.

Keith bites his lip, brows furrowed in slight annoyance. “ _Lance_ .” He grits out and turns to look up at Shiro who has dropped the cloth on his head and seems focused on patting away the dampness of his hair. “I feel warm whenever Lance does something dumb.” Keith says, eyes narrowing and not noticing the slightly amused expression of Shiro. “This must be his idea of a _joke_.”

At that Shiro stops trying to pat him dry and Keith looks up at him in confusion. Shiro is staring at him with a slightly discernable expression, as if he’s trying to work out a joke that went over his head (which would be impossible because all of Keith’s jokes are hilarious).

“Really?” Shiro asks, raising a brow.

“It’s the only explanation!” Keith insists, raising his arms and taking the cloth from Shiro. As Keith begins vigorously scrubbing at his wet hair, he hears Shiro sigh deeply.

“Keith.” He begins, resting both hands on the younger paladin’s shoulders. “Have you considered that maybe it’s _not_ the suit.” Shiro offers. Keith frowns in confusion, expression considering.

“...But then what else-?”

“Maybe it’s you.” Shiro says, expression trying to hint at something that Keith can’t quite understand. “Maybe _you’re_ the one who feels warm whenever you see Lance.”

“It doesn’t happen ‘whenever’ I see Lance.” Keith insists. “It only happens when he does something dumb!”

Shiro nods and smiles understandingly.

Which confuses Keith even further.

“I guess that’s what happens when you like someone.” Shiro shrugs. Keith is nodding unconsciously before his brain catches up with what Shiro _actually_ said.

“I don’t _like_ Lance!” Keith immediately denies, something like panic making his heart nearly skip a beat. An unknown feeling begins to swirl in his chest as a thick heat swims up to his cheeks and ears, painting them both red.

Shiro raises a disbelieving brow.

“I _don’t_!” Keith insists, racking his brain for something to get Shiro to believe him.

“You said that you feel warm when Lance does something- emphasis on _Lance_.” Shiro replies, a grin creeping onto his face. Keith bites his lip.

 _“Only when he does shit like practically stripping at the dinner table!”_ Keith yells, frustration beginning to boil in his gut. Keith’s tone must alert something in Shiro because the friendly grin immediately slips away.

“Keith,” Shiro begins softly, brows furrowing in slight concern. The Red Paladin shoves down the urge to resist when Shiro lays a soft hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to like someone.” The older paladin assures.

“But I _don’t_ like him.” Keith repeats. “Lance is loud and obnoxious and weird, he makes jokes nobody understands, he makes dumb plans which _somehow_ work, and he constantly talks about his skin, and-and-and…” Keith trails off. Shiro looks so earnestly supportive but Keith can’t help but frown. “I don't like him.” Keith says slowly, more to himself than to Shiro. Keith thinks back to Lance and the weird warmth that curled around his body whenever he saw Lance doing things. Things that he would reluctantly admit were _somewhat_ , marginally attractive. Finding Lance attractive didn’t mean Keith _liked_ him- it just meant he found him appealing. At that thought Keith felt the tension in his shoulders fade away slightly, the weird bubbling in his stomach lessening but not going away.

“I don’t like Lance.” Keith repeats, sounding more sure of himself. Shiro’s brows are still furrowed in concern, as he opens his mouth to say something- Keith beats him to the punch. “ _But_ ,” he adds, “I might think that from certain angles, in specific lighting Lance might be _kind of_...hot.” Keith says, voice going quiet. Shiro is staring at him with a strange expression. “I don’t like him.” Keith insists, feeling some odd need to have Shiro believe him. Shiro’s expression is still reluctant but he slowly nods.

Keith’s shoulders sag in relief.

“The others are probably waiting for us.” Keith offers, turning and dumping the microfiber towel down the chute on the wall. Shiro walks beside him as the two silently make their way to the bridge.

Keith doesn’t like Lance. He _doesn’t_.

But he does think he’s attractive...sometimes.  But Keith _can’t_ like Lance because Lance is...Lance. Liking Lance would never work out for him.

Thinking that he’s kind of attractive is safer. Keith can just jack off and then It’d be over and done with. But Keith _can’t_ like Lance, because if Keith _does_ like him then...how does he get rid of it? It always seems so hard to do in movies.

As Keith and Shiro turn the corner to enter the bridge, Keith spots Lance on the opposite end of the hall, slowly approaching with a wide grin on his face.

Like clockwork the heat returns, curling around Keith’s spine and dancing across his skin. Keith bites his lip as the two finally meet in front of the bridge doors.

“Evening, mullet-head.” Lance smiles, teeth glinting from behind his plush, glossy lips. Keith swallows the ball in his throat. Rather than await a response Lance turns on his heel and makes his way through the door, which immediately opened for him.

As Keith follows, he resists the urge to lock his eyes onto the slight sashay of the other boy’s hips.

Keith doesn’t like him.

He _doesn’t_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh next time we finally get to some face to face interaction with discount legolas and team voltron!!!!  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	16. if you want love, lower your expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance, keith, and pidge make it onto the galra ship and face some slight complications and keith reaches an epiphany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahkfsbFI I finally got to finish this chapter. even tho my finals ended last week i had some catch up work i had to do during the weekend before grades were finalized and then when i got home my parents had me do some errands but now I finally got to post the chapter!!!!!!

Now if Keith lied to himself (which he never did) he’d probably say that Lance’s decision to remain pressed against him as they took a seat in the Green Lion’s jaws was rooted in his possible attraction to Keith.

Because Keith wasn’t _blind_ and he knew he was attractive- so it was absolutely _plausible_ for Lance _‘I want to get punched in the face by hotness’_ McClain to be as least _somewhat_ interested.

Not that it mattered to Keith whether or not Lance, _of all people_ , thought he was attractive.

Because Keith has seen Lance fall to his knees and sob in thanks after being offered the last ‘buttered croissant’ while they were cleaning up from a diplomatic dinner. So Lance’s tendency to be physically affectionate was hardly compelling evidence.

“Pidge,” Keith began, trying to find a distraction for his slight crisis as Lance’s thigh, one again, pressed against his, “what’s our ETA?”

Pidge made a slight huffing sound from their comms as their Lion continued smoothly sailing in the direction of Lotor’s ship.

“I’m trying to get within scanning-range of the ship so Green can lock onto where there’s a high amount of activity for transmissions” Pidge replies as the Green Lion rumbles slightly under their feet. “But we’re getting close, let’s just hope Allura and the others can keep Lotor occupied while we board the ship.”

Keith nods slowly, legs tensing as he prepared to leap out as soon as the Green Lion attached themselves to the Galra vessel.

Keith hasn’t quite decided how he feels about the entire situation.

It’s a strange situation- finding out that your enemy wants to bone your teammate. Usually situations like this are only supposed to happen in the 99 cent romance novels he used to buy from the shitty convenience stores back on Earth. Not out in space where overused love tropes aren’t _supposed_ to happen, especially not in the middle of an _intergalactic space war_.

Keith expected better from the Universe.

Because, _really_ ? Lance? They chose _Lance_ to be the center of this shit show?

Keith’s thighs are beginning to ache from being kept in a starting position but as soon as Keith feels the Green Lion tremble underneath his foot, signifying a successful boarding, he immediately leaps out, landing crouched on the belly of the Galra ship. Two dulled thumps land a few feet behind him seconds later, with one approaching him, stopping only a foot away and Keith somehow instinctively knows that it’s Lance and not Pidge. The Blue Paladin comes up behind him, eyes peering over his shoulder, as Keith raises his bayard, preparing to carve an opening into the ship’s hull.

As Keith begins hacking away he pretends not to feel the Blue Paladin’s gaze on him.

He also pretends that his heart doesn’t beat harder in his chest at the feeling.

XxX

The three of them are able to board with relative ease, entering through the ship’s service corridors and into a darkened passage that requires the light of their gauntlets for them to see.

“This place is like a ghost town,” Pidge comments idly as they lead the other two Paladins through the winding hallways, “no lighting, no sentries, no security doors, what’s this Lotor guy thinking?”

“Probably that no one would be able to get onboard.” Keith replies, eyes sharply scanning their surroundings, wary of the darkened alcoves they pass.

“I kinda like it.” Lance says, a slight grin on his lips as he shines his gauntlet down the hall. “It’s gotta a _villainy_ vibe goin for it.” He gushes.

“How is that a good thing?” Keith asks blandly, raising a brow at the other boy. Lance huffs slightly, putting both hands on his hips like he always does when he’s annoyed.

“I said I _liked_ it, not that is was good! God, you never listen to me!”

“Would you two put a sock in it!” Pidge hisses as they continue to creep silently forward, eyes scanning for any sign of a patrol. Pidge releases a slight breath before stopping suddenly and turning to face Lance and Keith. “Green was able to pinpoint the part of the ship that had the most incoming and outgoing transmissions made, aside from the bridge.” Pidge says, strangely tense, eyes focused as they took in the diagram of the map laid out in front of them.

“Great.” Keith says, a slight weight lifting from his shoulders as he tried to see whatever Pidge was seeing from their holographic rendering of the Galra vessel.

“But there’s a catch,” they say, shoulders going taut as they met the eyes of both the Red and Blue Paladin. “I didn’t realize until now where the map was leading us,” they say quietly, eyes flickering to the hall with maroon tinted lights only a few steps away from where they were hidden in the darkness.

“What kind of catch?” Lance asks curiously, head tilted as they leaned in closer to Pidge, his shoulder brushing against Keith as he did so.

“These corridors lead into the ship’s living quarters.” Pidge says, biting their lip slightly. “That means the transmissions are being made from-”

“Lotor’s room.” Keith says, realization hitting him. Suddenly Keith’s mind is swirling through all sorts of scenarios because they’re delving into someone’s _personal space_ . It really shouldn't bother him- especially since it’s Lotor that they’re investigating. But this is also Lotor, the guy who, _apparently_ , has the hots for Lance.

While he resist the urge, Keith’s eyes can’t help but flicker over to Lance who is peering down at the map with focused eyes, the light shining off the blue of his iris.

Keith can’t imagine this going well.

XxX

Keith’s always had a bit of an active imagination. The worst case scenario almost always pops into his head- mainly because he ends up being right and those ‘scenarios’ end up becoming reality.

But as he and Lance stand in front of Lotor’s door, watching both ends of the hall while Pidge fidgeted with the lock, Keith honestly doesn’t know what to expect. Maybe some creepy altar with candles and candid pictures of Lance?

That always happens in the movies.

But when Pidge lets out a low cry of triumph and the door behind them swings open, Keith turns and is greeted with the sight of an incredibly...plain room. The fanciest thing present is a large, dark canopy bed leaning against the far wall of the room. A majority of the space is taken up by what looks like a writing desk, featuring a holographic screen serving as some sort of vanity. For a Prince, Keith was expecting something more...Prince-like. Even Allura indulged herself with more elaborate fixtures like bright hanging lights, jewelry boxes hosting loose gems, and multiple brightly colored pillows to prop her up during the night. Lotor’s room looked like it was hardly ever used. Though Keith was in no position to criticize since he, as far as he could tell, was the only Paladin who had yet to personalize their dorm on the ship.

“The broadcasting signal is coming from this.” Pidge informs them as they start into the room, eyes locked on the writing desk Keith had noted upon seeing the room. Keith feels slightly uneasy wandering into the room of his enemy; it’s like some deep part of him is setting off warning bells in his head that this isn’t a place he’s welcome.

“Oh, _neat_!” Lance suddenly exclaims from behind him. Keith turns on his heel, hand already gripping his bayard when he spots Lance hovering over a circular table beside a large, plush chair.

“What is it?” Keith asks, starting forward. “What did you find?”

When Keith finally gets close enough to peek around Lance’s shoulder he’s greeted with the sight of Lance delicately removing the seals off crystal-like bottles and small translucent jars. He nearly has a heart attack when he sees Lance take a deep sniff of a jar with some strange black powder that he held up to his nose.

“Lance!” He hisses in slight alarm, slapping the Blue Paladins hand and watching as a smoky cascade of the ash-like substance fell to the floor. Stopping Lance from putting strange things into his body is like trying to stop a dog from diving for potentially toxic scraps on Thanksgiving and Keith would know since he’s had to do both.

Lance immediately whines at the loss, falling to his knees and attempting to scoop the product back into the circular vial it was spilled from.

“ _What_ were you doing?” Keith asks, demanding to know. Lance huffs and shoots him a look like _Keith_ is the one trying to snort an unknown material into his nasal passages.

“Ummm I’m trying to see what kinda stash Lotor has?” Lance asks like it’s obvious, gesturing to the low table. “And I think what you just so _rudely_ knocked out of my hands was some kind of oil-infused exfoliating powder.” Lance informs him matter-of-factly.

Keith has no idea how Lance could tell that from just briefly smelling it and Keith _kinda_ wants to ask him but he also doesn’t want Lance to launch into some winded spiel that would inevitably lead back to a critique of Keith’s hair, nails, and skin (and so what if Keith doesn’t know what ‘cuticle oil’ is? If all of humankind managed to survive fine without it for thousands of years then Keith is pretty sure that he can too). Just as Keith opens his mouth to reply, Pidge makes a slightly frustrated noise behind them.

Forgetting Lance for a second, Keith inclines his head back, lowering his gaze onto the Green Paladin who has somehow managed to get the Galran system to turn on. A purple holographic screen fills the room with a dim light and Keith watches as Pidge begins translating the Galran characters into Altean. Keith might not know much about coding (geography and algebra is more his strong suit) but he’s watched Pidge work often enough to know that the screen should be _filled_ with untranslated lines of information and data.

“What’s going on?” Keith asks, feeling something off about the situation. Pidge should have loads of files at their fingertips by now- _so why don’t they?_

“This isn’t a transmission room.” Pidge grits out, their fingers flying across a red keyboard, floating in front of the vanity. “This is a storage unit, the frequencies I picked up are from previous correspondences.” They say, their back tensed like a coiled spring.

“Meaning?” Lance asks softly from behind him.

“It means that unless we have some sort of plug in, drive, or even a _tablet-_ we can’t get any information. This is less of a transmission room and more of a viewing station.” Pidge says, their shoulders slumping slightly. Keith feels a flood of disappointment fill him as well. They took this chance, knowing that this could be their only shot to get priceless intel from one of the most powerful figures in the Empire. Sooner or later Lotor and the rest of the Empire are going to hear about the hit on the sentry plant in the Machurin Galaxy and they’d all leave the posts of where they’d last updated (they’re not stupid, they’d know that their under the table deals were probably discovered)- and Voltron would be left in the dark once again.

Keith can feel his blunt nails beginning to dig into the meat of his palm, frustration and disappointment at the thought of having to face Shiro, Allura, and Kolivan and tell them they got _nothing_ from Lotor’s ship when they returned to the castle.  Keith’s mind is flying through ideas, trying to think of a way to save the mission from failure when Lance suddenly starts past him. Keith watches, in slight confusion, as the other boy rests a gentle hand on Pidge’s head, urging them to look up.

“Aw come on Pidgey, we can fix this!” He insists, grinning widely. Pidge continues to frown but doesn’t try to throw Lance’s hand off their head.

“How?” They ask, gesturing to the table. “It’s like Kolivan said, Lotor’s probably got a drive or something that he carries around with him and unless we can get it than this whole mission was for nothing!” Pidge says, voice getting slightly louder as their unhappiness at the situation shone through.

“Well can’t you just connect this system to the Castle’s so that we can view whatever Lotor does the next time he plugs something in?” Lance asks, looking genuinely inquisitive. Keith isn’t sure about how realistic Lance’s idea is (considering Lance’s ideas rarely fall under the category of feasible) but Pidge’s eyes widened upon hearing Lance’s suggestion. Keith can practically see the gears in Pidge’s head turning as they stare up at Lance in barely disguised astonishment.

“You mean like...streaming to the Castle?” Pidge asks quietly, a slow grin beginning to form. Even Keith feels impressed at Lance’s idea, they’re almost never so...PG.

“I was thinking more along the lines of _‘Live Sex Cam’_ but sure.” Lance shrugs.

And there it is.

Keith immediately feels his face fall and watches as Pidge’s grin turns into pursed lips, their eyes marginally judgemental as they stare up at the innocently smiling Lance.

Lance was like a tiny needle. He always had to go bursting bubbles didn’t he?

Pidge turns instantly back around, pulling a cable attached to their gauntlet out of a small slot and plugging it into the Galran dashboard in front of them. Lance backs up slowly and claps a hand on Keith’s shoulder as he passes him. Despite his best effort, Keith can’t stop the slight upward curl of his lips when Lance’s fingers leave his plated body.

Pidge is working quickly as Keith watches closely, eyes flickering between them and the Altean countdown displayed in his helmet. They made good time getting on board and getting to their target location, but they’ve still got to get out before they hit the projected limit before the rest of the team has given their all at trying to distract Lotor with a video transmission between him and the Castle. So Keith has to keep them focused, make sure Pidge and Lance are safe and their mission is done as swiftly and efficiently as possible. This isn’t Keith’s first rodeo, but no matter how much he tried to reign in focus his mind kept drifting off...

Lotor’s room gives him an... _itch_ , and standing around being unable to do anything about it leaves him uneasy. Keith has never been the fidgety type but being in another Galra’s quarters has him pacing slightly. He can tell his movements are beginning to annoy Pidge when they glance over their shoulder to glare at him, their eyes silently questioning him on what he thinks he’s doing.

Keith’s just in the dark as Pidge is. But he also doesn't want to be a factor in the mission’s failure so before he can hesitate, he opens his mouth to speak.

“I’ll secure our perimeter.” He announces, tightening his fist around his bayard and spinning around before Pidge can offer any sort of protest. Keith’s halfway to the door when his eyes fall on Lance. At the sight before him he stops.

“Lance.” He says, voice edging slightly into exasperation. Keith doesn’t even need to look behind him to know that Pidge has turned around as well.

“What?” Lance asks, raising his arms in silent question at the group staring at him. His breastplate has been partially removed, enough for him to pull back the neck of the armour, which he is using to stuff Lotor’s trinkets down for safe keeping- presumably since they’re coming under new ownership (specifically _Lance’s_ ownership). “We already broke into his room, we _might as well_ rob his ass.”

“Stay here and look after Pidge., I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.” Keith says rather than try to respond to Lance’s logic.

Keith speed walks down the hall, keeping his eyes open as he does a quick scan of his surroundings. Getting away from that miasma ridden room allows him to have more of a breather and gather himself together. Neither Pidge nor Lance seemed to have any sort of issue in the room (Lance especially). But it also seemed like it might’ve been something exclusive to him- if it had been an environmental issue then surely they must’ve felt something, but they didn't. Which left the only other option as _Keith_ being the problem. He was, after all, the only one who felt _off_. At that thought, he felt himself slow down, steps becoming smaller as he stopped in front of the opening to what seemed like a large atrium. Purple lights hung from the ceiling and the hum of machinery was completely absent, allowing the room to sit in absolute silence.

Keith felt his hand raise his bayard to his chest as he critically swept his gaze from corner to corner. Pidge’s map was able to give him a decent layout of the ship, so he knows for a fact that the bridge where the personnel on board are likely still being distracted are still a long ways away.

As Keith turns to leave a slight crackle emerges from his helmet. He frowns and lightly knocks against the communications beacon on the side of his head.

“Hello?” He asks lowly, brows furrowing in slight confusion. “Shiro is that you?”

Before he can get a response, a sudden hit to his lower back has him stumbling forward. The unexpected force nearly topples him but he manages to regain his footing quick enough to spin around and block a harsh punch aimed towards his head with his forearms. Keith grunts and quickly retreats several feet into the hall where he immediately materializes his bayard into his sword. Keith spreads both legs out enough for a solid defensive stance, bending his knees slightly, and holding his sword out in front of him.

The Galra in front of him is probably the _least_ Galra looking he’s ever seen. Long, white, slicked back hair is the first things he notices. Followed by lavender colored skin, yellow eyes with bright blue irises, and a solid foot and a half of height over him. Somehow Keith knows exactly who’s standing in front of him. The atmosphere of the room he’d just left Pidge and Lance in clings to the person in front of him like a second skin.

“Lotor.” He says dryly, eyes weary as he waited to see what the large Galra would do. The Galra’s eyes are narrowed on him, a neutral expression on his face as he looked Keith up and down.

“You know who I am.” He replies, somehow managing to not make it sound like a question.

“You bet I do.” Keith responds, voice tense as he watches Lotor take several steps backward, even as his eyes never left Keith’s. He doesn’t know how and he doesn’t know why, but it’s a clear invitation for him to march forward into the atrium.

So he does.

Keith steps into the open room, keeping his bayard pointed in warning as Lotor begins to circle him like a lion waiting for their latest meal to stumble. Keith immediately mirrors his actions, maintaining the distance between them. The others might like to think that Keith is just some hot-headed idiot that doesn’t think before he leaps into danger but even _he_ still has a sense of self-preservation. But even without that he knows that Lotor is someone to be wary of. Keith can see it in the rise of his shoulders like he’s anticipating for Keith to make the first move. He can see it in the lines of his forehead, they’re the same ones Allura gets when she’s stressed and trying not to show it. He can see it in the sharpness of his gaze and the focus of his eyes. It’s clear to Keith that Lotor is someone who is used to appearing in a certain way and the slightly frazzled appearance is enough to tip him off that the Galra Prince has been thrown off by something.

“I thought it strange when the Altean Princess established a communication line between us.” Lotor comments as he stops circling Keith.

Keith doesn’t reply.

“She was asking my surrender yet did not use the Lions as leverage.” Lotor adds casually as he locks eyes with Keith. “She became insistent when I tried to leave the room and desperately tried to keep my attention.”

Keith feels his thighs tense in preparation.

“It was almost as if she was...distracting me.”

At that Keith rushes forward, stepping first with his right foot and thrusting his sword in Lotor’s direction. The Galran Prince swiftly ducks and tries to sweep Keith’s feet out from under him. Keith leaps up before he has a chance and ends up taking a swift punch to his stomach as a result. He resists the urge to gag and instead focuses his attention back onto the slightly smiling Lotor.

“I must say, it is quite bold of you to board my ship.” He remarks, gaze oozing superiority as he looked down at Keith’s slightly hunched over figure. “But boldness does not win wars.” He adds, gaze losing all amusement as he glared down at Keith. “Now,” He begins, raising a leg and kicking Keith’s chest hard enough to knock him onto his back. “What. Are. You. Doing. _On. My. Ship._ ”

“We’re here to take all of your Empire secrets hot buns!” A voice calls out from the entrance to the room. Keith watches, in slight fascination, as Lotor’s eyes go momentarily wide before he whips his head around to find the source of the sound, Keith already know who it is without even having to look.

Lance is standing proudly with both hands on his hips near the entrance, a wide grin on his face as he stares down at Lotor.

“Got room for one more in this twosome?” He asks as he practically fucking _glides_ into the room. Keith slowly begins inching away as Lotor’s attention is taken by Lance. The Blue Paladin doesn’t have his bayard visible anywhere and Keith almost wants to yell at him, but also doesn’t want to ruin the clear opening Lance has given him.

“You must be Lotor.” Lance says, eyes sparkling in delight as he stops a few feet in front of the Galran Prince. Keith notes how he’s now trapped between him and Lance. Two against one are good odds, if they can take Lotor down quickly then they should be able to retrieve Pidge and get back to the Lion before any of Lotor’s gofers have a chance to even the score.

“Baby, _where_ have you been all my life?” Lance asks just as Keith raises his sword above Lotor’s head.

Wait, _what_?

“I mean nail solution _and_ an enzyme dry exfoliant? Damn. If I was a weaker man I’d make the beast with two backs with you- right here, right now, in front of everybody.” Lance comments, tone light as he steps into Lotor’s personal space, practically close enough to taste the same air. Keith’s arms is still frozen in the air as he stares at Lance in disbelief.

Lotor seems to share his sentiment since his brows have become furrowed in what seems to be confusion as he gazes down at Lance with an indiscernible emotion.

Keith feels his jaw clench as he watches Lance slither into Lotor’s frozen arms, standing on his tiptoes so the tip of his nose nearly brushes the Galra’s chin. A heavy weight has begun to settle into Keith’s chest at the sight of Lance’s lips brushing against Lotor’s neck. The Galra’s entire neck stiffens as Lance’s  mouth finally reaches one of their pointy ears.

“You wanna know something really cool?” He asks, tone slightly breathless.

Lotor remains unmoving, eyes wider than dinner plates as his hands tremble by his sides.

“It’s the- _thingrightbehindyou_!” Lance suddenly yells, an edge of shock to his voice as he points behind Lotor with his finger, his eyes widened in shock. Keith feels his shoulders tense and whips around, eyes frantically searching for whatever it was that Lance was trying to warn about. Just as he does he hears a grunt followed by a breathless wheeze behind him. Keith manages to turn around fast enough to see Lotor fall to his knees, hands grasping his body suit right where his crotch would be.

Did Lance just….

“Hurry!” Lance suddenly exclaims, not giving Keith a chance to finish his thought before grabbing his sword arm and pulling him forward. Lance begins to drag him in the direction of the hallway that leads to Lotor’s room. As he does, Keith can’t help but look behind him. Lotor is still on the floor, his face locked in a grimace- as they get farther, Keith can’t help but notice how the other Galra’s eyes never leave Lance’s back.

XxX

Keith manages to pull his arm from Lance’s grasp and keep on his tail as they race to their entry point to the ship. Keith’s helmet is crackling more and more the closer they get to the Green Lion, enough for him to make out a few words by the rest of the team on the Castle.

_‘i..th..ance..resp..d...Pi..ge...respon...eith...La...Pid..g..espond!’_

The words seem frantic and Keith can’t imagine what’s going through the rest of the team’s mind at their apparent radio silence.

Lance is somehow able to blindly navigate them through the darkened corridor. The lack of light lets Keith focus on the sounds he hears, which is mainly the heavy breathing of him and Lance as they make their escape. Keith doesn’t hear any footsteps behind them but that doesn’t provide as much comfort as he thought it would.

The hollow sounds of their footsteps on the floor of a service corridor fills Keith with relief as they both turn a corner and are able to make out the depressurized chamber where Keith carved an opening into the hull of the ship. Lance quickly makes his way through, thighs flexing as he pushes himself out into the void of space. Keith follows after him without hesitation.

The Green Lion has already detached and is waiting for them, their jaw unhinged and waiting for them to board. With a slight boost from their jet packs both Red and Blue Paladins are able to enter the Lion who immediately slams their jaws shut.

Keith’s comms are suddenly filled with the voices of his teammates.

“-was a communication barrier surrounding the ship!” He hears Pidge yell into his comms and distantly hears their voice coming from the cockpit. “You couldn’t hear us and we couldn’t hear you! When I made the connection between the Galran systems and the Castle’s it must’ve weakened enough for us to get the gist of your warning.”

“Return to the hanger as quickly as you can.” Allura orders. “I’m preparing a wormhole so that we can make an escape without the situation escalating.”

Keith makes a slightly confused noise as he attempts to rise from his sprawled position on the floor of the Green Lion, the escape and gut-punch from Lotor both having taken the wind out of him.

“Hey,” Lance says softly, resting his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “You good?”

Keith feels himself nod as he pushes himself back to lean against the wall beside Lance.

“How’d you know to come get me?” He manages to croak out. Lance grins tiredly and taps his helmet.

“Shiro’s warning that Lotor had left the control deck managed to make it through after Pidge finished connecting our Sex Cam.”

Keith feels a grimace instantly latch itself onto his face.

“Don’t call it that.”

Lance gives a slightly breathless laugh and slumps a bit onto Keith, letting his head fall onto the Red Paladins shoulder.

For reasons Keith can’t quite grasp, he doesn’t shrug Lance off.

XxX

The rest of the team (save Allura) meet them in the hanger as soon as they disembarked from the Green Lion. Hunk somehow manages to wrap him, Lance, and Pidge into a tight hug before setting them back onto the floor and having an almost sweet reunion with Lance where the Blue Paladin proceeds to climb Hunk like a tree and wrap himself around him like a koala.

Keith is met by a worn looking Shiro who greets him with a heavy pat on the back that nearly forces him to topple over.

Lance was right. This human beefcake really didn’t know his own strength.

At the thought of the Blue Paladin Keith instantly feels his breath stutter. His heart hadn’t slowed down the entire ride to the castle and at first Keith had thought it was residual adrenaline. But as the rest of his muscles steadily relaxed the pounding of his heart never went away, not until Lance had left his arms and bounded down into Hunk’s.

“Shiro.” He says quietly, hoping they’re far enough from the rest of the group. “I need your help.”

XxX

It takes a while before they can all retire into their rooms. Pidge gives the rest of the team a basic rundown of the situation that occured on the Galra ship and their plan to play the long game until Lotor gave them what they wanted first.

Keith waits it all out with more patience than he’s had his entire life.

As soon as Allura dismisses them, Keith waits by the door as Shiro quietly cleans up some details with Allura before trotting after him to the Black Paladin's room. Shiro lets Keith in first and gestures for him to have a seat on his bed.

“Now, what did you need help with?” Shiro asks, brows raised in interest as Keith slowly slumps down on the Black Paladin’s bed.

He opens his mouth to respond but frowns slightly when he feels something digging into the hand he’s laid down on the light sheets.

“Are...are these crumbs?” Keith asks incredulously as he lifts his hands and examines the small flakes of what was clearly some sort of burnt pastry.

“Don’t worry about it.” Shiro replies, face urging him on.

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Shiro restates, his face practically begging Keith not to ask.

“Okay.” Keith finally says, slightly hesitant before his head slumped back down, gaze locked onto the floor. “I told you that I...need your help.” Keith begins, a ball in his throat forming and making it harder for him to speak. “I need your help because...because..I-I think….”

Keith takes a shaky breath, mind flashing back to the warmth that envelops his body whenever Lance makes his way onto his radar. The hammering of his heart when the Blue Paladin popped the bubble of personal boundary between them and laid against Keith the entire ride to and from the Galra ship. He recalls how Lance’s laughter and brightly grinning face makes him feel like his chest is being filled with rocks. He remembers how Lance’s light teasing never fails to make his skin buzz with excitement. Keith’s breathing slowly steadies, enough for him to choke out his words.

“I think I _like_ Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotor during battle: when you try to be serious but your gay keeps getting in the way  
> XxX  
> Lance: is able to execute a quickly thought out plan where he deceives his enemy and rescues his teammate from a tight situation all without having to fight or summon his bayard.  
> Also Lance: would absolutely bang someone to get a bottle of glitter nail polish and a $25 gift card to sephora.  
> XxX  
> Little excerpt from next chapter:  
> “Is it weird if I kinda wanna let him rearrange my guts?”  
> Shiro stared at him for a long moment. Lance was beginning to feel awkward when the other Paladin finally opened their mouth.  
> “Did you honestly just ask me if it’d be weird for you to pity fuck our enemy?”  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	17. send my ass to the shadow realm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which hunk recalls a fond memory, the team discovers what secrets lotor holds, and lance has a moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today was a good day!!! My mom made tamales verdes and my dad brought conchas for breakfast!! So since i had a pretty good day you deserve to too!!!
> 
> Happy Holidays Motherfuckers.

Hunk remembers the very first time he met Lance.

It was an especially warm Summer day and Hunk was seeking refuge beneath the shade of the local playground’s trees, desperately trying to finish his cherry ice pop before it melted. That was when he spotted another boy, around his age and vaguely familiar, kneeling in the sandbox and using a discarded red plastic cup and a half-empty bottle of water to build a sandcastle.

It was the _ugliest_ sandcastle that he had ever seen. All four walls were slanted and collapsing in on each other, the foundation of the castle lacked all support at the base in order to be built from the ground up, and it looked like the blue-eyed builder was attempting to form arched doorways by punching them in.

Now normally Hunk wouldn’t make it his business to drop in on a random stranger and offer critiques (because his mom informed him that was rude after he did for the fifth time) but Hunk’s seen enough episodes of _‘Extreme Engineering’_ to know that this young boy _needed_ him.

So rather than stand around staring like a creeper, Hunk starts forward and ends up standing beside the other boy as he happily scooped sand into his little cup. It took a minute for the other boy to spot him, his hands freezing as they tried to reattach a fallen wall that fell on Hunk’s shoe. As blue eyes rose to meet Hunk’s gaze, Hunk felt his own expression shift from meandering to curious.

A friendly smile tugged at his lips and before he could stop himself, Hunk waved his hand in greeting. “Hi! I’m Hunk!”

The other boy hesitates for a moment, head tilting in confusion, before a large smile began to creep across his face.

“I know! You’re in my class!” He replies loudly, standing up and holding out a soaked hand with grains of sand sticking to it. “I’m Lance.” He adds, wide toothy grin practically gleaming. Hunk shakes it even as his mind comes to a full stop, brain working in overdrive as he tried to take in Lance’s face (large smile, bright eyes, and all). The two of them were classmates?

Just as Hunk was about to ask Lance to explain he was suddenly struck with the memory of a small boy that sat in the far corner of the room, all the way in the back, head almost always down. As Hunk does a side by side comparison in his head of the boy that shared Ms. Zonum’s first grade class with him and the friendly boy who makes terrible sandcastles, a sudden shock of realization hits him.

Hunk must’ve been silent for too long because it takes him awhile to note how Lance is no longer smiling and instead shuffling nervously in front of him.

“O-Oh!” He exclaims. “I remember! You sit in the back, right?”

Lance looks up at him, eyes like water sparkling in growing happiness before nodding earnestly. Hunk grins and is about to take a step forward, maybe ask Lance if he wants to hang upside down on the monkey bars with him and see who throws up first, when his foot accidentally steps in a loose mound of sand. Hunk glances down and suddenly his original intentions come flooding back to him.

“Is this your sandcastle?” He asks. Lance nods, grinning proudly and chest puffing out in pride at the large pile of grit.

Hunk forces a smile onto his face. “Do..do you maybe wanna...work on it together?”

At that Lance freezes, face going still. Hunk is about to apologize, thinking he may have mistepped when Lance shoot him a look unlike anything Hunk has ever recieved. Like Hunk hung the moon in the sky and then proceeded to splatter on the stars.

“Yes!” Lance yells, almost bouncing in excitement. Hunk isn’t able to get another word in before he’s being forced down onto his knees beside Lance, sand squishing between his fingers as his cherry popsicle lands somewhere in the mess.

It was that moment that Hunk knew he’d found something _truly_ special.

XxX

The two spend the rest of the day turning  Lance’s sad little construction into a real _marvel_. By the time the sun is beginning to set Hunk and Lance are nearly finished with their joint masterpiece.

“You’re good at this!” Lance grins when Hunk finishes reinforcing the northern wall of the castle with tightly packed individual blocks of sand mixed with capfuls of water to keep them stable. Hunk nods in agreement, wide grin and happiness overtaking the uncomfortable feeling of sand under his nails. “Wanna be my boyfriend?” Lance suddenly asks, eyes gleaming in excitement as he leans in close enough to breath softly on Hunk’s cheek.

And Hunk, thinking Lance was asking him to be his _friend_ , who also happens to be a _boy-_ readily agrees. (Of course that comes back to haunt him weeks later when Lance cries at discovering that his new friend is _just_ that).

But following that day Hunk and Lance were like socks- they always came in pairs.

Hunk was there was there when Lance worked up the nerve to ask out Tessa Mcthorn. Then was there to comfort Lance when she laughed him back into his shell. (He was also there for Amber, Eren, Mason, Dina, Marco, Anthony, Jenni, Pearl, Chelsea, Olivia, and Bobbi years later when Lance tried his hand at dating once again).

But past heartbreaks aside- the important thing is that Hunk has known Lance for _years_ . Hunk was Lance’s very first friend and so it was his personal _mission_ to ensure that Lance was happy and healthy. The Galra’s so called “interest” in him complicated things somewhat.

Hunk didn’t care what Allura, Shiro, or even _Kolivan_ said- Lance was a sensitive boy and his feelings got hurt easily even if he may not show it to anyone but Hunk (and even then that’s still rare). Of course Hunk is glad that Lance has gained some self-confidence (real confidence) following all their recent experiences but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop looking out for him.

No matter how often Lance may glide into a room, sprouting off pick-up lines, and looking like the very picture of conviction alongside his long legs, bright smile, kissy lips, and hypnotic eyes- to Hunk he’ll still always see that lonely kid that sat in the back of the room because everyone thought he was too “weird” to befriend.

Naturally, Lance has grown since that day (Hunk once watched Lance nearly bust someone’s knee cap for a sixty dollar bottle of moisturizer) and it brings pride to Hunk’s heart at having been around to see Lance become the person he is. But just because Lance is stronger and more than capable of looking out for himself, doesn’t mean Hunk won’t still be there.

Because if someone wants to mess with his brother’s heart then they’re gunna have to go through _Hunk_ first.

XxX

According to Pidge, it was almost laughable how fast Lotor reconnected to their tapped dashboard. Or at least ‘laughable’ was what they thought until the information they extracted was projected up on the large holographic screen at the front of the castle's bridge.

“What is _this_ bullshit?” Pidge asked incredulously, ignoring Shiro’s loud hum of disapproval. Up on the display was a long list that appeared to be categorized by name if the matching symbols of the first word meant anything.

“They appear to be files of some sort.” Coran suggests after Pidge initiated a translation to Altean.

“But why would Lotor organize data into files rather than logs? That just doesn’t make any sense!” Pidge says, deeply frowning. “It’d be completely counterproductive and would take up too much storage on the systems!”

“Perhaps the information on the files is formatted in a manner to make this form of archiving necessary.” Kolivan points out. The Blades beside him loom silently, observing the proceedings with no other indication of their presence.

“Can you read what it says?” Shiro asks from beside Allura. “Maybe give us an idea what it might be about?”

Kolivan shook his head.

“The words are in Galran script but seem to be encoded.” He replied. “The files need to be decrypted first before any sort of translation can take place.”

“Well then let’s see what kind of stuff we risked our neck out there for.” Pidge mumbles, selecting the files and steadily watching as slowly, word for word, the chosen document was run through their decoder. Galran letters began flashing in an out of place but not before they were swiftly translated to the Altean script and then finally Earth characters. The Blades of Marmora and members of Voltron all eagerly waited for the program to finish running its course through the entirety of the document. A light _‘ting’_ rang throughout the bridge of the castle, signifying it’s completion and as one, all the Paladins immediately felt their eyes drift to the first few lines.

_‘The Blue Paladin arched into the relentless thrusts of the body hovering over him._

_“Say my name.” The Galran Prince ordered. Blue whined underneath him, head lolling back in a mixture of exhaustion and pleasure. “Say my_ **_name_ ** _!” He repeated, growling as he dug his nails into the soft flesh of the paladin’s.-’_

“Okay!” Pidge suddenly yelled, hands flying to dismiss the display at the front of the screen. “That’s enough of that!”

“Wait, Pidge! I wasn’t done!” Lance suddenly shrieked, face wrought with devastation as he turned to face the stone face Green Paladin.

“You gotta be fucking _shitting_ me.” Keith said, voice tinged with disbelief as Shiro shifted anxiously beside Allura, eyes flickering between the screen and the rest of the team as if unsure of what to do.

“I just put my ass on the line for...for Lotor’s _porn collection_!?” Pidge burst out, leaping from their seat and looking like the very picture of indignant. At their words both the Alteans and Galra’s present went ramrod straight. Hunk had taken to hovering between Pidge and Lance, who still looked relatively upset (though likely not for the sentiments shared by the others).

“I mean it’s not _that_ bad.” Lance says, trying (and failing) to soothe the tempers of his teammates. “I mean think of it this way- this is probably the _first_ and _only_ POV porn featuring a human we’ll find out in space.”

Pidge instantly whipped around to face him, their hands held out, clenched, in his direction as if they were attempting to telepathically choke him.

“You are sooooo lucky that I love you a little bit and that I promised Shiro I wouldn’t try something on you- because otherwise I would sneak into your room tonight _and cut your vocal chords as you slept!_ ” Pidge spit out, eyes holding a slightly manic light and Hunk, for a solid second, actually thought Pidge finally lost it (and he always thought _he’d_ be the first to snap).

Lance is silent and wide-eyed for a whopping three seconds before replying.

“So...is that like a _‘no’_ on the porn or…?”

Hunk is quick enough to wrap his arms around Pidge’s body to stop them from completing their lunge at Lance, who was watching with a slightly offended expression as Pidge attempted to kick him with their short, stubby legs.

“My legs are not stubby!” Pidge immediately protests, grunting as they turned their attention to Hunk, stretching out their little hands in an attempt to reach him. Hunk easily leant his face away.

“I hope you realize who it is you're attacking.” Hunk replies and feeling to much like the parental unit in this equation.

“So it seems as though our realm of knowledge is still the same.” Allura says, a contemplating expression on her face. Hunk has no idea how she’s able to casually ignore Pidge’s sudden (but not unexpected) violent tendencies.

“That is correct.” Kolivan nods, _also_ ignoring Hunk and his struggle. “We still managed to retain the information from the sentry plant as well as the dealings occuring there, while this may be a disappointment it is far from a failure.”

“I’ll say!” Lance calls out from where he’s seated himself at Pidge’s station with the Green Paladin’s information tablet in hand and a satisfied  grin tugging at his lips. “I love how _fuckable_ I am here!” He informs them, blue eyes scanning the lines of dialogue in front of him. “Merla really outdid herself.”

“Lance go to your room.” Shiro immediately says, pointing at the door with his Galra arm and looking all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Lance looks legitimately shocked.

“What’d I _do_?” He asks, looking slightly hurt as he held the porno of himself to his chest.

“You’re fanning the flames of the sexually repressed in this room and there is only so much that I can take _in one day_.” Shiro replies, eyes pained.

At his words Keith turns a bright shade of red, which could be a sign of either embarrassment or anger considering the glare he was shooting the Black Paladin.

Despite the order from Shiro, Lance did not move. Instead he huffed slightly and crossed his arms, still seated at Pidge’s station.

“Parley.” He responds, nose raised slightly at Shiro.

“What?” Shiro replies incredulously.

“Parley.” Lance repeats. “I wish to negotiate the terms of this dispute and enter a suspension of hostilities.”

“Suspension of hostil-?” Shiro closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lance I just asked you to go to your _room_.”

“And I wish to enter a negotiation with the captain of this ship!” Lance shoots back, voice dangerously treading into ‘screech’ territory. Shiro takes a slow steadying breath and, not for the first time, Hunk pities him.

“What do you want?” Shiro asks diplomatically. Lance smiles the same self-satisfied smile he’s made since Hunk met him.

“I want to take _this_ ,” Lance says, raising Pidge’s tablet, “with me to my room and be left alone for the next couple of hours.”

“Deal.” Shiro immediately replies.

“Shiro!” Pidge screams from Hunk’s arms. “We both know that he’s just gunna masturbate to porn!”

“Pidge you have four tablets,” Shiro sighs, “just let Lance take this one.”

“No!” Pidge instantly replies. “I want that one!”

“And I wanted mac and cheese day to be moved from Monday to Friday!” Shiro cries back, eyes shining with what Hunk _hopes_ is not tears. Keith lays a consoling hand on Shiro’s shoulder while Pidge falls silent in what Hunk can only presume is pure, utter confusion. It takes Pidge a second to bounce back but when they do, they turn their glare back to Lance who has risen from their seat.

“You better not get your jizz on my screen.” Pidge threatens, lifting a finger in Lance’s direction. Lance scoffs slightly, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, as if. _I_ only werk it into tissues infused with a soothing aloe and vitamin e lotion like any _respectable_ person.” Lance huffs, holding the tablet to his chest like a life line and strutting past the seething Pidge and the frozen Blades of Marmora.

“You’re lucky this place has cameras in every corridor, _bitch_.” Pidge calls out after him as the doors to the bridge slide shut.

Hunk holds onto Pidge for only a few minutes longer before slowly loosening his hold and letting them slump back down to the floor.

“This family is weird as shit.” Pidge complains as they recline back against Hunk’s legs. With a brief glance around the room, making note of the armoured Galras, the formally dressed Alteans, and the four remaining humans left in the room, Hunk was inclined to agree.

Their family was weird as shit.

But it was _their_ family.

XxX

Keith honestly believed that Shiro was the worst advice giver in the Universe. ‘Just tell him how you feel’, what kinda bullshit advice was that?

And Shiro didn’t seem to take too kindly to Keith’s reply of ‘ Not to be dramatic but I would literally rather die than tell Lance I like him.’

So Keith was at a deadlock. A deadlock that he had a pretty good solution to.

He’d just never tell Lance that he liked him as more than a friend and hold onto his unvoiced affection until the day he died.

Yeah.

That was an amazing plan.

Keith has no idea what Shiro was talking about when he said he’s just be digging himself into a “deeper hole”. Keith felt like a new man after he left Shiro’s room alongside the Black Paladin to attend the meeting where Pidge was, apparently, able to pull some information form Lotor’s bugged database.

Keith had himself sorted, he knew what he had to do- and all he had to do was stick with it.

Of course then Lance had to go and release his usual stream of bullshit and Keith was left with a dirtbag brain that kept showing him mental pictures. And so, not even half an hour into his self-made promise, Keith was already thinking about him.

Again.

XxX

It took nearly five hours for Lance to re-emerge from his bedroom.

Five hours that were (unfortunately) _not_ spent beating his meat.

Oh, he’d had full intentions to go in and clean his whistle (Lord knows he needed it, his imagination could only offer him so much) but then...Lance got sucked in.

And not even the type of ‘succ’ he liked.

No.

He got sucked...into the fucking plot.

Now Lance was hardly Prince’s Lotor’s biggest fan. But as he buckled down in bed, tablet in one hand and limp dick in the other- he almost….grew to feel affectionate for the guy. Plus it’s not like you can read about yourself falling in love with someone in thirty different ways and _not_ feel something.

So emerging from his room five hours later and feeling like his world was completely turned on its axis, Lance knew he had to fix this; and his momma told him there was only one way to get things off your chest.

And that was to tell someone.

Luckily for Lance that person happened to be Shiro, who was walking down the corridor in his direction.

“Shiro!” Lance called out, bouncing over to him, tablet still in hand. As Lance slowed to a stop in front of the older paladin, he quickly tried to think of a way to phrase his recently developed dilemma.

“I need your help.”

Shiro raises a brow but doesn’t seem particularly opposed since he doesn’t try to stop Lance from continuing.

“So I was reading through _this_ ,” he begins, lifting Pidge’s table, “and now I’ve kinda got a problem…”

Shiro suddenly looks far less willing and Lance is hit with a bout of realization.

“Oh, I can still get hard!” He insists. “Don’t worry it’s not about that.”

Shiro does not look any less relaxed.

“What I mean is…” Lance trailed off. “I...I think I...liked it?” He said quietly. “Reading about Lotor and...I.”

Lance shifts from foot to foot, feeling slightly anxious but not quite knowing why. He hasn’t done anything _wrong_ per se, but there was still the implication of what he was saying. Maybe that’s what was setting him off?

“What I’m trying to say is...Is it weird if I _kinda_ wanna let him rearrange my guts?”

Shiro stared at him for a long moment.

Lance was beginning to feel awkward when the other Paladin finally opened their mouth.

“Did you honestly just ask me if it’d be weird for you to _pity fuck_ our enemy?” Shiro asked, voice growing more incredulous.

“Uhhh...no?”

Shiro continues to stare.

Movement in the corner of his eye has Lance backtracking. A slight tilt of his head reveals that Keith turning a corner at the end of the hall is the cause of said awareness.

“You know what? Forget it!” Lance exclaims, wary grin on his face as he begins sliding to where he’d last spotted the Red Paladin. Lance doesn’t wait for Shiro to voice any sort of agreement before he’s running after the other Paladin like a bat out of hell.

As soon as Lance turns the corner he’d seen Keith disappear behind, he nearly ends up colliding with the other boy. Keith startles at the near impact and whips around in an instant.

“Lance.” He said, brows furrowed and sounding slightly breathless.

“Keith.” Lance parrots, equally as breathless. “I kinda wanna sleep with Prince Loser because I’ve spent the last couple of hours reading about falling in love with him and man it was too wholesome to get off to so now I kinda need your help because I feel all weird inside.” Lance spits out, words flying too fast for him to stop.

Keith looks vaguely disturbed, but he hasn’t run away so Lance will take it as a win.

“Okay so...you’re...upset because...because you couldn’t jack off?” Keith asks slowly.

Lance nods insistently.

“And also I feel weird,” he adds before reaching forward and laying Keith’s hands on his stomach. “Here.” He specifies.

Keith’s hands are smaller than his, but Lance also happens to know they’re rougher and capable to carrying quite the punch. So the Red Paladin’s hands sit as a comfortable weight on his gut.

Keith is staring at where Lance has laid his hands, eyes practically burning a hole into Lance’s body with their intensity.

“Keith?” Lance asks, tilting his head in curiosity as he lightly poked the other boy in the cheek. That seems to snap him back to reality. Keith’s head flips back to meet his gaze, eyes a slight rosy hue as he slowly pulled his hands away from Lance’s stomach.

“Keith what do I do?” Lance asks, peering at the other paladin because this is new for Lance, okay? Because Lance has locked legs and swapped gravy with plenty of people before and sure that was _fun_ , but this was different.

Lance could feel that it was different.

Reading about Lotor and how soft he’d treat him, how he genuinely cared for Lance and wanted to be _with_ him, not just for the sake of sex but because he actually _liked_ him- liked _Lance_ . That was surreal, Because as far as Lance could recall, none of his past relationships ever included someone that _actually_ liked him.

As the silence began to drag on between them, Lance felt the discomfort in him begin to rise.

“Keith?” He asked in a quiet voice he almost never spoke in. “Buddy? You gunna say something?”

“It feels like worms doesn't it?” Keith suddenly says. Lance is momentarily confused.

“What?” He asks.

“Worms.” Keith repeats, eyes glowing with some emotion Lance had never seen him ever direct at anyone. “Your stomach feels like worms are just crawling around in you and it’s _weird_ and _gross_ and you just want it to stop.” Keith says, a thoughtful expression creeping onto his face as he gazed at Lance.

Lance feels himself slowly nodding to Keith’s words because that was right. His stomach _did_ feel like worms were sliming around inside him.

“And sometimes your head feels like it’s being stuffed with cotton and you can’t think straight,” Keith adds, taking a step forward and nearly bumping his chest against Lance’s. Lance grins, nodding in agreement because that was true! His head felt fuzzy as he lay in bed, reading line after line of proclamation of Lotor’s devotion and adoration.

“Then when you finally manage to pull yourself out of your head, your heart feels like it’s about to beat itself to death, going so fast you’re almost afraid it might stop!” Keith exclaims, tilting his head up to gaze at Lance, his breath brushing against Lance’s lips. Lance feels himself nodding along with Keith’s words, hanging onto every letter.

“Your palms get all sweaty,” Keith continues, looking down at his gloved hands, Lance mirrors his actions. “And your mouth gets all dry,” he adds, smacking his lips together in slight distaste. “And you just feel like you wanna _crawl_ out of your skin!” Keith exclaims, clenching his fists by his side and snapping his head back up at Lance.

“And yet…,” he says softly, “and yet...it’s the greatest thing you’ve ever felt.”

Lance nods his head so hard he almost worries he’s jostling his brain around too much.

“Yes!” He exclaims. “Yes, that’s exactly it!”

Keith’s eyes have become strongly focused on Lance, his expression strangely longing.

“But…” Lance trails off. “How...how do you know how I feel?” He asks, feeling his curiosity begin to rise back up.

At his question Keith’s face shifts into nervousness. His eyes begin avoiding Lance’s gaze and he shifts his weight from foot to foot. His hands tug on the front of his black shirt, finger digging into the fabric.

“Because…,” he begins. “B-because..I...It’s...It’s the same way that I feel…” Keith says lowly, voice barely above a whisper. “When I’m with you.”

Lance feels his organs run cold, the blood in his veins freezing. And he swears, absolutely _swears_ , that his heart stops for a few seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh im actually surprised i managed to write so much for a chapter while navigating christmas eve!! now all i have to do is complete the second chapter to 'i just wanna make love to you' and my self made promises will be complete!!!  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	18. 1-800-are-u-crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets his reply

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aghh sorry for being a little late!! i wanted to try to get this up by new years or new years day

The thing is that Keith is no stranger to awkward situations (the most prominent example being when he watched ‘Annie’ for the first time at one of his foster homes and not-so-quietly murmured ‘God I wish that were me’).

So Keith has experience in long uncomfortable silences and wide-eyed staring. He’s more or less used to it.

But that doesn’t mean he’s ready to face that sort of reaction from _Lance_.

The Blue Paladin had fallen uncharacteristically silent, smile having disappeared as soon as Keith managed to muster up any remaining fucks he could find within himself to admit his slightly stronger than normal affection for the other boy.

Now Keith may not be the most “cultured” person on the team but he once had a subscription to Teen Vogue so he’s pretty sure he knows his shit. He’s read every article on dating advice that his monthly issues used to hold (mainly out of boredom but it was better than nothing) and so he also knows how confessions are supposed to turn out. Therefore he can confidently say that he knows they’re not supposed to go so..so.. _silent_.

“Lance?” He asks, brows furrowed nervously. There’s a strange stillness between them. Lance looks almost frozen in time as he stares at Keith with uncomprehending eyes.

“ _Lance?_ ” He repeats, voice growing more insistent as he took a step forward, chest lightly bumping with the other paladin’s. The slight movement appeared to have snapped the other boy back to attention, his blue eyes regaining clarity as he focused his gaze on Keith. An uneasy smile began tugging at his lips.

“H-hah,” He chuckled tensely as he raised a hand to clap Keith on his shoulder. “Good one, Keith!” He says, his grin steadily returning to it’s normal bounciness as he lightly gripped Keith’s shoulder.

Keith frowned in confusion.

“Ya almost had me there man!” Lance laughs, bright smile taking over his face as he leant in close to Keith to lightly pat him on the cheek with some strange sort of fondness.

“What?” Keith asks, uncertainty tingeing his voice as he raises both arms to grip Lance’s wrists before he could pull away.

“I mean yeah I get it-” Lance began. “-I know I can sorta bug you and then dumpin’ this _all_ on you must’ve been your last lick so-”

“Wait. What?” Keith says, raising his hand to pinch Lance’s lips closed. “What are you talking about?” He asks, feeling at a loss as Lance forcibly fell silent in front of him. The Blue Paladin attempted to talk as Keith held his mouth shut, even raising his own hand to pull Keith’s away.

Keith lets his arm drop down, waiting for an explanation as Lance let out a small whine and began gently massaging his lips.

“I _meant_ ,” Lance said, slightly muffled, “your little gag about how I feel.” He adds, pouting slightly as if testing out his lips.

“It wasn’t a gag.” Keith replied, brow raised slightly and feeling a flare of annoyance as Lance began sucking in his cheeks to make a stupid expression. “Would you quit doing that?!” He glared.”I didn’t even grab your mouth _that_ hard!””

Lance huffs slightly but drops the expression.

“Well what do you mean it wasn’t a ‘gag’?” Lance asks absently as he begins bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands swinging back and forth by his side. “What’d ya mean then?”

Keith sighs slightly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know Lance- if it’s not a joke then _what_ is it?”

Lance stops for a second, looking momentarily baffled. “Uhhh...I mean...like...I asked you first, technically, so shouldn’t you tell me?”

Jesus Christ he was going to have to walk Lance through this one wasn’t he?

“Lance.” Keith began, taking a calming breath. “What’s the opposite of a ‘joke’?” He asks, making sure to put air quotes around the word.

Lance looks thoughtful, tilting his head slightly as he searched through his mind for an answer.

“A tragedy!” Lance suddenly exclaims, smile wide in pride at having come up with an answer.

Well Keith was certainly beginning to feel like it _was_ a tragedy- but he was nothing if not dedicated.

“No.” He replies, ignoring the crestfallen expression of the other boy. “If a joke is mainly a lie then that means that-”

“A joke is a lie?” Lance asks suddenly, confusion in his voice as he leant in closer to Keith. Keith breathes slowly through his nose.

“ _Yes_ .” He says, more steady than he feels. “And since I said _I_ wasn’t joking then that means I was telling the _truth_.”

Lance’s expression falls blank.

“Oh for the love of-! Lance I _think_ I have a crush on you!” Keith exclaims, frustrated, as heat rises to his cheeks.

Lance’s eyes widen in surprise because he’s a fucking _moron_ who tests Keith’s patience and why? _Why_ does he somehow find himself being drawn to him anyway?

For a while the silence drags on. Lance staring at him with the same strange expression he had earlier while Keith...waited. Waited and also secretly hoped this wouldn’t blow up in his face because as much of a dumbass and a jerk as Lance could be he wasn’t an _asshole_.

Lance was something so _far_ from an asshole so...he wouldn’t laugh at Keith. He just _wouldn’t_. That much Keith was certain.

What he wasn’t certain of was when Lance’s face fell into a disappointed frown.

“Are you serious?” He asked softly, softer than Keith had ever heard him. He wasn’t yelling or screaming or flipping out. He was...quiet. And somehow that hurt more than anything.

“Yes.” Keith replied, nodding tensely as he stared at Lance. Lance bit his lip, shifting in place as his eyes cast down, away from Keith. A sharp pang went through his heart at the action.

“I..I..-” Lance began, face blossoming into a strange blush. Strange because Lance _doesn’t_ blush at things like this- he makes raunchy jokes that embarrasses everyone in the room and cheesy lines that diffuse a tense atmosphere. He’s not doing either of those things at the moment. Lance’s mouth is opening and closing, eyes pointedly not looking at Keith as he struggles to get any words out.

For the first time Keith decides to be the one to talk first.

“I like you.” Keith says slowly. “Like...a lot.”

Lance nods slowly like he’s listening.

“So,” Keith begins. “I wanna know...if you...like me?”

Lance’s fists tighten at his side. Keith feels his own chest beginning to tighten as well, his breaths coming out choppier.

“I…” Lance says quietly. “I don’t...know.”

Keith feels his shoulders sag in definitive relief. It’s not a ‘no’. _It’s not a ‘no’!_

…

But it’s also not a ‘yes’.

“You don’t know as in you don’t know if the feelings are _there_ ?” Keith asks. “Or you don’t know as in you don’t think that they could _develop_?” Keith says, pressing slightly. Lance shifts in place, eyes briefly flickering up to meet Keith’s. Their usual brightness has dimmed, and his eyes have become slightly watery. A conflicted expression crosses his face before it flickers back down to the floor.

“...I dunno.” Lance murmurs lowly, hands gripping the front of his shirt in a tight knuckle grip.

“What about ‘yes’ or ‘no’?” Keith asks, brows furrowing slightly as he begins wiping his sweaty palms against the sides of his thighs. “Do you like _me_?”

Lance’s head rises to look at him, forehead scrunched in thought? Displeasure? Conflict? Confusion?

Just as Keith thinks he’s about to get an answer, Lance lets his head fall back down. Something like excitement and despair begins pounding in Keith’s heart.

“ _Lance_.” Keith says, tone insistent as he raises his arms to rest lightly on Lance’s shoulders. “Come on you never stop talking and I really...I really just wanna know...what you’re thinking.”

Lance sighs deeply through his nose, raising his hands to rest them atop Keith’s.

“What am I supposed to think?” Lance asks softly, so soft that Keith nearly has to strain to hear it. “Why...why would you say something like this?”

Keith feels his heart stop.

“I..had to.” Keith replies.

He tried _not_ to.

He even had a plan all mapped out in his head.

He’d hang around Lance like he always did, but not _too_ close. Because as much as Lance aggravated him he also...made Keith happy. He made Keith really, _really_ happy. But then Keith got sucked into how Lance came to him asking him for help and how he felt queasy and then Keith’s heart started to race when Lance laid his hand on his stomach and it all just...spilled out.

“I had to.” Keith repeats with more purpose.

Lance leans closer to Keith, keeping his soft, warm hands atop the other boy’s. His nose brushes lightly against Keith’s collarbone, the warmth of his breath washing over his skin. Keith feels a shiver travel up his spine.

“You’re one of my best friends.” Lance murmurs against the Red Paladin’s neck. Keith swallows thickly, a soup of agitation swirling in his stomach. “One of my closest friends.” Lance adds. Keith can feel the plumpness of Lance’s lips touching the sensitive skin of his throat. He can feel the heat of Lance’s soft sighs.

Keith feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest.

“You…” Lance whispers hoarsely. Keith bites his lip, leaning into the comfortable weight of Lance. “You...and your friendship...mean so much to me.”

And just like that. Keith can hear his own heart shatter.

“You’re like one of the coolest people I know.” Lance says softly, gently squeezing Keith’s hands. “And you...you _get_ me. A lot people think that I’m...pretty weird but...that’s never bothered you.”

Lance slowly untangles himself from Keith, lifting his palms away from Keith’s hands, pushing away from his neck and taking his warmth with him.

Keith doesn’t stop him.

Keith can’t even _move_ to stop him.

Lance takes a step away from him and Keith wants to reach out for him.

But he doesn’t.

“Being my friend…” Lance says slowly. “Means more to me than anything else.”

Lance gives him a final look, brows furrowed, hands clenched in front of him as he turns. Just as he moves to take a step forward he stops, turning his head slightly to look at Keith.

“I’m sorry.” He says gently before turning back around and slowly beginning to walk away.

Keith watches him go. Watches his figure move further and further away until he turns a corner and disappears completely from Keith’s view.

He kinda wants to cry.

He kinda wants to write an email to those shitty editors at Teen Vogue that tricked Keith into thinking he could maybe do this in the first place.

He also kinda wants to find Shiro and stare at him in that creepy way he knows the older paladin hates.

He kinda wants to do a lot of things.

But...his chest hurts...and he can feel the familiar sting of tears building up behind his eyes.

So Keith just turns around and begins walking.

Maybe to his room.

Maybe to the training deck.

Maybe to the bridge.

Maybe to his Lion’s hanger.

He hasn’t decided.  

But he has decided that he’s not gunna stand in the middle of the hall and start crying like a baby. He’s not twelve anymore.

So Keith lets his feet carry him forward, not quite paying attention as he turns corners. His mind miles away, smoky thoughts filling his head as he continues moving. It’s only the distant sound of conversation that draws him back to reality.

As his head regains some clarity he realizes that he’s somehow wandered near the kitchen. The slightly muffled voices nearby have him turning in absent curiosity. As he wanders further, he immediately spots Shiro standing beside a beaming Hunk in matching aprons.

He stops for a moment, standing at the entrance to the room and watching silently as Hunk critically watches Shiro pull a metallic tray out of the oven and Keith already knows it’s going to turn out badly because Shiro can’t do shit. Unless it’s flying, doing push ups, or giving crappy advice.

Keith must’ve been standing in the entranceway for too long because Hunk spots him, eyes shining in happiness as he begins waving him over.

“Hey, Keith!” He greets, sweet smile tugging at his lips as he lifts a green piping bag into one of his hands.

Now Keith may be heartbroken and upset but like _fuck_ is he gunna take that out on Hunk.

“Hi.” He mutters, taking a step forward and making a beeline for one of the short stools stored under the kitchen island. Hunk’s smile widens before turning his attention back to the tray settled in front of him.

“What’re you doing?” Keith asks lowly, looking for any sort of distraction that could take his mind away from...everything.

Hunk raises his head slightly, piping bag pressed slightly against his cheek as his focused eyes pulled away from his work.

“I’m teaching Shiro to make cookies!” The Yellow Paladin exclaims. Shiro nods affirmatively beside him, holding a clear spatula in one hand and a tray with strangely shaped “cookies” in the other.

“Want one?” The Black Paladin asks, eyes open and honest as he lifts his spatula in preparation. Keith feels his lips begin to turn into a frown because Shiro- Shiro just _had_ to go and offer his _fucking advice_ and give Keith hope _didn’t he._

“You’re a dumb bitch.” He blurts out before he can restrain himself, fists clenched on the table as he glares at the other paladin. Shiro’s brows shoot up in surprise, even Hunk raises his head to shoot Keith a look.

“A _‘no’_ would have sufficed.” Shiro finally replies, voice not quite huffy as begins muttering under his breath and pulling out a cooling rack from one of the over head cabinets.

“Fuckin-. I’m not talking about your _cookies_ , Shiro.” Keith grinds out, letting his face fall into his cupped hands. Keith takes a slow steadying breath, heart pounding in his ears as he tries to psyche himself up. “Lance...rejected me.” He says slowly, managing to speak without choking.

The kitchen is silent and Keith doesn’t look up from his hands until he hears a quiet _‘oh’_. Quiet shuffling follows before Keith feels a firm weight settle on his shoulder.

“Keith…” Shiro says softly. “I-I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah me too.” Keith replies, lifting his head back of and resisting the urge to sniffle even though his nose has become watery. “Lance told me that...being his friend meant more to him than anything else.” He says weakly. Shiro gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“Keith.” Hunk says gently. Keith looks up, hoping his eyes aren’t red with unshed tears because Lance may see him as a friend ( _just_ a friend) but Hunk has always been something deeper. “Lance would never hurt you.” He says, eyes creased in sympathy.

Keith nods tensely.

“I know.”

Because Lance isn’t that type of person. He’s too kind and soft to be any sort of true malicious.

“Look, Keith…” Hunk continues, hands nervously fiddling in front of him as he gazed at the Red Paladin with sad eyes. Whether that look was for him or Lance, he wasn’t sure. “Lance...Lance doesn’t have much luck with...with-”

“Relationships?” Keith asks. Hunk furrows his brows slightly before sighing.

“More like attraction in general.” Hunk admits. “Lance likes people and he likes _to be liked_ by people.” He says, coming around the opposing corner of the counter and approaching Keith. “But Lance can be...idealistic sometimes...and more often than not it’s come back to bite him.”

Keith frowns in slight confusion, not quite understanding what Hunk was trying to articulate.

“So...what? Lance has had a few bad breakups?” Keith asks, voice probing as he gazes up at Hunk. The Yellow Paladin seems to hesitate before answering.

“Not quite.” He answers, fingers tapping lightly against the countertop. Hunk raises a finger to his lips, rubbing against his chin in slight thought. “Lance...he has a hard time...finding himself. He always has.” Hunk finally says.

Keith sits up straighter in his seat, jostling Shiro’s hand on his shoulder as he turned his attention further to Hunk.

“What do you mean?” Keith asks. Because Keith’s spent a lot of time in the Blue Paladin’s presence and he never got the impression that Lance was trying to go on some ‘spiritual journey’ or ‘emotional understanding’. The other boy seemed to just do whatever the fuck he wanted, regardless of whether or not people around him understood (an attitude that Keith could respect).

“Lance does this thing where he sometimes...builds himself around what _other people_ want.” Hunk begins. “If people have a certain view of him- then he tries to be _that_ person.  But since he’s not, eventually he falls back into his regular self and well....” Hunk trails off.

“ _That’s_ why Lance has been adamant about this Galra thing.” Shiro says beside Keith, voice dripping in realization. Hunk nods hesitatingly.

“That’s...part of it. For the most part I think it’s because he wants to feel useful and also because he likes the attention.” Hunk says, smiling fondly as if recalling Lance in his mind. Keith wonders how someone can love Lance as much as Hunk does all hours of the day. Even Keith feels the occasional moment of annoyance before it melts into amusement and fondness.

“But…” Keith begins. “Lance and I _already_ know each other.” He insists, looking up at Hunk inquisitively. “He wouldn’t need to pretend around me so then why...why would he turn me down?”

Hunk makes a nervous humming noise deep in his throat, fingers tapping nervously together before answering.

“Well that’s probably because...Lance has had a rough time with people telling him they _‘like’_ him.” Hunk says softly, tone verging on melancholy.

“What? You mean Nyma?” Keith asks.

Hunk shakes his head.

“Lance has been in more than a few relationships and pretty much all of them have fallen apart.” Hunk says slowly. “It’s usually for different reasons but in all of them- it’s always been Lance getting dumped.”

Keith feels a sting in his chest at the thought of Lance- bright eyed and excited and _in love_ , becoming dull and dejected….just like how he’d been before he left Keith.

“So Lance thinks...that I’ll just break up with him after a while?” Keith asks, feeling hurt begin to sing in his chest. Hunk nodded affirmatively.

“B-But I’d never do that to him!” Keith argues, rising in his chair slightly. “I care about him- he knows I do!”

“I’m sure that he does.” Hunk replies, expression slightly vacant as he stares down at Keith in sympathy. “But in his mind- if you’re going to leave anyway, then there's no point in trying to keep you in the first place.”

Keith feels expression fall, the consoling pats of Shiro doing nothing to help.

“But...I...wouldn’t _want_ to leave him.” Keith continues. Hunk takes a step forward, laying a soft hand on his forearms resting on the countertop.

“I know you like him.” Hunk says slowly. “And I’ve known Lance long enough to know that he feels something for you too...But you can’t push him on something like this.”

“I won’t.” Keith says, turning to face Hunk. “I swear I won’t.”

Hunk offers him a smile, cheeks their usual rosy hue before nodding in agreement.

“That’s good.” Hunk says quietly. “Just show him that he can move at his own pace and that you’ll be there waiting for him, when he’s ready...if he’s ever ready.”

Keith nods, pushing down the ache his heart forms at the thought of there being an ‘if’.

It took him awhile to see it and even longer to realize it- but Lance was special.

Keith could tell he was a certain kind of special the Red Paladin had never felt before. Maybe that was why he gravitated towards him so much, always tried to keep his eyes on him- even if that meant egging him on in an argument.

But this was something that meant a lot to Keith. Something he really, truly cared about.

Keith didn’t have a lot of those things but Lance McClain somehow became one of them- all without Keith noticing.

If that wasn’t worth fighting for then... Keith didn’t know what was.

XxX

Even with Hunk’s words ringing in his head Keith still felt the urge to see Lance again. The other boy had pretty much left him hanging, walking away as soon as he’d said his piece and...Keith never got a chance to say his.

As soon as he managed to slip away from the Yellow and Black Paladins, once  again rejecting their offer of alien confection, he immediately began making his way to Lance’s room. Unlike Keith, Lance had carved out his little slice of comfort within the castle already- and that was his room. Where he’d spend the majority of his days off napping and happily treating himself to his weird skin care routine (Keith may not understand it but it made Lance happy so who the fuck was he to judge?).

Keith knew, of course, that Lance likely wouldn’t want to see him so soon after his confession. Whether it was out of guilt, respect for Keith’s broken heart, or even embarrassment (though Keith doubted that was an emotion Lance felt often). But Keith knew he had to see Lance, had to affirm what he was doing and make sure that Lance knew that Keith thought he was worth it.

But even though that’s what he’d been telling himself on the way to Lance’s room, he still froze in front of the door, fist raised and ready to knock. Keith felt his own nervousness begin to crawl its way up his throat, unease settling in his stomach as he stared at the closed door because...what if they were wrong? What if Hunk and Shiro and he were just wrong and Lance just _didn’t_ like him and this was all just another way for him to humiliate himself in front of a boy that already turned him down once.

Keith didn’t even have the chance to consider pulling back before Lance’s door began sliding open, Lance himself already poised to step out before spotting Keith and freezing in place. Lance’s eyes were red, and Keith couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he’d been crying- if Keith had been the one to make him cry.

“Keith.” Lance croaked, wide-eyes settling on the Red Paladin. “What are you-”

“I think you’re cool too!” Keith accidentally shouts, unable to contain himself. “You’re kinda like the weirdest person I ever met but I like that about you! You make a lot of jokes that I don’t get but you don’t make fun of me for it and I like spending time with you because you make me feel warmer and good and I like it and I know that even though you may not want me right now- I still want you! So know that I’ll wait for you and that I’d still want you weeks, months, or even years from now and _I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope maybe one day you might want me too_.” Keith bursts out, hardly breathing as he spoke quickly in one breath, watching Lance’s expression go from surprised to completely stunned.

Keith’s lungs expanded in exertion as he finally paused to take a breath, trying not look like he was panting as Lance stared down at him with his bright blue eyes.

Keith’s brows furrowed as he watched Lance’s expression crease into a light smile, soft mouth curving, and eyes softening as he gazed down at Keith.

“Keith-” He began.

“I know,” Keith interrupted, taking a step forward and nearly bumping their chests together as he stared up at the Blue Paladin in earnest. “I know I haven’t got much to show for it other than my word- so I know you have no reason to believe me, but Lance I _promise_ that if you really want me to leave you alone then tell me and I swear that I’ll never-”

Lance cut him off. Tilting his head down and softly locking his mouth with the other paladin’s. Keith froze, limbs going still as Lance’s soft, warm, velvet lips meshed gently against his. Lance began moving his mouth against Keith unmoving one, the wax of his strawberry lip balm making the slow movements drag across Keith’s lips as the Blue Paladin raised a hand to gently cradle Keith’s chin.

Before Keith even got a chance to reciprocate- it was over. Lance pulling away with a barely audible smack of his pliable lips.

“Thank you.” Lance breathed against his mouth. Keith nodded, unable to choke out any words even if he wanted to. Lance smiles kindly at him before his eyes flickered back to his room. “Do you wanna hang out?” Lance asks, a nervous smile beginning to tug on his lips and replacing the gentle one that’d been there before. “I still have the gaming system we got from the Space Mall hooked up and I managed to find ‘Space Patrol II: Journey to the Unknown’ last time we went....we could play it together.” Lance offers.

Keith immediately nods, stepping in as Lance moves aside to welcome him.

As he sits down on Lance’s neatly made bed, he resolves to take a look through the Earth shop the next time the team made a stop to the Unilu swap moon- maybe he’d be able to find ‘Space Rangers I: A Match Made in Heaven’ (In Keith’s personal opinion, the best in the ‘Star Command’ game series).

As he watches Lance fumble with the controllers, connecting them to the system and activating the projector, Keith lets a flicker of excitement begin to bubble in his stomach. He and Lance were different, different in a lot of ways- but they were also similar. Sure, it’d be weird with them, maybe even awkward- but Keith wanted this and he hoped that Lance wanted it to. And if they both were willing to make go for it- then what was a little awkwardness?

Besides, Keith was hardly a stranger to awkward situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh man!!! I've got one final chapter from the galra pov that wraps this whole thing up and then this is complete!!  
> XxX  
> alright but honestly even tho i wrote this shit i feel so proud of both lance and keith because akjfgag- they’re going to help each other grow!!! and gosh im so proud this must be what MY mom felt when i took my first steps.  
> XxX  
> There's no smut unfortunately because as i finished writing this it kinda hit me that it would almost sorta undermine the emphasis i was trying to make on forming an emotional connection with someone before a sexual one which is something lance is struggling with and also what the majority of the galra were doing throughout. And there's also a lot of details i ended up cutting out because I couldn't fit them into the story but i'll just put them in the end notes of the next chapter!  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	19. don’t go breakiiing myy heearrrtt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how the galra have been taking it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh!!! it's complete!!!  
> and also- can't believe i never did this for an earlier chapter: but the entire fic's namesake- [as much as i like the original i love this one so much more](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uDQ0P9AWc8)  
> it's got such good vibes  
> XxX  
> This amazing AU was created by sososhady,tumblr.com and their [post](http://sososhady.tumblr.com/post/160888466503/spaceandcooljunklikethat-sososhady#notes)  
> come and destroy me on [my not so mediocre anymore blog! i totally redecorated](http://dairy-farmer.tumblr.com/)  
> 

Morale was low.

At first Commander Hocx had dismissed it as worry for the future of the Empire- Emperor Zarkon was, after all, temporarily out of commission as a result of Voltron’s attack on Central Command. But concern for the regime was still no excuse to deviate from orders of continued monitoring over footage in the Empire’s largest service hub.

But then the glum air surrounding the barracks continued- clearly something more was troubling those under his command. But distraction and inefficiency were not welcome under _his_ domain.

Discipline was cleary in order.

Calling soldiers in one by one would simply draw attention away from duties and start whisperings and speculation. Stars knew that his soldiers didn’t have anything _better_ to do.

But Hocx was once a foot soldier himself, he was fully aware of where casual ‘small talk’ was made- and he had been blessed with the keenest ears out of all his littermates, so listening in on conversations during evening nourishment would hardly be an issue. But even as he prepared to select the most tactically advantageous spot in the canteen he still felt the lingering sense of...heaviness.

Spending numerous cycles with the same Galra under his supervision had led to his eventual connection to the emotional resonance of his soldiers. Being a war Commander, he had become accustomed to the occasional fearful waves he would receive, along with the nervous, anxious, and satisfied ones.

But this...this was different. Yet Hocx couldn’t quite put his finger on _what_.

Entering the canteen, he immediately acquired the table in the far corner, the echoes of murmuring voices would bounce of the walls, allowing him to tap into the various conversations occurring around him.

He was fully prepared to hear false whisperings of a successful rebel attack on a nearby base (impossible as he had not been informed of anything of the sort), or perhaps snippets of news from their ‘temporary’ Emperor. Temporary because Hocx cannot imagine some of his comrades willingly saluting a halfling, no matter how successful his campaigns may have been.

Yet despite all his (realistic) expectations, what he heard was-

“...say...has...eyes...for the Red Paladin..-”

Hocx felt his ears perk up, tilting in the direction of a conversation occuring slightly East of his positioning.

He began subtly eyeing a large gathering of soldiers, leaning over cups of lightly spiced military rogg (what was this a tavern? They still had duties to fulfill following evening nourishment).

Their whisperings were quick, yet Hocx still managed to follow the meaning behind their words.

“....believe they...bonded?” One asked, voice hesitant.

“No!” Another vehemently denied, yet Hocx could still sense the edge of doubt within their tone.

“These...simply...allegations….lack….confirmation-!”

“Yet we sit here...over their...truth.”

Hocx hears the table fall silent, a certain tense aura beginning to manifest. Just as he believes the conversation is over- another Galra speaks, this time growling in slight agitation.

“Blue has not become bonded! I refuse to listen to speculations stating otherwise!” They spit out to the table before rising and starting away, their mane fluffing in clear distress. Hocx feels incredulity begin to rise.

Blue.

Of course _they_ were to blame for the distraction. One couldn’t go a single cycle without hearing Blue _this_ or Blue _that_.

Hocx was already bonded, so whatever posturing Blue did would be ultimately ineffective- he was _already_ taken. But the appeal- while being an unbonded Galra within a dry military would inevitably lead to Galra becoming more than a little affectionate with the object of their desires.

Hocx had seen it already. And he’d turned the other cheek. So long as they all fulfilled their duties, then what did it matter if they snuck stills of Blue from security footage?

But waning attention was now no longer acceptable as Emperor Zarkon’s-

...That heaviness he had been feeling. The slightest bit of weight in his chest- and Blue is apparently the cause….

When the realization hit him Hoxc almost wanted to weep.

That heaviness of his soul.

That weight in his chest.

The overheard conversation between his soldiers.

The distress of the Galra that had stormed away.

His soldiers were experiencing _heartache_.

XxX

“My men are behaving like cubs receiving their first rejection in courtship.” One Commander grumbled to another as they strode down the inspection hall of a ship bay. His partner gave a deep laugh, amusement in every corner of her face.

“Don’t be so heartless Commander Herkke!” She exclaims, clapping her fellow Galra on the back as they strode onto her docked war vessel. “As if you did not lament the failure of _your_ first courtship!”

Herkke continued walking before allowing his eyes to settle on her in a humorless gaze.

“I wouldn’t know, Commander Mory.” He replies simply before bypassing a patrolling sentry to enter the bridge. Mory freezes for a moment before their grin widens wildly. She instantly chases after him, striding up and wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“Do you wish to rectify that?” She asks lowly, whispering into her fellow Commander’s ear. Herkke’s mane instantly tenses, a deep sound of revulsion erupting from his chest.

“Mory, I’ve known you since we were cubs. We even had the same _Den Guardian_ -”

“No!” She instantly yells back, face twisting in annoyance. She takes a slow breath before allowing her wicked smile return. She glances at the exit furtively as if checking for any listeners. Her ears tilt upwards in excitement as she leans close to whisper to the other Galra.

“I have one.” She informs him, eyes glittering in joy.

Herkke raises a brow as she continues to watch him with a expectant eyes.

“One...what?” He asks even though years of experience have taught him to _never_ ask.

“A Blue Bot.” She replies, smile the very picture of innocence. Herkke continues to stare at her, his mind not quite registering what she said.

“Did you...just say...you have...a Blue Bot?” He asks slowly, tasting each word as it left his mouth because there was no way, _no way_ that _Mory_ had one. She wasn’t part of any outgoing crew, so her pay grade was significantly lower than the average Commander, even if it was higher than his.

“You know of Zoreke?” She asks. Herkke feels himself absently nod. “Well he owed me for a coverup I did for him when we were in basic training and I decided to cash it in.”

Herkke’s face creases into a frown.

“You had a Commander of a Sentry Plant indebted to you...and you exchanged it for some..some repurposed _sentry_ ?” He asks incredulously. He saw the appeal of Blue, _really he did_. But exchanging potentially invaluable debts for some sloppy pleasure bot rendered in his image?

Mory had cleary lost herself. Yet her smile was unwavering.

“He came in four flavors.” She informs him.

Oh, _stars_.

“He’s programmed with more than twenty pulses! So as you’re pounding into him- it’s like he’s squirming in pleasure-”

“Stop.” Herkke order, not needing the imagery in his head. Mory’s grin widens.

“Do you wish to see for yourself?” She asks, leaning in close enough for him to feel her warm breath on his cheek.

Never had Herkke craved death more than he did presently.

XxX

“You don’t believe what the others are saying is true do you?” One soldier whispered to another as they entered their shared sleeping quarters.

“About Blue?” His companion responds, unclasping his breastplate. The Galra fidgeting behind him doesn't respond, instead unlatching their own gauntlets. “It could be.” The Galra adds, tugging the plate over their head.  His companion gives a slight whine.

“But...but now? And the _Red Paladin_?” He asks incredulously.

“They _are_ both rebels _and_ share a dwelling.” His companion replies, sitting heavily on the lower bunk. “And it is not as if there is any shortage of Galra with an interest- even if there were no whispers of him bonding with the Red Paladin, there is no guarantee he would have chosen any of _us_.”

His companion looks stricken.

The Galra removing his leg guard glances up and catches the look. A moment of silence passes between them before the Galra gives a light sigh, rising and approaching his fellow soldier.

“Hey…” He begins, a look of discomfort crossing his features. “There...are plenty of suns in the Universe.”

His companion looks down to the floor, their unclasped gauntlets hanging from their forearms.

“But I don’t _want_ just any sun!” He replies, voice watery as he turns on his heel and leaves the room in a flash.

The Galra that remained stares at the door beginning to slide closed something like sympathy ringing in his chest.

“That....” He sighs, slumping back down to his bed. “Is understandable.”

XxX

“Did you hear about what Zoreke has in his possession?!” A Galra hissed as they approached a group of softly chatting engineers.

“You mean his...side project?” One asks, brow raised. _All_ knew of Zoreke and his talent in artistry as well as his...heavily priced wares.

“No!” The slightly breathless Galra replied. “Former members of his squadron say that when Voltron attacked his post, the Blue Paladin gave him...they say he gave him a...a-”

“A what?” One of the Galra hissed, mane rising in annoyance as they gazed down at the flushed Galra.

“...they say that Blue gave him a _token_.” He finally chokes out, eyes wide as they whispered the information to the group which instantly fell silent.

“A token?” One asked, incredulous.

“An actual token?!” Another interjected. “Or was it a trinket?!”

“No, it was a token!” The Galra replied, voice insistent. “They say it’s blessed with his hand and his buss!”

The herd of Galras falls silent once again, all of them absorbing the newly presented information.

“Is is for sale?” One asks immediately, leaning forward in interest. The others soon follow his example. The Galra shakes his head.

“His former crew says he’s keeping that one for himself, he has it tucked on his person at all times- he never parts with it.”

A somber silence falls between the group of Galra.

“And when he bathes?” One pipes up. The others turn to them in confusion. “Does Commander keep the token on him when he bathes?”

For a moment none of them say anything until a wave of realization hits them all.

When Zoreke bathes- his armour and possessions are left unguarded.

His _token_ is left unguarded.

A look of understanding passed between each of the Galra present.

For in trying times a simple token from one’s mate could be enough to bring one through their duties- but never, in any Galran code of honor, did it state that one could not _steal_ another’s token.

XxX

“Officer Pithork, what are you still doing here?”

The Galra seated at their monitor flinched in surprise, fur rising in shock, as they turned to face Galra that addressed them them.

“Supervisor Norvok!” They exclaim, rising from seat to salute the approaching Galra. “I was simply reviewing footage from the raid on Commander Kavo’s Cargo Vessel!” They exclaim. Norvok raises a brow before maneuvering around the Galra to see the images from the scuffle between the Paladins of Voltron and the Sentries guarding the shipment. Several stills have been locked to focus on the Blue Paladin as well as the Red Paladin. Each image revealed them to be standing in close proximity- fighting back to back, standing shoulder to shoulder, and one where the Red Paladin has their hand rested on the Blue Paladin’s lower back.

Their bodies are clearly at ease with one another, their movements displaying a sort of...bond between them.

Suddenly Norvok knows why Officer Pithork was still in the decryption room, viewing footage that was to be transmitted to the nearest Empire Hub.

“You as well?” He asks, turning to face the Galra, his own face painted in disappointment.

Pithork meets his eyes with a wide gaze and an emotion passes between them, one that has Pithork slumping his shoulders in defeat. Because try as he may, the footage before him spoke clear enough and the only thing that saved him from being penalized for remaining in his station following his dismissal was one thing-

Understanding.

XxX

The first sign that the Galra vessel was under attack were the alerts immediately signaling engine failure in all four quadrants of the ship.

“They have already boarded.” Kavo grit out, eyes sharpening as he looked to the sentries manning his systems. Launching attacks from the bridge would be futile if the enemy was already on his ship. “Launch all fighters!” He orders a nearby command drone as he turns to exit the room.

Cargo ships carry nearly no information, only war ships do- so the terminal goal was clearly destruction of Empire supplies.

At the thought Kavo nearly stopped his stride to the main bay holding the shipment.

No.

This was only his fourth time leading a full scale level delivery- failure or loss of too many goods would lead to his immediate demotion.

The thought of returning to the position of supervisor was enough for him to hurry his pace to the main bay where the sound of fighting could already be heard. Blasts from sentries  striking the walls of the bay as the attackers advanced closer. Kavo grit his teeth, summoning his sword and peeking around a support pillar to the assailants.

He nearly drops his weapon when he sees the uniforms.

 _Voltron_.

Voltron on _his_ ship- attacking _his_ cargo.

Kavo tightens his grip on his weapon, resolve strengthening as he tried to think of a strategy that didn’t involve dying or losing his shipment. He needed to think- he was a great warrior, one of the youngest Galra to ever become a Commander- he could do this, he could-

A sudden blast of blue plasma on the pillar he was hiding behind had him straining to see who had fired, worrying his position had been compromised. As he did a sudden tightness formed in his chest.

 _Blue armour_ was his first thought.

He knew that body. He knew that face. He knew that stance. That fighting style. He _knew_.

Blue. The object of every Galra’s fantasies. And he was here, on Kavo’s ship. On _Kavo’s_ ship.

He didn’t notice his mouth had begun curling into a fond smile until it slipped away. Slipped away as he watched the Red Paladin begin to fight beside Blue. The two moved with a certain grace that said they were fully aware of the other’s existence, their bodies vibrated with a connection...a connection that Kavo knew only existed between _paired_ Galra.

No.

_No._

An ache settled in Kavo’s stomach as he gazed upon the scene. No.

Blue couldn’t have settled.

It was impossible.

Blue was...was supposed to remain uncommitted.

But the Red Paladin.

_The Red Paladin._

Kavo felt an urge, a pull, beginning to tug him forward, tug him in the direction of the Red Paladin. Before he knew it- he was upon him, sword slashing down to the smaller being.

It was easily blocked, met with an impressive amount of strength for one so much _smaller_ than him. (Blue deserved a big mate, an impressive mate that could hold him in his arms).

The Red Paladin leaped up to thrust their sword forward, looking to disarm him, Kavo quickly sidestepped the move. (Blue deserved a fast mate, a quick mate that would rush to him in a time of need).

Kavo raised his sword, meeting the Red Paladin’s block with all his force. Kavo grit his teeth together as he forced himself to push down harder, _harder_ , **_harder_ **. The Red Paladin was forced to release his sword, jumping back several feet and watching Kavo with sharp eyes. (Blue deserved a strong mate, a resilient mate that could fend of all sorts of attacks).

Kavo met the Red Paladin’s gaze, both their eyes filled with an understanding that this challenge- it had meant more than just another battle.

“ _You_.” Kavo began, frown creeping across his face. “You don’t deser-”

“ _Keith_!” A sudden voice called out from behind him. Kavo nearly turned, ready to meet his enemy head on when a stunning shot hit the back of his head. The immediate dizziness brought him to his knees, the heat and pain of a plasma shot pushing him to the brink of consciousness.

Just as his eyes were beginning to close- he saw a Blue figure rushing to the Red Paladin’s side. Kavo could feel Blue’s concern and worry even as he began to drift away.

Of course.

How could he forget?

Challenging a pair- even if resulting in victory, did not guarantee the one which was desired.

As Kavo felt himself fall to the power of a stunning shot, his failure to deliver his shipment was the last thing on his mind. Because he had won the challenge- yet _still_ lost.

The memory of Blue’s wave of concern hit him with such force he nearly buckled under it.

Or maybe...he never even had a chance.

XxX

Lotor didn’t make it a habit of going to Central Command.

It was an unspoken acknowledgement that he was not welcome among his kin, no matter the circumstances of his birth. But regardless of what opinions his ‘fellow soldiers’ may have of him, it did not change the reality that he was currently the highest ranking official in the Empire following the “demise” of his father.

And while several of his father’s Commander’s were content to allow him to do as he pleased and rule from a distance, his presence was still required on occasion. Afterall, a true leader couldn’t linger forever in the shadows. And Lotor was more of a leader than any of the rabble his father had gathered.

But Lotor was no fool.

He’d never wander into the den of vermin without a guarantee of his safety. And so Ezor, Narti, Zethrid, and Acxa were to accompany him on board. As always, they each had their assigned roles to play. Ezor would keep her ears peeled for the latest information on the Empire (that is- the information they _weren’t_ telling Lotor). Narti was to stick to the shadows. Acxa was to follow him, and Zethrid was to lead because half-breed or not she was larger than the next ten Galra in the room. And no matter what his father’s people may believe, size _did_ matter.

Lotor, while tense, was confident none of the Galra at Central would try anything. They wouldn’t _dare_.

But the overhanging threat was still there. So Lotor sat tensely as Haggar and his father’s more loyal servants ran through the same repertoire they always did. Made the same decisions they always did. Came to the same conclusions they always did.

It really was getting quite boring.

Haggar made the same request she always did as Lotor made to leave as soon as his presence was no longer needed and his appearance was noted by more than fifty generals.

And Lotor left. As he always did.

Returning to his ship was a relief from the pressing aura of Central. Even Lotor the “half-breed” that he was could sense the sourness of the air, the disappointment of the Galra residing in Central.

Something had happened.

As soon as he could, he ordered Acxa to scan the ship for any trackers, viruses in their systems. Zethrid was to check and ensure every weapon on board was fully functional. He wouldn’t put it past some of his father’s more moronic supporters to try something on his ship- he’s long since learnt his lesson of underestimating them.

As he settled down, Narti already manning her station, Ezor suddenly appeared, dropping her camouflage. Lotor straitened in his seat, staring down at her and tensing as he noted her downcast gaze.

“What happened?” Lotor asked, an edge to his voice as his fists clenched by his side.

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” Ezor reported, beaming up at him with a strained smile. “A couple lost Cargo vessels, some destroyed warships, _a lot_ of demoted Commanders- Voltron is-” At this Ezor stumbles slightly, face falling before she recovers.

“Voltron is expanding its hold as well.”

Lotor purses his lips as Ezor moves to return to her station.

“No.” Lotor says, voice reverberating through the room and catching the attention of his other generals. “That’s not it.”

Ezor turns to face him, expression uneasy and suddenly she too reeks of the sourness plaguing Central.

“I swear, Lotor!” She exclaims, hands raised in innocence and mouth stretched more into a grimace than a smile. “That’s all I-”

“Do not lie to me.” Lotor says plainly, gazing down at Ezor. Ezor stiffens for a moment, mouth clicking shut as she stared up at Lotor with wide eyes, his other generals tensing as he and Ezor stared one another down.

Finally Ezor’s shoulder’s slump in disappointment.

“It’s Blue.” She begins softly, voice holding an edge of embarrassment as he skin begins to glow a greenish color. “Word around Central is that he’s become...paired with the Red Paladin.”

At this her head drops down, staring at the floor in what Lotor can only presume is humiliation.

...He feels a tad bit humiliated as well. And why? The answer escapes him. It’s not as if there had been any mutual relationship between him and the Blue Paladin. All of it had been fantasy- he knew it was fantasy, that it _wasn’t_ real, that it would _never_ be real.

Yet….

As Ezor’s words continued to sink in...he couldn’t stop the trickle of grief that leaked into his heart. The memory of the one moment he had held the Blue Paladin in his arms, forcing itself into his brain.

The Blue Paladin had been small, as small as his stories had described. But his smell, the softness of his body, his skin so close he could almost _taste_ him- all of those had been different.

And they were gone.

Blue was someone else’s. This time in reality.

“I’m sorry.” Lotor says, not able to stop himself in time before he said it. Ezor looked up at him in surprise. “I know you liked him.” Lotor continues, voice sounding hollow even to his own ears. He’s not really sure whether he’s talking to Ezor or himself anymore.

Ezor stares at him for a minute longer, gaze searching before letting her mouth curve into a small smile.

“It’s alright!” She exclaims, with only a fraction of her usual bubbly attitude. “There’s plenty of suns in the Universe!” She adds before turning around and continuing to her station.

Lotor watches her go in silence. Plenty of Suns, huh?

He thinks briefly back to the nights he lays awake, almost wishing that he wasn’t lying alone. But that thought is gone as soon as it comes.

Plenty of Suns?

Every sun is dying.

And eventually, eventually- they’ll all burn out.

Then what will they say about there being ‘plenty of suns’?

XxX

Kolivan almost pitied his fellow Blades.

During the next briefing between the Blade of Marmora and Voltron- it was quite obvious what was occuring between the Red and Blue Paladins.

The proximity.

The shared looks.

The softly resting hands.

The small concealed smiles.

It was quite obvious to every Blade present what was happening.

And Kolivan pitied them. Love and attraction truly were cruel, especially if one could only bare witness.

But rules were rules. And they were only cubs, it wasn’t as if it was the end for them- they were quite literally _surrounded_ by other young, heartbroken Galra that would be seeking comfort following the current revelation.

At that thought Kolivan almost stops.

His Blades would be seeking comfort...they would be seeking balms to soothe their burned souls- and the walls of the Marmora base were very, very thin.

….

Clearly this was punishment for his taking earlier amusement at them. Kolivan breathes in slowly through his nose and turns his attention back to the meeting table, they were, afterall, planning _another_ attack with their newly acquired information.

As he turns to face the Princess he catches a slight movement out of the corner of his eyes. Without giving much away, he lets his eyes take in the sight before him.

The Blue Paladin is delicately braiding a strand of the Red Paladin’s hair, fingers deftly moving as they weaved each strand of dark hair into place.

Kolivan feels a strange affection begin to build in his chest. Maybe it’s pride at seeing a fellow Blade find their other. Maybe it’s at seeing the lack of loneliness in the Blue Paladin’s eyes.

He knows his other Blades are watching, their hearts filled with longing.

And Kolivan almost pities them.

A soft look passes between the Red and Blue Paladins.

Almost. But not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now as promised all my cut lines and dialogue that i never managed to work into the fic D:
> 
> “Tiroth do you have any idea how much semen has been spilled in honour of this ass?”  
> XxX  
> “No one in my family would ever tell me about surprise parties for my siblings because they knew my loyalty could be bought and sold like coffee on a college campus.”  
> XxX  
> “I’ve done weirder things.” Lance says, sounding slightly offended. Pidge groans and closes their eyes as if trying to Lysol the thought away.  
> “Ugh you don’t have to tell me that. I once walked in on you and Hunk holding a seance in the old custodian closet at the Garrison.”  
> “My hermit crab passed away while we were still in school! What else was I supposed to do?”  
> XxX  
> “Hey!” Lance protested. “I rocked your world!”  
> “Stop saying things that people can misinterpret due to lack of context!” Keith yelled.  
> XxX  
> “Oh sorry!.. I...can’t hear...you!” Lance begins, loudly making speedboat sounds between his words, “I...think..we’re...we’re breaking..up.”  
> “Lance I can see you through our dash videos. I know you’re faking.” Keith says boredly.  
> Lance freezes in place, his shoulders tensing as he slowly turns his head to face Keith’s image on his right. Keith raises a brow at him, looking distinctly unimpressed. Without another word, Lance reaches a hand forward and dismisses the feed between them as he stares straight into Keith’s eyes.  
> XxX  
> “Sometimes I feel like you should just...like have a glass of water.”  
> XxX  
> “Keith,” Lance began. “If there is one sacred truth left in the world it’s that spitters are quitters.”  
> XxX  
> “Calm your pretty little tits Keith, I wasn’t being serious.”  
> XxX  
> “Really?” Lance asks, glancing around at the various looks he was getting. “That's where you guys draw the line?”  
> XxX  
> “Show’s what you know!” Lance screams at Keith's retreating back. “I’ll have you know that pole dancing is humanity’s single most greatest achievement.”  
> ~  
> and now that this fic is done i'll start focusing my attention on that E fic where keith wants lance baaad so if you also happen to be waiting for that then you're in luck because i plan to post a chapter sometime this weekend!!!


End file.
